Need some support with these experiences

Wanted to write and see if anyone had similar situations.  On April 8th had to be intabated on way to ER as mitral valve ruptured and lung collapsed while I was awake.  In ER had to be intabated again and of course had to be restrained.  This lasted 9 hours and then flew to Cooper University where open heart surgery was performed and tissue valve replaced.  Ventilators and lots of tubes.  Out three weeks, heart started racing.  Back in hospital for a little shock and out.  A couple of weeks later, back in with 199 pulse.  This time, back to Cooper and 4 proceedures, TEE, EPS, ablation, and then the defibrillator pacemaker.  Ejection fraction at this point 20%.  This past month, upon defib test,  after that another trip to ER and back in hospital.  This entire time has been extremely difficult on my family members and my mental and emotional state.  I was always very active and past 5 years have been trying to get a small backyard nursery business established.  Working outside was my way of life and now all has extremely changed.  I thank my family for being there and just wish I could give support to them that they need also.  Any thoughts greatly appreciated.  Excellent doctors and care has been given and pulled me through with a lot of help from above.