Progression of Valve Disease

I have been complaining of a strange vibration that I can feel throughout my body for the past six years on this forum; to date i don't recall any cardiologist answering my queries. Recently i bought a stethescope and finally had a listen and i now understand why 20 doctors (and 3 cardiologists) have said i have no serious heart problems. But if so, why was i maintained on 120 mg Propranalol for six years -- for a 'palpitation'? Recently i ran out of Propranalol. I was down to 40 MG a day and no symptoms at all including no 'murmur' or vibration. But i flew from China to Canada twice in 2 months due to my Mom's deteriorating cancer prognosis and the second trip (25,000 km all told) i had to take care of all the funeral details because none of my Canadian-resident brothers (3) and sister-in-law could find the time. When the funeral was over i returned to China (work currently in a stressful environment where all colleagues are Chinese, since 2010). I was informed my job would be outsourced to Hungary (I work for HP Shanghai). This news was very stressful. But i was OK. In mid-May i suddenly began to feel the 'murmur' again and its associated (and frightening) vibration. It grew worse; so i increased the Propranalol from 40 mg a day as high as 200 mg a day and practically began to hallucinate when trying to sleep; but the symptoms just got more violent until i could literally feel a 'throbbing' through my torso and into my legs mainly. I then unfortunately ran out of Propranalol and could not get more for another 2 weeks. Without any medication, i began having major episodes of Afib which were quite frightening (rarely had them before and much milder). Again i ask, why am i on Propranalol at ALL if there is NO structural defect or evidence of disease? In 2005 when this all started in the UK, i had an Echo (and it took months to get and only on the private because the Government docs would do nothing for me) which showed only trivial mitral regurg. In 2009 in Singapore, a new Echo showed mild mitral and mild to moderate( i think) Tricuspid reflux. I took the doc's advice there was nothing serious and continued with propranalol. In China, today, i am back on the Propranalol but in the interim managed to get some Metroprolol which appears to work even better. The worst symptom is that i cannot sleep: when i try to sleep (regardless of position) just about when i am dropping off, the 'wub wub wub' sensation starts and builds to a crescendo; but if i lie absolutely still and don't panic (setting off a major episode of rapid heartbeats), the 'wobbling'/vibration actually tapers off completely. I am not certain what it is but is it possibly Afib? Can Afib start slowly and build? Would reducing the medication (currently 40 mg Propranalol and 50 mg of Metroprolol a day spread over 14 hours) help? I become suicidal when the vibration is worst; because i fear so many things: that it could be mitral reflux that is worsening (but for which i can't afford treatment and if i could, definitely do not want the risk of an early death due to unnecessary intervention); that it could be aortic stenosis (listening to the stehescope, i can hear a buzzing in the systolic it is like a RASPPP) or tricuspid reflux that has worsened. In either case i don't want to get another echo in case there is or is not something. If there is; i am screwed; and if there is not; i am screwed. To give utmost clarity i pray you can answer this: what type of condition would cause this specific 'symptom': on diastole, immediately after, there is a long 'pause' before the next systole. In that 'pause,' i feel the 'thrill' or wobble or vibration. In 2005 i did not feel the sensations as much as i do now (started with a slight buzzing above the left nipple); but to me, my heartbeat itself seems to have changed slightly and the changed was masked by the use of the Propranalol. The frightening Afib i had off Propranalol and then the major rumbling gurgling murmur (very hard to hear through the stethescope but palpable otherwise) i had without the Propranalol convinces me there is something wrong. But i don't know what! I am considering private insurance but i don't want to commit to it if there really is nothing progressively wrong with me. I plan to get a new Echo done but to get the best results i suspect i will need to stop the medication and it's frightening to not be on it. I also had some sharp twinging chest pain (apex area and to the right of this) when i was off the Propranalol. I really do not know what to do. I am the poster who has posted since 2005 and mentioned a penis enlarger. What i did not mention is that sometimes i also used stereo sound waves from an electrical speaker (stereo) connected to my private parts, sometimes. I never experienced cardiac symptoms that i was aware of but now i wonder if doing this sent the electricity (240 volts, not sure of the current but in the mA) into the heart's circuit and somehow disturbed it? If so, why did it take weeks to become palpable (literally) or perhaps it did not but the Propranalol hid the disturbed circuit? WILL IT GO AWAY? Is it possible that a mild electric shock/current can permanently alter the heart's rhythm? My rhythm is completely regular (need to get another ECG to be certain) but except for the strange 'delay' between systole and diastole, with the rumble (and what might be a heave and a thrill) in-between. Please can a compassionate and understanding experienced Cardiologist review my reply and help me? I don't know what is the best thing to do and fear i might die (i am 46) because i did not know what is the absolute best thing to do.