Question re: End Stage Heart Disease

[nikaja]

Hi-
My step mom has been told she has end stage heart disease today.  She has been in and out of the hospitals for a couple of months now.  She has an issue where her lungs are filling up with fluid (3-4 liters one time) and it keeps happening.  There is really nothing that can be done.  She is not a candidate for a transplant.  
My heart is breaking cause I live 500 miles away from my dad and wish I could be there to support him.   He's losing his lifemate of over 30 years.  
Can someone tell me what we can expect from here?  Does this diagnosis mean she will go quickly or will it be a drawn out thing?  I think they are meeting with the meds team tomorrow and she is comfortable.  I know she would want to die at home where she loves to be.  I'm just wondering-- well I'm not sure what I'm wondering.  Really couldn't find any info in relation to to this question and was hoping that someone who had some experience could shed some light.  
Thanks so much for listening and please pray for mom and dad.

[nikaja]

thanks so much for responding.  You are right.  The hardest part is the emotional part and the saying goodbye.  

[ireneo]

Morning, my Dad was in the same position. Back in Nov. 2006 he was told he was in end stage heart failure ( no surprise after 4 heart attacks ). The docs couldn't seem to get his meds balanced and his ICD kept firing off. They even started him on hospice care, that's how bad it was for him. They still kept adjusting his meds but that was all. Somehow things changed and he stabilized enough to be bumped off hospice care and lived till Aug. of this year. He finally died from cancer.

With his bad heart he just got weaker and more tired. Seemed all he had energy for was watching TV. His appetite went down to nothing. My Mom kept asking him what he wanted to eat and nothing sounded good to him. He was cold all the time (thus began the thermostat wars). He had oxygen at the house to help with his breathing. His ability to understand things and follow conversations went downhill. That was all part of the heart failure.

The thing to understand is those symptoms are beyond their control. They don't mean to be so dull and lethargic. They don't mean to get confused. It's hard to see the changes from the active person that took care of so much around the house to someone that can barely stay awake long enough to watch the news. The physical problems can be handled (especially if they get hospice nurses to come by the home like my Dad did). The hard part is the emotional side of things. It just isn't easy to say goodbye.