Christine,
Thank you for the questions. As a parent,I'm sorry to read of your ordeal.
I am not a pediatric cardiologist, but I will try to help in the ways in which I can.
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There is no evidence that physical activity leads to further damage to the valve, however, physical activity can lead to shortness of breath and fluid in the lungs in patients that have mitral regurgitation. If you are concerned that your son is continuing to have problems, then return to your cardiologist for another evaluation and discussion. If you have done this, and still feel that your son is not doing as well as he should, then seek another opinion.
His activity level needs to be defined by someone who has seen him. I certainly would be concerned about my child if I noticed that he/she was not keeping up with the other children. If this the case with you and your son, then seek another medical evaluation.
Hope that helps. Good luck.