Some of you may know me from some previous posts about my father who died of a heart attack, a ruptured acute MI, four weeks ago.
I am left still in shock, why 'ruptured?' I still don't have the coroner's report, I'm still assuming this rupture means that the heart muscle must have torn....and if it did then an original heart attack must have occured before this time.
My dad died on a monday. Just before he died he appeared to have pain in his stomach and it looked like some sort of pressure was building in his stomach. Just when i thought something would burst out, he sat quiet again. This all happened in seconds. Then he fell forward.
I believe now that this would have been at the point that a rupture occurred. It seemed the most likely point - it was also at the point that he passed out so it would make sense.
So this happened on a monday. I was aware that he had chronic indigestion all day on the sunday, for twelve hours (but no discomfort in the chest, only in the stomach). I have since heard that he was giving a doctor (friend) a lift in his car on the saturday and he 'wasn't himself' and the doctor offered to drive. Nonetheless it would seem that the doctor got out at his destination and my dad came home and told no one about this. I wasn't aware of him being ill on the saturday..I'm guessing he might have had a heart attack on the saturday with the doctor in the car, but it wasn't bad enough for the doctor to think it was anything....
then on the saturday the heart muscle must have started to deteriorate? hence the discomfort? and on the monday it ruptured? I won't know for sure until i get the coroner's report....and they don't rush these things by the looks of it.
that is what i'm guessing now with hindsight. Any thoughts?
I am just struck by how there was nothing we could do. If it ruptured then there is nothing you can do. I am wondering how far back we would need to go before any help or treatment would have worked.....immediately after the 'attack' on the saturday? but how if it didn't look like much of an attack? how would you know?
I am also wondering why the lady on the health helpline number i rang didn't tell me to get him to a doctor on the sunday night. I told her he'd had indigestion for 12 hours and that something seemed to be distending in his stomach. Although i agreed with her that all his symptoms seemed stomach related, didn't she know any better?....i mean i would know better now and i'm not a trained nurse.
I still don't know if dad had heart disease.....He was one of the fittest men of his age in the community. Always running about everywhere, always busy, reasonable weight....didn't eat chips or fatty foods....So it's hard for me to think that he was carrying heart disease around with him all that time and that it was just unknown. Or was this something that just happened?
I'm also wondering if my dad knew more than he let on. I hope not, but only he knows what happened in the car with the doctor on the saturday. If he knew something, why wouldn't he get help? He was going on holiday with me on the tuesday but he died on the monday. I hope he didn't keep it all to himself because he didn't want to spoil my holiday? Guys, why would a man not tell his family? That's if he knew of course.
I can't really tell you the mechanics of a ruptured MI. I'm sure others will. As far as did he know more than he let on, possibly.
I told you previously about my cousin who died of a ruptured MI while driving in a Super Truck Race a couple of months ago ( a nice video to his memory on his racing team's website, rioitracing.com, memories of Tony). I spoke to his parents a day or so ago and they had spoken to his cardiologist a few days before the race. I don't know what his symptoms were, but whatever he told his cardiologist was significant enough for him to want an angiogram scheduled that day. He wanted to do it the next week, after the race. Obviously a bad decision but it tells me he knew he had something going on, he just put off getting it taken care of.
We have all second guessed what we could have done. I know how you feel, it's hard to get over.
I hope you find peace with this, there just are no answers sometimes.
I will check out that website for definite and i will no doubt come back with comments. :-)
I'm all over the place with this.
Now i'm wondering whether anyone here thinks that my dad must have had heart disease?
The most likely explanation for a ruptured MI and coronary thrombosis would be heart disease that's gradually developed over time?
It would be a little more reassuring if i had a degree of certainty that this didn't 'just happen,' that it was building up over time and that maybe if dad had got checked out they might have foudn something years in advance of this happening.....
Another thing i noticed about dad was that he was developing a slight problem with his balance....he seemed to have problems walking around the coffee table that was in the middle of the living room. He said the room was like an assault course - yet my mum and I didn't find this. He also had arthiritis. He also had a metal plate in his leg from a car accident.
Could the plate have contributed to the heart disease?
Could the balance problems and the arthiritis be warning signs of heart disease?
If it's something that develops over time then hopefully the doctors can spot it, either with cholesterol checks, stress test, etc. Thing is my doctor thinks i'm over anxious.
Maybe i am.
I don't care.
I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO MY DAD TWO YEARS AGO. I was at a concert with a friend and i kept getting this intrusive thought of my dad dying. I attributed it to guilt because he worked so hard and i was out enjoying myself....but i was still always worried about him.
The night i rang the medical helpline my mum told me i worry too much!
Anyway i'm going on again.
Thanks for listening, anyone who did. Jon i will check out that website i promise! :-)
The racing looked fun! My screen froze halfway through so i will go back later.
My thoughts are that he must have really loved racing, at least he was doing something he loved.
I know that probably doesn't help much, but i guess it's the small things like this that we have to remember. They wouldn't want us to be distraught, they would want us to look at the good things. Easier said than done but we can do it. :-)
Thanks for looking at the video, it was taken the morning he died. That's actually him at the wheel at the start of the race. Hard to believe he was dead just a few hours after those images were taken.
Really a sad thing, he went to the cardiologist on Tuesday before the race on Thursday and we still don't know what was said, only that his doctor wanted him to go for an angiogram which he put off so he could race. A real shame, he was a great friend, father & friend.
I had another look tonight because the film froze last night. I also saw another set of pictures 'Riot Remembers Tony Sorensen,' or something like that. If that's him in the pictures he looks like such a great guy. I can imagine what a great person he was. it always happens to the good guys.
and what comes to mind is that he was doing something he loved and he was living, not sat at home bored. That is a good thing although i know at this time it's not much comfort.
Wierd because i often called my dad to the computer to look at stuff (i was often at his house on his computer because he only lived 5 mins away).....and when i was looking at the racing I nearly called to dad to tell him to come and look, until i remembered.... My dad had a big heart. He would have looked at those pictures and been choked up, even though he didn't know you or Tony. That's how he was. He was too good for this world in some ways.
My dad ran his own taxi company. So although he didn't race he was someone always behind the wheel of a car. So many people turned up at his funeral from our community -people i didn't even know. They were all his customers. Most of his customers saw him as a friend. He was one of those people that everyone liked. He brought out the best in others. He was always smiling and that is what everyone remembers him for.
We won't forget them Jon! Take care and remember they would want us to carry on living life to the full. I will try. :-)
Yup, that was him. The owner of the race team did a nice job with it. It was ironic, the owner usually drove but he was sick that day and let Tony do the driving and his son was his co-driver that day. Towards the end there's a picture of Tony behind the wheel talking to his son in the co-driver seat just before they left the starting area, he died two hours later, really a special but sad picture.
Sounds like your father was a special man as well. Too bad that bad things happen to good people and the ones they leave behind. But you are right, we won't forget them, will we? I guess that's what's important.
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