am goona die

[sonia_ji]

I M 19 YEARS OLD
I M DOIN SOFTWARE ENGG
abt 8 months ago.i suddenly felt pain in my left arm.....then my heart beat increased........my sis took me to hospital...i had ecg.but there was nothing.....................those very terriable and horrible days 4 me.................then a well known cardiologist suggested me some tests.....ecg,echo,holter,cbc.....all were perfact.........then i went to neurologist..he said this is muscles weekness........i took many anxiety killers..but no 1 is affected
every 1 says this is anxiety..but now i always feel pain in my heart.........tinglings in head,,,,,,,,,,,pain in left arm...........difficulty in breathin when i respire .......my heart beat get slows......i m not able to concentrate on my projects and studies........i think i will die in some days............my parents r not alive................i always think abt them........there is no way 4 me to forget their sudden death in front of me......coz of dis heart pain imm not able to do any thing......when ever i feel pain in my heart i fell as blood is travelling from my heart to head..........wat shud i do...plz help me.................i m depressed...i think i shud commit sucide................there is no other way to get rid of this

[CCF-M.D.-MJM]

Hi Sonia,

I am very sorry you are having such a hard time right now.  You did the right thing by going to the doctor about your chest pains.  The good news is the tests were negative and there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with your heart.  If you doubt this conclusion, I urge you to seek a second opinion for reassurrance.  Anxiety and depression can look and feel just like a heart attack, but one key difference is that with anxiety, the pain can be constant and even get worse with rest (when you are thinking about your problems or fears).  This is different from heart disease chest pain that usually worsen with activity.

Conversation about these matters are always much easier face to face.  I can tell from your letter that you are a rational person that is very frustrated and you need some help.  You wouldn't have written this post if you didn't want help and you are taking positive steps to getting help by asking for it.  I want to be very clear -- if you are thinking about hurting yourself, you should either ask your sister to take you to the hospital or call 911 for help.  It sounds like you need to talk to someone to work this out.

The easiest thing for physicians to do is to give medications.  Sometimes the right thing to do is listen.  It is difficult to say to be definitive from a post, but sounds like you are depressed and possibly have a post-traumatic stress like disorder  from your parents death.  I PROMISE YOU ARE NOT ALONE --although I am also sure that you feel that you are.  This can be treated and you can get better, back to your old self or better.  But you have to take the first steps by seeking help.  

Please seek help if you are serious about hurting yourself.  
I wish you all the best and please let us know how you are doing.

[yellowrose]

plz dont think of hurting your self, it will get better all your test show your ok, i started having mine at 19 but not bad than at 23 it came on full force, not a day went by that my heart didnt beat funny, skip beats or pound and race, it is very very scarey but not worth taking your life your so young and belive me it will get better , i let mine take over my life to but i had two kids by 21 so i had to get it together , once i really learned it was not going to kill me i learn to live with it and than it started getting better , i do take pills to help with it but at times the pills do nothing at all so am back to the scared and living day to day with pvc/pac. i also have the tingling in my head and my arms , my face and ears but its from  anxiety and its worse when i sit around and think about my heart. so plz try and do things and try not think about it. if your not happy with what dr said go to another one , sometimes if the dr says same thing first dr said you will start to see your ok. dont give up, they will not kill you only take your life to nothing if you let them, dont let them you have lots years in frint of you . God Bless You i will pray for you . barbara

[NanaRose]

I am not a doctor but will share with you what I went through when my dad suddenly died of a heart attack when I was a youngter.  My life was wonderful up until then as my father and I were very close. We planted our gardens together and would take long walks to the park and feed the ducks. My Dad was my whole life.

I started having chest pains (12 years old), my stomach was killing me every single day.  I could not eat anything less it would cause severe stomach pains.  I was always sickly with colds and sore throats.  My knees started hurting me and I could not walk.  And, from the time my Dad died, I dreamt about him every single night and would sleep walk to my closet and wake up in the closet, clinging to garments on a rack.  I developed OCD (obsessive compulsive disorders).  I was literally a wreck.

I had no one to talk with (40 years ago)and felt isolated and alone. Today, there is help available. Sonia,  You need someone to talk with and perferably a professional councelor. You need this now!

Looking back, I was suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. With your heart tests showing no heart disease, you may be suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Like I did. This disorder can manifest many mnay physical ailments.

With the deaths of your parents, you have been through a lot.

Please seek help.  It will and does get better but it takes time. Look to the future for that time.  It will come and PLEASE do not give up.   I didn't give up.

I have a wonderful family now and three beautiful grandchildren that I cherish.  Life will get better, I know.  I am a survivor and you can be a survivor, also.

God Bless You.

[momto3girls]

You poor thing, please do not do anything to hurt yourself.  Obviously you are suffering a great deal for the loss of your parents.  It is very normal to be upset and sad and feel at a loss.  There are many, many places to help you with your grieving, please take advantage of them.  You are young and have your whole life ahead of you.  I am so very sorry for the pain you are going through.  It made me so sad to read what you wrote.  Please seek some help for your depression.  It is out there for you, and will help too.  

It is great news that your heart tests are normal.  Focus on that and try to get some help for your depression.  I do not know if you are religious, but I am praying for you, right now!  Please, please take care of yourself.  Taking your own life is not the answer.  

When I was your age in college, I too had the same weird heart sensations.  Well, 12 years later and I'm still here (:  Your heart sounds normal and that is so wonderful.  Life is ahead of you!  Please take Nana Rose's advice too, seek some help for yourself.  Take care (:

mom to 3 girls

[cristabelle]

Dear Sonia,
Please do not harm yourself.  I am sorry you are feeling this way.  Would you please call the Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433 and talk to a caring individual???

We are sorry about your health issues, however, we believe you can get some help, and your health issues may be causing you too feel this way, as a few folks here have said already.

Please don't give up.  You are needed.

Thank you,
Cristabelle

[ihatepvc's]

Many of us on this site have had weird heartbeats for twenty to thirty years and we are still here to talk about it. What you need to do is ask for help. You should ask the cardiologist if you can get a monitor that you can wear for a month and that should pick up any abnormal hearbeats, since it sounds like they missed it. In the meantime, I would ask for anti-anxiety medication to help you get through this A.S.A.P.! They work wonders for many people, myself included when my heart really acts up. You've been through a tough time and we all need help now and then. Good luck to you and don't forget that everyone feels like this sometimes - that life will not get better, but it always does! Hang in there.

[Fran71]

Dearest Sonia,
there are times in our lives when we feel we're living in hell, and it will never get better. Most of the time however, it does get better, though it seems impossible when we're as desperate and scared as you are right now. When I was about your age I fell into a similar depression as yours, triggered by a health problem which wasn't that serious after all. I too thought I was going to die. When someone said to me: "Bye-bye see you tomorrow" I would almost cry and think that I probably wouldn't live that long...I survived that period, and I had tons of wonderful days after that, of course also many bad days, but so this is life.
I'm 35 and 3 years ago my Dad had a heart attack. He didn't die, but I realized how terrible it will be to lose him and my Mom when it happens. And I'm 35!!! My heart goes out to you, to NanaRose and to those who have lost a parent in childhood. After my Dad's heart attack I developed my PVCs. They had never been that bad before that. The night he was in intensive care and I was told he had to make it through the night to be sure he'd survive, I lay awake and felt a strange sensation in my chest. I described it to myself like this: "My heart has broken"...
Though I'm 35 I still don't know how I will manage to carry on after my parents are gone. However I see people do carry on after big losses. I will find a way too. You too, dear, can find a way, though now it seems impossible to you.
If you'd like to chat with an old lady :-))) my email is
***@****

Love and take care

Fran - Italy

[momto3girls]

Dear Sonia,

Please let us all know how you are doing by posting again.  We are concerned about you very much. You are not alone.  Please write back so that we know you are alright.  Sincerely, mom to 3 girls (:

[mr_johnnyy]

hey

i have been suffering form heart palpitations for the last 2 yrs. I am becoming quite paranoid the more it happens espiecly over the last 6 months. since i am only 18 it worries me alot since i am only young but really freaks me out when they happen 5 times in a row non-stop without a break, it is causing me to lose alot of sleep and i am begining to lose large amounts of wieght in such little time. latly when i have them they happen about 5-6 times a day somtime collapsing unconsious on the ground. but today they were appearing every five minutes.
WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO :( , i dont if im dying or if ill be fine having so often and so close together

thank you for your help :)

[bunngeon]

you arent going to die. i thought i was too. i have the same symtoms that u do.
its called panic disorder. it feels like a heart attack. look it up.