endocarditis and palpitation

Hello

I am a 26 yr old female.  I had infectious endocarditis almost 4 yrs ago, this in turn left a vegetaton on my heart valve.  Recently I have had 3 episodes in 2 months of heart palpitations lasting for a min. or longer.  Ive never experienced them to that degree before.  Occassionally since I was about 21 i would feel a flutter sometimes that took my breath away, but always so far apart i would forget about it after it happened.  
       The first time this occured I wasnt anxious, stressed...etc...it just started out like a flutter and I stood up real quick (as a reflex of mine) and it just didnt stop like it had in the past.  I felt like I was going to pass out and saw spots...my hearing even seemed different!  Also when it happens it feels like a continual skipping of beats..really fast (definetly doesnt seem like blood is going to right spots with the way its pumping.)   Now since that first one...and proceeding others I have panic attacks and severe anxiety..(but Im sure the palps came first)...I live in fear of the next episode.  Do you think the vegetaion on my heart valve is all of the sudden dysfunctioning.  Also im afraid that one of these episodes is going to break the veg. off( i might sound silly)...but I just wonder how intact it really is it.  i havent been to the doctor in a long time ...as of now Im waitng for health ins. to kick in.  I dont want to go because Im afraid if there is something wrong Ill get turned down for ins.
I have a changed a few things in my life style such as no caffiene!!!!!!  I drink water all day everyday...and always have one in my hand thinking its a helpful antidote to my episodes (doesnt always work though)  What do you think!!!!!!!!
thank you very much for your time!!!!!