what happens now?

i have dilated cardiomyathy (don't know why), heart failure, left bundle branch block, ef at latest angiogram was at 10%, minor mitral valve and tricuspid valve regurgitation and now have episodes of v-tach and had a-fib.  i have had a biventricular pacemaker/icd since 2004 and am taking coreg, digoxin, lisinopril, coumadin, lasix and spironlactone.  i am on maximum therapy for coreg and lisinopril and my coumadin was just upped.
the a-fib, v-tach is new since 9/28/07.  i spent the last 4 years in relative denial of any serious issues, but now i am scared.  i understand that the icd is there to save me from sudden cardiac arrest.  it did just that in september.    
what happens now?  does it get worse?  when is the time to consider asking my cardio if i am a candidate for a heart transplant or is that even an answer?  my brain and the rest of my body, thank God (i think) have decided that they are entirely separate from my heart and so it is hard for me to know which direction i should go.  do i become an invalid from a heart standpoint or do i expect that my heart should find a way to keep up?  i am 55 years old and have made some minor changes in what i do because of shortness of breath, etc. but i feel that if i cannot live the way that i want to and do the things that i wish to do, then what is the purpose?  maybe live a little bit longer and be miserable?  
up until today when i had my pacer interrogated, i have been able to fight any amount of depression or woe is me out of my life.  i think reality has just begun to sink in.

thank you
evie  

[vienna13]

It seems you are depressed a little, but who wouldn’t be. The good thing is you are on coreg the best available beta blocker for cardiomiopathy. You must do your part now I know easier to tell then do. But it can be done.It is good you know you were in denial.Now time to act right. You might need that transplant ,and don’t give up to get on the list, but until you must do all with your POWER ,all the changes so that you feel better about yourself and the situation you are in, and if you try hard to feel better, believe me that itself will help a little. Believing in yourself is important.
Eating right, very low sodium. Around 1600 my, calculating it important and fun!! Exercise, even if limited you can do with low EF. Walk !
Do something for yourself every day what you really enjoy. Things that you always felt you have no time for. Now it is the time . Life is not over jet. Treat yourself well but RIGHT!

[vienna13]

1600 mg per day