Hi, this is my first post here. This is my story.
I changed schools in 8th grade from a school which i loved and still do today. I had so many good fantastic friends there all from good families. It was a privae school. Then i went to another private school. Here my parents said you better do good, this is the most important years of your life and this and that. So being a god student i did great with all the good stuff 4.2-4.3 GPA, etc. Basketball has always been my game. I have alway been good at it. I used to be the best player at my old school but once i moved to this large school I felt intimidated. Like news was around that this great basketball player student is coming and stuff like that. When i went to the school I was like a nerd, I was just studying and didnt join the basketball team. After that year in 9th grade at my new school I had all honor classes and in one day in a very fierce and notorious teachers class which you cannot get out of for any reason i had a panic attack. After this attack I have been on a battle. A daily one. Everyday for 180 days at school i took the pain of fearing another anxiety attack coming. It was just amazing how i completed the year. It was hard but i pulled through which is truly amazing. Sweaty palms ever day and my hypochondriasis kicking in with a new creative idea every day it is so amazing how I pulled through with only being abscent one day because i was sick. As you see I am extremely determined. After 3 months from my panic attack i started to get chest pains on both sides of my chest then it singled out to just my left. I saw a cardiologist he did and EKG everything fine. Then it was good good at got better and it was uner control. Then it just exploded after i stopped seeing a psychologist(i never will use any medication) it got very bad and i had to go see a psychologist again. Then i stopped again because i dont like the whole fact of seeing a psychologist it is degrading to me(just my opinion). After that it got to its peak which it is at right now. I have joined the team and have made it. I am a good basketball player and after all that stress and anxiety i still retain a 4.3 GPA. The problem now is that I cant get my head off my heart. I just feel i need so many answers. Like does this all add up? WHat is causing it like never used drugs, no coffee, I am just probably the most determined human being you would know. I do everything play guitar, basketball, study. Some people look up to me (i am sure a lot) but like anxiety. I pretty much know as much about the heart and its conditions more than a cardiologist. Like HCM, this scares me a ton. I have also been to another cardiologist and had an EKG and an ultrasound of the heart done but i am more worried than ever. Athletes dying all of a sudden for no reason. Like i dont have any heart problems but like I am worried so much my heart beats fast sometimes so like could it take all this exertion. I am very skinny like 5'8" and 115 pounds but like is it rational that i worry so much. And have also some bad habits like i touch my chest to relax me. So my hand is always next to my heart. I also panic and like today at practice for basketball after running i felt like fainting even though i didnt. Like i dont know is anxiety that powerful that it can make u feel like fainting even if you are in good shape. I need answers, its a very long question but i would like to hear people relate to me and explain some things. Just some advice and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME.