Hey guys. I am sure this is not going to be an upbeat post. I feel as though I am losing it, I mean truly. My faith, my strength, my power to overcome. I am so DEPRESSED I feel like all I can do is sleep. I want my heart to be normal but to us on here what is that? I get my monitor tomorrow. I am not thrilled about wearing it for a month and having to wait and be aggravated with this for a whole other month. I am worried that when I make a recording and call it in that they are going to send me packing to the ER and that would scare the **** right out of me. I wore one before but everything was okay. They never sent me. Now my heart is having more frequent ones than before the ablation but it is making me insane because I am worried it might be something that can't be fixed and I am going to be stuck feeling this way right on. If that was so I don't know how long I could put up with it,My compassion for life is great, but my inabilities to do anything but sit is really getting me down. I didn't take my meds last night I fell asleep and they couldn't get me awake long enough to shove it down me but when I woke up I felt good. No extra beats no skips. So I thought I won't take my morning dose either and just see if I can piece it together, That lasted until about 3 and they started, So I took 50 mgs instead of 100. ATENOLOL.That seemed to be okay but around 5 they were running wild. I started getting scared and started getting deeper and deeper breaths until I worked myself into one big mess. I am having them as I write but one about every 6 beat. I am wondering if my meds could be causing the severity of them. Does anyone know if the Beta Blocker could make them worse, I also take Xanax but if I didn't take it I would be crazy. I need some advice. I haven't researched my meds but there is a phamacist here that works with your meds and helps you see what works for you and against you. I know I am grabbing at straws. I want to call my doc and say I need help now, I can't wait another month. I guess she is doing all that I will allow her, I refused a stress test and an echo because of my experience before. I had both and was told my heart was A-OK and 2 weeks later landed in the ER 3 times in one day and ICU and then whisked off to the Cath lab for an ablation(Emergency). I think that they are basically unreliable. I want to keep the FAITH and be strong but my mind is not allowing me to do that right now. I want peace again. My family is planning a trip to the beach but if I feel like I do now I won't be going. I am to scared to go that far from home. Everyone please keep me in your prayers. I am scared of doing something foolish. I am a religious person but I am having bad thoughts. I know I need help.. It is the not knowing that is making me crazy, Any advice or thoughts on my prob will be appreciated.
Sorry to hear that your having such a bad day. I've been there and it's not easy.
I hate to say so, but most of the beta's I tried just about tripled my PVC's.
I believe I'm one of those people that get increased pvc's and nsvt with a lower HR. When my IST is acting up, my pvc's lower by about half. A good day for me would be around 10,000.
Have you tried Sectal yet? It's a beta blocker that has intrinsic sympathomimetic activity, which means it actually speeds your heart up a bit. It still blocks the adrenaline, lowers blood pressure and helps the heart beat more effectively, but it won't lower your hr too much. Sectral also has years of research behind it showing that it actually reduces pvcs, helps reduce multiform pvc's, as well as helping prevent nsvt in most patients.
Most doctors don't prescribe it because it's an older drug and newer drugs get all the kick-backs. If you haven't tried it, why not suggest it to your doc and give it a try?
Don't give up, this too shall come to pass (as they say). One thing that helps me is to get mad about it. I walk around saying things like, come on, show me what you've got, or rolling my eyes at the big runs and thinking, yeah, that's right, it's still beating isn't it?!
I know it sounds crazy, but really, taking the fear out of the nasty buggers really brings about alittle peace and helps reduce them in the long run.
Please do not do anything foolish. Karen, think about it...you are afraid of death and at the same time considering it. I know how you are feeling, believe me, I have been exactly where you are right now. Sometimes I felt that if I would just die and get it over with, at least I would not be terrorized, I know that is what you must be feeling. Take the tests Karen. Whatever they find they can treat. It might mean another ablation, but you will be fine. The strangest thing is, I have had to just accept that I might drop over and die, then I had to try to get over the fear of actually dying. I just tell myself the worst thing that can happen is if I drop over dead. Then I had to find some faith and realize that if that happened, I would be safe in the hands of God. I have a good email I'm gonna send to you. Read it and I hope you feel more peaceful after reading it. Hang in there. Celeste is right. This too shall pass.
I to know what it's like to feel like you are at the end of your rope. But trust me when I say there is light at the end of the tunnel. Do whatever you need to do to get through this, whether it's getting mad, praying or having a good cry from the sheer frustration of it all. Once you have done that... pick yourself up, put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Do the tests she recommends you have done, you may not feel they are 100% accurate but they are a "marker" of what's going on and what can be done to fix it.
I am so feeling the same way u are....I feel like I will never be me again....I know that I am doing a lot of this to myself...but...how do I stop? I am going to ask the Dr to change my depression/anxiety meds...see if that helps...I sure hope so...
I hope all goes well tomorrow for u Karen and me also...I do pray each night that both of us will receive peace...
May I ask why u had to have the first ablation...was it just for PVC's and why did u end up in ICU...If I am being too nosey...please tell me so...
I do think of u often my friend and u are in my prayers...God Bless...Love ya...*Huggs*
I am pretty new here, but just wanted to say I so feel your pain! I haven't had these but maybe 8 noticeable months, but they do wreak havoc on a person and make them think is ways they never thought they would.
My last Holter a week ago showed 4,280 in ONE DAY! That's a lot and it was very hard for me to handle. I would cry my eyes out while my husband looked at me like I was nuts. he tries to reassure me, but unless you actually feel them and go through these on a day to day basis, it's easy for someone else to say, "Just ignore them." If it were that easy, I would and I am TRYING so HARD to do just that.
Today I started getting some bad ones about 1:00, after waking up with only a few. I immediately thought, oh my goodness here they go again and panic rushed in. Then I said, the heck with this ****! I am not going to let these get me down for the rest of the day. I know if I start panicking and crying (SO HARD NOT TO THOUGH) I will get even more and the cycle will continue for days and days as more adrenaline pumps through me. Then it takes that much longer to settle them down again.
Just repeat to yourself over and over what the Dr's have told you, and others on this board.
1. PVC's are scary but they are in no way dangerous!!!!
2. Everyone gets PVC's, but not everyone FEELS them, like we do. Sucks I know!
3. You have been through these before and are still here and you will still be here for a VERY LONG TIME!!!
4. These feelings are no different than what I have had before, so I can get through them again!
5. YOU WILL BE OKAY and one day these will again burn themselves out!
I can tell you are having a rough evening and I am very sorry! My husband is taking Thursday and Friday off (since my daughter is on Spring break from school, she is in 1st grade) and he was asking me what I wanted to do... he mentioned going out of town.
My first reaction was that I was scared to leave home and be away from the hospital in case something happened and my heart really got outta whack. but then I thought about it and told myself, I am not going to let these ruin my life and the FUN I could be having!
remember that most BAD things we have thought about, NEVER HAS HAPPENED!
I have to go right now as I have to make dinner, but I wanted you to know you are so not alone and that I do, too care, even if I don't know you that well yet.
As you knew already, you have alot of friends who care about you!!! I have been where you are ...and back. Do you have any funny movies readily available? Do you find comfort in the scriptures? I have resorted to screaming fits into my pillow-works pretty good,too. Please, please, please hang in there. Do what all the girls here have said, and you will get past this! You'll be coaching each of us out of OUR next "hole"! I'm so sorry, though, that you are feeling such misery right now. I'm asking the Lord to especially keep YOU in HIS watchcare tonight. Remember- He's the Good Shepard and we are His sheep. He is with you, Sunshine.
Your life sounds like mine. I've been having palpitations for over 20 years. I believe thats why I developed Panic Disorder. I've been on Atenolol for 18 years. I also take Xanax when I need it, which is alot lately. It seems like the older I get the worse this condition gets. I know it does not help to worry. That just makes it worse. I know it helps me just to have someone to talk to who is understanding.
I have psvt and a realtive of mine developed similar symptoms last year. I suggested she go to a cardiologist which she did and he determined that Xanex was her culprit. After taking Xanex for a short period of time some people go through a withdraw and those sympstoms feel just like svt. She stopped taking the Xanex and never had another problem.
Well...I went for my 2nd opinion today...was told the same thing...it is NOTHING and don't worry...Soooooo...I am making me an apt with a psychiatrist tomorrow...My blood pressure was even up today in his office...my bp is NEVER high...lol...I had worked myself into a huge fit...today was bad...really bad...Please let me know if u got your monitor today....Much love and *Huggss*.....
I am so sorry that you are having a bad spell. It is really hard to live with this condition. And even though I don't have the same exact symptoms you have I know how it feels to be SO depressed rtht you just sit and cry and you feel like your faith has left you. You know what you believe and you WANT to have faith, you want to lean on God, but it is so VERY hard. We pray and pray and as soon as we think "ah, I have finally been healed, the Lord has heard my cry" it comes back with a vengance! I tell you Karen, it's a rough journey but obviously he KNEW that you could handle it "he doesn't give you more then you can bear." I am not trying to sound preachy and I hope I'm not coming off that way, but I just want you to know that God WILL make a way for you. Please, please don't give up. I know it may seem like you are at the end of the rope, but keep the faith and you are GOING to be blessed. Karen, I am talking to you as much (really more) as I am talking to myself.
I really hope you are feeling better and I hope you can find that peace that only He can give you.
To all that responded to my post I really appreciate it. You know that your alls friendship and support means to much to me. I say I feel like giving up but God won't allow me too. He is my rock. I call on him daily and I know that he is not pleased that I am thinking bad thoughts. I know that things will work out. I do have faith but sometimes I have to remind myself that I can survive. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need all that I can get. I got my monitor today and it is diff, from the one I wore before. This one I just put up to my chest with no leads. That is awesome because the pads blister me. It scares me to think of using it though. They did a reading at the docs this morning but I haven't used it anymore today because I haven't felt anything diff. I will keep you guys posted. I want to be better. I really do. I know I may have to live with it but it will be hard. Today the guy that fixed me up with the monitor told me that ablations were short lived. I was shocked. I am confused because I was told that mine was 98 to 99percent successful. Oh well we will see. Thanks again everybody for your warm friendship and concern.
Big hugs from me to you guys and may God Bless you all
I'm going through the same thing...I have PAC's. I've had 24-hour monitors, event monitors, emergency room visits, hospital stays, etc. They always tell me it's nothing to worry about...they are benign. I had quite a bout of them last summer and ended up calling 911. Spent a day in the hospital and they did every test under the sun. Of course, I was fine. Went several months with just a few a day, then a month ago, they started coming frequently...several an hour. More in morning and much more when I'm lying in bed trying to get some sleep. I, too, am so tired of these. I'm afraid to exercise because I'm afraid of increasing my heart rate.
I'm on 25 mg of Atenolol (I take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at bedtime). I also take 10 mg. Paxil 1x day and Ativan, as needed.
I don't want to be afraid anymore...it just takes the joy out of life.
Try having in the10's of thousands a day!!! They are so debiltating I can not hardly function, I am currently on a loop monitor and have had ablation procedure but my heart felt that it needed to do it's own thing. So I am trying not to be scared but I can't help it.It is my heart. It scares the **** right out of me.I take 200mgs of Atenolol a day plus 8 mgs. of Xanax and now Pozac. I hate so many meds, I have to have them to survive, Or I feel I do. I don't want to be afraid either. It does take all the fun out your life. I can't even be intimate with my hubby in fear what might happen. I am trying to keep the faith. It is hard but I have a lot of people on here supporting me. Good luck and I hope that you ffind peace. God Bless you everyone on here is so kind about listening.
First of all, if you ever getting so scared that you feel as though you are going to harm yourself do NOT be afraid to seek out counselling to help you work this out. There are excellent counsellers and therapists out there who can help you and never be afraid to seek help.
I KNOW that this is SO fustrating...I have lived with these things for 25 years...yes you read that right...and I have to say that I feel like there are cases where the cycle CAN be broken. I am arecent case of that.
As Celeste, Artaud and a lot of other posters know, I have had a MISERABLE 8 months or so with PVCs in the hundreds or thousands daily. There were times when I literally wanted to scream out loud or jump out of my skin. I could not function well at work or home.
The low point for me was a family trip to Disney in January where I spent many days feeling my pulse. I was unable to sleep at all on the trip (combination different beds/PVCs/uncomfortable) and the night we got back i was EXHAUSTED. I just passed out asleep, PVCs or not. Because I had off the next day, I slept 11 hours straight...I can't REMEMBER the last time I was able to do that. Well don't you know that the next day I did not have one PVC. So I finally felt like I had ONE thing that I could do to stop the damn things...sleep 11 hours...now since then I haven't slept 11 hours straight again but I always have had in the back of my head that I DO have a way out.]
I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT EVER SINCE THEN, I HAVE BEEN FEELING MUCH MUCH BETTER WITH MANY DAYS WITH ZERO PVCS. I REALLY FEEL THAT AT LEAST FOR SOME OF US, THE KEY IS TO GET A FEELING OF CONTROL AT LEAST FOR ONE DAY AND THEN BREAK THE DAMN CYCLE.
I KNOW FOR a fact that these PVCs go in cycles at least for some of us and if you can break the cycle EVEN FOR ONE DAY it can be a springboard. My cardio is very supportive and he frimly agrees that a bad cycle can be broken. He calls it "getting the PVCs to calm down."
I KNOW WE ALL HAVE FAMILIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES BUT YOU OWE IT TO YOUR FAMILY AND MOST OF ALL TO YOURSELF TO TAKE AS MANY days as it takes and, if necessary, DO NOTHING UNTIL YOU FEEL GOOD ONE DAY.
This may sound crazy or stupid but it has worked for me for over a month and I'm sticking with it. If I ever have a day again where I get thousands of the things, I will come home from work, take a hot bath, curl up with a good book, and let my wife and kids fend for themselves...they'll survive and I'll be a better husband/father/provider for them the next day for it. They need a sane husband/father.
Hi Karen- my name is jlyrse2002- just read your message and I too am a christian and now I have just added you to my prayer list! I ran across Medhelp by searching for some answers about a recent lumbar sprain I have had this month- so I decided to join this site- I like it and didn't even know it existed- I feel like God led me to this site good reasons. I too- along with my back problems- have a heart problem and am taking a heart medicine 2x a day! If I get stressed or overworked then my heart palpatations and heart pains come back. I had to go on a heart pill in 2004 again after having been on them for what was mitral valve prolaspe then and my heart palpatations had started because I was pregnant with my twins! I then after they were born- the doctor discontinued my heart medication altogether. I discovered that when I had the first stress tests in 2004 that I should never have been taking off of the heart medication after my twins were born. I had heart pains and heart racing from 1987-2004 off and on. Never knew the reason at that time- til my blood pressure became a problem and my heart palpations got worse when I was working at a hospital in 2004 and lifting patients and working long hours. This was when I was referred to a good cardiologist- and he ordered me alot of tests- then they decided with my blood pressure going wild, and having heart pain and palpatations and short of breath it was time to put me back on the heart medications. Unfortunately, I had to pray about my health and rather I should continue working at the hospital- my family and I decided it would be best for me to resign and get an easier job. I am a certified nurse assistant and I love helping people and I find it a rewarding career for me! I took a little time off after I resigned from the hospital and I just celebrated on February 11th 2008 my one year anniversary in my new homehealth job at Comfort Keepers which is alot easier for me and not as hard as a nursing home or hospital job. I was not ready to apply for disability and fought the thought and had prayed for an easier job and still in healthcare! God blessed me with the homehealth job. Anyway, I can understand your situation- and now my prayers and heart go out to you Karen!! I hope and pray your health gets better- As I have read from others- it would benefit you to know what exactly is wrong with your heart and even ease your mind if you go ahead Karen and have your tests! That way you will know- My doctor and children had told me if I took the stress tests then theywould know just how to treat me or what to do. I took the 1st stress tests in 2005 and ot showed the doctors that putting me on the heart medicines would help me and in september 2007 I took another stress test and did 80% which the doctor was pleased because they were only expecting for me to do 70%- I firmly believe now that me being on the heart medicine for the past 2 years and 3 months now this helped me! I even wore a holter while I worked one day! lol- I figured that if I was moving around and working that if the heart problem was worse then it would have shown it rather I worked or not. I camoflaged wearing it with a looser shirt - cause my clients couldn't know - you know confidentiality and the hippa law- so my client never even guessed it. lol- Karen, I am inviting you to be my friend if you would like- in the mean time I said a prayer for you and your health and I hope you decide to go ahead and get the medical care you need- God is with you Karen and will watch over you so lean on Him!!!!! I did and still do and so glad I have God in my life!!!!!! Sincerely, jlyrse2002
I’m sorry that you keep feeling like you are going down the slippery slope. When I too was having what you so quaintly call “bad thoughts”, you were there, along with a bunch of other truly incredible people on this forum to help me through.
I get the impression that you have become depressed, the real and proper chemical imbalance of the brain depressed, and I think that is something you need to deal with urgently. Taking Xanax is fine for when you feel you are about to lose it, but you need something which is going to rebalance the hormones in your brain (dopamine I think it is), once that starts working you should be brought out of this deep and serious funk you find yourself in. Please consider this and see your GP very soon. There are anti-depressants which don’t affect your heart. Don’t know if you can give brand names, but I take Cymbalta and oddly enough it seems to slow my rate down. I also have lots less incidents of heart-block when I’m on it. I don’t take it for depression, I take it for diabetic neuropathy, and also for the positive effects it has on pain caused by tension, and I really find it one of the better meds I’ve taken. Your doc will know based on your medical history which would be best for you.
Karen, remember that as hard as things get, you are a very strong woman. I suspect the reason you are considering suicide – lets not mince our words here – is because of the depression. As you know I was as down as you are, and some days I still get pretty close to it, but somehow something always snaps me out of it. Are you artistic? If you are why not ask someone to bring you an artists pad and some pastels or oils, and just paint something which makes you think of good times, a beach scene, your back-yard, your family, an animal from your past which has brought joy.
Sadly I am not artistic, but when I get really down, I get my Killer Sudoku book out and just withdraw from the world and do my Sudoku. It’s total escapism, and you feel so good when you finish one, it’s a big achievement when you get the really hard ones out. You need to get “into” something to help you lift your mood. I don’t know what else to suggest.
Keep your faith up Karen, you will be in my prayers, I’ll come back soon to see how you are doing. Unfortunately if this thread becomes all about religion and letting God do his thing, I’ll start e-mailing you directly. I have renewed my relationship with God but I feel some of these threads are becoming too religious. Don’t get offended, you know my feelings on faith and God, both are important to me, but I’d rather deal with issues in a way that lets us help one another, we don’t want to read more about people’s faith in God than about what is going on with them.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Karen, I think about you each day. You are going to get through this just like I do – one day at a time, sometimes even one hour at a time.
Well not being too well. I am making it though. I apoogize about the thread. There are a lot of God speaking christians especailly in the south. If you want please do email me. I draw my strength from God and so I can not ask people not to speak to me about the Lord. I am a big believer but I hope that you will not hold that against our friendship. I respect your religion and would never push mine on you in any shape form or fashion. I love hearing from you and your stories so if you feel more comfortable emailing me that will be great. How have you been? How about the marriage? MY father-in-law had a heart attack last night and they are doing a heart cath this morning so I am on my way there. I hope that you have a wonderful day. As the days pass hopefully things will start to improve. Well I guess I will go take my new drug they gave me. PROZAC!! I am going to give it a try. Love you girl and give that baby boy a hug from me. Talk soon.
I have been right where you are and I can relate to everything that you are saying and feeling. I have had these skippidies since I was 14 years old and have continued to have them all of my life. I have been on several different meds. and they work great for awhile and them they stop working. I have never had an ablation, but my dad had two. What they told him was that they do work if they have been fortunate to ablate the exact spot where the misfiring is happening. That is kind of like the perverbial needle in the haystack...so, I am not surprised that you had relief, but only for a short time. This is more common than not. I cannot quite remember, but didn't you say that your potassium was low in one of your blood tests? If that is the case, believe me, that makes a big difference in how your heart rhythm is responding to your chemical imbalance. I have low potassium as well, and have had all the definitive tests to rule out why my potassium is so low, but it does, in me, cause my pvcs to be worse. You can raise your potassium naturally by eating potassium rich foods.
The xanax can also cause a rebound effect, meaning it can cause more and greater anxiety and possibly more pvcs. Most physicians do not like for patients to be on xanax for long periods of time.
I applaud you for seeing a psychiatrist, because they can really help you. Seeing a counsler once a week is a good idea too. It is kind of like the cart before the horse, are the pvc's so bad because the anxiety is so high, and because you expect pvcs to happen, they do...or is there actually a physiological problem with in the heart itself? These are questions that health car providers can supply the answers to. Whatever the reason, when your anxiety is reduced, perhaps there will be an improvement in your pvcs. I say this, because I went through this too and I was having so many weird things happening in my body, with my heart, and you name it...I was a mess. I found a great psychiatrist, who put me on a combination of meds and it has helped me considerably to see how anxiety works on the body. I still have rought times, but I am much kinder to myself now. When I am having a bad day, I just have a pajama day and I do things that help me be calm, which in turn calms down those nasty pvcs. Some bi-feeback might help too. You have probably heard all of this before, so no need to tell you again. You are going to have to be your own investigator and find out what works for you. Your body chemistry is singularly unique to you and you only. You are going to go through some trial and error until you find what makes your body run smoothly. I used to joke with my cardiologist and say, Well, hey, why don't you just purt me in a drug induced coma and just rewire me. He was so sympathetic and just answered with, oh, that it was that simple to do. All of us, who have written to you here and the thousands out there like us, are all very sensitive to our bodies and what is going on inside of them. Why do we have to be that way? I wish I could answer that. We are unique unto ourselves...it would be great to be more normal, but we are normal for who we are. Just try to put your thoughts else where. I know this is so difficult when you are having great storms inside your body. I know the lonliness of the night and being so scared to go to sleep...the feeling of being so lonely and alone. One day, Karen, they are gong to know exactly what is wrong and how to fix it, in the meantime we are the pioneers for "the cure"...we are the brave ones who will go before and bear the uncertainty, so that others who follow us will not have to endure what we have had to indure. In the meantime, you have many people who care for you and about you. The world really is a small place and people really are kind and caring.
I am sorry I haven't been on my favorite forum in a long time but I have been really busy. I was put on Prozac several months ago and that has brought such peace to my life. Not one palpatation. I am ecstatic. I feel more like myself and I have lots of energy. I have 2 jobs now and take care of my family and have lost 62 pounds. No more snoring, no more jumps, skips, and hops. I really miss talking to you guys. How has everyone been? Please write me back and let me know your status as far as your life is going. I miss you guys. Love you too,
I am new to this forum and reading your initial post, I didn't notice it was from March, brought tears to my eyes as I could so relate to your desperation. Then reading your recent post I wept tears of joy (I love a happy ending:) I am sooooooo very happy for you!! What a transition. How inspiring!! I happen to have an appt w/ a psychiatrist for Monday to discuss meds. After 11 yrs of trying to live w/ the arrthymias,MVP & MVP syndrome etc., I want to try meds to help me deal w/ their emotional side effect. I have been so against going on those kinds of medications but at this point, I am desperate for a change.
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