Sorry to read of your difficulties, and your calm post speaks highly of your strength and attitude. Keep those going, they are your best hope of cures.
Has you cardiologist/EP given you any estimates of what may be achieved with another ablation. I read on this community many stories of multiple ablations and many times this has resulted in cures or at least vast improvements.
From what I know you do need to get your HR and BP under control. I know of nothing besides beta blockers, and for me they only help, getting my AFib driven HR down to the 80s at rest.
I hope you get some helpful posts here, and that you doctor(s) can come up with some help.