Once upon a time...

Sorry to rant, and I'm not drunk or something.. I just wanted to share some thoughts.

I'm writing this because I'm tired of constant having EKG's on my mind. I'm not completely sure how it happened. I think I just love math, physics, chemistry and biology. In addition, I know I'm an intelligent person (IQ 140 or so) and a quick learner.

Results are: I know almost what is possible to know about EKG interpretation and arrhythmias. I can interpret the worst EKG in just some seconds. If I visit my primary care physician he tells me: Why do you ask me? You know this a lot better than me (probably a joke, but anyway..)

I'm not proud. This is useless knowledge to me because I'm not a physician. I can never interpret someone's EKG and give a diagnosis. It only causes fear. I have spent hours studying my EKG's looking for errors, prominent U waves, notches in the waves, QT dispersion, axis calculation, and so on.

I must say, I miss the times when I didn't know about ST depression, long QT, bidirectional tachycardia, Brugada and inverted T waves. I want to pay as little attention to the heart as I do to the liver, just considering it an organ. I guess ignorance is bliss sometimes.

In the meantime, something happened. My dad is suffering from CAD and had bypass surgery done two years ago. Afterwards, the doctors didn't do anything except encouraging him to exercise. He had diffuse abdominal pain. His doctor still didn't do anything. I sensed that "something is wrong" (I tend to do, probably why I chose this name :p) and ordered an appointment with a cardiologist. His aorta was severely dilated, just like I suspected, more than 7 cm. Next week he got surgery. Now he is 100% recovered. I don't want to think what would happen if I didn't know some good cardiologists to send him to...

So, I guess this has been helpful after all. I love my family, and they are all OK now. I just wish all this electrophysiology knowledge would go away now. I don't need it. I'm not even sure how I learned it all.. It keeps my attention on my heart at all times, noticing every little PAC, living with a somehow unconcious fear of a serious arrhythmia that almost no one else have heard about.

Once upon a time I was a happy young man with no knowledge about my heart. I wish I could go back there.

Just a final tip: Don't read up on cardiology.. :) Thanks for reading!

[bbxx]

Well, I for one think you are wasting good knowledge. You understand the fear of all this junk. I think you should go to med school. Why not?

[Jerry_NJ]

An old American (USA) saying (may be global) is:  Ignorance is bliss.

[rilesnic]

I didn't notice my arrythmia until I went through nursing school....now I wish I had never been to nursing school, other than I can help be an advoacte for those I love....I changed careers anyway and I'm now a teacher...what I always wanted to do to begin with...yep Jerry...ignorance is bliss and I miss being ignorant about the heart :(

[curmudgen]

I agree that too much knowledge can be be a double edged sword however I think it keeps my physician on his toes since he knows that I am a smart patient.  However, I am not smart enough to figure out what triggers my episodes of benign PACs/PVCs.

[is_something_wrong]

Thank you. Bbxx, yes, I'm actually considering it, but I'm getting old and if I start now, I'll be almost 50 before I am a cardiologist. And somehow I hope to forget this before I'm 50.

Yes, ignorance is bliss and too much knowledge definitly is a double edged sword. Once I asked a cardiologist why he wasn't afraid. He didn't have a good answer but I assume he's past that point. Hopefully I'll get there eventually.

[bbxx]

Ummm, you are NEVER too old. Good grief, with your incredible memory and superb brain, you will finish school a lot sooner than most, and older doctors make people feel better than getting someone who hasnt seen much, so people will think you have seen a lot more than a super young doc, which will make them feel more secure. Add to that the fact you (GET IT) you will be compassionate towards your patients and  a sought after doctor! Sooooooo, too bad you dont live in the US! Just remember after you have your nice little certificate, that we here, know you as is_something_wrong and we dont want you to change, so developing an arrogant attitude is not negotiable! lol  Seriously--GO FOR IT!!!! What a great way to face your fear.

[CFS56]

I was a medical professional for 30 years (nurse, nurse practioner).  I wish I didn't know all the things I do.  I know every bad thing that even the most seemingly innocent symptom could be.  There are many times I wish that I could forget all of it and go back to knowing nothing and trusting doctors to tell me what is going on. But there have been times it's been helpful, particularly with all the problems my husband has had.  I have come to the conclusion that ignorance in some cases can be bliss.

[curmudgen]

As a former pre-med advisor and champion for the older student going to medical school I would go for it.  Don't miss an opportunity to realize your dream. At 50 you can have 20 productive years helping others.

[is_something_wrong]

Thank you, I will consider it.

That said, I would be an MD at the age 36 if I started now, that's not so bad. Specializing in internal medicine, and then cardiology, will take time, but I can work during that time. But I already have an MBA, so it's a bit to waste a good educational degree too.. Not easy to decide.

[bbxx]

Well we all support you here and are rooting for you! Thirty six--you are just a baby! lol

[erijon]

I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I spend 16 hours or so a week working with cardiologists and have learned enough to be dangerous. I can say though, last week end my wife had a scare and we had to rush her to the ER for chest pain. Fortunately, her tests were normal and they had her do a Thallium stress tests in the morning that was excellent so no worries. Having said that, it was nice to be able to read her EKG and know what I was being told was correct.

Knowledge is power, it depends on how you choose to use it.

[curmudgen]

Your MBA is not going to waste.........
you don't realize how much business information you need to run a medical practice.  education is never a waste... One of my students finished medical school at your age and he is really enjoying fulfilling a late bloomers dream.