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343765 tn?1202526132
Sitting here having PVC's and PAC's one after another!!!
Hey guys, I am having a pity party. I have had it with these stupid beats. I am worn out with it and if I could talk the Doc into it I would go right now to have my 2nd ablation. I want to be free again. I am getting on everyones nerves at my house and I  am getting on my own nerves. I would love to have the past 6 years back. Is that being greedy? I can't understand what started them up again. I know that the doc said that they could be new troubled spots but are they going to keep continuing to come back time and time again? I have lost 13 pounds and have given up everything that I know of that have flared them off in the past. I barely eat, I barley leave the house for personal time, I hate to drive now. I am a WRECK!!!!!! I want my life BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cry all the time, I am scared all the time, I hate this type of life. I am usually a fun, outgoing, hardworking person. Now I feel like I have laid down and given up. My 99 year old Grandma has more life in her than I do. I am not scheduled until the first of Feb. for my workup. I don't think I can wait. I am sitting here strongly thinking about going to the ER and asking them to admit me so that I can get it over with. I a feed up, at wits end. I want peace. I know that I this won't hurt you but it is so debilitating. I am SCREAMMMMMINNNNGGGGG now!!!! Sorry guys I had to get that out of my system. Keep praying for me and I will let you all know what I decide to do. If it weren't for you all I would be motified. You all that have commented me back have been wonderful hope and strength for me. My quality of life has went from spectacular to pathetic. Well I am going to go to my room and continue my pity party there. Take care guys and thanks for listening.
Karen in Tennessee and wishing for a miracle.
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Page 7 of 7
343765 tn?1202526132
Well I think that we should meet. I haven't had a period in 2 months myself. I know that I am not pregnant. Unless it is emaculate conception. LOL
Thanks for asking about me.I will keep you guys updated. I wish it were over. My husband has his procedure done Wednesday. Say a big prayer.
Love you guys bunches.
My thoughts are prayers are with you all. Hey my thread  thrills me everytime I get on here and see another comment. I think that it is awesome. Everybody keep em comin'!!
That is Tennessee talk because you all know that we leave off syllables. LOL.
God Bless each of you.
Karen
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343765 tn?1202526132
Hi it's me again. Tomorrow is the big day for my hubby. Say a BIG prayer for him please. Say one for me too that I will be skip free so that I will be able to take care of him during his recovery. I am trying to be positive and not think about me. Love you guys. To all of you I hope you have an uneventful day with your hop,skips and jumps.
God bless you guys for being here for so many people.
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
U and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...Please let us all know how things went...God Bless u...
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21064 tn?1309312333
To: Sunshine
Hi Karen,

I'm bummed that I didn't join in on this thread earlier!  Here's to one of the longest threads on here!!  There's so much good stuff going on here; so much friendship and support!!  I love it!!  It looks like all y'all (another southernism; I'm learning...LOL) are finding this place inviting, informational and comforting.  Isn't it great?  This place was a God-send for me when I was looking for answers and support.  I am just so grateful to everyone for making this such a great place!  

OK, back to the business at hand....Sunshine, I hope your husband has the very best outcome possible!  You are both in my thoughts and prayers.  

Keep us posted on how your hubby is doing and be sure to let us know when your ablation is (re)scheduled.  

Connie
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343765 tn?1202526132
To everyone who sent up a prayer for my husband.. I wanted to thank you for everything. He done well and has to go back to the doc and go in the hospital to have his liver biopsy because of where they did the other procedure they couldn't get him to sleep. So he will have to go in the hospital to be put to sleep where it is more controled. They found inflammation from the esophogus to the stomach and did biopsies of that and 2 polyps in his colon. One she dropped and could not recover but was able to hold on to the other one to biospy it. He does have fatty liver disease and he has to watch his diet. Bless his heart. We have to wait a week for results. So keep those prayers coming.
About me when seems not so important right now... I go to the heart doc on the 28th to make sure I am okay to procede with my ablation since I had the flu and maybe just maybe he can help give me my life back.  I am so tired of complaining. I wish I had some good news. I am still having my crazy beats but sometimes I go all day without one until up in the night before bed. I am jumping some now. I have worked my nerves in to such a mess that I am having a hard time swallowing. I know it is my nerves. It just started about 3 days ago since I have been sitting up with my husband worrying with his test. MY NERVES ARE SHOT. I can swallow food and water and such but my saliva is hard to get down. I think maybe also since he uped my meds that it has dried up alot of my saliva and makes it hard to swallow. I feel like my life is falling apart. I know that I have to stay strong. I can't give up. I am going to beat this and whatever my husbands test comes back we will work through it. Thanks again for everyone who has commented. My thanks to all of you.
I love this site and all the great info I get from everyone. I have made this my site of choice. I have directed my Dad to it and my brother.
By the way the thread is almost to 100!!!! Wahoooo. I love it. I love you guys. God Bless each of you.
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
Ty for letting us know how things went...I had a really bad day yesterday and thought of u and I *Smiled* because I knew that u would understand what I was going through...I love this site too and I love the people here also...such a great source of strength...God Bless....
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343765 tn?1202526132
Oh you are so sweet.Did you have some bad hops, skips, and jumps? I have had a terrible day today. I have got myself in such a tizzy I am having a hard time swallowing. I am a total disaster tonight. I am on the verge of going to the ER or taking another Xanax and seeing if I can relax. I am thinking that my meds are causing me some issues. I dream of the day when I can feel normal. I have been so scared tonight. It is a terrible feeling to feel that you can't swallow.
I do understand what you are going through. We should exchange telephone numbers so we can talk each other through bad times. I wished I could start a support group in my area to help others with this disability. That is what it really is. It makes me so out of it that I absolutely can not function.I feel so alone because no one else in my house can understand. I like you absolutley love this site. I love the information that I get. I love to hear others stories.They somehow give me comfort. I look for comments to ease my mind, I think that you and I are on the same wave length. I so can not wait to get myself fixed. I have never looked forward to surgery of any kind but I look forward to being fixed again. I cry myself to sleep when everyone else goes to bed. I think is there ever going to be peace for me and then I get on here and read post where they seem to be a lot worse than me.Lucky I have you guys and loving understanding kids that take me like I am and sit with me when I am scared and sad. I  hate to drag them down but they always know when I am not myself. I pray for healing or a once and for all cure for all of us. I love my new found friends. We might have issues but we truly care about others. That is a rare thing to find now days. I think that you are a wonderful person with a big heart!!! Literally. Love you girl.

To Thinline I hope that you have had a good day. Rose you too. I hope that you both are recovering nicely. Thinline are you back to work full time? Rose have you had any skips since your ablation? I hope not. I had quite a few after mine but it eventually went away!!
God Bless you all. Take care and I hope that everyone has a great day tomorrow.

My thoughts and prayers are with all for a restful night and a glorious day!!
Love ya
Karen
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343765 tn?1202526132
H guys, Sitting here with one jump after another. I over did it today. I have been cleaning house for 12 hours. I have been throwing away and cleaning baseboards and etc. I don't want my family to have to contend with with it after my ablation. I worked to hard and go my heart in a tizzy. I am lying down now trying to feel better so I can finish up I may have to wait until tomorrow. Hope that everyone is doing good today, Today is the best I have felt in a while. Until about 2 hours ago. I am counting the days until the 28th. I hope you guys have a great day tomorrow and that all is well. Love you guys. God Bless each of you.
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
Hey Hun...Ty for the reply...I do feel like we are the same type of person...all of the things it seems that u are feeling...I feel also...I am scared to do anything...to leave the house alone...to be in a room by myself...lol...My husband fusses at me constantly...says that the dr said I am fine and to do whatever I want to do...I want to scream at him...DON'T U THINK THAT IS WHAT I WANT TOO...I just want to be myself again...I want Cathy back and I am so afraid she is never coming back because this is NEVER going to go away...I am going on Monday for a 2nd opinion...I think I am entitled to that...even though everyone says I am nuts...It is my heart afterall...I suppose maybe I do bring a lot of this on myself...but it is a horrible feeling thinking that u are going to drop over dead at any time....I keep praying...but sometimes I feel that God is tired of me always calling on Him...

On the day of your surgery...I will be saying many prayers for u Karen and I pray that u get your life back...I know how it is to want that...Sigh...do I ever know...God Bless u My Friend and Ofcourse we can exchange phone numbers...Tc of u Hun....
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343765 tn?1202526132
Hey you. I feel your pain. My husband says he is sick of hearing about it. I would never wish this on anyone but I wish for one day that he could feel what I feel.I bet he would stay in the bed and cry. He can't even handle a cold. I might know that it isn't going to hurt me but it sure feels like it. I too feel that God is sick of me calling on him. I have to though.. that is what gets me through. I don't know how many days more I can take it. It has been really bad all weekend. I go to the doc Thursday. I hope that I get good  news.
You know Cathy God says ask in his name and you shall receive. I ask because he wants us to. He wants us to call on him.

I too am afraid to go out. I get all smothery and I can't swallow and I feel my heart kicking into gear. I feel safe at home for some reason. I am even getting scared to go to work and there is no way that I can quit work. We could never make it. Anyway if I stayed home I would be alone because no one is here during the days.

Thanks so much for the prayers that you send up for me. I do the same for you. Hopefully after Thursday I will have some news to share. Good news I pray. I would love to share my number with you. I have invited you to be my friend haven't I? I will give it to you on there. Thanks for being such a wonderful person. Good luck with the hops, and skips. I have had enough for me and you both this weekend.

Take care and my thoughts and prayers are with you. By the way my son is going to be a preacher and he is giving me strength through his wisdom. He is awesome. Love you girl. Let me know when you get your second opinion. There is nothing wrong with that. That is your business to find out all you can about your body. I do.
Talk to you soon. Keep praying. I am.
Karen
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Hi Sunshine and everyone.  I'm so relieved that I got here before you had your ablation Sunshine, I have been so busy I just couldn't get here till now.  I will be sending loads of positive vibes your way on the 28th, will be praying for a positive outcome.

I've missed so much of what's been going on on this thread, can hardly believe how huge it is now.  Sites like this are brilliant, here we are, different people from all over the world who share a common problem, and we can make each other feel better for the simple reason that we "get it".  It is always such a relief for me to come here and read and know that I am not alone in feeling so horrible because my heart is beating in a dodgy rhythm.

I must share a very special moment I had with my son (6) the other morning.  I sleep in his bed because I'm still on oxygen at night and the noise from the machine bothers my hubby.  My son sleeps in my bed with my hubby.  The other morning my little boy got into bed to wake me up to get ready for work.  We were just lying close enjoying the moment (we call it snuggly buggly time) and he was fiddling with my hair - unfortunately it is still falling out, in fact even faster than before - and he asked why he could see the "skin on my head".  I explained again about medication and illness causing hair loss, for some reason he gets really upset that I might go bald.  Anyway, he got out of bed and came back a moment later (I am NOT a morning person so I was a bit out of it at this point), then he got back into bed and stuck something really tight onto my head.  I asked what he was doing and these were his exact words "mom I put my hat which I wore in nursery school and is too small for me now on your head because it's tight so it will hold your hair in your head and then it won't be able to fall out any more so it will stay in your head".  Oy, I've never ever felt such a rush of pure adoration.

This little boy has been through so much in his short little life, and he's so compassionate.  If his typing skills were better I am certain he'd be here on this site encouraging everyone to get better the way he encourages me.  I have realised that God gave me a very special child because he knew I'd need some extra special love to get me through the rough patches.  He's so gentle with me, he hunts for ages to find games to play with me which I can play without having to get down on the floor (once I'm down I can't get back up), or run about, or bend.  He's very sensitive to how I'm feeling, and he seems to know when to leave me alone.  His behaviour when its just him and me is almost perfect, but it's a totally different story when there are others around!!

Well that's it from me for tonight.  I hope everyone is ok I really miss my daily visits here, but in a few weeks I will be less swamped at work so can come "chat" more.

Sunshine, to you and your husband and extended family, I wish you all the very best, and I can't wait to hear how well you are doing after your ablation.  You and my son have compassion in common.  I think it is awesome how you open your heart and home to people in need.  My husband and I have considered forstering children, but I'd never be able to give them up, I'd get too attached, so I just can't do it.

Be well everyone, and keep each other going.
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343765 tn?1202526132
As I sit here wiping away the tears I want to thank you for your kindness. You do have a special son and my son wrote me the most precious email. He is a God send for me. Not that my other children aren't but he is so geared into me that it is unbelieveable. I would really love to share it with you. He is 22 and I have raised him without his real Dad in his life and this is what he has become. I will keep you updated and Thinline you cherish that little one and write things down that he says and does so you will never forget. Thanks for the prayers and kindness. I hope that you feel better soon. Who cares about hair? It is a cosmetic structure. What is on the inside is what counts and I know that you have a lot to offer, Here is my sons email that touched my heart like nothing else.Thk you for the e-mail and I do worry because I feel like I am the only one that does care anything about the situation, I know what you have isnt life threating because josh has the same thing and he leads a normal life with no problems..you say it aggervates you but no matter how I try and see it in my mind that you wont be hurt by it I can't just because of your actions..your 48 years old and its like looking at a 70 year old woman every time I come home its the same thing ...you are always laying in the bed or your eyes are so big its not even funny...I know in the morning when I wake up if its gonna be a good day..you come in my room with a smile on your face and a good attitued I know its gonna be a good day, but when you come into my room down and out and I know this just by looking at your face I know its gonna be a bad day..I am geared into it mom more than you could ever know no matter how hard you try and hide it I will know...You can't let this control your life..there is no need to lay in the bed and wait for something to happen..you need to enjoy your life just as much as I do..there are 10000000 of people in this world with only months left to live because of cancer or heart disease, but most do not have the attitued you do..they would love to be in yours shoes you have never had one doctor tell you that well you have 6 months to live because of your pvc's...you need to get out and get some fresh air every once in a while let the sunlight hit your face..God has givin you your heart for a reason and that reason is not to sit around and be depressed all the time..Like I said 6 months ago sometime horrible came back into your life and it took my warm hearted loving full of life mother away from me..and I hope after the 28th that the amazing person will be back..You cant let this rule your life its time to get up and dont let this beat you there is no need for that..You dont understand how bad I need you in my life right now, i need you there when I get married, I need you there when I move out, I need you there when I have kids, as you know I dont really have a father in my life....and for something to happen to you I wouldnt know what do to..Please I beg of you from the bottom of my heart please stand up and be strong and DO NOT LET THIS BEAT YOU...think about how good you have it compared to other...Mom I Just want you to know I love you I wish it was that easy for me to let go and say well there is nothing I can do, but God has put this on my heart for a reason to keep you strong and dont let you give up...I know in the end I will get my mommie back no matter what, I know how strong of a person you are, but it's past time to stand up and just say im gonna beat this..dont lay in the bed and let you life go by..I love you more than life itself and cant wait to see you better again..I know the doctors can help you out, dont be scared you have my prayers...I love you mom...and dont tell me not to worry If i didnt that would mean I didnt love you..we will do this together put your faith in God and dont hide your problems...if you are sick dont hide that let someone help thats all it takes .That is coming from a young man with so much faith. I wanted to share that with you. So when I sit and mope and ponder on myself I am hurtung my children. I am going to try to much better. I guess when we feel bad that people that love us feel it. I never want my children to be burdened with me, I want to be me again. Well thanks for reading and I will write more later. To all my precious friends, I love you guys. I am so glad that I have you all. Much love and God Bless each one of you.
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
I sat here reading your latest post and I cried the entire time...I can not help but to think...do my children feel the same way...I do the same thing...I have let this control my life Karen and take me from them...we have to stop...somehow...we have to get strength from God and from all of us on here and we can over come this...I want to live again...I want to be me again...and I know u as well as the others on here do also...We can do it...Look at the trials that Job had to endure...his wife told him to curse God and die and not one time did he do it...Let us all draw strength from God and from each other...God Bless U All...U are in my prayers and I love u....
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343765 tn?1202526132
AMEN!!!!! We are going to have to stop this stuff.l know if we try hard enough I think that we can. We can feed off of each other and lean on each other for support. I pray for each of you guys on here and I know that we are all going through basically the same thing. My children are my life and instead of me being their caregiver they have been mine. How unfair. I know that my son is right. There is good things to come. He is wise beyond years. My oldest lost his g/f to Cancer at 20 and he has managed to carry on and still be stronger than me. My kids have more faith than I have and I was the one who taught them to believe and ask the Lord for help but I can't seem to hear my own words and follow them. I am going to give it my best effort. I have to. You are a wonderful lady. I hope you know that you can call upon me for anything. Just a talk or whatever. I am scared I am not going to lie about the 28th but I am also anxious. I want it to be all better. God Bless you sweety and we will lean on the Lord to get us through this. I love you too.
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431362 tn?1211654781
wow!  I have just sat and read all of these posts and i hope you don't mind me jumping in.
I joined this forum last night and can't believe I am not alone in feeling this way.  I too am letting it control my life and i've only had it since January.  I am really scared.  I don't know how different it is but I get SVT not pvc or pacs.
I have sat here crying reading all the posts, I am a childminder and have tried to hide my tears from the children.
Then the postman delivered our mail, there were 2 cards from family wishing me well - made me cry even more.

Sunshine47 - I hope your hubby is ok and I will be thinking of you on Thursday sending positive vibes.
Wvmomof3 - I too would be getting a 2nd opinion, people who don't have this just don't understand how awful it is.
Thinline - bless your little boy.  my son is also 6 and that is the sort of thing he'd do.  one morning I was having an "attack" he came downstairs and made me my breakfast and bought it up on a tray.  it consisted of a banana, some tic-tacs, and a drink of orange squash in a childs sports bottle!!  I really cried.

I sincerely wish everyone all the best and thankyou all for telling your stories.

Caroline xx

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Wow, that is all I can say is WOW!!  I read your post sunshine and I just kept shaking my head reading your sons words to you....and he is 22.  My kids are younger and they had to fend for themselves back in the summer, my oldest was their mother for months.  They would know when Mommy didn't feel well or was "sick."  My middle child made her own lunch one morning and I cried watching her.  Back then (it seems so long ago) I cried about everything.  My oldest who is 16 now seemed tired and depressed and I knew it was because of me and it hurt me to no end watching what I was doing to my kids, but it was like I couldn't snap out of my funk.  I have done much better, but there are days when I snap at the kids or I don't have the patience to listen to a story about what happened at school...those are days when the PVC's are controlling me.  My kids mean EVERYTHING to me and it tears me up when I can't be the old mommy that I used to be.  I pray that all of us will oneday not let these horrid quirks ruin our lives and learn to live and be thankful for what God has given us.  My faith is not where it should be sunshine, but it's much further then it was a  year ago.  My prayer are with you and your husband, and I know that everything will work out for your good on the 28th.
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Hi Karen.  Can you believe that the 28th is almost here?  So soon now and you'll be ok again.  I read the e-mail your son sent you and it touched my heart in some places, but to be honest, in others bits it made me angry.

You are feeling horrible, having a dodgy heart is scary and exhausting, you have the added stress of your husband not being well.  In my opinion, if you are having a bad day due to the very real problem with your heart, and you feel too tired or afraid to get up, then you have every right in the world to stay in bed.

Nobody can "imagine" how it feels when your symptoms start going mad.  It is hard.  It is scary.  It affects every bit of you and your life.  It is impossible to explain to someone how it feels if they have not felt it themselves.

Your son obviously adores you, but I got the sense he's angry at you, and that he's losing his compassion.  I'm religious to a degree, but not hugely so, I think the Jewish perception is a bit different to the Christian perception.  I don't for a moment believe that God will jump in and restore me to perfect health.  I think that God is teaching me how to deal with what I've got, the good and the bad.

I am still praying for you, and wish you all the very best for the 28th.  I hope your son gets his wish to see his mommy back to how she used to be, but Karen, if you want to stay in bed because you feel bad, then do it.

I wish I could meet a whole lot of people from this forum, especially this thread.  We'd have a good laugh.

Big storm coming, so I'm off to bed.

Goodnight everyone, and stay healthy.
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Well, as I sit here and read all of these I have to kind of smile, a little bitter sweetly, knowing that somebody (a lot of people evidently) have the same problems.  I am definitely praying & well wishing for each of you.  I have had every test in the book much like you WvMom & they have told me it is nothing.  Then I will have days like today where I am having a one with every other beat of my heart.  I have scheduled an appt with my Cardiologist (same guy who said there was nothing wrong the first time) but this time am basically going to ask the questions that I want answered, and expect a straight forward answer.  Sunshine - definite prayers & well wishes to you for your operation & the outcome.  I hope everything goes well.  I could ask everyone here who is a God fearing person to pray for me, to pray that I will get some faith in me.  I have been so short on faith, so much so that I haven't asked God to help with my medical problems.  I have been suffering so much with this anxiety that I haven't been able to ask the one source that I KNOW will help me TO help me.  I guess I need to get goin on the use of my mustard seed!  

Anyway, I will let everyone know what my cardio says next week.  And many prayers to you all.
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343765 tn?1202526132
I appreciate your opinion. You are right in voicing your opinion. Everyone has that right. I know that not everyone has the same religious upbringing. I respect that.I respect you for who you are not for what religion you are. You are very special to me. You have been through alot and yes I do believe that God throws things at us to make us stronger and be able to cope. You are strong and I feel so weak sometimes. But I will overcome it, I have before and I can now. My son is very sensitive and he cares so much and I have not been a fun Mom but a caring mom,I want my kids to remember me as being an awesome person that liked to have a good time and someone that they could always count on. I appreciate everyones comments and prospectives on all my many issues. A big thanks goes out to a bunch of wonderful people. I too Thinline wish I could meet all of you guys. Do you think that we would be taking our pulse? LOL. I would. Hopefully the 28th will help me find peace. Keep praying for me and I will do the same for you.
Take care and I will keep you updated as the events unfold. Love you bunches, A big Tennessee Hug.
Karen
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343765 tn?1202526132
To all the great people who have responded I never knew there were so many people that really cared. I wish I had a magic cure for all of us and we could enjoy life to its fullest. Sometimes I look around and see people that seem normal and I get sad. That is so stingy of me.I wonder why me? Why was it me that got this "thing" that I have. Then I have to think that God only gives it to the ones that he knows can handle it. Just like he gives special people a handicapped child. There is a reason for everything. I know that. I think that all things are possible through our Lord Jesus Christ. I hope that my religion doesn't offend anyone. I have to say it. I am a believer and I lean on the Lord for everything that I do throughout the day. Sometimes I think I lean to much, but I am his child and he wants us to. Just like your children count on you to help them when they are hurt or sick. I don't have many friends, because of my illness. I have lost alot of them becasue I can't party with them or keep up with them. I guess a true friend is a person who takes all your goods with your bads. That is why I am so glad that I have found you all. I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that are going up for me for Thursday. I am scared but not to the point of panic. I know that what will be will be. To everyone this thread has made my days wonderful.I can't wait to get home from work to read them. They honestly make a big smile on my face. Not someone feeling bad but all the nice things that people have to say and the true compassion that everyone has for each other.I hope that I have good news soon. Take care to you all and God Bless you all. Love you from the bottom of my messed up little heart.<3.
A great big hug from a Tennessee Hillbilly!!!
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
Hey Hun...Just wanted to let u know...I went back to the dr today...he said my echo results were EXCELLENT and for me not to worry...don't u love it when they say that...lol...I am still going for a 2nd opinion on the 5th...If I don't...I will regret it...I know me...

I know exactly what u mean by seeing others and u get so sad and think...Why me...why did this have to happen to me...I do that all the time and then I remind myself...what if I were blind or confined to a wheel chair...what if I couldn't do all the things I do now and that is when I look up and I say...Ty God for what u have done for me...

Your religion could never offend me in any way...I am a believer too...I believe nothing is possible without God's help and I repeat to myself over and over again...*And this too shall pass...*

Hope to hear from you soon...God Bless U...Love ya My Friend *Smile*
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343765 tn?1202526132
Hey great news about the Echo. I am glad. But if you aren't satisfied I don't blame you for getting a second opinion. I am very thankful for the health that I have. I would never want to be blind or deaf or unable to do for myself. At least I am not disabled and can still work. I get bored at home.
I am glad that my religion doesn't offend you. I could tell you were a believer. I am glad. God will take care of our needs as he sees fit. I trust him 100 percent. I pray all the way to work and all day long. I feel that is what gets me through.
You keep your chin up and have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Love you girl,
Karen
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This is the kind of thing that frustrates me.  All day yesterday my heart rate was between 90-120 all day.  Today it's been no higher than 78.  Ahhh!  lol  it drives me nuts.  I am going to ask the doctor next week, I will give everyone the answers he gives me.  I'm going armed with pen & paper!  ;P lol
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Karen, one more sleep and the big day will be here!  I'm wishing the time to go quickly for you.  Your religion doesn't offend me by the way.  Please know that you mean a great deal to me too.  I don't understand why you think you are weak.  I personally think that you are incredibly strong, you are going through a hard time, and that makes you feel weak but it does not mean you are weak.  I also have my weakling days, although for some reason today I'm feeling strong from a mental point, I think it's due to the tight deadline I have at work, I'm forced to really push myself hard because my pain is bad again, and if I don't keep pushing myself, I'll end up allowing the pain monster to get me again and I don't know how I'd cope with that.

All of us having coffee would be brilliant, we could have a competition to see who's tachy was the fastest.  Coffee and cheesecake, yum it makes my mouth water.

I started on new heart meds on Saturday - the ones that caused so much drama as they are not yet registered, so had to be brought into the country on compassionate grounds.  So far I have not noticed any difference in my rate, but lets hope they work.

Once again I wish you all the best for tomorrow.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you and I look forward to coming here and seeing how things went.  Are you going to put it on this thread or start another one?

Be thinking of you.
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I can't tell you how happy I am to have found this site. When ever I am having a bad day, I come here and read the posts to know that I am not alone.  There are the days when there are no "palps" or dropped feelings and then it seems everytime I turn around, one comes along.
I am a 36 year old Mom to 3 young ones who has had all the tests too. An ekg and chest xray (at the ER), holtor monitor, all the blood tests and a stress test. All came back normal. My Dr. says I'm fine and just need to take a deep breath and relax when it happens. She also says the more I think about and obsess about it, the more it will happen. This I've found is true. My anxiety over all of it makes me crazy!!! I see my GP about every 6 wks, due to see her again next week. I'm hoping that this time will be the last time for a while and that I can move on and just believe I'm having a "hiccup"
I want my old self back too. The one that runs around with her kids without thinking twice and isn't afraid to work out to strenously. I'm sick of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I just want to be normal again. To wake up after a full nights rest without this being the first thing on my mind. To go out somewhere with my husband or kids without worrying.
Thanks for listening and keep posting. It's keeping all of us somewhat sane:)
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402646 tn?1202525002
Please feel free to vent to all of us on here anytime u feel like it...this site has helped me so much...I come here to receive strength...I think that is why God led me to this site...HE knew I needed to talk to others who were going through the same thing...Karen has become such an inspiration to me and I love her dearly...I will keep u all in my prayers...God Bless u....Here's to a "Skip" free night....
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Thanks for the welcome. Be careful what you wish for or I'll be on here all the time!LOL
I feel like I've given up all this good stuff, but they keep happening. I've lost 17 lbs. in the process, I like that! Of course though I've given up M&M's and all other chocolate, but losing the M&M's hurts the most. I try to stay away from sugar because I notice I have more when I'm eating sugar. No caffeine, no alcohol. Although I still have the occasional glass of wine mixed with diet 7 or I might have a beer.
My hubby is pretty good about all this. Has listened to me ramble on about it. He can't get why I just don't take my Drs. word for it. It's hard to, you know. Unless it's happening to you, you just don't have the same understanding.
Thanks for listening.
Have a great night all. Peace.
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343765 tn?1202526132
Well just got back from my Doctor and the ablation is off for at least another month. My new Doctor feels that my first ablation was such a success that she does not believe that I am experiencing the same thing. So I get to wear a wonderful Loop monitor for a month so she can witness first hand my episodes. She feels that my success rate was 98 percent according to my old docs findings. She says that there are several other things that factor into this. One being sleep apnea, and menopause. She feels I need another sleep test. So I have been scheduled for that again.I couldn't get my monitor today because they did not have the correct one to hook me up to. I go back on the 5th. She did and EKG which was perfect. No flips or flops. Seems to always be that way when I go to the doc after complaining. Just like my kids when they were little. They would be so sick and I would take them to the doc and they would be up running around making me look like I was an overprotective mother. I think that when I go to the Doc that I feel safe for some reason. Anyway I had lost 23 pounds. I was ecstatic. That is a positive. I really appreciate all of your guys and all the prayers that have been sent up for me. Please keep them coming. I guess I will have a long month ahead of me but if it cures me I am willing to do anything. God Bless you all and I hope that you have had a wonderful day!!
I love you guys. I will keep you posted.
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
Sigh...I had been waiting all day to hear from u...lol...I was worried to death...I was even praying for u in the car with my husband today...I am sorry they are putting u off...but I hope they find all the answers and do the right thing to heal u...I have been feeling pretty good the last couple of days and I have realized...once I calm down...things don't seem so bad...I try to focus on the good that God has done in my life and not on the negative...but...OH...How I HATE to hear someone say...u are fine...nothing to worry about...I want to just scream and say...are u INSANE...lol...Anyways...Hope u rest well tonight...Talk to u soon...Love ya My Friend *Smile*....
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my pacs were allmost gone for a week but they just came back probablly because i caught a bad cold and im weak. i realize now that the less i let them bother me the less they occur.they are really bad the more we stress over them. they are harmless.over half of us have them and a few of us poor souls notice them. best way to cure is to ignore.medicnes to supress them are can be harmfull where to ignore has no harm whatsoever. they will only hurt our minds. think of that great saying


I WASTED A LOT OF MY LIFE WORRIYNG ABOUT THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPENED.
i know far to well easier said than done but ive been there. checked pulse every five minutes.5emergency visits.6ecgs.even checked pulse while making love to wife.almost lost my mind. all invain. just made them worse.  good luck all and may god be with you



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343765 tn?1202526132
Thank you my wonderful friend for all the prayers. You are wonderful. I can never tell you just how much it means to me. I get my nerve up and then I get told that it might not be that at all. I pray for you all the time too. I hate it to when others say you are alright. If that is true why don't I feel alright? You are what a true friend is all about. I will keep you up on the latest. I never can mention that I am feeling well because just as sure as I do I will get all bent out of shape. So when somebody says how do you feel and I haven't felt any bumps I say SHHHHHH! They know that means she is okay but be quiet. LOL. I get my monitor the 5th. A whole month of wearing it, YUCK!!! Oh well I will do what ever it takes. I love you girl. Hope you keep having good days, God works miracles. Sleep tight.
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343765 tn?1202526132
Thanks for the words of wisdom. I realize the more that I stress over it the more frequent they occur. I can't get them off my mind. I have thought about going to a hypnotic session to see if that will help. I am willing to try anything at this point. How many jumps have you had in a day? I must admit that I am guilty too. I to have checked my pulse while with my husband also. I don't want it to get out of whack in the middle of an intimate moment. I live on prayer. I bet God gets so tired of me calling up on him, but I just can't help it. I beg sometimes to make it beat right. I hope that the docs can fix me up so when we go to the beach that I can enjoy my family and my time away from all my problems. Thanks for the comment. I think that this is the first time that we have commented each other. Please comment anytime. I have made so many special friends on here from this thread that it is awesome. God Bless and I am so glad that you have the power of mind over matter. Have a great night.
Karen
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Hey Karen.  I'm still trying to decide if this news is good or bad.  The major thing here is that your new doctor is obviously very thorough and is not keen to rush blindly into anything if she feels there might be something different going on which could be treated in a different way.  As frustrating as this wait is, I think its really a good plan of action on your doc's behalf, and she probably has some inkling of whats really going on and is doing this to confirm her feeling.  Perhaps when your doc left he actually did you a favour, becaue a different doc will look on things in a different way and might pick something up the other guy missed.  Often I think my cardio knows me too well and doesn't really pay enough attention.  I guess only time will tell, but since you have a whole nother month to wait now, please try be positive.  

I know what a hard time you have been having, but I've been thinking about how down in the dumps you are and what any of us here can try to suggest to make you feel better.  I'm not talking about huge life changes here, just little things.  I have three suggestions to try perk you up:

1. Think of something good and positive about yourself every day and write it down in a journal (anything goes here, it could be about your kind heart and how you have helped so many people, it could be something about your body that you are proud of - maybe you have a gorgeous butt or boobs or stunning hair - whatever, write it down and then one day when you are feeling very bad you can go back and read it.

2.  Think of something a member of your family has said or done lately which has made you feel special and loved - a good start would be the mail from your son.  Write that down too and go back and read it when you need to.

3.  Do something each day that you love doing, whether it's sitting outside and listening to the birds sing, or watch rain through the window, read something silly that you've always wanted to but didn't do because it was too silly, look on the web for a joke until you find one that really gets you giggling.

I hope you give one or more of these a try and it helps you feel better and cope better.  I'm sure lots of people have other suggestions for you, and I think any suggestions anyone makes will help everyone else here who feels angry and fed up with life.

Sending you a hug all the way from South Africa!
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402646 tn?1202525002
Hey Hun...Missed seeing a post from u today...Hope all is well with u and u have a great night...Hop, Skip, and Jump FREEEEEE....God Bless...Love ya...(((Huggssss)))
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343765 tn?1202526132
I hung out with the family last night and then the old heart started doing its ritual dance and I had to go to bed. So that is why I wasn't on. I am so tired of no fun and all sick all the time, I am working on a plan with the doc. So soon I hope that I can go out and play with no worries.I woke up this morning with the beast going off in my body. I have tried to ingnore it so that it will go away but no luck yet. How about yourself sweety? Ihope that your day is going well. I am praying so hard for relief for all of us. I am going to beat this DEMON. I have faith and lots of it. I hope that you have a wonderful day filled with peace. God Bless you my new found friend. I really care. Hugs and lots of them to you. Love ya too muchly. <3
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402646 tn?1202525002
Hey Hun...Glad u posted today...I was getting a little worried about u...I hope your day got better and u were able to enjoy it some...we took the boys to the mall for a bit...I wish I could enjoy it Karen...but I am still scared to death...I am constantly waiting for my heart to flutter...Will this ever get any better?....It is a horrible way to live...I haven't felt it skip since the 20th of Feb...but I know it is only a matter of time before it does...which in turn scares me more...because I will think they are gone and BAM...here they come again to prove to me that I am never going to get over this...Sigh...If not for God's grace...I would be in a nut house I am sure....Ty for listening to me vent...once again...Love ya my Friend...*Huggsss*
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343765 tn?1202526132
Hey you!!
You should be proud that you haven't had trouble since the 20th. Isn't it funny that we can name the exact time and date since it last happens? Now that it hasn't happened in a while would be a good time to try to focus on something that you enjoy. Maybe if you can just say hey I haven't had a flip in a while and so what if I do I know that it isn't going to hurt me. Do you constantly feel your pulse? That is my problem. I should just take some super glue and glue my fingers to my neck or wrist. LOL. Maybe it is gone forever, I have been praying for you alot. God works in mysterious ways. If he heals one all the prayers that have been sent up will not have been in vain. Not that I ever think that a prayer is in vain it is that God answers in his own time and his own way. I learned that the hard way.When my son's fiance' passed away I was so angry and so upset and then I got angry at my son because he moved on.. I couldn't understand why or how he could forget so quick but that was not it at all. He just dealed different. I would not even let his g/f in  my house and all I was doing was driving a wedge between us, I prayed to God everyday that he would get rid of her but instead he got closer and closer to her. I then decided that I needed to do the same. God lead me to do the right thing to keep peace with my son and now she is part of us, Not like Savannah.. we can never replace her but I am accepting it alot better now. So I have had to turn it over and let happen whatever happens. The same as my heart. I feel so scared and sometimes when I have bad episodes today I feel like calling it quits and quit putting my family through my PAIN! Then I think that would just hurt lots of people and I have faith that things will get better. I feel like a NUT sometimes but my husband is helping me. He keeps telling me to be patient. I get angry sometimes when people tell me that because it is easy for them to say that because it isn't happening to them. I have to step back and say okay I am going to do this with the help of my Lord. I can't give up. I want to get better. By the way your venting doesn't bother me at all. I love to talk to you. You are my friend and that is what friends are for. I love ya girl. Big Huggggggsssss to you too
Karen
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343765 tn?1202526132
Thanks for the advice. I am keeping a diary. I try to write positive things down and stay away from the negative. I have had a terrible day to day but I tried to fight it and I took your advice and stayed in the bed all day. That is where I felt the best. I am glad to have a friend like you even if you are so far away. You are always close to my thoughts. I keep prayng for your recovery. You are a special person. Are you orginally from Africa? I bet you have a beautiful accent. I do.. I have a hillbilly one. LOL. What they say about Southern girls is not true though we don't say barefoot and pregnant. How is your precious little one today? I told my co-workers about the hat. They thought that it was precious. I did too. Thanks for your friendship. Keep those prayes coming. God Bless you and your family and I hoep that you get better everyday.
Karen
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Thanks Karen.  I'm pleased you did what you felt best and that was to stay in bed.  My little one keeps me going.  You might read what I posted this morning, it looks like my marriage is about to break down, and its come as a huge shock to me.  I had no idea this was coming and its hit me like a ton of bricks.  My husband says I've made our lives dull and boring and he can't stand it anymore.  Sadly I can do absolutely nothing about it.  Its not because I don't want to do things, it's because I am unable to thanks to my health problems.  Never mind that bit about "in sickness and in health...".

To answer your questions, yes I was born in South Africa in a small town called Warmbaths, named after the natural springs in the area, which are hot and promote good health (maybe I did not swim in the water enough as a kid).  I do have an accent, but because I'm english speaking it isn't as strong as if I was afrikaans are from a black background.  Many american people think our accent is australian.  Here in SA we do say barefoot and pregnant ha ha.

We have such a great country with so much potential, but sadly I see it sliding badly.  Sometimes I wish we could leave here because of the crime, but that is not going to happen.

Keep well.
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343765 tn?1202526132
Well it is midnight and I am lying here having my DEMONS keeping me awake. I have to
work tomorrow but they don't care.I am getting ready to snuggle with my hubby and see if he can relax me enough to make me fall asleep. I hope that you guys are having a restful nights sleep. I will talk to u tomorrow. Much love and lots of peace. God bless each of you. I have battled these things all day. I kept going though to see if I could keep my mind occupied. Helped some but I still had it in the back of my mind. My son came and prayed with me earlier so maybe I can relax and be ready to go to the old grind tomorrow. I wish it was time for vacation.
Love you all,
Karen
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402646 tn?1202525002
Hey Hun...I see u had a bad day like me yesterday...I wish we lived closer...cause sometimes when I am feeling that low...I just need a *hugg* and maybe u do too...I don't think my depression/anxiety meds are working anymore...I have been taking Zoloft for 8 years now and I just don't think it is as effective as it used to be...I go to the dr on the 5th for my 2nd opinion and I am going to ask about a change for that...I haven't felt a hop, skip, or jump...well I don't think I have...since Feb 20th...I am not really sure anymore what I am feeling...I just know that I sit here scared to death waiting for it to happen and I know that is NO way to live...I had to lol when I seen what u said about taking your pulse...my fingers are permanently attached to my wrist and I keep a stop watch with me at all times to take my pulse...Pathetic...am I not...lol...well...I guess I better try to do something today...Hope to talk to u soon...God Bless...Love ya...***Huggssss****
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343765 tn?1202526132
Hey you. Sorry it took so long to get back to you but I AM FEELING LOW. I never worry about my heart rate just my rhythm. Strange huh?I wish we lived closer to each other too. I love hugs and lots of them. I get my monitor tomorrow. I am just thrilled. I actually am scared, I don't know why. I wish I had an answer. I guess we both get to go the doc tomorrow. Hey keep me posted. I will you too.Love you my special friend.God Bless YOU!!!
Karen
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343765 tn?1202526132
Just wanted to thank everyone for keeping this thread going. I think that it is awesome. I just couldn;t wait to get home to see my responses and others. I think it is great that it has lasted this long. I love you guys and all your helpful advice. Take care and God Bless you all.
Big hugs from Tennessee
Karen
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363281 tn?1353103243
I have been reading all the posts in this thread, and I swear, they all sound like me. Talk about crying, man, that is all I do and I can sure relate to all the fears, etc that everyone is experiencing. I have both books by Claire Weekes, they are awesome, I wore one out carrying it around so much and reading it. I used to be lots better at practicing what she taught, but now, I am awful, my anxiety just runs away.

My post will bump this excellent thread to the top, it will be so helpful for newer members to read too.

I hope all that have posted on this thread are doing well and better.
God bless you.
Hugs
Susie
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I was pleased to see so many people in the thread put their trust in the Lord. I have been posting on here for a while and have never interjected religion, but hey, it helps. I pray regularly and put my faith in Jesus. He will provide the strength you need. When you get down, read the book of Romans...anywhere in there. God Bless in the future.
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967168 tn?1477588089
wow glad someone bumped this thread in 2009, or I may have never found it with so much to read & absorb.

For me this is literally the case; these won't go away  - I have had them 24/7; every minute of every day  now for 6 months to a year now.    54,000 EXTRA beats on my holter test - I'm sure it's higher on a "bad" day.

Fatigue, breathlessness, chest pains, palpatations, dizziness, fainting, blackouts, swelling, skipped/missed beats, my throat feels "clogged" from my chest up and I can never lay on my back, headaches (sleep apnea maybe?)

They have made my life miserable and I want my "normal" life back like most of you.  I want to be able to go to the zoo again, walk, run & "play" with my children, without feeling like I'm going to have a heart attack or die at age 42.

I knew something was wrong but had no clue what it was until recently.  Knowing that I have nothing wrong "structurally" was a relief.  The PVC's every 3rd heartbeat (Bigeminy) all day all night is driving me crazy,  I have  PVC's ,VT, SVT's .   I'm told if I don't have ablation I will have heart failure and heart attacks, that just stopped me in our tracks.

No one knows how I feel though, my husband  does not understood what I have been going through, he's never sick even with a cold.  I feel he really thought I was "faking" until the cardiologist told us and sent me to an EP.  Now he feels so bad and cried as he put his head on my chest and told me I had to stick to our contract I still had 40 years left together.  
My s-i-l has 1 run a year on the normal and can't believe I have them all the time.  My f-i-l has major heart problems and an icd so he knows part of what I go through but his are once a year or so also.

Just talking about it has helped alot this past week, I'm still getting answers through this whirlwind of craziness and still have so many questions.

I wish my PcP would have paid attention to my EKG in April 2007, it showed frequent PVC's  but I didn't complain of anything so he just said eh nothing is wrong...well he was terribly mistaken according to the Cardiologist & EP - "any doctor worth his salt" should have picked up on those details lol
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970345 tn?1461201096
From what I read about cardiac ablation, it seems like it has a high success rate.  Is it true that this is done because a part of the heart is damaged?  Sorry, I'm learning as I go along and feel so bad that you're living in the constant state of extra beats.  Is the procedure scheduled or are you going for another opinion.  I think too many doctors write off PVC's as "nothing" to be concerned about.
Keeping you in my thoughts,
Sami
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967168 tn?1477588089
Thanks Sami - from what I've read and drs told me they have a 90% success rate - for the "normal abnormal" beats with ablation - I believe the number he quoted me was 6 -8000.  Mine are outrageous and he said he had never heard of anyone having this many and gave me about 40% but then I may have to have it redone.

I've had this rate for 6 mths - 1 year at these rates that I can recall,  I have NO heart damage whatsoever even though. no heart damage they know of yet until they do surgery :)  they said my heart is "structurally normal", which Im still in shock over.

I have surgery scheduled for next week, but I "stepped on the doctor's toes" by going for a second opinion and his office never called back to confirm the time and set up my tilt table test & pre-surgery bloodwork :(

I've had a heck of a time getting their office to forward my files to the other EP for an evaluation or for them to send them to me.  I finally called and told them if it wasn't sent within the business day,  I was going to file a formal complaint with my insurance co.; I got my records release within 2 min! [grin]
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970345 tn?1461201096
Oh good, I'm glad you took an aggressive approach to your doctor's lack of response and concern!!  Who cares what "toes" we step on when it comes to our health and well being!  It's amazing what a few little words can do to speed up the process :).
Yes, I did a lot of reading on the ablation, but usually there is some damage there, maybe something that wasn't picked up on the tests.  In any event, I'm glad you're going for another opinion and I hope this takes care of all your extra beats, etc.  It seems to work in so many cases similar to yours.  Unless someone has experienced this, they are clueless as to how much it can control our every movement, literally.  Please keep me posted, I am truly interested and concerned.
I am going this morning for my event monitor..hopefully they can give me some answers, albeit, it is not nearly like yours, but to each of us, it is our own personal hell that we live through and fight to get out of.  We will win this battle though!
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967168 tn?1477588089
When I first went in, my pcp now told me he thought I had valve damage from Phentermine which was prescribed to me by a physician in one of the clinic's satellite offices.  He said he was appalled that a doctor of his stature (30 years) had signed off on my EKG & files.  He looked over everything and said he would "act like he didn't see the EKG" but advised me to go outside of the clinic for a second opinion & "do something about this".

He sent me to a cardiologist in their clinic affiliation so he would have full say so over my case & file.  When I went back to see him this past Friday he said "they say you don't have any valve damage or heart damage"  which he replied, "hmmm interesting I'm rarely ever wrong" lol.  He was an ER doctor for over 10 years and did diagnostics alot he said, and he's just the type of person you feel you can trust when you meet him.

What are they not telling me I wonder and that's why I want an opinion outside of this medical clinic and affiliation.  Maybe I'm just being overly paranoid with the problems I've had with doctors in the past 10-15 years, I really hope that's the case.

Whether it's 1,000, 10,000 or 50,000 PVC's,  extra beats, or just the feeling of not being able to breathe, none of this is comfortable.   I can't imagine the frustration people go through if a doctor tells them there's nothing wrong and nothing to worry about - I'd like those doctors to have to suffer through what we're all going through and then say it's nothing.

I'm actually looking forward to seeing a new EP and see what she says about the chances ablation will work, or if that's what I need.

Please post and let me know how your holter goes & what they say.
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