Sitting here having PVC's and PAC's one after another!!!

[Sunshine47]

Hey guys, I am having a pity party. I have had it with these stupid beats. I am worn out with it and if I could talk the Doc into it I would go right now to have my 2nd ablation. I want to be free again. I am getting on everyones nerves at my house and I  am getting on my own nerves. I would love to have the past 6 years back. Is that being greedy? I can't understand what started them up again. I know that the doc said that they could be new troubled spots but are they going to keep continuing to come back time and time again? I have lost 13 pounds and have given up everything that I know of that have flared them off in the past. I barely eat, I barley leave the house for personal time, I hate to drive now. I am a WRECK!!!!!! I want my life BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cry all the time, I am scared all the time, I hate this type of life. I am usually a fun, outgoing, hardworking person. Now I feel like I have laid down and given up. My 99 year old Grandma has more life in her than I do. I am not scheduled until the first of Feb. for my workup. I don't think I can wait. I am sitting here strongly thinking about going to the ER and asking them to admit me so that I can get it over with. I a feed up, at wits end. I want peace. I know that I this won't hurt you but it is so debilitating. I am SCREAMMMMMINNNNGGGGG now!!!! Sorry guys I had to get that out of my system. Keep praying for me and I will let you all know what I decide to do. If it weren't for you all I would be motified. You all that have commented me back have been wonderful hope and strength for me. My quality of life has went from spectacular to pathetic. Well I am going to go to my room and continue my pity party there. Take care guys and thanks for listening.
Karen in Tennessee and wishing for a miracle.

[Sunshine47]

To all the great people who have responded I never knew there were so many people that really cared. I wish I had a magic cure for all of us and we could enjoy life to its fullest. Sometimes I look around and see people that seem normal and I get sad. That is so stingy of me.I wonder why me? Why was it me that got this "thing" that I have. Then I have to think that God only gives it to the ones that he knows can handle it. Just like he gives special people a handicapped child. There is a reason for everything. I know that. I think that all things are possible through our Lord Jesus Christ. I hope that my religion doesn't offend anyone. I have to say it. I am a believer and I lean on the Lord for everything that I do throughout the day. Sometimes I think I lean to much, but I am his child and he wants us to. Just like your children count on you to help them when they are hurt or sick. I don't have many friends, because of my illness. I have lost alot of them becasue I can't party with them or keep up with them. I guess a true friend is a person who takes all your goods with your bads. That is why I am so glad that I have found you all. I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers that are going up for me for Thursday. I am scared but not to the point of panic. I know that what will be will be. To everyone this thread has made my days wonderful.I can't wait to get home from work to read them. They honestly make a big smile on my face. Not someone feeling bad but all the nice things that people have to say and the true compassion that everyone has for each other.I hope that I have good news soon. Take care to you all and God Bless you all. Love you from the bottom of my messed up little heart.<3.
A great big hug from a Tennessee Hillbilly!!!
Karen

[Sunshine47]

I appreciate your opinion. You are right in voicing your opinion. Everyone has that right. I know that not everyone has the same religious upbringing. I respect that.I respect you for who you are not for what religion you are. You are very special to me. You have been through alot and yes I do believe that God throws things at us to make us stronger and be able to cope. You are strong and I feel so weak sometimes. But I will overcome it, I have before and I can now. My son is very sensitive and he cares so much and I have not been a fun Mom but a caring mom,I want my kids to remember me as being an awesome person that liked to have a good time and someone that they could always count on. I appreciate everyones comments and prospectives on all my many issues. A big thanks goes out to a bunch of wonderful people. I too Thinline wish I could meet all of you guys. Do you think that we would be taking our pulse? LOL. I would. Hopefully the 28th will help me find peace. Keep praying for me and I will do the same for you.
Take care and I will keep you updated as the events unfold. Love you bunches, A big Tennessee Hug.
Karen

[MissCowboysFan]

Well, as I sit here and read all of these I have to kind of smile, a little bitter sweetly, knowing that somebody (a lot of people evidently) have the same problems.  I am definitely praying & well wishing for each of you.  I have had every test in the book much like you WvMom & they have told me it is nothing.  Then I will have days like today where I am having a one with every other beat of my heart.  I have scheduled an appt with my Cardiologist (same guy who said there was nothing wrong the first time) but this time am basically going to ask the questions that I want answered, and expect a straight forward answer.  Sunshine - definite prayers & well wishes to you for your operation & the outcome.  I hope everything goes well.  I could ask everyone here who is a God fearing person to pray for me, to pray that I will get some faith in me.  I have been so short on faith, so much so that I haven't asked God to help with my medical problems.  I have been suffering so much with this anxiety that I haven't been able to ask the one source that I KNOW will help me TO help me.  I guess I need to get goin on the use of my mustard seed!  

Anyway, I will let everyone know what my cardio says next week.  And many prayers to you all.

[Thinline]

Hi Karen.  Can you believe that the 28th is almost here?  So soon now and you'll be ok again.  I read the e-mail your son sent you and it touched my heart in some places, but to be honest, in others bits it made me angry.

You are feeling horrible, having a dodgy heart is scary and exhausting, you have the added stress of your husband not being well.  In my opinion, if you are having a bad day due to the very real problem with your heart, and you feel too tired or afraid to get up, then you have every right in the world to stay in bed.

Nobody can "imagine" how it feels when your symptoms start going mad.  It is hard.  It is scary.  It affects every bit of you and your life.  It is impossible to explain to someone how it feels if they have not felt it themselves.

Your son obviously adores you, but I got the sense he's angry at you, and that he's losing his compassion.  I'm religious to a degree, but not hugely so, I think the Jewish perception is a bit different to the Christian perception.  I don't for a moment believe that God will jump in and restore me to perfect health.  I think that God is teaching me how to deal with what I've got, the good and the bad.

I am still praying for you, and wish you all the very best for the 28th.  I hope your son gets his wish to see his mommy back to how she used to be, but Karen, if you want to stay in bed because you feel bad, then do it.

I wish I could meet a whole lot of people from this forum, especially this thread.  We'd have a good laugh.

Big storm coming, so I'm off to bed.

Goodnight everyone, and stay healthy.

[iamfaithful]

Wow, that is all I can say is WOW!!  I read your post sunshine and I just kept shaking my head reading your sons words to you....and he is 22.  My kids are younger and they had to fend for themselves back in the summer, my oldest was their mother for months.  They would know when Mommy didn't feel well or was "sick."  My middle child made her own lunch one morning and I cried watching her.  Back then (it seems so long ago) I cried about everything.  My oldest who is 16 now seemed tired and depressed and I knew it was because of me and it hurt me to no end watching what I was doing to my kids, but it was like I couldn't snap out of my funk.  I have done much better, but there are days when I snap at the kids or I don't have the patience to listen to a story about what happened at school...those are days when the PVC's are controlling me.  My kids mean EVERYTHING to me and it tears me up when I can't be the old mommy that I used to be.  I pray that all of us will oneday not let these horrid quirks ruin our lives and learn to live and be thankful for what God has given us.  My faith is not where it should be sunshine, but it's much further then it was a  year ago.  My prayer are with you and your husband, and I know that everything will work out for your good on the 28th.

[bumble72]

wow!  I have just sat and read all of these posts and i hope you don't mind me jumping in.
I joined this forum last night and can't believe I am not alone in feeling this way.  I too am letting it control my life and i've only had it since January.  I am really scared.  I don't know how different it is but I get SVT not pvc or pacs.
I have sat here crying reading all the posts, I am a childminder and have tried to hide my tears from the children.
Then the postman delivered our mail, there were 2 cards from family wishing me well - made me cry even more.

Sunshine47 - I hope your hubby is ok and I will be thinking of you on Thursday sending positive vibes.
Wvmomof3 - I too would be getting a 2nd opinion, people who don't have this just don't understand how awful it is.
Thinline - bless your little boy.  my son is also 6 and that is the sort of thing he'd do.  one morning I was having an "attack" he came downstairs and made me my breakfast and bought it up on a tray.  it consisted of a banana, some tic-tacs, and a drink of orange squash in a childs sports bottle!!  I really cried.

I sincerely wish everyone all the best and thankyou all for telling your stories.

Caroline xx