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im so tired of feeling as if im going to die everyday because of my hea...
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im so tired of feeling as if im going to die everyday because of my heart. plz help

Im really to my wits end and have no clue what to do anymore. i dont even know if this is the right place to post but i want to talk to anyone that knows how i feel right about now.   I am 26yr old female, i have a beautiful 3 yr old, she is my LIFE, and i am 9 months preg with baby boy! if it werent for my children i seriously would have no "hope" or positive outlook on life anymore.  I have been going to dr's for 3 yrs now, the order as follows, primary dr, a few er visits, cardiologist, a few more er visits, psychiatrist, therapist, neurologist. Im so sick of it i cant deal anymore.
             life started going downhill fast after my emergency c section with my daughter. as i lay in bed afterwards i kept telling the nurses and drs that my chest hurt terribly, i couldnt breathe and i could feel this strange pressure/tickling feeling with each heartbeat all the time especially when in a lying down position. they all said i was fine. for the next 2 1/2 years or so i dealt with this horrible feeling, on top of very bad pvc's occuring every 3 beats. I would make people put their ear to my chest cause they didn't believe me that my heart would stop. and when it "stopped" they just looked at me like i was gonna drop dead or something. i was living in constant fear and panic. i developed anxiety, fear of being alone because i thought i was going to die, and very very bad panic disorder , that would cause severe panic attacks multipe times daily i was on so much medications for the panic disorder, then they assumed i was bipolar, my cardiologist had me on toprol and i was going in for tests all the time.  
        i know there is problems with my heart!!!! but its like none of the dr's think its serious because they say im too young to have problems. well here it is.........
I have "hole in my heart in the upper two chambers, some septo something defect....i have mitral valve prolaps, sinus tachacardia, (my heart gets stuck on race mode and i end up in the emergency room so they can stop it.....it just wont stop on it own, an irregular heart rhythm, heart murmur,  i have pvc's that are the worst thing in the world , i assume thats what they are i feel like im dying when i get them , my heart thuds and stops and i need to sit up quickly of move to make it start again. i cant sleep anymore because the pvc's are sooooooooo BAD!!!!!! every few beats, i cant breathe, i get dizzy, i know its more than a pvc.....

i had an ekg done while having sinus tachacardia of 151 bpm, and then it slowed to 105  i have no clue how to read those things and all across the top it said, irregular rhythm, no p wave found, ventricular premature complexes.., (pvc's) , st & t abnormality, consider anterolateral ischemia or left ventricular strain, and inferior ischemia or left ventricular strain....my second ekg afterwards said.........sinus tachacardia, st & t abnormality, consider high lateral ischemia, or left ventricular strain, inferior ischemia or left ventricular strain
im so tired of this i cant keep doing this for years not knowing whats going on with my heart can anyone tell me whats going on? my cardio just says im too young to "die" from these irregularities and they are nothing serious?? doesnt make sense.  i cant take the toprol because i am pregnant and very worried about it but im worried about labor and not surviving it.  ALL of these problems started after my daughters birth ....c section. why? my whole family is worried , and im driving everyone nuts cause i cant be left alone at home cause im scared of dying and no one knowing. can someone put my mind at ease? or offer advice?
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I think we have some members who will pitch in with some helpful ideas and experience that relates to your suffering.  I write mostly to let you know you post is being read and your fear is understood and we care and want too for you to find some relief.

It does seem clear that you have to somehow, I don't know how (think about your daughter and yet to be born son come to mind) , move your mind to positive thoughts and optimism and a belief that you will get better.

There are many thing that can be done, to settle you heart, but from what you've told us I don't think some of them are yet in order.  Perhaps a ablation could provide some long term improvement, this has to be discussed with your cardiologist.  

I'm a guy so I have no knowledge of the stress of child birth but I do doubt that could cause you to have ongoing heart problems.  I also don't think a HR of 151, while technically tachycardia, is particularly high or threatening for a young person.  That HR would just be a "good" cardio rate for exercise in my mind/thinking.  I'm not trying to minimize in any way how it affects you, but I say what I did in the hope that it provides some calming benefit.  

It does sound like you should have some additional heart tests, perhaps a long term monitor/recorder and perhaps an echocardiogram to look at the physical condition of your heart.

We do have young members in this Community who have a pace maker to hold their heart rhythm in a more controlled state, perhaps one will read you post and share their experience and advice.

Try to think and celebrate Christmas ... tomorrow night is Christmas Eve, have faith that you will get better.  I will wish and pray for you to get better, even a miracle cure.  
Jerry gave some good advice. Here's what I can add. I have a little girl who will be turning 3 soon, and just discovered I have some problems with my heart this past year, so I can definitely relate to that kind of anxiety and fear. Sometimes I think about "what if..." and it's just the worst. I don't want to miss watching and helping her grow up, and I don't want her to miss having her papa growing up, either. The problem is, having these dreadful thoughts aren't very helpful. Maybe they remind us just how important it is to live every day like it's our last, but then the catch there is if you've got this constant awful worry about what's going to happen, it's impossible to live in the present moment.

It sounds like you've got quite a lot to deal with, and I know that trying to get this stuff figured out and solved can be incredibly frustrating, only adding to your anxiety. I think the important thing here is to take it one step at a time, and do what you can to enjoy the present moment and try to put your worry about what the future may bring aside. Try to focus on what you can control and not on what you can't.

I know it's not easy and I know one of the hardest times for me when I'm feeling anxiety is bedtime, so I very much understand the misery of sleeplessness. Everything is quiet and I have nothing to distract my mind with and thoughts about my heart can't help but creep in. Anyway, just know that you are definitely not alone. One of the things I've found to be helpful is to read a lot of posts on these forums, and you will see that there's a lot of people going through similar things, and just knowing that it's not just you does indeed ease the mind a little bit.
I just want to say that I know how you feel. I had heart arrithmia for a very long time, but resently it got very bad and completely took over my life. For the past two months I am afraid to go outside, stay all day with cell phone in my hand and am afraid to go to sleep. I don't know if i am panicky and that's why my heart acts up or if I am panicky because of the feelings in my chest. To make the matter worst I am ununsured. The only thing that kind of helps me to relax is something funny - doing puzzles. I am addicted to sudoko.
Thank u everyone for responding, it means the world to me to know someone hears me and others can share my feelings, i know how terrible this panic and worry is, and I wish no one ever had to feel this way. I have been taking magnesium pills and seems to be helping slightly or it's just coincidence. But my pvcs are ruining my life.   I even talk to therapist about my anxiety and constant fear of death. I know If I didn't have the pvcs or tachacatdia, I wouldn't be living in constant fear... And I know therapist cardio dr tell me I'll be fine but it really offers me no comfort cause the constant worry is always in my mind.   My tachacatdia got up to 180 while in the er.    I have been takin to hospital by ambulance twice because of it.  My pulse goes from 70-90 then suddenly jumps to 150  to 180 until they gave me some injection which slowed it. I'm just scared cause even my cardio dr says if my heart rate is 140-150 for 15 min.     Go to er..... I'm scared to travel scared to be away from help or hospital it's really a large impact on my life. it's depressing. Sometimes I feel like I can't deal with this feeling and fear everyday, like it's gonna end anyways cause my heart is gonna kill me soon, but my kids are the ones that keep me goin.  I just get real angry that any one would have to deal with  this or suffer, it seems so unfair. I know people are in much worse situations than me.   Medically.... My heart goes out to them. It's beginning to feel like a game of torture between my heart and my mind.... My heart stops... It starts... It stops... It starts... Like death and living are just a beat away. It's really getting to me .        
When life starts to get insane, there's only one way to sane
and that is to courageous and ride the snake!

Don't let the snake manipulate you into depression or fear.
Get on top of it and be the master :)   - I hope that makes sense.

I'm in a very similar situation as you,
in fact today's situation was totally crazy and on top of that my tachycardia started
acting up.

I also think that one day i'm just gonna drop,
but doctor's don't seem worried so i just have to trust them :)
It was Xmas today and where was I this morning?? In the emergency room of course,   Im back on the beta blockers.    So far I took toprol it hasn't helped the PVC s.   The whole time I was in hospital I was in sinus tach.  And was have a dew PVC s.   But could not replicate the ones I was having at nite.   I was getting bad ones again.   Heart stops until I sat up.     Scary.  They think baby is blocking my blood to the heart making me have the heart stop episodes.     I am convinced I'm gonna die from this. :(
I have suffered from with arrhythmia for 16 years and in the beginning I was a lot like you as far as my anxiety and interpretations of what's happening.  It's Catch-22, you feel your pvc's, they cause you anxiety which in turn amps up your arrhythmia/tachycardia.  Being pregnant with excessive hormones flowing through your body does not settle things either.  Be patient with yourself until you give birth, and when these thoughts enter your head turn your attention to your nostrils and the breath that goes in and out.  Do some light breathing exercises, count to 4 as you inhale in a relaxed manner through your nose and count to 6 as you exhale.  Do this in an unforced, gentle manner.  Your mind will keep on trying to go back to the heart, drop the thought and go back to your nostrils and feel the air going in and out.  I know this sounds small in comparison to the anxiety you feel, but keep doing it, every time the thoughts and anxiousness come upon you.  And esp. do it when you feel fine in order to train your body to relax when you most need it.  Believing what the doctors are saying to you (that you will be fine) is hard to accept in the middle of these events, but in the end, we have to trust that they know to recognize any life threatening situations.  You have given them plenty of opportunities to decipher your heart and they are still convinced that you are in no danger.  Now you must believe it too.  I do sympathize with you completely on how difficult it is to do.  Moment after moment, push aside the troubling thoughts and in the end you will convince yourself more and more that you will survive these disagreeable manifestations.  
Everything in life changes and passes, so as you get the arrhythmia, thing how this event will also pass.  Hang in there, you WILL be fine.
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