Hi,
What was the condition that lead to him getting one in the first place?
You are right to be apprehensive about the ICD lead, I sure know I would be. Removing leads is much more riskier than implanting. There are several doctors in the US that are experts at removing leads and knowing when to leave them alone. I would ask his doctor what his experience is in removing leads and maybe ask for a second opinion. Leads don't always have to be removed either to have another one implanted. Ask about this option also.
It seems overwhelming right now for you after all that he has been through but defibrillators can be a lifesaver, it would be a shame to have one implanted in your chest but not be working when needed.
I know there is a lot to worry about with any surgery but, if it was me, I'd want the protection of the defibrillator - it was put in for a reason. I'd be worried even more without it.