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Need dating advice
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Need dating advice

I have Hep B probably from birth as my mom died of liver cancer and all siblings are infected.  I am 43.  I have a blood test and a liver scan every six months.  My doc is happy with my readings all the time and no treatment is needed.

I was married for 21 years.  I did not realize that I was a Hep B carrier when I got married.  My husband did not get vaccinated but was immuned. I turned widowed two years ago.  I started dating again recently.  I have developed a distanced relationship with a man for a few months.  I have told him that I am a Hep B carrier but we have not talked about protection and vaccination.  Our relationship is not that deep yet.  We met last week.  This was our third date and we tuned in for each other.  We spent the night together.  I could not possibly leave a man in bed and did nothing.  We kissed and I helped him out orally.  I was so alert that I did not even want him to touch my genital.  Now I worry if he would be infected by kissing and me performing oral sex for him.

He left town the next day.  I felt so guilty that I emailed him and told him why I did not have full sex with him.  I think I have scared him away.                  
Tags: Advice, scared
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181575_tn?1250202386
The first thing you should do is learn more about your disease and become comfortable with it.  If you are not comfortable, how can you expect your partner to be.

If you understand this disease, then you know your partner has absolutely no risk.  If immune, partner is no risk.  If not immune, get vaccinated, become immune, and again no risk.  

If you can't explain this and be around the bushes, then yes, you will scare your partner away.  

Good luck.
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3 Comments Post a Comment
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751470_tn?1268502109
Oral sex? Though I don't have enough data to support my fears, I would not indulge someone who is not vaccinated. Make sure he is vaccinated and he tests positive for antibodies.
If I were in his place, I would do the following:
1. Test for HBsAg to know if I have been a carrier all along, without my knowledge.
2. Test for HBsAb to see if I am immune.
3. Follow further instructions from: http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/rr5516a3.htm
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181575_tn?1250202386
The first thing you should do is learn more about your disease and become comfortable with it.  If you are not comfortable, how can you expect your partner to be.

If you understand this disease, then you know your partner has absolutely no risk.  If immune, partner is no risk.  If not immune, get vaccinated, become immune, and again no risk.  

If you can't explain this and be around the bushes, then yes, you will scare your partner away.  

Good luck.
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Avatar_f_tn
First, thanks for the comments.

He panicked and was worried about transmission.  He read no information about Hep B although I had told him that I was a carrier.  It made me feel so bad.   He started to research on it.  I booked an appointment to see my doctor to get clarification.  My doc said his risk was minimal, almost zero, since we did not have actual intercourse.  Doc said it would require a high volume of body fluids or very long contact hours for the virus to pass on.  Kisses and oral sex were unlikely to do it.

I post this for information only and by no means I am suggesting that we can go without protection.  He said he has taken a vaccine yesterday.  I was caught in an unexpected situation and acted impulsively.  That caused unnecessary stress and concerns.  Please try your best to communicate with your partners before engaging into any sexual behavior.    
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