Im overly anxious and im starting to lose my grip on certain things, it's affecting my work, my life, and my relationship with my GF. I still havent told her that i have it even though we havent had actual sexual intercourse yet we have been "intimate" for 3x already and performed oral sex on each other.
Ok here's the timeline
July 15- french kissing, oral sex, and mutual masturbation
July 24- french kissing, oral sex, and mutual masturbation
Aug 06- french kissing, oral sex, and mutual masturbation
I avoided "penetration" even though she wanted it and I have a condom with me, i dont want to risk it.
Now, on July 24, i noticed that i have a cold sore...
Now, she's born 1983 and i dont know if she had the vaccine, and it's now a month already after our earliest "encounter" . BUT she already had a few boyfriends before so...
Here are my stats
SGPT/ ALT 22.06
HBSAG2 quantification 7100/ IU/ ml +
HBEAG 0.374 -
anti HBE 0.020 -
anti hbs 0.00 mIU/ ml -
Here are my questions.
1. What is the % will I be able to possibly infect her if she isnt vaccinated?
2. How many "encounters" should one have before one gets infected?
3. How many buckets, drops, ml of infected blood does one need to get infected?
4. Is it still possible for her to get prophylaxis now that a month has already passed?
5. When will she show symptoms if ever she got infected?
6. Is 5log4 HBV DNA and 7100 IU/ml very infectious?
And now on the more "moral" obligations
1. How will I be able to tell her this? How will i say it?
2. If she rejects me... now what?
Im getting paranoid, sleepless nights, and im losing my grip on things. If she gets it or rejects me I may kill myself. Funny is that I got this disease when I was born and was able to defend myself. =/
I can not answer all the lab questions you have but morally you need to tell her. Just tell her the truth, how did you find out about your disease? It's not even about "what if she rejects me" because right now your putting someone else's life at risk. Yes you were born with it and you had no control over that. Do you really want her to have no choice as well? Most people will recover from infection, but for you to allow that risk is very selfish. She needs to know so she can get tested and vaccinated if not yet infected. The longer you do know and don't tell her, she will only resent you when she finds out your keeping this from her.
I know how you feel as I was in the same boat. I was with my ex for 5 years and now we are not together because of my condition. Yes it kills me but we just have to learn to deal with it; easier said than done I know. Trust me you will regret it if you do not tell her.
I see... So you and your ex of 5 years broke up because of this? Our relationship is still young... I'm so afraid of losing her and Im also afraid that i may commit suicide if that happens... So I guess I have to prepare myself for the worst.
Ive been having sleepless nights already and my guilt and anxiety is killing me. Im afraid of growing old alone dying little by little because of this disease.
If God is real now is the best time that he'd make me feel his presence...
You shouldn't feel like commiting suicide, tons of research are being done and Im sure in your lifetime there will be a cure to get rid of this virus once and for all! Also just let her know she can easily get vaccinated and be protected from the virus and you guys can still be together and have nothing to worry about
I believe HbeAg negative people are less infectious than HbeAg+. Now it is good that you didn't had any penetration yet because most likely she is fine....But don't wait too long, the more you wait, the most risk you taking of losing her trust if you keep hiding it...
Just tell her as soon as possible, she will at least respect you for that, the rest depends on her...I told my husband the first time we met and he liked my honesty and now we are married and have a little boy...But I know exactly what you are going through, it is VERY STRESSFUL. Please don't think about suicide because life goes on whatever happens, if she leaves you because of Hepatitis, for me that means one thing: she doesn't care enough about you and you are better with someone else. Sometimes, it takes time to meet the right person so.
Another point, you don't really know if she has Hepatitis herself. Did she get tested? especially if she was with more that one person...Who knows? You should also think of protecting yourself.
Why not you suggest that she gets tested for all infectious diseases (HIV, HBV, HCV and STD) and then if she is fine you tell her that you have an HBV chronic infection and that she need to be vaccinated. You could also chose to have protected penetration... Good luck and let us know how things go for you!
I finally told her about my condition. Im not religious and certainly not a saint, but before confessing it to her I went to a church and prayed for guidance, strength, and enlightenment. I simply told God that I am surrendering everything to him and if ever she rejects me I will accept it and will try my best to move on with my life.
We met later in the day and I told her that before we progress any further she has to know something about me and it is something that shouldn't be kept a secret. I told her that i have Hep B and got it since I was a baby and all my siblings have it. I told her that HEP B is indeed a "SEXUAL TRANSMITTED DISEASE" but what hurts is that majority of chronic carriers didn't get it from sex but from their unknowing parent(s). I was close to tears when i was telling her the facts, the ways of transmitting it, liver cancer risks, etc, etc. She simply said...
"I WONT LEAVE YOU. AND IF YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT IM GONNA LEAVE YOU JUST BECAUSE OF THIS DISEASE THEN YOU ARE WRONG. IM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND WE'LL LIVE A HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER"
Im 6'x", muscular, and I cried buckets... I almost got dehydrated from crying. Imagine someone like that crying like a baby... All the time I was thinking of a heartbreak, was getting paranoid, was expecting the worst of the worst. The next day, we went to a specialist and had him explain things to us which enlightened us more.
We also had 2 tests on her...
The next day I remember waiting for the results with her, i was holding her hand and almost breaking her hand because of nervousness when i was handed the envelope. I was like in a movie as if seconds were hours and everything was in slo-mo...
Then when i saw the results...
1. HBSAG- NONREACTIVE
2. ANTI-HBSAG- NONREACTIVE
She doesnt have it!!!
I scheduled her for HBV vaccination this Friday, if all goes well she'll be forever immune and i can simply go back living my life but in a MUCH healthier way :)
I learned the ff in this ordeal of mine...
1. TRUE LOVE CONQUERS CHRONIC HBV
2. ORAL SEX ALONE, even many, many times isnt enough to infect an UNimmunized person. (I am HBSAG +, HBEAG -, PRECORE MUTANT, HBVDNA 4xxxx, in IMMUNO SUPPRESSION STAGE)
3. The sooner you tell your partner, the better
4. The truth will set you free ( from anxieties, fear of rejection, paranoia)
Oh wowwww, I am so glad you were able to speak up and decided to do the right thing. I am impressed because you were ready for every possibility. IT's great that she is supporting you, you must feel relieved, I am so happy for you!
Thanks for sharing your story and wish both of you a lots of happiness and babies ;)
Are you being treated by any drug?
I had interferon treatment 2 years ago, was able to bring my HBVDNA to UND levels but 2 years after i "relapsed" . I don't have money anymore to have another round of interferon treatment... All i can do is to live a healthy life and try to make the most out of it :)
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