? Need Advice

[scaredgirl33]

Here's some background first I'm married and have a three year old. After having my daughter I became a herion user, while attending rehab I tested positive for hep. C, I am now clean from drugs and my husband wants to have another baby. I have yet to even tell him about the hep. C. I hear chances of me giving it to him through intercourse are low and I hear chances of transmitting it to the baby are low too, so if I chose to not tell anyone and got pregant again, does anyone know if they do any testing on the mother after giving birth, because I've been told that states require testing on mothers after giving birth.

[kittychaos]

even if they test you after birth by law it is patient doctor privilage and they cant release that information..I have heard that having a C section decreases the risk more of passing the virus to your baby ask your doctor. You really should tell your husband...he is going to be mad at first because you didnt tell him sooner but keep in mind that he supported you through rehab..talk to you doctor he will probably have some good suggestions on how to talk to your husband..if you decide to go through treatment your going to need his support.

[MrsOckert]

You cannot take a chance of passing this on to your next child.  There are a couple women here who have children with HCV that they passed it to.  Whether the chances are low or not, it CAN happen.  Surely you wouldn't want to take a chance????

You have to tell your husband.  Your best shot at getting rid of it is now before you've had it for years and years and years.

You can't keep this a secret.  I'm sorry.

[jmjm530]

Sexual transmission with monagamous couples is very low. Same with the chances of passing it on to your child. A number of women here have had babies while Hepatitis C positive and that shouldn't be a reason not to have a child IMO. On the other hand, treatments are available, but I see that as a related, but separate issue. Best person to help you sort this out -- odds of transmission to baby and whether you should treat or not -- is a liver specialist (hepatologist). Hepatolologists can usually be found at your larger, teaching hospitals. Tell the doctor everything, listen carefully, think about it, and then make some decisions. Kitty has a good point that your doctor may have some good suggestions on how to talk to your husband, or maybe he can talk to him as well. I'm sure you'll get more advice here on that as well.

All the best,

-- Jim

[goldenrule]

i had hep c when i gave birth to my son and did not know I had it. He was not even exposed. Bottom line though, you need to be up front with hubby. I know at first it doesnt seem like it, but THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!!!. It is tooo much on one to keep a secret like this...  The anxiety will kill you before the hep will!!!! You have made it through soo much, and i know, i can relate!! Believe me when I tell you that getting this secret out will benefit EVERYONE INVOLVED...Especially your children...

Good luck to you, Hope you come back and keep us posted.There is support here, and a wealth of information.. You are not alone, there are several people here who have gone through the same experiences as you.. You have already proved your strength by getting off the drugs...Now it is time for the next step of a "healthy life" IT IS OBTAINABLE!!! but it is important that you make the right deceisions!!

[nygirl7]

Wow imagine how mad your husband will be if the baby is born positive and finds out you didn' tell him?

Now is the perfect time to let him know.  You can say you just had a checkup to make sure all things are in order before you had a baby but...sorry...ooops....

But seriously, this is a very big secret.  Let alone the fact that you aren't doing anything to see how bad your liver damage might be or anything - you might just keel over.  I would NOT consider having a baby BEFORE you find out what is going on with YOU.  Your body might not be able to handle all of the complications of childbirth and all it's changes.  Plus...if you do get sick from the hep you are not going to be able to care for a newborn - they are just SO much work.

Good luck, I hope you let the husband know and you take care of YOURSELF before you have a baby. A baby is a big deal and a SERIOUS consideration.  We'll all be rooting for you.

Of course that is just MY opinion...

[jmjm530]

NYGirl has a very good point about telling your husband before you have the child. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have the child, but it should really be a joint decision. That said, I think she paints somewhat of a worst case scenario in terms of your fitness for childbirth,  however seeing a liver specialist before conceiving is important to really find out what is going on in your body.

[goldenrule]

sounds like you just contracted heo in the last few years, you will be fine giving birth.... i was fine

[gizmoesgirl]

WOW...I can't even imagine keeping something this huge from my husband he would have been sooooo angry at me for that!  You HAVE to tell your husband.  I would do my research on having another child before I made a decision.  Do research about the treatment and what it consists of, I wouldn't want to willingly risk my babies health and suffering throught treatment for anything!  Bottom line is tell your husband, get better, then have a baby.  Or you could even adopt!  But please don't willingly take the chance low or not of giving this to your baby!

[goldenrule]

you can have the baby... please dont abort!!!!! that is a gift from GOD and HE has a plan for that child. The answer is to be honest and you CAN have a healthy baby. Think about treatment after the baby's birth

[Myown]

I congratulate you on being drug free and now you have to work on stopping the lies and deception that come with being a drug adddict. I don't mean that to hurt you, but to help you. You still have the mind set of a drug addict because obviously your conscience is still seared in that you actually think its okay to lie to your husband who has supported you through your difficult time. How could you possibly think of doing this? An addict always does whats best for THEMSELVES. Do you see that you are still so concerned about SELF? Again, I'm trying to help you - not hurt you and I apologize if you feel hurt by what I say. You can't be thinking of having a baby just to "please your husband," because "honesty" would have pleased him more if he contracts hepatitus (hepatitis) C from you. You are doing this possibly because you are afraid he will leave you? He knew you were a drug addict, and I'm sure he knows there are diseases that a person can contract from IV drug use, so I really think you are worrying about something that he is not going to be mad about, but instead he will be worried about you as are all of our spouses, but in time they adjust. The only other reason I could think of why you re not telling him is because maybe this is a 'new husband' that doesn't know your past?

Plus the other thing is you told us that "now your clean". None of us know how long "now" has been. You became a drug addict AFTER your child was born, so you may have other issues that haven't been dealt with either. Most mothers put their child before themselves. Thats why we love our mothers. You didn't do that, you had a child and BECAME  a drug addict. AGAIN I am not knocking you, I am just putting a mirror in front of you. We all have flaws, personality flaws and problems in general. You have to make sure your life is 'together' before bringing another child into the world. Maybe the pressure of being a mother made you turn to drugs the last time and it would be sad to see that happen again. It doesn't have to happen. You gave up the drugs, now give up the lies and deception - you are no longer an addict - drop the baggage.

As much as I love my husband, if he had hep c and he kept it a secret from me(which he would never do) and I found out, he could pack his bags. Let the whole church talk about me, I don't care, he would have to leave.

And again congratulations on being drug free.

[Myown]

you can have the baby... please dont abort!!!!!
----------------------------------------
she's not pregnant yet - or thats how I read the post.

[meki]

Wow --- OK - first congrats on kicking a very hard habit.

But part of kicking an addiction - means honesty --- honesty with yourself and everyone around you.

Go get a new Hep Screen - take Hubby in with you - get him tested as well.

When you come up positive - and he does or does not - then you will be able to "hear" the news together.

YOu must tell him.

You simply must.

I understand it will be the hardest thing in your life to tell him.

But it is not fair for you to know you have this disease - and to be exposing him to him to it unknowingly - is almost the worst thing you can do.

Make up a way to let him know.

And don't assume you got HCV through IV drug use --- Because I certainly didn't.

It can happen to ANYONE and at ANYTIME.

Stop carrying this weight by yourself.

And there are many healthy children born to HCV pos mothers - my child was born while I was infected --- and probably almost just out of acute phase.

There are precautions that can be taken - and vertical transmission does happen - but it is low.

And who knows - maybe you can achieve SVR --- and I haven't heard of SVR mothers passing it on.

Hugs --- and do the right thing === YOU are ALREADY on the RIGHT track - just keep moving in the right direction.

Meki

[kcrandy]

wow  i thought this was not a judgemental group!!!!!

scared i am not going to say that there were not some good suggestions made here but i can say from experience that "not honesty is always the best policy"  it sounds to me a lot of people are putting the cart before the horse.  i am attendimga 12 step na group for 14 years march 2008, and have been clean for that same amount of time from all types of "drugs"  and of all the people i have seen go thru the process of finding recovery from the disease of drugs and the abuse of said drugs some of the very same people who say be honest go make everything right in the world and you will be set free those very same  people found out the hard way and are either dead from drug usage or are still out there using as we speak.   from what i have seen from my extensive drug research i did for 36 years is to this day i am not ultimately 100% sure were i got my hep-c from.i guess what i would do  for me is to get myself better (by going to an na group and  work there program to get myself better)is make sure i know what i am being "totally honest" about and to whom i decide is the right person to be honest to!   you will see that when i respond to a post i respond as if i was the doing the action and i am not a doctor and i am only one of many in here who are trying to beat this virus hep-c and i hope you do the same.

MY DEFINITION OF LOVE IS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU LOVE SOMEONE


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[Tippyclubb]

Not sharing the fact you have HCV with your husband must be an awful burden on you.  Its hard enough to have this virus, let alone trying to hide it from your husband.  Hiding the truth only adds to your stress level.  If you can't confide in your husband ( best friend ) then something is wrong.   He stayed with you throughout your herion use and rehab.  Chances are good after all of that, he loves you enough to stay with you for better or worse.  If he doesn't then you don't need him.

Please don't consider having a child without being honest with your husband first.  It would be a very stressful pregnacy for you, and him.  You will always be worried, and that carries over into everything you do in life.  Its called stress.

My heart goes out to you.  Do the right thing.  You two married each other unconditionally!