Any 'caretakers' here?

Wife was diagnosed with HepC/end stage liver disease in 2000 and she has type II diabetis.  Everything has taken it's toll and we've both learned a great deal about dealing with her declining health.  For me, as a caregiver, it is so hard to watch the process.  There are days when I just wish it were over and I know that 'being over' means she will be gone and I feel like a total s*&T for thinking like that.  I'm still working a full time job and that certainy complicates things since we do not have any family around to help out.  Neighbors fill in the best they can but can't always be around to check on her when I can't get her on the phone....so I go zooming home only to find her sleeping (doesn't always take her lactulose).  But I can't take a chance since she's been hospitalized twice for low blood sugar and 3 times for high ammonia levels.  I just feel mentally and physcially exhausted today and ..... well, enough babbling....

[nygirl7]

Dear Caretaker Hubby,

Nobody knows the shoes that you have been walking in or how heavy your heart is after all you have been through.  Realize though many of us did not have someone as wonderful you to care for us during treatment and what a miracle we do think that you are to have been able to do what you have for so long.

We're all only human (although it seems you've tried hard to be more than that to your wife) and being tired and defeated and feeling this way is I'm sure not as uncommon as you might think.

We've had some wonderful caretakers in here and believe me.......I'm sure that they will all understand every single word you have said from the depth of their souls.

I'm sorry there isn't any more that I can do except for say I'm very sorry.  It seems so insufficient.

[ArthursMom]

God bless you!  You are doing a very great thing for your wife.  
Don't beat yourself up for wishing it "were over."   That is a very human response.  But, still you persevere.  
I helped take care of both parents before they passed. It's incredibly hard to watch someone suffer.  It's a very helpless feeling.  Now I'm thankful for every little thing that all involved did to make their last days easier and as fullfilling as possible.  
You will work til you think you just can't go on, but, you do.  And when it really is over you will never regret having been there to comfort and take care of your wife to the best of your ability.

[Tired_Hubby]

Thank you both so much....I cannot find the words to go with that thought.....

[mpace6983]

I know I'm probably going to come off sounding like a DUMB A-- , but have you checked to see if there is some sort of Community Visiting Nurse program that maybe can help out a little?  Sometimes the local churches will drop by and check on her.  I know it may sound selfish but had someone just to vent your feelings. This has got to be a nightmare. Saying Im sorry for your situation seems really inadequate. God Bless

[nygirl7]

I think you would have gotten many many more reponses to this letter if people realized it didn't have to be ONLY for caretakers so I am going to bump it up again.

I was thinking about it all night and praying for you.  Sometimes I think as a single mom widow I have it SO HARD.  No, not really when I stop and look at it.

[WriteItDown]

Wow, that sounds unbelievably hard!!!  I am helping my husband go through treatment, but we are lucky in that he is in an early stage and doesn't have any other health issues.... I find it hard enough just to see him not feeling good, and at times it's scary and I feel totally helpless. I don't know how I would do what you're doing. Seriously, you should know you are a hero.

[chevyelcam79]

Your wife is very very lucky to have you!!!!!  Caring for someone that is sick is hard on a person both mentally and physically.  The love and comfort you give her is the most important thing you can do!

Sometimes we wonder how one can do so much and be so exhausted and overwhelmed.  Love does conquer all!  

There are many programs out there that could surely help assist in your situation.  We all need a little break now and then, even if it is just a drop in during the day or a phone call to make sure things are ok.  Are there any type of respite programs in your area?  Even for just a quick check during the day?  Just a suggestion as noted above. Sounds like you could use something like that for a couple days.  

I am sure that all here will agree, no one can express how this touches each and everyone of us who have had treatments or needed just a hug some days or an I Love You!  You are truly a special Hubby and she is a very lucky lady to have to be her Caregiver and husband!

Shari