Bad new/good news

[Showboat]

Hello, All...Did not stop in yesterday...and see it was a bit quiet....  Got the word yesterday from my Doc that my 3month PCR is postive...dang it...So, I guess the bad news is: After 3 times at tx, my virus loves me so much, it decided to stay...
And the Good news is:I guess I will be here with you much longer.  My Doc left a message to call him on Tuesday evening at 7:30 pm.I knew right then that it had to be bad news,my sweet husband woke up before me on Wed. morning and "secretly" called my Doc to get the word.  Well, hubby let me drink my cup of coffee and "wake" up before he broke the news to me....we cried together,and I spent yesterday reflecting,BUT I feel okay today.(I have been through this twice before)  I will have my appt. in November to decide what step I will take next.  I am going with the flow and will enjoy my life as I did before tx, and I am living to my fullest. :> I am fine,dissappointed but fine.You people have made a tremendous difference in my life and my attitude about Hep C:your love, your sharing, your knowledge, your friendship.

BUT since this is the start of the weekend, I do not want to leave anyone with depressing vibes...SO...here is my
FRIDAY FUNNIES:

QUESTION:  Why did the Hepper (Me) cross the road?

ANSWER::::: To "C" if he/she/ME to get to the other side....

I love the humor here & without it today I would be absolutely down and out.....Always keep sharing a smile here.  Tomorrow always brings new hope, and remember, "It is always darkest BEFORE the dawn".  You people are the greatest. Friendship has humor in it.
Peace

[Showboat]

All:::Once again, I am feeling so humbled and Blessed to know all of you, my MH Family.  Thank you so much for your words of comfort and encouragement and your love.  I feel so lucky to have found this "home" here.  I read in another post that LVDBYGOD is asking for a special place on the bus for nonresponders, bless her heart, I want a place for relapsers too....but...I know that I will be txing again one day...maybe not real soon, but as MajNeni said " there is a lot going on with new tx" now....so, I am still hopeful that I will "move" up to the SVR seat section one day.... :">)

BERLYNN::::::My Dear, Sweet, Friend.....I was trying to find a way to tell you about my relapse, but did not want to discourage you.......I know that your test results are coming....and I just did not want you to be scared.   I had a feeling that Indy would tell you, or that you might just do what you did.....and peek in here.  I am sorry to hear that you have some concerns of your own.  I am sending some prayers up for you. This virus is very unpredictable, so keep the faith.
I was hoping for that seat on the SVR bus.....you may still get yours, so save a spot for me as I am not giving up... :>)  I really had to come to terms with my news and I actually feel peaceful.  I have a great faith that sustains me.......even when I feel like screaming.....LOL...each moment is worth living fully to the extent that it can be "lived".  I am grateful for my general good health at least.  I think my husband is amazed that I am doing better than he thought.  I was loading the dishwasher today, and he comes in the kitchen and asked me if I was okay.....I looked at him and "yes", "why"....and he said that he was worried about me because really, I was pretty upset when I initially got my news.  I just told him "hey, this is what it is....." but I still have faith....Kiddo....I am here for you...and going to email you right now......
Love to you.

[berlynn]

Gosh...I am so sorry to hear your news. I was watching for an email...and was getting worried since I didn't hear from you. I decided to check and see if you posted here. I am truly sorry. You are handling this really well. Ever since we first started comparing tx., I knew that you were special...you are so caring and sweet. But now I see how brave you are as well. You are quite an inspiration. I am supposed to get my heptimax results this week, prob Tues.. I have been having some other health probs and my family doc did some bloodwork, then called my GI who's office called and asked me to come in right away, cause he wanted to talk to me about what I need to do for these new issues that are rising. He was looking over my bloodwork ordered by my Family doc., and saw that my ALT and AST number's went way back up. It doesn't look too good, but I have to wait for the heptimax to know for sure. He told me not to get too upset yet, but it's hard not to worry. I went 50 weeks on meds...100% of meds 100% of the time...and they still may have not worked for me. It looks as if I may be in the same "boat" as you instead of the bus trip I was really looking forward to. Take care and thank you, your bravery, especially after going through this 3 times is amazing but also soooooo helpful right now. kim

[Amerabrit]

I cried when I read your post.  You are a truly brave and inspirational person and now you have faced all of our worst nightmares..., And you are still standing, smiling and offering support to the rest of us.  I find it a struggle to sort this stuff out at times because I want to know why this happened to you  - so I can only imagine how you might feel...  So much to think about and try to take in right now, I would guess..  I'm always optimistic, it just seems a better place to be than in Pessimistic Valley so once the shock as worn off a bit, I really hope you can join me on Optimistic mountain because I truly believe a kinder, better tx will come along - medical breakthroughs happen all the time, who knows what 5 - 10 years will bring and you are still young!*!  I will be thinking of you a lot and wishing you peace and understanding and whatever else you need to enable you to come to terms with this result.
You're a winner to me Showboat and it's my pleasure to award you the Platinum medal - you're in great company.
Kindest regards, always..

[couchpotato]

I echo all the sentiments written here,words escape me. Please keep your chin up, and yes, hopefully the test read wrong.

Couch

[derail]

hey really sorry about the bad news my compassion overwhelms me for your  dilemna.  May future decisions on tx be positive and with positive results   Daryl

[jonihs]

This is one of those times when I absolutely do not know what to say. I'm sorry seems so inadequate. But I am and praying also. God bless you and keep you.   Luv, Joni

[Ella Mackenzie]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry. Shows what a trouper you are ...to end with a joke. Bless you.

[MichaelT]

I encourage you to get a confirming PCR. False positives do happen!

[Foreign girl]

I am very sorry about your news. What was your biopsy result before the therapy? Are you planning to get another one done to see if you have some hystological improvements?

Good luck

Foreign girl

[mikesimon]

I am so sorry about your news. I'm glad you'll be around but I hate it that you relapsed. Things will work out for you in time so don't get too down. Mike

[kennedge]

damn- always hate hearing this....

and besides your wonderful partner you have us to continue supporting you in the fight....and in this corner...ssshhhhoooowwwwwbbbbooooaatttttt

[cuteus]

don't change the other name...it is the hope of your future.
I am with you in spirit and wish to embrace you gently.  
'praying for your good health

[sher_]

DAMN IT JANET! ahhhhhhh Girlie I am sorry but that fricken dragon can run but NOT hide, so you go ahead and cry but get right back up and go in guns blazing!!!! BIG HUGERZZZZZZZZ

[DownThisRoad]

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I wish there were something I could say to make it better for you; for all of us.

Being finished with the treatment myself and dreading the post tx testing, the news that you've received is my very worst worst nightmare.  I've chosen not to take the 3 month testing.

I believe at the end of the day there are truly no words to describe or express how we all feel having this disease, treating this disease, clearing this disease or not clearing this disease.

~dtr.

[Lucky Lou]

Extreamly sorry. I can not even imagine. But none of us have ever lost until we give up. Never give up. Failure is only a reality if we accept it. if we do not, we are still in the firght. I believe that failure has to have at least two particpants. Do not participate.Words like stay strong and never give up seem diffult to even type here. But i will say that this is a set back, not an end result. You will eventually win because you refuse to quit! Stay strong. You sound like you have also been blessed with a great partner. Regroup, stand tall and fight like a son of.....We are all rooting for you.

Lou

[Indiana]

Awwww ****! I hate it when this happens.
I am Sooo sad to hear your news. But you have done your best. Thats all any of us can ever do. You are stronger and wiser because of your choices. You have inspired many others who's names you will never even know just by doing this and sharing your journey with all. GOD is watching. He is looking right at you and formulating his NEW plan. You WILL win this war someday if you don't give up.
I will take you into our Sunday prayers at church this week.
I hope your tx recovery is full and complete.

[MajNeni]

Hi, Showboat,
Your news really saddens me.  But hope lies in the future.  Good, solid studies, new meds.  There's a lot going on.  The TX we're using, which is curing many, was not around 3-5 years ago.  When I got my dx in '91, there was nothing, nothing for 9 out of 10 people; look how far it's come.  So your day is coming, too.  I'll be holding you in the Light.
Maj Neni

[Sioux]

I am sad at your news. Hang in there, we are all here for you.
I go on the 31st for my 6mo.post tx. heptimax......
I am very worried that the dragon has returned. I'm hoping for the best...but preparing for the worst.

HUGS to all

[Showboat]

Thank you so much everyone!!!!!!!  Your words touched me so deeply....(lump in throat and tears in eyes) I LOVE YOU GUYS.
I would like to thank you for your encouragement as well.  You have comforted me, and given me confirmation of my HOPE.  

I am humbled by your responses.

Today, I am back at square one.....and, I admit, feeling a little numb.  

I am encouraged by the thought that perhaps.....(hands in prayer)that perhaps, perhaps....this may be a false positive as Michael T suggested...(thanks for that info, Michael T).  I guess I will wait until Nov. (which would have been my 6 m PCR) and in the meantime, I will be praying......wouldn't that be something.....well....(Indiana, yes...and thank you...I really appreciate your offer to pray...I am thankful to you)

I can see the logic in waiting for a 6 m PCR...'cause, as I told my hubby....HECK.....I am still waiting for my hair to come back and I still have some sx...and then this crappy news........(crooked smile  :>#  )
(Foreign Girl, I will get that information for you)

THANK YOU AGAIN, MY FRIENDS, I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU ALL A BIG HUG RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I am making a career out of tx....LOL
PEACE

[honey1616]

((((Hugs)))) You are just amazing!! My heart goes out to you as I can only understand how hard this must be and your positive attitude and determination!!  I'm so glad to have met you!! You are an awesome Lady!  Prayers & Love!!!

[Fubarcat]

I am so sorry it didn't work for you this third time.  You have such a positive attitude about it - you are my new hero!    After going through treatment three times, I am amazed by your fortitude.  You sound like you are blessed with a loving, supportive husband and you know you have all of our support.  As you said you would do, take a break, enjoy life, and stay in touch to let us know how you are doing and what you decide in November.  My hat is off to you for your wonderful attitude and sunny disposition.  Thank you.  You are an inspiration.

[fsplink]

I think you're taking this news so well. I'm really sorry to hear that once again that stupid virus didn't die. I so admire your determination and your ability to jump back up! I will be praying for miracles for you.

[Invictus]

My heart hurts for yours right now.  I can't imagine how you must be feeling, and I'm really sorry to hear you received such tough news!  I know you are aware of the treasures you have in your husband, and most of all in your own good attitude and strong spirit.  I hope those treasures continue to serve you well as you go forward from here.  Best of luck!

[Califia]

What a lousy break, sister.   I am so terribly, terribly sorry.   A wound to one is a wound to all, and I'm hurting for you.  Not fair.  Not fair.  Not fair.

So, me brave lass, you can have Johnny Depp after all.  It's the least I can do.  Deal?