DESPERATE

I AM JUST STARTING THE PEG/COPEG THERAPY..9 WEEKS INTO IT AND I FEEL LIKE DIRT WARMED OVER..THERE ARE TIMES I FEEL LIKE I AM  LOSING IT...THEY KEEP UPING MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS BUT THEY ARE NOT WORKING.FEEL LIKE JUST QUITTING BECAUSE I AM SO SICK OF BEING SICK..I HAVE AN OCCASIONAL GOOD DAY BUT MOSTLY BAD. I AM STARTING TO NOTICE RASHES AND CANNOT SLEEP AT NIGHT..TOTALLY EXHAUSTED AND NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO...DESPERATE

[amirtracy]

hi. i'm so sorry you're having a rough time. can you get your doc to prescribe a different AD? perhaps something to help you sleep? you need to complain until they listen. i know it's hard. i'm week 13/48 and its sooo much harder than i thought it would be. i thought I could do it. piece of cake. well the honeymoons over for me. BUT i just found out today i'm undetectable. so hang in there if there's any way at all you can, you're not far away from your first pcr. it seems like it's going to take forever but like everything else, it comes. the people here can help you. they did me. ask away. and visit when you're lonely. best of luck to you,   tracy

[can-do-man]

Hello and welcome, sorry your feeling so bad. Maybe you need to try another AD? Hit me hard at about week 8 but did let up alot.
Theres stuff for the rash and ask your doctor for an rx to help you sleep. The not sleeping at night is  makeing everything worse. So try and get some help there. Your not alone here but it does seem to get better for the most part. Wish i could me more help. Heres wishing you the best of luck

[lackalustre]

its good you are sharing here.  treatment was almost torture for me but i finally got thru it.    for sleep i used ambien. anxiety zanax.   for depression trazadone.    drink tons of water.   get thru it one day at a time.  easy to say- each day seemed like forever.   but you have to kill the virus.   hang in there.....

[can-do-man]

says.........do you smoke?....drink tap water?...eat junk foods?....and lots of fatty meats?....try to elimate those things and see how it goes.

Besides the AD's i do all those things and have very little sides. With this stuff theres no ryme or reason. Why don't everyone clear?

[fishdoc]

So, how do you feel on a bad day??  Just kidding, its a one day at a time trip, and man, some of them are long days.....all we can offer is support, cause we're all up the fecal creek without a paddle..... just warmed over doodie... I'm usually at the hammered doodie stage....

[Alady1620]

Don't give up yet.  Your attitude is everything!  Try to think positive thoughts even though it is hard.  Think of how happy you'll be when you clear the virus.

Do you have a hep c support group in your area?  Call you local hospitals.  They might know of one.  Also, it helps to talk to a psychiatric specialist.  This diagnosis and treatment is really, really hard.  You need a good support group around you.

I am in week 24 of treatment.  For me, the first few months were the hardest.  It is getting easier.  You'll be better some days than others.  

I agree about getting your ADs changed.  Honestly, I quit taking mine bc I was more mentally messed up on them than off.  I'm not recommending that for you but it is something to think about.  Were you on ADs before treatment?  Were they working then?  Do you have a history of depression?

I really think you ought to call your doctor first thing in the morning as interferon can make some people suicidal.  Please, take care of yourself.  Get as much rest as you can.

[new-sojourn]

I smoked mediacal marijuana.  And used home made soaps and/or Dr Bonner's Magical Soap.  Cheap, easy, non-toxic and organic.  worked for me.

[Forseegood]

Can I stick up for Rocker here? and this is only my experience second hand, but if you go to a few sites out there, where a lot of the people treating are into very healthy lifestyles, I think you'll gather that healthy living does play a part in how much you feel sides...of course, not always, I've known people who had really bad lifestyles who ended up clearing and/or had few sides, but I feel Rocker maybe be onto something just from what I read on these other boards...

[Pauly Boy]

Hi Stang,

Unfortunately, I cannot give you any personal experiences regarding anything that might help you physically. Many of the other posters have a ton more experiences with the tx regimen than I do. I have just started tx last week and have not had any problems. Who knows what will happen in the future but I do know one thing: Like you, I want to get rid of this thing! The other thing I know is that my outlook and attitude towards anything in life is critical. So, what I can do is send out good vibes and a lot of positive, healthy and helpful thoughts and prayers to you. I wish you relief from your pain and your virus. Keep the Faith.
Pauly

[OnAPrettyPoison]

ALady is right, attitude can make or break you.  Also, probably not good if you are upping your AD's without medical supervision.  You probably need a different drug than the one you are on.  And sleep is the miracle.   If you are sleeping, the rest you will be able to handle.  Try the OTC stuff like simply sleep or tylenol PM.  Try taking the riba as early as you can in the day.  If that doesn't work, ask for prescription meds to help you sleep. You hang in there, it will get better!

[Drarig]

Thx again -- I didn't tell many people about what I'm going thru found out about my hepc 3 yrs ago -- so when I decided to start treatment this year, told myself I could not let it put me down -- 2 jobs, kids,etc. -- pta mom, bakes sales and all -- didnt tell anyone because some people are so ignorant about this disease & would think they'd catch it from eating something I baked - so kept it to myself all these years...it's terrible --  it helps to finally share feelings - thx!  I'm glad you're almost at the end of your treatment -- I wish you much luck!

[52TELE]

Hi Shelly. I am also in week 9. What a ***** this can be. I suffered from generalized anxiety even before I started treatment. I was taking 150 mg of Nortriptylene (Pamelor) daily and have been for 15 yrs. Luckily I was able to drop the Xanax a few years ago. After treatment started , I started getting depressed , crying , etc.. And determined that the Nortriptylene was ok for anxiety , but didn't help the depression at all. My doc had me start taking Lexipro(sp?) and it has made a terrific difference. I've been taking it for 3 weeks now. I hate the rash worse than anything. It seems like I keep trying to do my best with it but it appears that its not going anywhere anytime soon.

Finally , to the point... hang in there. This may be the hardest thing you have ever done , I know it is for me. I tried the
"one day at a time" philosophy , but that makes 48 weeks seem soooo for away.I think in terms of shot to shot. Mark um down , check them off , deal with the sides the best you can. take naps , make everyone leave you alone at least one day a week , and try to refer to this forum whenever possible. Someone is always here ready to listen. I'll look for you.

[52TELE]

I forgot something.. sometimes I take antihistamine orally to help with the itching,  and it also makes me sleepy. Maybe some benadryl will help you fall asleep. Find a book that you really want to read , sit down and start reading and you'll fall asleep right away. It never fails for me.

[Alady1620]

I don't normally post about this but in your case I think it is warranted.

Marijunana does help tremendously with the sides.  It doesn't take much to get the beneficial effects and it makes the treatment a lot more tolerable.

I am not a pot smoker but, on my very worst days, I will take a hit or two.  I can't tell you how much relief it gives me from the sx.

[SJL]

I am very hesitant to answer anyone's post at this time as I am suffering from interferon induced neuropathy. I went through 2 rounds of treatment and tried pegasys maintainence.
After 9 weeks it appears that you are having major sides as I did. My advice is to try and hang in, but only you know if it gets to rough to handle, and then make your decision. Wichever decisison you make will be the right one. Only one word of caution to all-if you are having numbness, which sometimes seems to come & go, don't take it lightly. See a Neurologist. Also, is everyone aware of the Ambien sides?

[Drarig]

I am sorry to hear how you are feeling.  I hope things work out better for you.  Try to stay positive & take it one day at a time.  I am fairly new, too, just 12 weeks into 48.  I have been lucky -- Other than extrmely low wbc & beginnings of riba rash on my neck, I have always felt pretty good.  Sometimes day after shot, I get achey (achy), but that could be from the weekly Neopogin shot I have to take for my white blood counts.  So far I haven't really felt any different. (knock on wood - probably jinxing myself now)  I really feel exercise has helped me with this treatment.  I'm a fitness instructor and have not given up my regimine other than dropping from 7 classes a week to 5.  I also work full-time & have kids.  I really think the exercise/endorphines help overall.  But I could be wrong. Keep your chin up & now your not alone...

[Drarig]

I'm sorry you weren't able to exercise... that's why I don't know if I'm just one of the lucky ones that didn't get many side effect or if it's the exercise that helps me get thru it...  I thank my lucky stars for every day I can be normal & not sick or depressed... (although I have to admit to road rage at times I just hope my low wbc doesn't make my have to stop treatment...

[stangshelly]

I JUST WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THE POSITIVE INPUT..REALLY I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO REALLY TALK TO EXCEPT MY IMMEDIATE FAM. AND THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND MUCH BUT THINK I AM LOSING IT.
I DO EAT HEALTHY, EXERCISE WHEN I CAN AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER. REALLY CRAVE AN OCCASIONAL BEER OR 2 BUT NO BETTER. I AM ON XANAX AND THEY ARE TRYING TO WEAN ME OFF...BEEN ON FOR YEARS FOR ANXIETY BUT THE DOC HAS ME ON TOO MUCH OR... SO THEY SAY
I WAS OFF AD BEFORE TX BUT STARTED RIGHT BEFORE THERAPY TO WARD OFF DEPRESSION  YEAH RIGHT... I FEEL MORE DEPRESSED NOW THEN BEFORE...I HOPE I CLEAR THE VIRUS SOON..I WILL HANG IN BUT THIS REALLY SUCKS!..THANKS AGAIN...SHELLY

[merlino]

Jeez, you sound so much like me. I am new here. Only one person knows I have the Alien ( as I have named it). I too am a single Mom with the works. I intend to keep it private even when I start treatment.  I am not fortunate enough to have a family that would support me so I  go it alone. This site has been very informative as well as comforting. I am planning on trying a trial (if accepted) or start tx in Septmeber.

[merlino]

P.S. I have been hiding it for 6 yrs. It has been truly terrible this way.

[Drarig]

sorry -- I noticed in thread you said starting treatment in September...  good for you!!  I am mad at myself for waiting 3 years to start -- After reading all side fx, I was terrified & kept putting it off -- thought my heart condition or asthma would get worse & thought I wouldn't be able to drive or work, etc. I thought it was the end of my world, but I am really doing okay -- I pray it stays this way

[Drarig]

It's so comforting to hear you say that... sometimes you feel like a leper or something because people don't understand enough about it & think you get it by something stupid like rubbing elbows...  It was horrible the way I found out (did CPR on a guy who took massive heart attack & everything came up out of his stomach) I had to go for blood work just to be on safe side to make sure I didn't catch anything & lo and behold!  I got my diagnosis...  I was flabbergasted!!!!  Never had any idea... what a way to find out.  Not even sure how I got it so don't know how long it's been in my body...  Overall, I think I am doing great on treatment when I read everyone else's probs...  the best thing is that I've been able to carry on w/my normal life, but the riba rash (skin tags on my neck) & my asthma (& period), and back pain, etc is all worse...  but if I can get rid of this permanently, it will be worth it...  my main concern is my white blood count very low & I'm afraid if I get sick, I will wind up in hospital w/bad infection. But we have to just take it ONE week at a time, right??  When are you starting treatment?

[merlino]

I am so sorry I didn't do treatment 6 yrs ago when first diagnosed.I would (hopefully) be finished. I am hoping to get into this trial VX-950. If not will treat in Sept. Being alone in this is horrible. One of my Aunt's passed away this weekend from cancer. She wasn't much older than me, when she was ill my entire family supported her. However, if they knew I had this disease I would be an outcast. Thats just how they are. Can you imagine, even a disease has to be socially acceptable.