Delicate question to put to forum about er, um, libido....

[carolhab]

okay - I know this is not a critical physical question, and I feel rather embarassed about bringing this up, but what better place??  Here goes - I would like to hear from folks about how Hep C and tx (and even those not on tx) has affected thier desire to be intimate with partners.... I will start with myself,  I am 48, 32 wks into tx, really struggling with the classic sides, and just am not interested in sex.  Sometimes I think it's because my muscles ache, my headaches come, I get that creepy crawly feeling, and being touched is just uncomfortable.  But there's more than that, I seem to just not be interested..  I am thinkng maybe it's because I am putting so much of my psyche into this tx, and work just takes everything out of me, etc, I could probably go on with more reasons. But, the bottom line is, my libido is just gone...  Will it ever come back?  This is becoming an issue with my partner, who I absolutely love with all my heart, but is getting fustrated with my lack of interest, and is taking this personally..  I have not seen much written on this subject, so any comments, experiences, and ideas on how to support partners through this are appreciated -  I can't imagine how tough this is on our partners...
thanks!!!!
Carol

[Imagine]

carol, you listed several reasons that could effect your libido. Are you on anti- depressants? If you are there are several that can affect your libido in a negative way (at least my definition of negative). This combined with energy levels could be what's bugging you know. I am not an expert by any stretch but this could be just a temporary situation. Alan

[bluepeng]

As a male penguin, I'm generally aroused most of the time, but on tx, forget it.  I found you may think of sex, but the avalanche of issues with side effects just got in the way.  It probably doesn't have to be this way, but that was my experience.  I think feeling gross effects your self image anyway and that can be a problem.  I think your question is entirely valid by the way.

Peng.

[landfill]

I'm a man so this may not do you any good but I liked sex on tx.  I didn't have much energy for it but it comforted me in a way that nothing else did.  My wife has never wanted hepc to get in our way.  I've been with her for 23 years.  For the first 10 years I didn't know I was infected.  When I found out she didn't want anything to change so we kept doing every6thing we felt like.  She's negative.  I don't have any lingering effect of tx.

When I needed an AD on tx I picked welbutrin because it doesn't have sexual side effects and it dries your mouth out less than some others.  Best wishes for you.

[1fairygirl]

Carol,
I wonder if since, as you say, this has become an issue for you and your partner, perhaps you are feeling too pressured to be able to "get in the mood."  If you aren't feeling well and have to say no, and may have not had "relations" for a while, do you feel that your partner is expecting something when you do feel a little better?  You don't have to answer that, of course, just food for thought.  I've been very lucky that my partner ALWAYS wants it, I do, too, but he is totally understanding when I don't feel well enough.  Then we just cuddle and caress.  Maybe if that could be the issue, you could just explain it openly and honestly with your partner.  If he learns to support you when you don't feel well rather than adding stress to your situation, maybe, just maybe...you may feeel less pressure and surprise him!!! ;-)   I may be way off base here and it could just be another sx of tx and as we all know, those can change every week.  So there is always hope of that sx going away.
Best of luck!!  Hope you have a relatively sx-free weekend!
Smiles, Sue

[cuteus]

I found I had more interest in sex during tx than 6 month after tx, can't understand that one, perimenopause maybe?

[1fairygirl]

Oh, Yah!!! Those wonderful female hormones!!!  Carol, that could also be an explaination-you may be going through some hormonal changes from the tx or the hcv.  It can and often does cause early menopause.  I don't know how old you are, but that could be a real possibility if you're in your late 30s or older.
Great point, cuteus
Smiles, Sue

[bon_vivant]

LoL.... Ummm Yep.. that's the TX..... last round, that was the last thing I even wanted to think about... much less do... who has the energy for that....

Last round when I got extreme & had my first & only "one night" fling... it was simply because my emotions were running amuck & I felt rejected....

Now this round... I am trying to mend my almost broken relationship from last the last round... so I put a sincere EFFORT into being attentive.... but I got to tell ya... it's work, & I usually dread it.... but then afterwards.. I always think... well that was worth it, & I do feel better... it's just the arousal is pretty much Non-Existant!

Note.. (My better half Is Not Around 24/7) so it's difficult but managable to paint on a happy face for 3 weeks at a time every other month..... Oh & I got my windows tinted so I don't have to look at my neighbor, & he can't see me when I drive by!
:)

[Laika]

I have been wondering how you were doing post treatment?  When you posted that you only had a few weeks left and felt like quitting, I was so amazed.  I thought, "how can he feel that way with the end so near?  Shouldn't he feel encouraged?...excited to be so near the end?"  Well, I just did shot 21 of 24, and I know how you were feeling now!!  This last week was worse than most...felt like it moved in slow motion.  I would like to be busy and distracted so that the weeks would fly by...and I am, in fact, very busy...but still able to dwell on treatment, the unpredictability of how I feel getting me down, living to lie down as soon as possible after I finish my work...the fog, the fatigue.

I can't remember how long it's been since you finished treatment, but was hoping you'd say something about how you were feeling now.  Do you have your energy back?  How long does it take for the dehydration to go away?  Do you feel like your emotions are evening out?  Has the fog lifted?

Laika

[susan400]

I would say that it's the treatment.  I've treated numerous times.  Every single time I treat, no sex drive, non-orgasmic, etc.  My husband doesn't like it, but he deals with it because he knows that it's something that is beyond my control due to the meds and he wants me to be able to treat when I have to.  That doesn't mean that I ignore his needs.  There is no reason that you have to be in the mood in order to satisfy your significant other. You still benefit by the hugging and kissing and the closeness even if you aren't able to "get aroused". I feel like why should he have to go that long without it, just because I can't.  So, we have this understanding.  I no longer beat myself up over it.  We both know that this is how it is when I'm on treatment.  I can't take anti-depressants.  But,  years ago, when I went through a time where I was tried on 10 different AD's and none of them were tolerated, this was one of the many side effects, was lack of libido.  I am fine with my libido off of treatment.

Anyway, take care.

Susan

[scruffy]

The meds certainly affect the libido in Both directions in that it is increased in some and decreased in others and both ways at different times in tx. Not only do you have to allow for this but hubby needs to support you also-IT IS A TWO WAY STREET. No need for it to be problematic if both partners recognize the situation and adapt. So says the single guy! frank

[KICKED]

With both my husband and me being on the meds at the same time.  We never connected. It was always a hit and miss. But most of the time neither one of us wanted it.  The joy will come back.  It has for my husband now that he is off the meds.

[bluepeng]

Bon_vivant

"but I got to tell ya... it's work, & I usually dread it.... but then afterwards.. I always think... well that was worth it, & I do feel better... it's just the arousal is pretty much Non-Existant!"

This is EXACTLY how it was and is for me in general.  Sometimes it's a hurdle to get over, but you feel great afterwards.

Laika

First le me say, you're gonna feel great once you stop taking this stuff.  Period.  The contrast becomes obvious weeks later -- not immediately.  but, everybody is different I guess.  My arthritic condition cleared up a week after stopping interferon.  No more joint pains in my hands.  I still have carpal, but it's "normal" carpal I always had, not the carpal from hell on IF.   I blew up a small pool for my son today for our backyard.   I had to do something similar for another of his toys while while on tx, I almost fainted.  Today, that wasn't the case.   The fog will lift.  My hair is still leaving my head, but I get the sense that it has slowed down and I feel hopeful.  No other lingering sx to mention.  I'm grateful.  Thank you so much for asking.  

As for your last three weeks, it's a boot camp.  You got to hunker down and keep at it.  You just want to bag it and stop early, but that's not an option.  It was the worst part of tx for me, aside from the first shot.  I also has a glimpse of what a full year would be like, but I guess you adjust expectations accordingly for that.  

All the best to you.  Stick around, I want to see how you're doing.  

See ya.

[Honey15637]

I gotta agree with Bluepeng on this one.  It is work and on tx,,,you could just sit and do nothing at all because basically there is no motivation or desire on so many things,,,not just sex.  And then of course,,after you take the extra step,,,You then wonder why you weren't interested lol
On tx,,,I lost a lot of my desire but my husband's increased so you just never know how the tx will effect each person.  
Its so easy though to see why so many lose interest,,,you just don't feel good for the most part.

[carolhab]

thanks everyone for their comments and for sharing .. really interesting thread!!!   ... seems this is a big sx and hits everyone a bit different.  As for AD's, I tried Paxil once, and got violently ill for 24 hours.  I decided to go without AD's as long as I can, seems I can't tolerate them, but I also wonder, since I am on the Ribavirin/Viramidine trial, if I am on Viramidine, could it be a drug interaction with that??? (dtrs don't seem to be too worried about that possibility).. I think I will be okay without AD's, but I can't say how the rest of my weeks will be..  I also can't say how I will deal with this, I am beginning to feel pressured, and think that he is just being pushy and demanding - but it's hard to know and trust my own emotions sometimes.... will take that slow....  oh well - today he had an MRI for a tinnitus problem, had 20 mg of Ativan, and is out cold!!!!! LOL

[carolhab]

whoops - I mean 2 mg of Ativan.....

[bon_vivant]

LMAO... Out Cold.... Problem SOLVED for the NIGHT.... but he's still gonna wake up sometime...... Bless your heart!!!
:)

[nanniegea]

Oh boy, can I relate to that one!!! My sex drive has left me almost entirely. At first I could still enjoy sex but as time goes on I could care less, add that to the fact that reaching orgasm has become almost impossible when I do find the energy to "give it a go". I am sure it's the meds and I'm just hoping things will get back to normal soon. Now that I'm half way through the 48 weeks, I am finding I have small urges once in a while so maybe things are calming down. I wish you the best and hang in there.

[bluepeng]

Boy, you're half way there if I remember correctly.  Over half way there.  I hope you're doing well.  You started the first week in January.

Peng.

[nanniegea]

Yes, I started Jan 13 to be exact. and although the sides have become almost bearable I can't wait to see the end of these meds. I did show undetectable at 24 weeks so that has given me some encouragement. My s.o. just started tx and I am thinking that he really needs some ad's.  He is going through the ideal study and I don't think he is too happy with the way they go about things. I have given him more info than they have and most of it is thanks to you guys. From reading things on here I have a much better understanding of just what it all means to be on tx. So, thanks to all who have taken the time to answer questions and to put it in terms we can understand. My best to everyone and may God bless.

[cuteus]

one reason I did not want any ADs during Tx is the fact that they affected my libido big time, given that tx might also affect it, but knowing that ADs definetely do, I chose to wait out the dark moments without them. It worked well.