Depression/continued

[Lucky Lou]

Forgive me if I am carrying this too far. But I am begining to concluded that I may have underestimated the power of tx. It is a type of chemo, right. Don't get me wrong, I still believe that a positive attitude is helpful in aANY situation. But I have to be realistic, I don't know what I am up against with TX, and these stories are really important to me and I suspect others. There is no text book any of us could ever read that would contain this invaluable information, these testimonials. This is it. These experiances are the raw realities of Tx, first hand. Agian forgive me if I am going to far, it's kinda what I do.

Derail, Don't worry! I have a lovey Ralph lauren black gown with spaggetti straps, (no back) put aside for the bus.I was thinking about some Tiffiny's three color gold necklace, bracelet and earing combos (But that's so goddy), Red Lv spick FMPs and a Red couch mini bag? What do ya think, any suggustions ladies? Oh yes.Of course a peticure! That goes unsaid!

LOU

[Lucky Lou]

Sorry, didn't mean to post the secound part with the question. Different computer.

Lou

[derail]

yea sure you didn't if you keep talking like that Rev and Indy will get ticked AND you LOOSEY will have some Splaining to do
You said you weren't gonna tell anyone about that hot  dress and were saving just for me.... Imay change my mind yet!!!

[honey1616]

hahaha Now I'm getting punchy reading all posts about depression,,,,And I have this mental picture in my mind,,,kinda like a cartoon,,,ya know....Everyone out there in cyberland is sitting in front of computers with very thin hair,,boney and covered in riba rash,,,And asking..."But how positive can a person be"  LOL

Awwww Lou,,,Like the dress and accessories,,,ever so nice!! You are ready!!  Now,,,Now,,,My pretty one,,,Step right up...haha

Lou,,,You are priceless and I love you!!!

[cuteus]

I might be the most ignorant fashion person. I am a female, have no clue of the brand names, designers, chic stores, etc. you constantly mention, and here you are, a male, and able to describe to  the T,  details of your outfits. What's up with that?
I know that spaghetti straps will accentuate the huge biceps and give you the "cha cha" look. Not a pleasant image though... are you crossdressing? ;-}

[Fubarcat]

As usual - you made me smile.  Your mental picture of us Heppers in our old rotten robes with stringy hair and a bottle of ADs close at hand cracked me up!  Thanks.  Need all the funnies I can get today!

[nolee]

TX is an auto-immune form of chemo therapy. Instead of cancer chemo's that kill cells, this tx boosts the normal amount of interferon that the body normally makes. The side effects are due to the fact that it IS a man-made substance that the body reacts to. My experience is that the Riba probably causes me more negative sx's than does the Peg/Intron. There is a document (can't remember where I found it) called "a Nurses guide to managing Hepc side effects". If you type that into a search engine it should come up. Again my PC Dr. treated me for depression and anxiety from the "git go". I'm taking shot #23 of 24 this week and to tell you the truth I'm sick and tired of the tx, sx and the drugs for everything else! But this is what it took to save my life and I am eternally grateful. There is a finality to this one way or the other and personally I will be thrilled when it is over. Undie dance, here I come!!!!! If anyone happens to spot me, a round of applause would be appreciated! I'll be the one with the Happy Face pair on my head. Good luck, ~Neal~

[snook_man]

Man, I'll be honest.. I started tx on May 21. I did my first shot, thought I was ready, and thought it was gonna be easy.. By wednesday, I was vommiting, crying, and just freaking out.. I was having really bad anxiety attacks, that felt like heart attacks.. Also, the riba had me on a speed or LSD like trip.. I was stuck, just like in a trance like zone.. Lost 10lbs, in 6 days, and Dr pulled me off meds.
My main thing that freaked me out, was that I was unable to control my thoughts, and the overall situation.. I am always very seriuos, and try to control my situations.. These meds are some strong stuff, and controlling them is not likely.. Managing them is more of the theory I think.. Riding them out, and taking it one day at a time..
It is somewhat of a mind set, but once that injection comes, there is NO gaurante of the effect it might have on you.. This disease is incredible, in how it effects each person so differently.. Like my mom, who gave me this disease at birth, has no fibrosis, only mild inflamation.. Go figure..
All I can say, is that I have never been a depressed person.. Always silly, and trip out.. I'm the good time guy.. Well, the good time guy, got hit by a 2x4, and is trying to get back up..You just have to stay well informed, and monitor all your sides, like in a journal.. Discuss them with your Dr, and let him know everthing that happens. Just leave out the part about crossdressing, he might not give you the peg.. Keep up the quest buddy, I went through the same thing, and I think everyone does.. It is amazing that none of us really know about the disease, till  we get a direct hit..

[honey1616]

haha Ohhhh yes,,,forgot the ole bathrobe,,,,Can't even imagine the day I have to part with my comfy bathrobe! LOL  Hey read your post down below,,,,and you described it so well!!  You are a few weeks ahead of me and the party will be over soon for us!! Hair Back,,,Skin Back,,Coloring Back,,,And Attitude of wanting to do so much again,,,,that there is not enough time in day for it all!!  Its there,,,,just beyond over that Little Hill now for me and you!!  Take Care!!

[Lucky Lou]

I suspect the answer is no, but has there ever been a study trying to pin point the common denominators of the Sx to the individuals on Tx. Blood type, size, family history you know what I mean. I imagine the physiological and psychological profiles of the people on tx will eventually be commingled into a study determining the predisposed vulnerabilities, or lack thereof, of tx/sx. I would think that the depression part of the SX has at least some connection to medical and psychological history of the individual. It would seem that there has to be some contributing factors to the final reaction of the individual to tx. I mean here we see them as random. But to believe they are random you have to accept the

[Lucky Lou]

I guess I should address the

[silvermoon]

Hey!  The discussion yesterday and this one, has been very interesting and informative.. and very important!!  
Most people do NOT realize how SERIOUS and COMPLICATED this disease is NOR how SERIOUS and COMPLEX Tx is..
  as an example:
I called my @#&*^#@ sister last week because she lives in FL in the Tampa Bay area and the Hurricane was headed straight for them. ((I don't speak to her, since Feb. The docs told me in Jan. that I was probably in 3rd stage cirrhosis and needed to start Tx right away. She called my kids and told them that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, coz I don't look sick, and that they should go to the doctor with me, so they can see for themselves that I was lying coz I just didn't want to work. She hasn't made an honest dollar in 17 years, I was working my *^*off 12-18 hrs a day physical hard work, until things got so bad ))  so, anyway, I called to check on their safety, and she  asked " how's your little hepatitis stuff coming along?"  So I politely told her that my 'little hepatitis stuff'  was at 3rd stage cirrhosis.
Same thing with others, if ya look good, and keep yourself fixed up, ya can't be sick!  but keeping myself fixed up and together helps to keep a positive attitude,, I won't let this thing get me!!  People don't get that!
.....From everything I have read and heard and learned.. I'm kinda looking at Tx as doing DOUBLE chemo !  really nasty stuff, that does nasty stuff to every part of ya.. and, the way I see it.. you have to have a POSITIVE attitude to even START treatment, much less keep doing it..but I also see that, for the majority of folks on Tx, it takes some extra help, via other drugs, to KEEP a somewhat poitive attitude.. and that is OK.....now, having said that.. I will be fighting tooth and nail to NOT take anything on a regular basis fo depression, coz that's just the way I am.. I think I should have enough control over myself to handle whatever is thrown at me, coz that's the way I have always been..and had to be, since very young...I have always felt that if I ask for help, I am being weak!!  I don't DO sick..not allowed!! have always been very strong emotionally and strong willed... friends say I am too damn strong..(infact, they say I should act more helpless, coz my strength scares men off....LOL..).
I told my doc, that when I get to the point that I quit doing my makeup, doing my hair, making myself presentable everyday.. and start staying in bed all the time.. THAT'S when they need to worry about my mental state..  and I figure, folks on here have had enough experience with this stuff..  that when any of us start acting whacked out.. they will let us know!! I am wondering if, by trying to be so strong, and refusing to accept or recognize that we need some help in the mental status area, if we in actuality, make it worse for ourselves?  So, I find this group as MEANS of staying positive, as well as informed & by having support from 'veterans of this war',  we'll all make it thru..together...

[Lucky Lou]

SSRIs

You know it is such a difficult call. On one side I believe in SSRIs because the serotonin levels being low is a reality, but on the other hand I think it is like penicillin. You give enough of it to someone and eventually the body figures it doesn

[Showboat]

Silvermoon::: I can definitely relate to what you are saying.  I don't do sick either, and often wonder what percussions that have/had with people in my life.  I had to change many things in my life during tx....and tried to "bow out" gracefully in my areas of committment to others...without giving them the 100 per cent explanation.......there were days that I HATED myself while on tx.....I lashed out at myself more than at others...and internalized my suffering.....I am lucky that I was blessed with a positive attitude at birth (although these meds surely did test that).....and I realize how very lucky I am to have that...those dark days were very hard to go through..I did not do AD either...and feel fortunate..I admire the strength and courage it takes for anyone to go through this tx...and more so for those that do take ADs...this tx is not easy....I have a bipolar sister that does not always take her AD meds..she cannot find the right med to work for her....God Bless her, I know that if she ever had to treat for hepc (she does not have it)...she would really be in for a *@3^ of a ride with these meds....I do not think she would be able to do it.
(She has not spoken with our family for quite awhile as well)

Lou::: I love the "cross dressing Dr. Lou Carnegi title ...very funny.

Rev::: Interesting reading about the IDEAL study.  It is good to see that geno 1's are getting studied, and hopefully going to get to the point where tx will be 100% SVR.....Thanks

[snook_man]

I agree with your comment 100%.. Hit my personality right on the tee also. I am always smiling, and never let anyone know I'm hurt.. You could not tell anything at all is wrong with me..I look like Justin Timberlake, if you can picture that. All my bloodwork is perfect, my CT is flawless, but I have stage 2/3 fibrosis. Never been depressed in my life, always controlled my attitude, and avoided situations that would bring me down.
I read the 300 page insert, as REV stated, and thought that depression would be the last thing I would have to worry about. The least of my concerns!! Like I stated above, it was if I was hit by a 2x4. I freaked out, cause I was unable to control the situation.. You have to understand before going into tx, that you MIGHT NOT be able to control the situation, but except the fact that you are going to ride with whatever happens. These are some heavy duty drugs. The FDA website, states all the possible sx's, some permanent, and then states that it is still cost effective..
Yesterday, in my Doc's office, there was a man waiting to get his blood work done. He was sleeping in the chair, had a pillow around his neck, and snoring at the top of his lungs. When he woke up, he looked at me, with blood shot eyes, pale face, completely dioriented, and asked what happened?? He was on tx, his 4th week, and told me it was one hell of a ride. Now this was a stocky male, about 260lbs.. He told me it was kicking his @ss!! I thanked him for the encouragement, and turned away.
I wish you the best, but in alot of cases, it is not always mind over matter.. I am also totally against using any forms of drugs. I suffer from allergies, but don't take the meds. I get headaches, never touch a tylenol. I hate medication, Dr's, and always believed that I could will my way out of the situation. May 21st, was one hell of a awakening. I can't believe I'm taking these damn Effexors, but if it will get me through, it is only temporary!!

[Showboat]

Sorry, I ran out of posting room.  I just want to say thanks for the laugh......I had a great laugh as I "saw" us all lined up in a makeup room (like a theatre dressing room with the wall to wall mirrors and bulb lights surrounding the whole thing) skinny, rumpled, scraggly, itched through houserobes, heating pads, ointments, broken nails, bumps, dried skin, long eyelashes and eyebrows that are growing upwards to the Heavens........all drinking tons of water, trying to put our "street" makeup on (and my wig) just to go out and get the mail.....teee heee....Thanks for the laugh!!!!!!

[Califia]

Hey, turn off the web cam, would ya?   I keep having to duck into the toilet to get out of camera range, but I assure you that's getting old fast!

Guess I'm a little behind the beat here.  All of you on Eastern Standard have conducted a full seminar by the time I stagger into the room.   I love it!  I just love you guys, each and every one of you.   The honesty and bravery that is recorded here is just so astounding.   If our "professional" journalists had half the integrity of the reporters on this board,  the good ol USA (dare I say) would be a far healthier and saner place to live in.    

Even though I've checked in on the side of "Do What You Have to Do To Get Through,"  I know in my heart and soul that community is the best medicine.   Thank you all for, well, being yourselves.  (Fans of Sly, you know the next line.)

[Showboat]

Hey Lou...was thinking about you....I must own at least 25 wigs...I am one of the unfortunate ones with the "patchy" hair....ugh!!!so, being a woman...I MUST have good hair days......can be fun though...........................
Well, I have to laugh because I wear all colors and all lengths.....I think my neighbors think my husband is having numerous affairs...they see him leave with a "different" woman every day...LOL.....You can borrow one from me whenever you want....LOL......

[Jody Blonde]

I read all of your writings and I feel different because whatever tx is I will never be able to take it due to the autoimmune hepatitis I am being treated for and knowing the Chronic C is still at work on me.  I am and have been taking steroids for two and a half yrs now and recently discovered that I can never be treated for the C virus, so I don't really know what my outcome might be.  I do try to stay positive in my thinking, I just can't seem to get my body under control & quit shaking long enough to even think straight. It does make me relax a bit though to here all the joking going on in light of the seriousness all are going thru and I wish the best for all of you that are beginning or just finishing up your treatments. Luck & Love to all, Jody

[Showboat]

Good Morning........LOL..that is sweet...That is how I feel about everyone too....you included.

[Sam Hall]

Right ...last night i had a strange dream...iwas laying alone in my bed when the Pope appeared  "Sam" he said " I must have your liver" and with one wobbly movement of his hand he slipped that old piece of rubber straight from my right side. He turned and was gone. I, of course lay shiverring in horror. I know it was deseased but i loved that old liver, i felt very lonely,down,deprressed. Sometime later the Pope reapeared,my he looked down, " I tried to sell this bit of **** as a holy relic"he said "did any ***ker want some, not so much as a kiss my ring. Here have it back'looser." Without ceromony he stuffed it right back. No one wants it thought and i felt down,fed up depressed. But i still love that old liver and when i woke-up i took it for a walk and minced a bit just to show the locals me and my liver are the "dogs bolloks" in this town.
Sammuel Hall

[Califia]

(a little vaudeville drum roll):   PA DA BUM.

[Showboat]

I cannot even imagine what you have to deal with.  I am glad you are part of our family here.  I do not know much about your condition......and please forgive me for not being informed...if you cannot do hepc tx, what type of encouragement or alternate tx did your doc suggest?  Would you mind if I send up some prayers for you?  I definitely am sending you some love and hope and good positive vibes...................glad you are here, and please post often.....I would like to know how you are doing.......Peace and Love to you.

[Lucky Lou]

Wow thanks, actually I was thinking of going with a Lona Horne thing for the bus . Got anything like that? I am also looking for some silver snake bangels. Please help, desperate!

LOU

[Sam Hall]

Sorry was that a personal attck on me?
SH