Dry mouth,sad heart

[Luke307]

I was diagnosed with 1a a year ago and started peg combo 3 months .My side effects have been horrendous with flu and fever and headaches and you name it. Nurse called today and had me cut my riba down as bloodwork was getting out of order.My mouth becomes so dry at night that I have sores. I'm up constantly all night either guzzling water or peeing.(every 45 minutes).If that isn't enough my christian wife of 3 years who I adored decided to bail on me on xmas eve,.Actually she threw me out. I tried not to be a burden to her and don't think I was, though was having a very hard time showing her my appreciation because of the meds. She brought up arguments we had a year ago as a reason. Also she said she wanted to be free. What timing. So now I've had to move and buy furnishings and try to take care of myself and fight this monster all at once.
My question, does anyone have insight as to what made her act that way so abruptly? She says she wants to seperate for a year or so. Seems completely out of character. Do diseases make people act that way toward their spouse? She seemed to love me a lot until I got sick. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

[audreywald]

I have no answer as to why your wife has reacted this way. Perhaps your being ill was very frightening for her. Maybe you being vulnerable is something she could not handle.

I am so very sorry that this is happening to you. You are NOT alone. Here you will find much support and understanding.

I am sending you good thoughts.

[DH Bill]

Hard to say man. Some people don't handle this stuff very well.
I have been a real ******* to live with at times. My spouse deserves a medal when this is over.
Concentrate on getting thru this tx now. Trust me, you will be a different person when this is over usually for the better

[Commdude]

Luke:

I went through a similar situation.  My girlfriend basically basically freaked out on me when I told her I had it...and basically dumped me.  Then she found out she had it, and blamed me.  Turns out...after she had her biopsy done, her doc told her that she could not have possibly gotten it from me due to the wide variance in viral load, extent of damage, etc.  Glad she told me that.   In any case, I was too bitter about how she treated me...ugly things she said, and actually tried to make me feel ashamed to have gotten it, etc..after I found she told me of her condition, I don't really want to get back with her anyway because of all of that.

My Godson wasn't even allowed to come into my house because the parents were too uninformed, and afraid of me...and still think you can get it from a toilet seat.  As much as I tried to teach them about it, and provide resources, they chose to remain ignorant about it.

As for treatment, that too was a trying situation.   This board actually was a godsend in that it made me feelt hat I was not alone, and helped me cope with treatment.  I also sent this link to people to read when I was at some of the lowest lows during treatment to get people to understand how it feels.    No-one who is not doing treatment can really know.

But...ya know...all in all, this all goes to show how some people really are.   Then again, you can't fault some people for their reactions, since most of it is based on ignorance, and some people just don't know how to handle being around someone with a disease, or even want to know.

This whole experience has dramatically change how I pick my friends, and though there is some bitterness there, it opened my eyes to alot of things.  

Now, that I am over it, to me, it is a good "test" of people's reactions when I tell them I had it.   It's a great "friend" filter and nothing to be ashamed of.

Hang in there.   Hope for the best.....

[Honey15637]

I read both your postings and they are hard to accept that this is what people we supposedly care about do to us.  I know this year will be trying for both of you but you will get through it and be a better person of it.  And, yes  Pick your friends a little more selective but honestly who needs someone that bails out on you when this is the time...you need someone the very most.  I believe there is a reason for everything and I am still at times questioning after finding out about having this...what is the reason for this season??  But I'm sure it will come to all of us in time.  Take care both of you and fight that much harder for your health!

[jamit_a]

Dear Luke,

I was in the same boat as you on Christmass, My wife left me a couple of times during TX. She's Christian and so am I and at times I was a jerk on TX but when 2 become one it's for better or worse through sickness and in health right? unless your life is in total danger, I beleive you should work your marriage out!
Listen if she truly loves you she'll be back!

My advice to you at this point is to stick to your therapy and get better! Your health at this point is  more important. You can always work on your marriage but you only have one life and one body so take care of it. Have you tried going on AD's? they may help you if your down about your situation at this time.

To sume this up just keep the faith pray about your circumstances
and keep on fighting!!!!

God bless you,
Jamit_a

[Fubarcat]

Sorry for your current situation, but things can change so quickly.  Perhaps your wife just needed some time/space to figure out what she wants to do.  This illness can be extremely devastating on our loved ones, as well as ourselves, and maybe initially she just wasn't up to what she assumed was going to be her responsibility to help take care of you when you need it.  Give her the time and space, and maybe you two can work things out.  You said she loved you before you got your diagnosis, and if that is true, she may come through for you.  But in the meantime, you have to concentrate on yourself and your health and try to get rest and deal with the daily ups and downs of this ******* virus.  I'm sending you good healing vibes and hope for a reconciliation with your wife, if that is what you want.

[lollymart]

I'm sorry your wife left you.  It sounds to me that she used your getting sick as an excuse to leave.  Everything happens for a reason and I think that you will be a stronger and better person in the long run.  Keep believing that.  Also, I come here everyday to read and learn so I can better understand my husband and what he goes through.  I scour the medical websites and print out anything pertinent that I feel would interest him.  He has good days and bad days and on those really bad days I wish that it was me going through it instead of him.  And when he has a "riba rage" episode or a brain fog episode I have you people in here to thank for my education and patience.  We've been together 20 years and I would never let something like this scare me away.  I'm fighting the dragon with him by his side.   :^)

lurker,
Lori (wife of fellow hepper nik)

[Luke307]

Thank you each and all for your thoughts and help.It made me feel so... much better to know I'm not alone.I feel like I could probably never trust her again although I'm a christian. She had been advised many times by nurses and docs to call them if I had side effects like I was having and she didn't. Also she didn't bother to even check on me in a cold motel room with no food or phone and too sick and nightmarish to get help. (My daughter doesn't know as she works full time and goes to college full time  and so I haven't told her as she doesn't need the worry.)Any way, I'll be coming back and thanks again ,Chevy, I hope you do well with your second shot, Commudude thanks bud and good luck Lolly bless you for taking such good care of your husband,
Luke

[DebbieDo]

Sweetie, you can't beat yourself in the head trying to figure your wife out.....what's most important now is "YOU".......keep your chin up......Think about being positive during this trying time in your life........IM all alone in this, too.......its tough sometimes.......but, through the love of God....i will get through this and so will you.......We are all here for you.......
Hang in there :)~  Deb

[lookin-up]

I am also a christian - not only have I found a home & support here, (altho I don't post too often) I also have tremendous support from my church in many different ways.  As a christian, you know that prayer works & that our God is in the miracle business.  Maybe talking to your Pastor would help you.(?)

Everybody here is so caring with wonderful things to say - too bad we can't pass around real live hugs, cuz ya need one right now.  I'll be praying for you.

Lookin' up

[Luke307]

Thank You all again,I'm overwhelmed in a good way by all the great comments. Cheers to all of my fellow heppers out there. I'm feeling pretty good this evening!! Ever Onward!!!

[cindee]

I am so sorry to hear of you problems. I know a guy on tx. and his wife left him on Thanksgiving. I think sometimes ppl don't understand the sx. My friend who's wife left, thought he was being a baby!!!!!!! I hate to see what might happen to her, she took him for better or for worse....in sickness and in health. I also think that spouses feel so helpless and run from their problems, instead of facing them head-on. You hang in there and keep your faith in GOD. He will take care of you. I know he is taking care of my problems. The main one being my 30 yr old daughter has turned to crack, and has lost everything....she is homeless, going from one friend to another. YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS. Cindee

[Luke307]

Thanks again everyone, Dave,in my saner moments I know that her situation isn't entirely  normal. I don't want to worry anyone unnecessarily with my situation. I'm sure your marriage will be just fine, so charge on my friend.