Aa
EVERYTHING makes me sooooo angry! Should I get on anti-depressants or what?
I used to smoke when I got stressed out. Well, since I am on tx I don't since cigs don't taste good and make me naseated.
But EVERYTHING is making me angry and I am yelling at my three kids and husband every 20 minutes it seems!!!
And don't get behind me or in front of me in traffic!!
I am mean to coworkers and persons who come into our office to take care of matters before our court.
I think I need something to take the edge off or I might commit bodily harm to someone at some point!!!!!!
I am already predisposed to having an attitude but now I feel like I can go from zero to 60 in the blink of an eye.
I am only 4 shots into this tx and have 20 more to go.
Any words of wisdom?
But EVERYTHING is making me angry and I am yelling at my three kids and husband every 20 minutes it seems!!!
And don't get behind me or in front of me in traffic!!
I am mean to coworkers and persons who come into our office to take care of matters before our court.
I think I need something to take the edge off or I might commit bodily harm to someone at some point!!!!!!
I am already predisposed to having an attitude but now I feel like I can go from zero to 60 in the blink of an eye.
I am only 4 shots into this tx and have 20 more to go.
Any words of wisdom?
post treatment and still depressed and angry...I will be 64 in July... a LADY before the 48 weeks of treatment with Rib and interferon. I have til june 15th forpost treatment time. I have a potty mouth on occasion now. I used the f word talking about someone I was mad at because she did not like the fact that I was not keeping up socially with friends... "well, blank her!" I said. My daughter, who will be 40 in August, responded with, "Mom, I HAVE NEVER HEARD YOU TALK LIKE THAT!" I knew she would go and tell my 85 year old mother so... I beat her to it. and told her myself. " Mom, I got so mad I said blank Edna." My mother responded with "You said that, dear?" I am not the same gal I used to be that is for sure, but at least I speak my mind and no one messes with me now. LOL Altho' I try very hard not to let that slip out I do get angry and upset real easy and I cry. I take Lexapro before bedtime 20mg. and my Dr. thinks I should stay on it at least until the 6 months are up. I have not kept up with some friends because I just was not able to. I do not miss them. I am close to my family and have a very best friend... I am very fortunate in that respect and my husband has been very supportive. People have no idea of how difficult treatment side effects are. I am still very tired and often I sleep in in the morning... It is the best sleep. Then, I feel better. I do believe the antidepressant helps, but I want to get off as soon as I can when I start feeling like my own self again. This forum has helped me a lot. Many came forward and shared that they too are having a rough post treatment... We are all in this together. GRRR_RRRR {smile here}
You poor thing! Just kidding. I too am on leave. I did notice that in the first 4 weeks were worse than now,but I do take AD.
I'm not taking the chance. Hell if I'm going to spend the night in jail on tx. Thats a joke ,but very true.
It's easy for me to tell to just take a deep breath and realize it 's the meds.
If it's as bad as you say it is you need something like xanax for immeadiate response. Of course they can become addictive just don't let it take you over.
I had a friend it was ridiculous. She got carried away. It's to help as needed not to get high.
As far as liver friendly, I'm finding that everything is absorbed into the liver.
What are you going to do. You can't continue freaking out over every little thing. It's not healthy to be stressed out all the time and I'm sure it's interfering with your treatment. Stress kills.
Do something now and don't feel guilty about it. Deal with your symptoms, like you said you're only on your 4th shot. You know,if you keep wacking out they may take you off treatment, so do something about it.
I'm not taking the chance. Hell if I'm going to spend the night in jail on tx. Thats a joke ,but very true.
It's easy for me to tell to just take a deep breath and realize it 's the meds.
If it's as bad as you say it is you need something like xanax for immeadiate response. Of course they can become addictive just don't let it take you over.
I had a friend it was ridiculous. She got carried away. It's to help as needed not to get high.
As far as liver friendly, I'm finding that everything is absorbed into the liver.
What are you going to do. You can't continue freaking out over every little thing. It's not healthy to be stressed out all the time and I'm sure it's interfering with your treatment. Stress kills.
Do something now and don't feel guilty about it. Deal with your symptoms, like you said you're only on your 4th shot. You know,if you keep wacking out they may take you off treatment, so do something about it.
ADs can take at least a month to work - my doc put me on them a month before I started treatment (thank God crazy Italian girl here). I don't know that they helped with the riba rage though - that is a completely different sort of thing. That was an immediate overpowering urg to kill somebody or just SCREAM or shoot oncoming traffic something wild!
The ADs have helped me tremendously but I've found the only thing that helped with the rage is just to try and count and get away from everyone around me for a minute because it passes just as quickly as it came if I didn't obsess on it.
It DOES fade in time as you get used to the meds - that is one good thing.
The ADs as far as I know are more for depression.
The ADs have helped me tremendously but I've found the only thing that helped with the rage is just to try and count and get away from everyone around me for a minute because it passes just as quickly as it came if I didn't obsess on it.
It DOES fade in time as you get used to the meds - that is one good thing.
The ADs as far as I know are more for depression.
I suggest a change of professions. Hve you considered becoming a hit person for the mob ?
Honestly, I say my sense of humor has saved me but I've gotten both my kids angry with me. I called my daughter white trash, and couldn't stop laughing. She wanted some sympathy and I just kept making stupid jokes. I've thrown tantrums, started crying and stomping my foot when my husband only wanted to help me, AND I don't take antidepressents. It has lessened. I no longer fall apart everytime I hear anything about Iraq.
I meditate and smoke medicinal herb. I don't work and avoid people when I'm in certain moods. I do use slow deep breathing to calm me down but I advocate whatever works for you. Good luck.
Honestly, I say my sense of humor has saved me but I've gotten both my kids angry with me. I called my daughter white trash, and couldn't stop laughing. She wanted some sympathy and I just kept making stupid jokes. I've thrown tantrums, started crying and stomping my foot when my husband only wanted to help me, AND I don't take antidepressents. It has lessened. I no longer fall apart everytime I hear anything about Iraq.
I meditate and smoke medicinal herb. I don't work and avoid people when I'm in certain moods. I do use slow deep breathing to calm me down but I advocate whatever works for you. Good luck.
There are many good antidepressants that can be a major help. If you read the literature that comes with interferon, it says that irritability is one of the side effects along with suicidal ideation and psychotic breaks. It is a very powerful drug and any doctor prescribing it will be willing to give you something to help with the symptoms.
My doctor started me on effexor two weeks before my first interferon dose and I find this course of treatments much easier to deal with than the four previous times I took it without any antidepressants.
My doctor started me on effexor two weeks before my first interferon dose and I find this course of treatments much easier to deal with than the four previous times I took it without any antidepressants.
One last thing. It helped me knowing that my partner and family knew that anger was a major part of tx (for some/most people). Give your family these comments. It might help them and you by mutually knowing this problem is tx related and nothing personal about you or them.
I'm on the a/d side. Psychiatric issues or a well documented side of tx. A lot of drs offer a/ds before the start of tx. My personality is like a pinball machine anyhow. Up, down, sideways, and then down the black hole. I worry about everything, it's a family trait, like our hyperactivity or brown eyes. A/d's help me not to react to everything like it's the end of the world. I don't think medication is the solution for everything, here's a website that I found helpfulon generalized anxiety disorders:http://www.helpguide.org/mental/generalized_anxiety_disorder.htm
Talk to your dr and see what he suggests. Good luck! Peace:)
Bug
Talk to your dr and see what he suggests. Good luck! Peace:)
Bug
I knew in advance the riba rage issue. I named myself WillPower, which was the first thing that came to my mind when I joined this forum. Riba rage took all the willpower I could muster, but I did it JUST BY REMEMBERING MY RAGE WAS "ARTIFICIALLY" INDUCED. Riba rage is NOT based on reality, it is artificially induced. I totally disrespected my rage and knew I was not being considerate to the very people that were helping me!!! You can do it by remembering your rage is "not reality", just an artificial, inaccurate "interpretation" of events. Nice post. I think this issue is "the" most difficult part of therapy. Nice that you could admit it with such honesty.
Take a deep breath, eat something, and chill! With me, the beginning of Tx was the worst; my irritability seemed to be fueled by hunger. I was at my worst in the late afternoon, when I was trying to fix dinner. I was hungry, I wanted to eat---NOW---and still had to go through all that food preparation and stuff. AAARRRGGGHHH!!! If my hubby said the wrong thing I almost went over the edge.
Things have mellowed now, at 16 weeks. I rarely come close to losing it. Practice serenity: breathe in....breathe out.... and you'll be ok.
Things have mellowed now, at 16 weeks. I rarely come close to losing it. Practice serenity: breathe in....breathe out.... and you'll be ok.
i have been off tx for almost a week. was in ER last night i don't know how i managed to keep my mouth shut...there were several very discurtious people in the waiting room. Loud, another talking on the phone. You would have thought you were at the circus...
i got through tx w/o antidep. but was taking antianxiety meds, i would take one 15 mg. serax at pm. to try i say try to help me sleep. this might have helped me in daytime and i did occassionally take 1/2 during the day.
my kids learned to head me off at the pass when they saw me attempting to say anything. but i didn't feel well enough to go out in public or deal with them.. your job must be very tough. get whatever you need to make i more comfortable for you. and increase chance you can keep working on tx. i think people who aren't isolative get through it better. i was surprised that i could not work, really thought i'd have been among the working treaters..
good luck
i got through tx w/o antidep. but was taking antianxiety meds, i would take one 15 mg. serax at pm. to try i say try to help me sleep. this might have helped me in daytime and i did occassionally take 1/2 during the day.
my kids learned to head me off at the pass when they saw me attempting to say anything. but i didn't feel well enough to go out in public or deal with them.. your job must be very tough. get whatever you need to make i more comfortable for you. and increase chance you can keep working on tx. i think people who aren't isolative get through it better. i was surprised that i could not work, really thought i'd have been among the working treaters..
good luck
I know the riba attitude feeling well, unfortunately. Mine comes and goes, but at the time its hard to see things as they really are. Everything gets on your nerves, at least in my case.
I know you don't want a problem at work, so I guess maybe you should talk to your doctor and see what he has to say about maybe giving you something to take the edge off.. I never felt like I was going to smack someone, but I'm not one that swears and I have had a few words come out that I wasn't too proud of as I was driving my car. I feel I own the road ever since I started tx. I don't own the road everyday, but I just wish I knew ahead of time what days I think I own it, cause I wouldn't drive that day.
If your children are young, its not good for them to see this because they don't understand, but if they are teens or older, I would hope they would cut you some slack and just realize its not the 'real you' behaving like this. If they try to remember that you will be back to your normal self after tx they should be able to let some stuff slide and not get upset if you are moody.
My husband is great as far as understanding me during tx and how I can have attitude or not always see things clearly. He is giving me a lesson in unconditional love without even realizing he is doing it just by the example he sets with his patience with me. Maybe if we didn't know each other so long it would be hard, but he knows what I was like before tx, so he lets things go if I give him an attitude. I don't like when he grins and pats me on the head tho. LOL But he's able to laugh it all off. I tried to explain to him don't grin if he thinks I am in a wacky moment cuz that can make things worse cuz I think he's is making fun of me. But on the other hand, thank God he takes things so lightly.
I hope you feel better soon, but know that you are not alone. Alot of us are struggling with getting along with people. It's very hard at times, but this too shall pass.
I know you don't want a problem at work, so I guess maybe you should talk to your doctor and see what he has to say about maybe giving you something to take the edge off.. I never felt like I was going to smack someone, but I'm not one that swears and I have had a few words come out that I wasn't too proud of as I was driving my car. I feel I own the road ever since I started tx. I don't own the road everyday, but I just wish I knew ahead of time what days I think I own it, cause I wouldn't drive that day.
If your children are young, its not good for them to see this because they don't understand, but if they are teens or older, I would hope they would cut you some slack and just realize its not the 'real you' behaving like this. If they try to remember that you will be back to your normal self after tx they should be able to let some stuff slide and not get upset if you are moody.
My husband is great as far as understanding me during tx and how I can have attitude or not always see things clearly. He is giving me a lesson in unconditional love without even realizing he is doing it just by the example he sets with his patience with me. Maybe if we didn't know each other so long it would be hard, but he knows what I was like before tx, so he lets things go if I give him an attitude. I don't like when he grins and pats me on the head tho. LOL But he's able to laugh it all off. I tried to explain to him don't grin if he thinks I am in a wacky moment cuz that can make things worse cuz I think he's is making fun of me. But on the other hand, thank God he takes things so lightly.
I hope you feel better soon, but know that you are not alone. Alot of us are struggling with getting along with people. It's very hard at times, but this too shall pass.
Honey it's ok.....It's the Ribavirin..Your going thru the loading period,I know EXACTLY what your going thru.....If you were a brown bear in the Alaska wilderness there would be no survivors for hundreds of miles..NONE!
I can only relate to you what My doctor did for me..I didn't want to get on citalopram (Celexa)....So he prescribed me Hydroxyzine (Atarax).Hydroxyzine pamoate..It works great for me....I take 2 at night for sleep,just that dose at night carries thru the day for me and keeps me mellow..It kind knocks the edge off Riba and it's tx safe....And if you start to itch or get rashes it works on that also..AND ITS CHEAP....
I can only relate to you what My doctor did for me..I didn't want to get on citalopram (Celexa)....So he prescribed me Hydroxyzine (Atarax).Hydroxyzine pamoate..It works great for me....I take 2 at night for sleep,just that dose at night carries thru the day for me and keeps me mellow..It kind knocks the edge off Riba and it's tx safe....And if you start to itch or get rashes it works on that also..AND ITS CHEAP....
Actually, the therapist is the reason i'm not on ad's yet.
But i agree that if i was working now (music teacher in urban school with 500 students per week, 150-200 per day) there's no way i could do it without something to calm me down.
there have been times over the past 18 weeks where I've gotten so furious i thought i was going to have a heart attack. And that was when i was alone, in my house, pushed to the edge by something as simple as the battery to the tv remote dying, or the dog tipping over the trash can, or discovering i'm out of coffeemate for my morning coffee - stupid stuff that never would have made me blink an eye before tx.
but you sound really stressed.
Can you contact the office and ask the doctor to call in something to your pharmacy so you don't have to wait until april 30 to get started?
good luck,
wyntre
But i agree that if i was working now (music teacher in urban school with 500 students per week, 150-200 per day) there's no way i could do it without something to calm me down.
there have been times over the past 18 weeks where I've gotten so furious i thought i was going to have a heart attack. And that was when i was alone, in my house, pushed to the edge by something as simple as the battery to the tv remote dying, or the dog tipping over the trash can, or discovering i'm out of coffeemate for my morning coffee - stupid stuff that never would have made me blink an eye before tx.
but you sound really stressed.
Can you contact the office and ask the doctor to call in something to your pharmacy so you don't have to wait until april 30 to get started?
good luck,
wyntre
I don't think talking to a counselor would help very much. :-(
It is almost a PHYSICAL thing with a huge adrenaline rush & I feel ready to yell and yell and verbally best ANYONE who dares to challenge me.
I am even telling people, "DO NOT argue with me because YOU WILL NOT WIN!!!!"
I think DH is starting to flee to whatever part of the house I am not in or just sleep on his days off to avoid me. LOL
It burns me up if my kids start talking back to me.
I had to call customer service today for a bill that was in error and that poor woman got an earful. (I did refrain from any curse words...but just barely. LOL)
I hope the doc can give me something to mellow me out.
I was anticipating sadness & depression but this rage has almost totally overtaken me!
I just want everyone to leave me alone or go find a hotel room to live in and isolate myself so I don't get worked up over issues.
It will be a long few days til my next doctor appointment on April 30.
It is almost a PHYSICAL thing with a huge adrenaline rush & I feel ready to yell and yell and verbally best ANYONE who dares to challenge me.
I am even telling people, "DO NOT argue with me because YOU WILL NOT WIN!!!!"
I think DH is starting to flee to whatever part of the house I am not in or just sleep on his days off to avoid me. LOL
It burns me up if my kids start talking back to me.
I had to call customer service today for a bill that was in error and that poor woman got an earful. (I did refrain from any curse words...but just barely. LOL)
I hope the doc can give me something to mellow me out.
I was anticipating sadness & depression but this rage has almost totally overtaken me!
I just want everyone to leave me alone or go find a hotel room to live in and isolate myself so I don't get worked up over issues.
It will be a long few days til my next doctor appointment on April 30.
Try Prozac(fluoxetine) - kid tested, doctor approved.
Actually it's the only re-uptake inhibitor deemed safe enough for pediatric use by the FDA, last I heard. Everything else we give our kids is 'off label'. Also has the longest half-life of all the SSRIs so is the easiest to wean off of.
Or so I've heard.
Actually it's the only re-uptake inhibitor deemed safe enough for pediatric use by the FDA, last I heard. Everything else we give our kids is 'off label'. Also has the longest half-life of all the SSRIs so is the easiest to wean off of.
Or so I've heard.
Welcome to the world of riba rage.
unfortunately, it seems to be very common on TX.
It's definitely not you, it's the meds.
I started seeing a therapist about a month ago as an alternative to AD'S but lots of folk on forum take meds and it really seems to help them.
If i wasn't on so much other stuff right now, i'd be among them. i do have a script but haven't started yet. I find the 'rage' is severe about two days a week (i'm on week 18 of 48) and the rest of the time it's manageable.
but if i had to be around a lot of people now (i'm on medical leave) i don't think i could handle it - i'd probably get fired. . .
FWIW, you're not alone.
wyntre
unfortunately, it seems to be very common on TX.
It's definitely not you, it's the meds.
I started seeing a therapist about a month ago as an alternative to AD'S but lots of folk on forum take meds and it really seems to help them.
If i wasn't on so much other stuff right now, i'd be among them. i do have a script but haven't started yet. I find the 'rage' is severe about two days a week (i'm on week 18 of 48) and the rest of the time it's manageable.
but if i had to be around a lot of people now (i'm on medical leave) i don't think i could handle it - i'd probably get fired. . .
FWIW, you're not alone.
wyntre
that was one of the hardest thing for me on tx. was the mental attitude i had. i would build up things in my mind and feel so angry for days. an anti depressant may help but i was unable to take much of them. except for low dose.
things i could ordinarily let go and rise above would seeth inside me and it was awful. i would feel slighted and not be able to let it go. it made me feel awful about myself. i felt like my friends werent there for me or no one understood and i focused on myself way too much. that part of the treatment was something i never wanna experience again. fortunately i cured in 03.
things i could ordinarily let go and rise above would seeth inside me and it was awful. i would feel slighted and not be able to let it go. it made me feel awful about myself. i felt like my friends werent there for me or no one understood and i focused on myself way too much. that part of the treatment was something i never wanna experience again. fortunately i cured in 03.
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