Explaination

[52TELE]

Hello friends. I needed to tell you all a couple of things about me leaving .
I'm not leaving here because anyone made me mad or ran me off , Jim honestly , there is nothing you have ever done that has even mildly agitate me. You're a Gem (pardon the pun). I do have a couple of different reasons that I have decided that it is not in my best interest to continue on the way I have been.

I have let this disease define me. I have become the disease. It occupies my every waking moment . I have let my friends of many years go by the wayside in favor of being involved with a group of people I will never even meet and whose names I will never know but have grown very fond of despite the bazaar circumstances of all of our relationships.
I have to re-engage my life, that's some advice I saw in a post the other day. Re-engage your life. The phrase jumped off of the page at me in perfect clarity , and that's what I have to do . I have to  pull my attention away from here and on to some of the many people and things that have been neglected for the last several months. I have to change.

The second reason I have to back off is the agitation I have felt with some members that take it upon themselves to TELL people what they are suppose to do and not do and how they insult some of the people here that I am fond of and respect. It just pissas me off when people do that.  I got angry today with the way one member rudely addressed another  and it occurred to me , Why am I sitting here getting angry because someone I don't know said something to someone else I don't know about making changes to a forum that is not ours to change!  This thing has a life of its own and it's crazy to think that we can somehow shape it into what we want. It is visited and used by thousands of people that don't give a rip about what any of us think and they sure as heck aren't going to go by a bunch of rules set up by a bunch of people that don't really even have the right to even discuss rules. Don't get me wrong , I was right in there  , I agreed . LETS FIX IT.  It's not our forum!  What is truly ridiculous is us getting mad at each other about something that none of us have the power to change.  Israel was blowing up Lebanon and I was mad at this forum. I have taken all of this to personally and made it too important. I have to change.

Bye for now and god speed to all of you , even you dale.:)

[friole]

Hey, Tele, you barely got here.  You certainly don't have to leave.  Usually I read and do not post on these threads -- and in the 15 months I have been posting, believe me, this is Deja Vu all over again.

I agree with so much you say -- interfacing again with the outside world is critical.  I have been avoiding so much of that for a year.  This world here - this little forum of ours (meaning those with hep C) is a little microcosm.  I think there is a natural separation from it as your questions get answered.  Also, there are a lot of indiviuals posts I don't read because they have taken a "stance" and I know that stance and it is always the same.  So my recommendation is to just leave those threads/ posters alone.  There is still value here and you have been an enjoyable member.  These drugs do make us take too much personally, me thinks.
frijole - kathy

[jmjm530]

Tele: I have to re-engage my life
---------------------------------
Teriffic post. What you said above is exactly what my shrink has been telling me for a long time, although I did try to explain to him at one point during tx that it was hard enough for me to engage getting through a meal as opposed to my life :)

Personally, before tx, I hardly gave hep c a thought even though I knew I had it for close to 40 years. Since starting tx, as you say, it has consummed my life.

Your intelligence and humor will be missed but I do hope that however long (or short) your break, it will help separate you the person from the disease which is such a very important point.

I echo your thoughts about the dark side of the forum and left once for similar reasons. I finally came to the conclusion that since none of us here have any control, the place will probably remain the way it has always been, for better or worse.

Thanks for the nice words and all the best with your journey.

-- Jim

[Myown]

Even though I am new here, I so agree with you about this all consuming disease. My husband even tells me to take a break from the computer, with all the reading I am doing. Maybe you just need a temporary break. Putting off being with friends in the visible world is not good, so go have some fun with people who miss being with you, but then come by and say hi to the people that i'm sure will miss you from here.

wish you the best!

[amirtracy]

I know how you feel as well. This disease has consumed me also. I understand needing a break and getting on with your life. I also feel like that sometimes, however I don't know anyone else with this disease that I can talk to about any of this so this place and you people have become my friends and confidants. I don't know you personally but i feel i do know you, if that makes any sense.?.I leave but not for long because i really want to know how everyone is and i have questions noone else can answer sometimes. It is definently draining tho'. Good luck to you 52tele. I hope you come back when you're ready. I, for one, will miss you. I've really enjoyed your humor and insights and you've made this a much better place for me.   your friend, Tracy

[Stvski80085]

I enjoy everyones comments in here.  I do look forward to reading and posting from time to time.  I agree though that you may need to shift your focus a little and spend some time with those you love.  This is a great place and I can tell people really need this forum at times.  I do know a lot of the names sometimes just by the way the thread is wrote.  I have been in here almost everyday since I found out I had hep c.  I wouldn't want things any other way.  I really appreciate all of you that take the time to post in here and really show total strangers that you care or understand what they are going through.  I hope everyones saturday isn't to bad after the shot last night.

Take care,

Steve

[lisajak1975]

WHAT A EGO YOU HAVE

[Stvski80085]

I know that sounds funny.  I mean for him he needs to spend more time with the people he loves if he is getting so aggrevated about what is going on in here.  I am fine with whatever happens in here and I do spend a lot of time with family.  I usually just check in here at night while I'm winding down.  I do stop by almost everyday though.  I think it is very helpful too.
Take care coast.

Steve

[sfbaygirl]

Not sure I have seen you before, but by the tone of your posts, you sound like someone who wasn't very nice. Your post to Steve was not very supportive.

[Stvski80085]

Thanks for the support.  I noticed his post earlier too telling tele to go ahead and get out of here or something like that.  He must not be very happy right now.  I don't know why someone would want to stir up trouble.  I consider everyone here a friend and hate to see all this nonsense going on.  I thank you for looking out for me though.  Take care of yourself.

Steve

[SnoWav]

Sounds like the right thing to do think about hep C less enjoy life more.Yep I like to stop by this board every day or two and see the new online faces and some of the old that are still hanging around but my wife thinks it kinda retarded she thinks the whole board thing is too depressing.She did her 48 weeks and cleared, had no interest here before during or after TX.Later

[Morgaina]

hey, you guys...remember the rule, dont engage in others bad behavior!(this is generally for behavioral challenged kids, but seems to fit here)

[mikesimon]

I can understand your need to get away. You'll be missed though and should you get the urge to return you'll be welcomed back warmly. Good luck to you. Mike

[sfbaygirl]

I'm glad you posted. You said it best about not liking to see people you have come to care about be dissed. I'm with you. I was thinking about this last night and realized what a chicken I am about saying things when I see this happening to others. As I said in the thread below. I am so fragile and sensitive now that it's easier for me to ignore it than to say anything. But then I don't feel good about it. It's hard to control what people will say on the internet. We saw this with Spacecoast4. Eventually, he was gone. I don't agree with everyone, but while on tx with others that are on tx, I don't want to have rude, insensitive and mean spirited comments made about anyone. I don't think those on the other end do either.

You want to spend time having a more normal life away from tx. I understand this, so would I. If you are feeling up to it, I don't see why you can't do both. The reality for me is that my life seems to have become much more narrow now that I am on tx. I don't go out with friends much. Now my family and friends come over, sometimes we go out, but many times I just dont' feel good. I enjoy the comraderie we have here on the forum and no friend or relative understands like you guys what I am going through. Besides I am NOT going to whine to others about sx, they don't get it. Even my docs don't understand how painful some of these sx are. Hope you will continue to check in and chat with us. You are needed and will be missed if you leave.

[Forseegood]

Regarding the "Coastline"....I think sometimes on boards there's games that are played, alter egos, good cop/bad cop in the same personality, etc...it's unfortunate, especially on a hep c board where people are ill and taking meds that can make them vulnerable, etc....I agree with Morgiana, sometimes if we see posts that are posted for no other reason then to get a rise, they are better left ignored...goes for anybody who is posting those "types" of posts...just my opinion, sure others have countering views...I'd rather focus on the good and the productive....

[Forseegood]

Forgot one thing, this goes double for a board that is unmoderated to a great extent, like this one...on a moderated board for ill people, this stuff is nipped in the bud, here we don't have those options...

[Drarig]

It will be good to get reconnected with your friends.  I don't know you, but you have been kind to me since I've been visiting this forum the past few months & I wish you the best of everything.

[amommy]

I hope you don't stay away long!  It is great that you are going to work on your "real life" right now.  That is most important.  Just know that we are all here when you are ready to come back!

[cuteus]

I knew who you were the moment you posted! hard not to.  of course the formula just  confirmed it. Funny how I was reading the bottom threads and your name was mentioned and some posts were missing and i thought to myself...hum! I wonder if he was banned and his comments blasted away??
now I know for sure, since the name change answers that one. I was also wondering how you were.

[Forseegood]

like I said, good cop/bad cop coming in different guises...it's unfortunate, there are a lot of people here not feeling well that prob can't afford all the "fun" and games...when they are ignored, they tend to go elsewhere, till they come back as a good guy, in which case they are far more palatable...don't mean to tell you what to do, just my two cents, other then that, hope youre having a nice weekend and your work troubles have lessened...

[St. George]

That last comment was the funniest thing posted on this board since I've been here!  Yes indeed, more riba, more interferon keep it coming and pile it high and deep!

[way]

Or coast4 Yeah whatever. It's obvious to me also who you are.
Still can't control your attitude? You should check it at door and just try to be helpful.

This is my last post, as long as you are still around. I'll just be lurking. Unless you are rude again to a newbie, then I'll jump in if no one else does.

Good luck to all.
Peace out.

[Kalio1]

mean people suck

[Pdilly]

Will miss you  Do come back for a chat.  If you have to focus on family and friends now that is great.  Think of some of us as your step family.  I to ignore some of the comments that I feel are inappropriate and out of line.    
Again do check in when you can.

[Pdilly]

Lets all just ignore Space until he chills out.