HAS ANYONE QUIT WITH ONLY 7 MORE SHOTS TO GO?????

[dodger1]

I want to quit so bad.  I feel like **** everyday and my muscles in my legs hurt so bad.  I am so depressed the way I look and feel now.  I look like I aged 10 years.  I want my life back.  I am on week 41/48.  I am geno 1a super responder.  I cleared in 3 weeks.  My question is should I chance quitting now.  I heard you only have to do 36 weeks after you clear which would have been 39 weeks of treatment.  My doctor said she would leave it up to me since I have been threw so many side effects.  I have nausea everyday also and my fingers are split which makes it hard on my job as a mail carrier.  The paper is drying my hands out so bad.  I put cream on and sleep with socks on.   My muscles are so weak that I can't hardly carry the laundry upstairs.  Enough venting!  Thanks for listening.

I just want to say thanks to ALL of you on here because if it wasn't for you guys I would have quit along time ago.

Jim how are you doing since you finished treatment?  I have been praying for ya!  I know in my mind that I should finish but I guess I need to here it from someone else.


Sheila...














  

[NYgirl]

Is there any possible way you can take it just day by day and make it through? You are just so close at this point.

I don't know if in reality it would make any difference BUT if you were to relapse in the future wouldn't you beat yourself up so bad wishing you had just finished?

That would certainly be me.

Best of luck in your decision. I'm sure they came to that number for some reason (48) but have no idea how or why.

[NYgirl]

i agree with Kalio - on the weekends i physically do as LITTLE as I possibly can and rest my body as much as possible so that I can get through the work week.  I figure every bit of rest is actually a productive thing. While of course I have to care for the kids and stuff - I make it as easy as I can and we eat on paper plates and little things like that make a big difference.

Also ... I attach myself to my remote control and some ice cream :)

[can-do-man]

One thing to consider is how much damage there was in your bx. people that have lots of damage should go the distance. Best of luck on whatever you decide.

[OnAPrettyPoison]

You are in a tough spot, but I agree with Kalio, forget the laundry, take a pain pill and prop up those feet!  I would probably try to get thru just because I don't want to do this again.  I can't wait for 48 weeks to get here so I can say poke me with a fork, I'm done!  I am 32/48 so I really can sympathize with you on the treatment.  I can't imagine being a mail carrier and treating!  Talk about tough!  My job is real demanding, and alot of days I would just love to stay home, but alas, I am not independently wealthy!  What ever you choose, we will be rooting for you!

[dodger1]

You guys are right that I would beat myself up if I relapsed and would always say what if I would have finished.  I already made up my mind that I would never go threw this again.  I would wait for the future medicines.  I really don't know mentally and physically how some of these people go threw this 2 or 3 times.  They have more strength than me.  Sheila

[fishdoc]

Hey there, I am with can man and NYgirl.  I have gone to new years eve parties twice and had one margarita, and beat myself up so bad over it, its just not worth it.  So guilt is a huge issue with me, and if I quit early..... and have a less than positive outcome, man I know who'll be blamed....

do you have enough sick leave to take a week off, or even fridays off for a while... so you have some extra relief to look forward to?

treat yourself kindly...

of course, I have only taken 7 shots, so its all easy for me to say...

[sailinlady]

I should have done shot 37 on Friday but messed up due to a very foggy brain - long story.  Anyway, I have thought about quitting A LOT in the last couple of weeks due to much the same symptoms you have.  I have nausea every day, BAD.  All my muscles and joints ach (what's left of them) and there are days I can barely walk I am so weak.  I've lost over 20 lbs, I've lost over 60 percent of my hair, my skin is horribly dry and I feel like I have aged at least 10 years if not 20.

Hang in there if you possibly can.  YOU ARE SO CLOSE.  When it's over you'll be proud and know that you did the best you could to obtain SVR.  I know it is hard but you are almost done.  Think of how bad it would be if you relapsed and had to start over.  I can't imagine doing your job, you have all my respect for that one.  Every week you are that much closer.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  We are all here to help you along.

[imbetternow]

I wanted to quit. I now have 1 shot left!

Here's what I think. Your chances of relaps are better if you stop early. My doc said 16 weeks after clearing has a 40% and 26 has a 10%. I'm 2a. Know this-When your done you can plan on some real relief. Especially the psyciatric. I'm down to 1 peg shot per week versus 1 15mcg infergen per day for 210 days.
I'm taking what most people do and have trouble but I'm now getting some Zzzzz's and feel a sense of peace.

Do what you gotta do!
Wes

[strator]

Man I wish tx wasn't so hard on people. Sometimes all the things we may suggest seem so hollow when we aren't the one going through it. I have realized more in the last few weeks that a little sx like the cracked hands can make or break my day and how it goes. So I try and concentrate on managing that sx as much as I can. Like you there's a lot of weather and dexterity involved at work for me with little wires and screws and large power tools. I'm sure that grabbing enelopes and mailboxes all day must be trying on tender fingers. esides the exertion of being on the move.
One thing that has helped me some recently at work is wearing those little white cotton gloves they usually have in pharmacies. Big gloves don't give me the dexterity. Bandaids tend to catch on everything or unravel. My hands do feel better when air isn't getting at the cracks and cuts and he cotton gloves are form fitting enough to leave me decent dexterity. Still have to take em off sometimes but it's progress.
Be Well, keep us posted
Don

[NYgirl]

LOL your foggy brain had you forget and mine had me forget and take it TWICE...we are all a mess aren't we?

Sometimes it's so not easy to do this but when we are cured and SVR for a year...it will be so worth it.

My brother in law quit early - he figured he didn't have any virus in him (he was UND) and didn't need to do it any longer.  He relapsed and now has to start all over again.  He went 9 months and was UND at week 4, what a shame. it definitely gives me the strength to keep on going. I dont ever want to do this again either

I look like hairless, skeletal, alligator lady (my GOD I have scars everywhere from where I guess I didn't lotion enough and didn't notice they popped up but must scratch in my sleep) this summer is going to rot. And then I'll have a scar on my throat too!

Is it worth all of that? Yeah if it's gone. Try and remember that. We all have good times and down times you aren't alone my friend.

[cuteus]

it sounds like your dr has let you suffer through anemia all these months. I remember you complained of this weakness a while back. He needs to understand that your job and quality or life need to be maintained. What happened to the Procrit issue? I can't remember what came out of tha one.  Another criteria for the short course of tx was a low initial viral load, what was yours?  The end of tx is the worse time ever, you see the finish line but your legs seem to slow down to a crawl at the worse possible moment, making that last stretch the most tortorous time of tx.

[sailinlady]

Yes, we are quite a pair aren't we?  Would that be "Brain Dead & Brain Gone"?  I freaked about it yesterday but have resigned myself to dealing with it tomorrow.

As bad as I feel some days, there is NO WAY I would let myself quit.  I'm not sure I could go through this again.  That is so sad about your brother in law.  Hopefully everyone here will post before giving up.  We are a strong group of brain foggers.

Glad to see you out here today.  Everyone was worried.  Like I said, good thing we are all so spread out or this creep would have to worry!

Take care girlfriend!

[Moniker]

Don't quit tx now. Can you get any vacation time from work? Try and finish treatment if you possibly can. The next few weeks will go by fast, and then you'll really be finished with treatment. It's not long now; you're almost there.
Bob

[cbee]

I am so sorry you are experiencing all the horrible symptoms of tx.  I finished tx last July and can only share my experience with you.  I too had a horrible horrible time of it and wanted to quit.  I looked 10 year older, lost my beautiful curls, ached and pained and felt hopeless.  In fact at the beginning my dose was lowered because the symptoms were so bad which caused me not to clear at 4 weeks. Over and over again I was going to quit and had it not been for this one nurse practitioner I would have.  I was a geno 2 and was supposed to do 24 weeks but was told since I didn't clear at week 4 (I cleared at week 12) I should go longer.  The doctors wanted me to go another 24 weeks but I just couldn't.  I decided I would go 6 extra weeks and that was all.  I was lucky, I ended up doing 30 weeks and am now virus free.  Those last 6 weeks were the absolutely worst.  I can tell you that I would NEVER do this treatment again.  Sounds like you wouldn't either.  PLEASE try to hang in there.  You got a great result quickly.  The time will be over before you know it.  Leave the chores and take care of yourself.  Is there any way you could take a disability leave for the rest of your treatment?

It's been 8 months now and I will tell you that my hair is growing back - slowly but it's coming.  My face has color again and I don't look sick anymore.  I'm exercising and with the exception of a little muscle pain I feel good.  I never thought I would feel like this again.  It was always a crapshoot with this tx but you've done so much of it already to quit at the finish line.  Hang in there and know we are all waiting in the wings rooting for you.

-cbee

[mom4two]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time.  I have to tell you before I had started tx my plan was to find out if I was a super responder, and if so I was only planning on doing the 24 or 26 weeks (I can't remember the number now) based on the european study for "super responders" with geno 1.  I then found out that I am a grade 3, which chaged everything and now am not planning on ending early.  I am now on week 5 of 48 if I was a "super responder"  and the tx just got too unbearable, I think after the 36 weeks UND I would ask 1st to have the meds decreased to see if I could go the full 48 weeks.  I wish you the best in whatever you decide, and keep us posted on your progress.


Lori

[cgd914]

I am right there with you 43/48 and these last weeks are becoming extremely long and tiring.  I try to stay busy but too tired too.  As many times as I have told myself I think it would be ok to quit now I know the guilt of relapse would be more unbearable than the treatment itself.  Hang in there!  You can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Just think how proud of yourself you will be at the finish line for doing all that you have done.

[friole]

Boy can I relate to this Sheila - and everyone else at about this stage.  I am at week 37 and have to agree, these final weeks/ months are the worst.  Sheila, I hope you do decide to see it thru.  As bad as things are, I don't think they are as bad for you as when you were trying to work full time and weren't on the Procrit (you are now, aren't you, and you have had your hours reduced, haven't you?).  Only 7 weeks - you are almost there, girl.

I too am plumb worn out. Fatiqued all the time and terribly anti-social. Nauseated more than before. I picked up a respirory infection - probably because the ANC is not holding up - but was so sick last week, didn't even go in for the weekly CBC.  I need to start thinking about the 36-week clear study since I was not clear until 20 weeks, but right now that is the last thing I want to do.

I am hoping as the weather breaks out and things get pretty, I will feel more like being alive.  Right now, I would like to sleep thru it.
Kathy

[sailinlady]

Hey girl, we are shot buddies.  I am really starting to think that the last 12 weeks are the worst.  I know you have to consider going on.  Let me tell you, it scares me crazy to stop at 48.  I think, maybe just a few more weeks.  And my hubby is  right there with you, he was not clear until 24 wks.  

Right now we are both brain dead slobs that don't have a clue.  Everything hurts and bed is the only place we want to be.

Positive prayers for SVR to all of us.  We have to remember WHY we are doing this to ourselves.

[jmjm530]

Wow! Can't believe you made it to week 39 already! I remember when you first started treating, wondering how you were going to make it to week 4 -- given your anemia and carrying the mail every day! You've got to be one of the toughest people here.

The decision doesn't have to be 48 weeks or stop now. When I was at week 30, my goal was 42 weeks (using the 36 week past non-detectible formula). When I got to 42 weeks, I set my goal to 48. And when I reached 48 weeks, then I tried for 54 where I finished up. I came very close to stopping several times because of sides, and that would have been OK too.

You can only do what you can do -- there are no right or easy decisions, and once you decide never look back. Guilt? That's something I leave for the rest of my relatives. LOL.  

Briefly, the nausea is suprising so late in treatment. If it's anemia, you should think about Procrit. Are you taking your riba with enough food and fat? Drinking enough water? There are also drugs you can take that might help.

What about a week or two leave from work --  to sleep and maybe sleep some more?  Staying in bed a few days can be very restorative -- physically and mentally. Not to mention allowing your hands to heal. Speaking of which, if cotton gloves don't work, you might visit a sports store and try some thin runners or triathlon gloves.
______________________

Been off tx  10 days now. Started going back to the gym. Put on a few pounds. Beginning to feel (and look) human again. Even stayed out past 8PM the other night LOL -- for the first time in over a year! Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and it's called life after treatment.

Sheila -- you'll be in my prayers tonight.



-- Jim

[dodger1]

Thank you for all your advice.  I have came along way to give up now.  I would have been always wondering what if I would have finished.  I was 1,500,000 vl when I started so I really am not in the position to stop early.  You guys know how it is.  I am just sick and tired of being sick for the last 41 weeks.  I think mentally it is harder because you think back and say I did 41 weeks and it should be gone by now.  I am going to try my best to finish.  Do you believe that someone sent a big tire in the mail for me to deliver?  It weighed 58 pounds and I could not lift it up at all because my muscles are so weak.  I asked if someone else could deliver it for me and my boss said yes.  I think God is watching over me also because if we did not have a mild winter I would not have been able to work.  Thank you all for being so supportive!  I would not have made it this far if it wasn't for you guys.  Sheila

[friole]

So we are shot buddies. I cannot imagine my hubby having to do this with me.  He already has sympathy pains for everythng I have.  He says he is as tired as I am.  I doesn't want to do anything in the evenings.  He is depressed.  THis truly is hard on him.

In fact, I think I have been very selfish throughout this whole treatment because we have kept it a big secret.  WHat it has done, I think, is take away his ability to "bit*h and moan" about me.  He finally told his brother and partner (in trim carpentry) last Monday.  He had to leave work 3 times to take care of me - take me for an xray, take me to the doc, and check on me -during my bout of bronchitis.  I think that was a good release for him to be able to tell somebody and I am sorry I did not allow it sooner.

I am so busy at work right now that I can barely get online.  However after April 15th I will be back with a vengence.  THen you and me and your hubby need to have a good discussion about extending.  It weighs heavy on my mind, but I just can't deal with it right now.  Soooooo I will be lookin' for you in a few weeks.
Kathy

[GoofyDad]

Sorry your having such troubles. AS JIm said you've come a long-long way. One thing you didn't mention was baseline viral load. There's at least one study that indicated shorter tx cycles can be aproorpriet for geno 1's with low viral load, defined (I think) as <800,000 units.

If it comes close to the point of actually stopping early, you might ask us to dig up more info on that to help with your descision.

[Dale_Ray]

Sounds like this creepy stuff is catching up to you. I'm heading for number 19 with 29 left. I miss me too but I want to do all that is possible to clear of this disease. I felt so bad at the 12 week test I think I was hoping to not be a responder so they would not give me a choice and I would have to stop treatment. I just hope you get to feeling better and don't let the blues get you. Here is a happy thought look at all the neighbors who didn't even know each other that have met since you have had brainfog. You're like cupid. My mail lady does that every now and then to just help us get to know each other.  Smile:) Dale

[zoomom]

Wow, such similarities...I worked for the usps 16 yrs!  Anyway, I am not sure quitting now would help, I ended 48 weeks almost 3 months ago and still am unable to work... might as well stick it out.  Wow, my doc NEVER brought up anything about what week I was "clear", so I will have to find all my blood tests and figure it out myself, if I can find them!  I now believe, especially after my doc screwed up my procrit during treatment causing a major relapse in anemia, that my doc doesn't have a clue, or is just too busy to care...I am looking for a clinic now to help me with all the after affects, anyone know of anything in or around the Bay Area, California?  I am willing to go anywhere else at this point, just to have someone in the medical field acknowledge my post treatment symptoms!  With no insurance or job, I have to do something soon.  I don't even qualify for any type of assistance, as I receive a small amount of $$ for my daughter from her father's death...Anyway, if anyone is in Northern Ca would love to hear from you...