How did you discuss HCV with your children/teenagers?

You know, many of us are of the same generation and as follows, many of you, like myself have teenage children or they will be soon. Many of us also contacted HCV through intravenous drug use when we weren't much more than teenagers ourselves. I have always had a zero tolerance drug use policy in my house not
Only in practice but in the way discuss illicit drug use and the way that it destroys people's lives.

One of the scariest moments I have had with my son in our relationship is the day he stood in front of me waiting for me to explain how I got HCV. He was in the 9th grade at the time and had just finished studying HCV and the different ways that you can contact it. The two options that they taught our children was that you got it by (a.) transfusion or (b.) you got it from sharing needles. He knows I've never had a transfusion. As I think I may have mentioned before , I got a tattoo in Hong Kong in 1975 and that , in a moment of terror , became the way I contacted HCV , and that is what I told my son.

I am interested in how some of  you have dealt with or will deal with the same question when it comes up. Its no fun to lie to your children , but is this a time when its OK?

[jmjm530]

A site was posted not that long ago with creative ways to get HCV such as medical and dental procedures, insect bites, etc. We also have a member who claims he's got some HCV infected ants. If it were me, I think I'd go with the ant story.

-- Jim

[jmjm530]

Took first dose Thursday morning. Felt like had the flu Friday morning and bad sore throat. Took second dose Friday morning. Sore throat worse on awakening this morning. This afternoon got pretty spacey and antsy (sorry about the pun Jakish), on edge, anxious and jittery. Given the symptons for a second I had taken some leftover riba by mistake and had a nostalgic moment --  but after double checking it was the Wellbutrin. Took half a Valium and now feel normal except for the sore throat and flu feeling. Think that's it for the Wellbutrin till I huddle with the shrink next week.

-- Jim

[52TELE]

wow. Is it suppose to stay that way? Or does that part eventually wear off and go away?

[sfbaygirl]

Jim, I still think you oughta try that duct tape!

Tele;

My children are grown, but it would still be difficult to tell anyone you got the hvc from drugs. I'm still not sure how I got it, but I might have gotten it snorting back in the day. More likely I got it from an out patient procedure at Kaiser. Two days later I was sick with septis and sick as a dog. They kept me a week and told me I had hep. So of course, I tell people I got it at the hospital, but in reality, I am not sure.

So many people ask me what I have and how I got it. I really have no desire to go into the spiel, very few people don't ask. Of course once they know they don't want to know any of the tx details!

[jmjm530]

I tend to be sensitive to drugs anyway and that may be one reason the peg and riba worked so fast with me -- almost two log drop by week #1. It's possibly that I really have the flu but since I haven't been sick with any kind of cold virus in over a year that seems unlikely but possible. I'm sure the anxiety, jitteriness, etc, would pass but it really was too much, especially on top of the sore throat and flu feeling.

It wasn't like with HCV treatment where I had a huge investment and frankly didn't feel "depressed" but was just looking for something to jump start me back to my old life. Sometimes you gotta be careful what you wish for.  I've also done some research on the drug over the weekend and not sure if my doc picked the right AD given what I am looking for. Never did well with amphetamines anyway, and the feeling was like being on an amphetamine. I might just go an all natural route -- exercise, meditation, TCM etc -- instead, or maybe I'll try an SSRI like Lexipro. Wellbutrin is an SNRI and works differently.

[wonderingwhen]

Tell them the truth. It will ease your mind in the long run. They will find out the truth eventually, might as well come from you. I followed my own advice and things have worked out.

[iceboy]

Jim. Im sure the natural root is the best on the long term. Give it some time. On the hcv treatment you have been altering the brain activity, and it takes time to go back to normal. Im not going to get into the medical discussion (because I don

[SnoWav]

who really knows how you got hep
C I have a idea how and when I got it but I sugar coated my version to the kids maby when they are in their 40s they can have the cold hard version.

[new-sojourn]

Well, I got hep c from a transfusion b/everyone assumed it was from a needle since I'm involved in the music industry.

I've always made a point of telling people how I got hep c.

So, actually, I was able to discuss drug use and the hazards.  I also was able to convince both of my kids never to get pierced, tattooed or use a needle.  Afterall, that's how most people get it.  And they've seen what mis-dx hep c can become.

I find kids respect you more for being honest and listen more because you've been there, done that.

You gotta keep that lie going for the rest of your lives and the kids will find out anyway.

[cao]

I suppose it depends in large part upon the age of the child and/or your relationship with them.  I was infected at birth, so I've not thought about this particular aspect of "the conversation" though I have wondered when/if to tell my children about my experience with HCV overall.  I can imagine, however, that being honest in the case of transmission via drugs might actually provide a useful, cautionary tale.  Opening up in such a real manner may also facilitate real conversations on a variety of sensitive topics between parent and child.  Of course, I can see how it might go badly as well.  Tricky stuff!

[strator]

I had told the rest of my family before my son that I had HCV.  For the 2 years prior that I had known about my dx, because he'd lived through 2 years of me in a state of full blown alcoholism(/addiction(though he just knew about the booz then), I had mentioned only that I had done a lot of damage to my body, especially before he was born and I got sober for 7 years.  had been preparing to get ready for tx, and had planned on telling him before I started so he understood if I changed and seemed different. Then about 6mos prior to tx we were in the car, he had just turned 13, and he asked me why there was a book on liver disease in my room. First I just said that I had kicked the h*** out of my liver back in my wild days. Then I told him that I would be going on some medication that maight make me really tired. Then i said it might give me crazy mood swings. He burst out laughing and said "so you'll be more like me, cool." Over the next few weeks I gave him a little more info piece by piece so he(or I) wouldn't get overwhelmed.Basic stuff..it's called hepatitus (hepatitis) c, there's a lot of ways to get it, that I probably got it in the 70's when i was really doing a lot of stupid crazy stuff, and maybe most importantly for him...that in my case I'm not going on the meds to keep me from dying, I'm going on the meds to help me live better. That it was a very slow, long term disease. I gave that part to him because he'd been through so much. His Mom left when he was 11mos old(still in that lifestyle now), at the age of 6 he was at the dining table with my Mom, his favorite person in the world...he said Dad somethins wrong w/Grandma...she had a stroke and passed away 4 mos later in convalescent hospital, and then I after getting sober when he was 2, a stay at home responsible Dad til he was 7, then suddenly back to the corporate worl and basically went away into the isolation of addiction, dissapearing for hours on end leaving him with Dad wondering if I'd come home. He'd had enough loss to deal with, even though he'd been in counseling  off and on and was pretty resilent.
Anyways, personally at some point I amy tell him that it was probably from my one use of  needle(shared), but details aren't that important right now... I try to stay very open with him, both about how ai feel and about my 12step recovery, but I figure kid's and teens have enough of their own change to deal with...as long as I stay sober and responsible, and I'm there for him, he  pretty much takes me at my word and hangs on. I don't know if this helps, each kid is different and you just have to try and judge how much they can handle, just like the aduls we tell.
Be well,
Don

[beamishboy]

tough job,but i am sure you will handle it with appropriate charm & tact.....how about writing a song ?  GOODLUCK

[texas tornado]

My children are 8 and 12 yrs.  I told them that when I was younger I did some really stupid things to myself and body and that I am now paying for it.  They know that I had a drinking and drug problem.  I was afraid to tell them, especially my 12 yr. old, for fear of judgement or rejection.  After my 1st week of tx, & the sides, my son was like "well, that's what you get for doing what you did"  It hurt my feelings, but I felt they should know that in life we have choices to make and there are consequences, good or bad.

When I was going to AA way back when, my sponsor always brought her son to the meetings.  I questioned it, but she told me that she wasn't going to hide the fact that alcoholism is a disease, etc. He was a great kid and seemed to just except the fact that his mom was ill.  Anyway...

Jim, I take Wellbutrin 300mg/day and have for 4 yrs now.  I never had any reaction to the medication like what you describe.  I'm sorry it didn't work for you like you were hoping.  I also take Prozac.. I have never had any adverse reactions to most drugs, except tx now.  I guess that is part of the reason I am in the situation I am in now.  Good luck, Kim

[bobbyullc]

i told my kids growing up about my days in brooklyn,the gangs  and the dope.
i never felt guilty about it. i am NOT the same person i was then . even then i was not bad only young and unsupervised. i tell my friends also. if a friend rejects me over it good ,i want to be rid of him now. i never knew why people want to be what they are not. i do not need to hide what i was???

i also do not hear "but you do not understand" from them, they know i know from life.

i used CITOLOPRAM and it was the only ad that ever worked. try it you'll like it.

[Mister beagle bailey]

My kids are in their 30's and they know I got it from a tattoo like you did.  I think HCV is geting a bad rap, as there are so many ways to get it.  Just tell them, you will be surprised on how they react.

Beagle

[dancegirl54]

I had to be entirely honest with my kids as I passed HCV to the 2 that ARE teenagers.  All my kids have grown up with a Mom in recovery so they already knew a lot of my history. We got real specific - told them I had tried everything as far as drugs go, they knew I  had "home tattoos". Everything I was doing went along with the lifestyle. They were already pretty well educated but I never would wish this type of education on anyone.  They are dealing with it pretty well, my son, who is further along than my daughter and I, starts tx next month. The youngest who does NOT have HCV says at times that she feels left out. Keep telling her this is a "club" that you dont want to belong to.

BTW what happened to this site? I thought we were limited in the number of threads per day. It's a little overwhelming keeping up, thats why I havent been posting

[jmjm530]

Hi lady, thanks for the encouragement. I only took the valium to counteract the unwanted jittery effects of the Wellbutrin. I'm off both today and hopefully will find something with my name on it sometime in the future.

-- Jim

[ladybug52]

Jim: I always wanted to call u that becuz that's how my brain reads your posts. Sorry about the wellbutrim, are you sure ur doing the right thing giving up those dreams--the GOOD kind? I worked hard to find an antidepressant that worked for me,I hope you find something that will help. No offense but valium doesn't really jump start you, however it's a great drug to calm your nerves. I really think the right med is out there calling your name-good luck.
Tellee: That's how I read your name. I'm glad u brought up the whole discussion with kids thing. I had asked before but didn't get any responses. I have told 3 of my kids and am waiting for the right time to tell number 4. Actually she's #2 in birth order and the closest to my heart in so many ways. I can't bear to burden her with this. She will freak. I wish I had a simple story such as a tattoo or blood transfusion but I don't.  My kids have me on a pedestal, even tho they know I was not perfect. I try to deal with it like I talked about sex, just a little at a time.  There's a great book by Carrie Ten Boom that's called The Hiding Place.  She talks about a good father never giving their child more than they can handle. It's a very spiritual book and I think you would enjoy it. Good luck.
Bug

[Morgaina]

It's always been my girls and I even when I was trying hard at a relationship. They always heard the truth from their mom about everything, if for no other reason, my crazy mom could tell them even worse untruths. Talking about things was never an issue between us, they are pretty much the only people that know the whole truth about me and it will stay that way until the compensation settlements are finalized. I do believe it was the transfusion as through all the tracing I have done ,I cant find one other aquaintance/friend with hepc.We all know that doesn't mean much,and for that matter, doesn't matter much. I could have also got it from wierd and nasty things that happened as a kid, again, doesnt matter how,I had it. (hopeHAD). I know a tatoo artist and he just gave my 25yr.old, 18 yr. old and myself the same tatoo of a triad knot. Three linked into one, body mind and soul, all kind of tight. He was aware of my hepc and took special cautions but liked the idea of what we were doing so did me last and told me every step he took as he took it to keep his tools hep free for future customers.Truth always works best and leaves very little room for future problems, just have to be ready for their opinions, which aren't always easy especially if they're angry about something! Life is good but it seems like it has been very long some days!

[cbee]

My son is 14 and when I decided do treat last year we had a talk.  I'm a single mom and we're very close. My son knew that I had a hard life growing up - foster homes, etc., but I made it perfectly clear to him that I made some bad choices during those times.  Although I was never seriously into drugs I did fool around with them.  So as he watched his mom go through that horrible treatment, injecting herself with the interferon, procrit and neupogin, looking and feeling like death warmed over, etc., I would bet he will think twice about getting into drugs himself.  I think it scared the **** out of him.  

Just my 2 cents . . .

-cbee

[ladybug52]

I knew why u took the valium, I was just kidding.  I have never liked the effects of stimulants, I can't stand that jittery feeling. BUT having said that I have been taking Adderall (adderrall) for the past 10 months to help with ADHD, and more importantly for me-weight loss. My hep dr. admitted antidpressants make u gain weight and I have seen it discussed on a talk show. My brother and I always talk about if it's the medicine slowing down your metabolism (I doubt it) or the fact that you are so happy you just feel like eating or if you are overeating and know it but the ad's make u less sensitive about gaining weight. We used to worry about everything till we started ad's. Again, I hope you find something to get you back to doing the things you enjoy. And BTW, Adderall (adderrall) doesn't make me "jumpy" but I did have to take it a few days to get used to it. At first it made me spacey, or more spacey than usual.

[worrywartwife]

We recently explained to our daughters (24 and 27)that their Dad has HCV, and has had this (unknown until recently)since 1974. They were, of course, worried and upset. As we talked, I discovered one of their first big fears was that they also had this virus. I had not expected that! We reassured them that as I am negative, it would be very,very unlikely they were infected, but that we would have them tested immediately if they wished. The girls said they were ashamed one of their first thoughts was for their own health, but we were so glad they felt they could share this fear. When you tell your children about your infection, you might be prepared to address this issue, as your children, like ours, may be hesitant to bring this up. Best Wishes, JoAnn