Husband said he's dumping me! Questions about insurance.

[worrywortmom]

Husband said last night he has had it with me and that this is it! Now that he know's that he's hep-c free. I've been having a hard time talking to him about the diease and when he found out I got on janis7hepc.com and chatted he was furious. If he leaves does his insurance have to cover me while being sick? Or will I be dropped, hope there is someone out there that has the same problem! Fresno calif.

[vegas777]

Men are a necessary evil...we need them for so many things, taking trash out, scratching our backs, fix broken appliances, keep our beds warm, etc etc....oh wait a minute!!!  Duh!!! we can do all that ourselves can't we!!!  But shhhhhhhhh don't tell the men, they need to "think" they are the best....

*dipster*

[cquest]

Yeah Beth, I need him to take the garbage to the dump...can't fit the cans in my Bug...darn!

Worry, I stopped tx after 5 days first because when I took the shot, 6 hrs later, my fingers went numb and my heart jumped around and I sorta freaked...then it went away but since that was a Friday, it took till Wed for them to say stop the meds till they figured out about my heart...which is 'perfect' supposedly...but my grandfather dropped dead at 59 of a heart attack and the cholesterol thing....then rash was too much for me...plus my liver damage is pretty non existant so I decided to wait...no sense torturing myself for no reason...yet anyway...I may change my mind tomorrow! I'm funny like that...change my mind constantly...
Cin

[worrywortmom]

sounds like something is diffenetly going on for you and im sorry,but in my case my husband is very heavy and and chlorestol is in the 400 if he found someone that sparked his fancy he would probably have a heart attack lmao. he is such a jerk it would probably be a blessing, new girl/ heart attack lol. Im really not that mean but i have to think of me if he isnt. hope i made you laugh. worry

[cquest]

Unfortunately, I have had the experience of finding out too late what the snake was up to..I had to tune my antenae to the little clues that I ignored in the first place and catch the sob...in fact, the first time I caught his a** I called the bit** and said 'Ok, I got his story so what's yours? And believe me, I know more than you think I do!' HA! I knew NOTHING but she told me EVERYTHING! Stupid stupid stupid! Then I went to him with the same line...he told me everything too! Dim bulbs, both of em...but now I am smarter and who knows maybe he is too?

But here is another strange incident: I came home from work the other day to find a brownie in a baggie on the microwave...I figured he got it at work, it was definately a store bought brownie from a bakery...so I ate half...the other half sat there all week...last night I had the other half and said 'Where did this come from?' and he went OFF! Said "I don't know, why are you asking me? What are you accusing me of now?' yada yada...screaming at the top of his lungs! Then I also found a steak bone, the little round kind, the dogs were chewing on...I have not cooked a steak lately, where did that come from? I asked him about that too and again with the screaming! Now girls, you tell me...why would somebody go crazy for no reason? Who brought the brownie and the steakbone into the house when there are only two of us here? Something is rotten here that's for sure! Then in the past, I have found little candy wrappers on the sidewalk outside the house (we live in the country, no public traffic at all), DumDum wrappers, lolipop stick, a vitamin C hard candy, other candy wrappers...where did those come from? The wind?  
Cin

[worrywortmom]

did the high chlorestol stop your treatment in any way?

[cquest]

Would serve him right then...boy that is some high cholesterol! I thought mine was high at 270!
Cin

[suzieq2]

If he is already like this and you haven't even started treatment yet. WOW now is the time girl.I have seen to many women procrastinate in the name of love and saving a marriage, that wind up left in the cold.Keep eyes open, mouth shut, and be the smart one and keep one leg up. Go to an attorney today so they can stop him from canceling your insurance, hiding assets ect.Just because you file does not mean there will be a divorce.Protect and take care of your own interest. Continue to let him think that he is in control. Surprize is best defence.Something is rotten in Denmark.I had a controlling xhusband who thought I was a stupid good girl.BOY did he find out different.

[worrywortmom]

i dont have children from him, and his insurance doesnt have open enrollment. when we got married he just added me. I dont know what he's thinking but I ahave a feeling he's pulling a power trip on me. Like he has me by the *****. And wants me to be a good little girl or else. Im not one to back down. He also makes alot of money and will have to pay alamony. With my circumstances my guess he will have to pay alot.

[cuteus]

worry; you do not have to disclose your hcv status or your intent to tx to the insurance co.  you can just ask a general question about coverage after divorce, period.  You don't have to go into details. You will obviously be covered while still married, unless he pulls a fast one and stops the premium payment or takes your name out.  So you only need to know what can happen after divorce, as a general concern for you and the children.

cin: hum! good point, men that are quick to bail out, are sometimes having extracurricular activities, even if the deny it through their teeth>

[suzieq2]

When he say's ugly things, Just respond "Pea Soup" He won't have a clue.

[suzieq2]

I am so sorry your husband is so sorry.You have him by the ****'s right now, which obviously, his are the size of a pea.If you are not going to have his support on this treatment, you are better off being by yourself. Stress does reduce treatment success.This disease separates the men from the boys.I am not an advocate of divorce, but I see red flags of something else going on behind the scene.Make sure you have a good attorney that will make sure that you and your children will be cared for finacially. You are right. A Judge will squeeze those peas.I would not reccomend contacting your insurance company at this time. They are in the business of collecting premiums, not paying claims.If they can find a way out of paying alot of money for your treatment, most will take it.I don't think you have much to worry about in the financial aspect with a good attorney.Better to find out now what kind of honor this man is made of, before you become an old lady, and but in a home somewhere.To many precious wasted years.

[2irish]

i am sooo sorry you hae to deal with this.  treatment seems to bring out the best & worst in spouses.  I had a similar situation just before i started treatment.  you need to be strong for YOURSELF.  you can do this...i do agree with strator, though, about not running to the insurance co.  i don't have the feeling they are the most understanding.  how about an attorney.  he can't just pull your insurance...are you in a 50/50 state?  i think you are in CA, right?  You have your rights.  don't let him rattle you, take care of yourself.  he is probably scared, too.

[cquest]

So sorry to hear you have such troubles! He probably just needed this as an excuse and has been drifting away for a while now...is there another woman? That's my first impression...for him to bail so quickly there has to be another motive...if not then you are better off you found out now than wasting more of your precious life on this A-hole!

Also, not to worry you any more but technicaly he can take you off his insurance if he wants to with or without a divorce...all he has to do is not put you on during the open enrollment period which is probably right around now...I doubt he would be such a creep but then again...The only thing that would force him to insure you would be a divorce decree...Like everyone said above, call the insurance company ASAP!
Cin

[Healed24]

Wow what a jerk (I don't curse but if there was anytime for me to start, it would be explaining what type of person your husband is for doing this to you while you obviously need as much support as possible). Unfortunately I didn't know the answer to your question, but I looked up some info on the internet and all I found is that you are eligible for COBRA for at least 36 months. It will probably be expensive, but at least you'll get to retain your med coverage. If you're interested check out this site:

http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/PDF/n-98-12.pdf

I'm kinda young (compared to most here), and I don't have kids or a husband, but if you ever need someone to talk to let me know and I'll get a way to get you my information and you can talk to me when ever you need to. Remember your husband might not be behind you, but all of us at MEDHELP are here, and we are as good as it gets.

Brooke
GOD BLESS

[strator]

Wow I am so sorry about your situation. No matter what the reasons it can be very stressful. One thing has come to mind though about insurance. I don't know your situation or how good the insurance is.. but I would probably look into some legal or women's advocate advice before approaching the insurance company. Personally I'd be a little afraid of some jerk there  saying-hey if we don't help her we save the cost of treatment. You may be able to get some prior advice(even on the web) that might give you the tools you need to approach the insurance co to the best of your advantage. I know when my ex and I finally filed for divorce 9 years after she left and I raised our child they were still adamant that even though I refused support that she cover our child whenever she was employed with insurance. It's a shame more people don't think past their nose. After someone advised me to look at the whole picture and scr## my emotions when she left...one of the reasons we didn't file for so long was so she could still be on my plan and vice a versa. I'll admit I did it more so my son had a healthy mother but it gave me peace of mind, maybe explaining that tack will work with your situation.
Keep a good thought, hang in, there's a lot of people here for you.
Don

[painintheside]

You are a blessing to me too! I teared up seeing that your husband sprang this on you. Call me again, anytime! I would think that his insurance would defentantly cover you until divorce but maybe beyond that for some time too but you may need to pay premeuims. But don't forget, there is free meds out there available.

Don't lose your strenght and your hope!

Love you lots,
Dana

[Forseegood]

Oddly enough, I was on the live chat on Janis that night you were on, do you remember me? I hope youre doing better today, you have gotten some good advice here. Thankfully, California is a state where both parties get half the assets.

[Forseegood]

The one great thing about guys (and gals) like this is that they are a perfect lesson in what to look out for in your next pairing, what you don't want in a person. There are tons of very self centered people out there, we don't need them in our orbit, let alone in our residences. They are like little signposts in a way, showing us the way out of unfulfilling relationships and into new good ones with ourselves and possibly with someone else really nice some day.

I had a relationship like this (if I wanted to be honest I'd say that I had more than one, he he he,) and once I was out of it, I counted all the little red flags he gave me early on, all those red little flags I chose to ignore cause he was so darn charming, intelligent and good looking! Sheesh! It might look bleak and feel awful right now, but I gaurantee you one day soon you'll feel so good about yourself in ridding yourself of this relationship - you'll feel like you've woken up from a long sleep...you'll feel great. Hold on to that! It'll be much better!

[LvdByGod!]

ask your hubby for a separation instead for a year first...to see if things can be worked out or counciling etc...then you will also still be covered by his insurance...perhaps what caused you two to get married in the first place is worth the year of working on it...???

if he cops out in the middle of the separation...drug companies also have arrangements they can do to help those who need to continue their treatments when finantial problems arise..

i pray all will work out for you...its so sad that he would be so nasty at this most important, sensitive time for you...do you think there is a chance he could come to his senses? i pray so...

sandi

[NYgirl]

Wow what a BUM DEAL!  My heart just breaks for you to have to deal with all of this but you know what...maybe in the long run you'll be better off.  Doesn't make it easier NOW but...

We are here if you need us!

[worrywortmom]

He doesnt realize that I need the support of people who are going through what I am. That everyone here can answer questions that I dont have a clue about. I wont stop comming to this forum of stop chatting with hep-c people. Last night a very special person gave me her telephone number and I talked to her for hours. I was a blessing. She answered alot of my questions. And if it means getting a divorce or stop talking to people that can help ease my mind then so be it.

[worrywortmom]

Yes he is a jerk, he found out that his cholerterol is high and more worried about that then me. I realized that when he wanted to go get him fish and when I asked to get me some water he said no! He wasn't stopping anywhere. Thanks for the advice. I will contact the insurance company to find out what my options are. Just cant believe that he's pulling this now. He said that he would be my support system but I cant see that happening. I would hate to be him infront of a judge now.

[GoofyDad]

I think you will find that you will have access to coverage under cobra - even post divorce - should that come to pass. It is not cheap - but it's better than the alternative. Financial arrangements would be negotiated as part of the divorce agreement.

The fact that he is a jerk won't have much bearing one way or another with a judge. It's just a question of equitably dividing the asset and revenue pies. His moral fortitude could play on custody issues - but little else I think.

These are just my gut impressions.

Good luck.  

[texasgal]

Well, another jerk rears his ugly head!  I went through the same thing when I found out I had Hep C and that was over a year ago.  Hang in there and know you can count on us at this site.  This is a very lonely disease, but you can get through it.  I couldn't have done it without this board.

Linda