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Husband's mood swings post-treatment
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Husband's mood swings post-treatment

My husband seems to be experiencing mood swings 4 months post treatment. Is this common? As his wife, I am finding it difficult to live with him and am on the verge of leaving. Finally, through the treatment and now seems just as bad as before. Thanks. Karen
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23 Comments Post a Comment
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96938_tn?1189803458
Did he clear the virus and have a pcr since treatment ended?
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Avatar_n_tn
He won't be checked until middle of October. Just had a knee replacement which does not help things. I'm really bummed out. Have two young children and it is very hard to be a good Mom. We cannot get through a day without arguing. I just want to leave! Karen
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96938_tn?1189803458
Assume for a moement that he never had hcv, never required treatment, and does not now have hcv.  What would you do?  By the way, who had the kneee replaced you or him?
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Avatar_n_tn
ummm I am sorry to hear you dealing with that.  I am always having mood swings and my fiance and children hate me at times...but i even hate myself at times when I get like that so I cant blame them!!!! They want to leave me too LOL!!!!   Why dont you try to get him to go to the psych to get on some medication that would help stop the mood swings????  Other then that I dont know what to tell you because I am still treating and I hope they go away once I am finished
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Avatar_n_tn
Being the one on the other end, you being the affected one, I can understand why you could attack me thinking that I would bail out when things got tough. Believe me, we have had many tough times and I have been very strong, taking care of all household, two children age 6 and 3, being loving and supportive. I am 51 with these two small children, homeschool, work at nights from home so that he can take it easy going through all his health issues. I am really worn down. I am just about crying writing this.I really do think I am entitled to have a bit of an emotional laxity. Granted, I am not the one dealing with this Hep C. Nothing is worse than that! I guess it is just very hard to realize that 4 months after tx he would still behave the same way as he did on tx at times. My Mom was a dedicated wife to a paraplegic husband and I am sure she felt the same way I do at times-because that wasn't easy either. Well, I am still here and probably will always be. I am just very, very sad that I don't have the same guy.
It helps to talk to others that have Hep C so that I can understand it. I feel alone with this burden and I do have a burden also.
It does really, really help to talk to others, especially from your point of view. Thankyou for your comments. Karen
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119874_tn?1189759429
I finished TX 15 weeks ago.  I don't feel the same but I do feel much more in control of my emotions now.

There's no way anyone would excuse me if I were a constant jerk toward my kids right now.  And I don't think the TX can be an excuse for your husband to make your life miserable.

One thing I learned from this TX is that I am strong and I am a adult with responsibilities for those I love.

If your husband was a good enough guy before TX, you oughta give him a chance and some support to get some expert help (from a doctor or therapist or minishter or whatever).  Only you know what he was like before.

Maybe get yourself some help too--with sorting out emotions and reality.  Then you can be in a better place to make a decision about your relationship.  It's important for your kids to have a happy mom and dad if they can.  The question is how best to get both of you happy.

This is hard and I wish you the best.  Algie.
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Avatar_n_tn
He has the knee replacement. Gosh, wouldn't that be something if we both were on the outs! Yeah, he had something prescribed but he may be off it for awhile for his surgery. He doesnt' think he needs it.
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119874_tn?1189759429
I completely respect you but we don't really know all the facts and some marriages are worse than no marriage at all.

I don't think any of us will tell wifeof to stay no matter what or to leave tonight.  Sometimes the people who support us heppers are the ones who need a little support.

Some folks would kill each other if they had to wait until "death do us part."

XO to you.  For real.  Algie.

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Avatar_n_tn
I wasnt attacking you...please forgive me if it sounded that way.  In fact, I was just kind of relieved to hear that someone else is having as severe of mood swings as I am to the point that it was breaking up the family.  Sometimes I feel like a real psycho.  My point is that you are not the only one that has to deal w/ the mood swings I am putting my family through the same thing and I dont mean it.  I am just trying to tell you to try to stick it out for a little longer b/c at times we cant control them.  I still am wondering if he is on medication?   I think if he isnt that he should get on some soon because it might help.  Anyway I found something on the internet today that seem to come right out of my mouth...another person w/ hep c wrote this and it is so true....You said you wondered how we felt and this is how I feel written by someone else:::

Most people with Hepatitis C have no obvious symptoms. Other people don't think you're sick, because you don't look sick. Since you don't look sick, they don't understand why you can't go out and play like the other 50 year-olds. They can't tell when your blood sugar is too high, they can't see hypertension, they can't see your arthritic pain, and they can't feel your fatigue. So they get pissed when you can't keep up with their normal lifestyle, and it sucks having to remind them all the time that you've got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. That all changes when you start taking the medication. The medication makes you look sick. Then, they want to stay away from you because they're sure whatever you've got is catching. If they **** you off, they feel the fury of ribavirin coursing through the more primitive parts of your brain. Anyway you look at it, you're alone with HCV, and that's the toughest part.  http://www.mkandrew.com/Blog1.htm
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Avatar_f_tn
Wife,,,Sounds like your husband has had his fair share of problems and with the stress of finishing up and praying for SVR with an operation on top of that,,,,I can see where he may be high strung.  Maybe you could call the dr and explain and get him some anti depressants for the time being until this period pasts.  As hard as it is,,,,he does need your support and with your schedule and the kids,,,also I can see where you are at wits end.  Maybe a AD for you also wouldn't be a bad idea and if you  can get the kids out on your days off to enjoy,,,maybe this will pass soon.  Once he gets his SVR,,,I'm sure that will be a great relief and the meds are still in his system and this takes awhile.  Alot of people think the minute that you take your last shot and last ribas,,,,then its over and this is not the case!  Good Luck!
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151263_tn?1243377877
Does your hubby know he is having these mood swings? Does he acknowledge and apologize for his behavior after he cools down? If so maybe he'll be receptive to taking some anti-anxiety drugs or anti-depressants to help get him (and you) through this. He may be very dark and depressed inside, and like most men, does not know (or is willing) to communicate to you how he feels...which only leaves outbursts of rage when it gets to be too much. I know it must be tough, but believe me it could be worse. You could be on inteferon and riba, and if you were you'd undoubtably have a better perspective for what's causing the anger.
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96938_tn?1189803458
I would be less inclined to give an adult with a wife and two small children a pass to be a troll.  Whether he just got through tx, a knee replacement or testiclotomy he does not have an excuse to be a jerk.  If's psychological or organic it should be addressed.  It should not be tolerated just because life's a bicth.  Mr. Wife needs to pull his head out his butt and step up to his responsibilities. Wifey here has some reasonable expectations to life, liberty and the pursiut of happiness.
Wife, either you, or someone he listens to, needs to get in his grill and tell him in no uncertain terms to remove the cranium from the dark place that it's in.  You should not have to live like that.
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Avatar_n_tn
Jeez Way, what a crappy time for your relates to become self-serving. How could they not understand if they've been with you through it all. Some people just cant get past their own needs (or is it wants, are there financial problems?) Sorry about all the questions. How will you support yourself now, are you working full time? My heart would be broken, I really feel for you. Come live at my house, although you may starve with the cooking that happens here. You like veggies?

Wife...if you cant talk there will be no resolution or improvement. He is a part of the problem and needs to be a part of the solution as well. Professional help may be too costly but there must be someone out there if you two cant be open without being hurtful. I'm only dating a guy and I mostly preferred to be alone during treatment. I know the crazies well that come with the treatment package. But recovering your good side is part of recovering! With or withouy help. If he is making efforts, nothing is better than having someone behind him!! If he will not, it leaves you feeling very alone.
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Avatar_n_tn
When I came here to live, it was a self imposed rehab. They were supportive to a degree but then expectations were unreasonable. I have always felt fatigue and been lethargic, since getting off drugs my energy has never returned, which forced me to go get the DX.

I had a good income as a table games dealer in Vegas, but here work a job in housekeeping. Talk about humility. I got a job after I was here a month. Didn't want anyone to think I was a slease.

I use to give my brother 1/2 of income when working full time. about $600/mo.   Our hours got cut, now I give hime $400-which is 2/3. Him and wife work full time so money is not an issue and I feel I am being indentured. I didn't mind cooking a few meal/wk, vaccuuming and doing some laundry at first but now they expect it as part of my agreement to stay.

Some freinds are taking me in and my expenses will be much lower. My brother thought I didn't have any options, and that could be one reason. I just a year ago took care of him when he was almost killed in a car accident.

What comes around goes around? Not for me but I'll survive. Thanks for your concern.

I never agreed to be responsible for 1/3 of all HIS expenses.
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148588_tn?1396462308
wifeof says, "...he had something prescribed
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148588_tn?1396462308
but he may be off it for a while..."
If he is detoxing from a reuptake inhibitor, this may be a huge factor. Watching a couple different people decide to cold turkey Paxil played a part in my decision not to take anti-depressants on tx.
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Avatar_n_tn
Flguy, I agree with you.

I understand TX can be hard, I'm in My 16th week. I have NEVER had Riba rage,(maybe just lucky?) and if I did I would NEVER be a jerk to those I live with and expect them to put up with it because of going through tx.

I live with family and recently was just accused of being lazy and playing for sympathy with my SX. I normally cook do laundry and clean for family(brother and sis-in-law). I do this because of not being able to pay my 1/3 expenses. (I work part time and pay $400/mo and they say 1/3 is $880)I was told to get in there and cook or get out... I am moving out this weekend because of this.

Wifeof-
My opinion is sometime (vows or not) you must take a stand to make it clear what you will or won't tolerate. There are two sides to every story, and since (I realise this is not a board for marital problems)you didn't mention any specific bad  behavior, I can't say you should throw in the towel or continue to be supportive. I only know a person can only take so much, and that's why I'M choosing to leave in the middle of TX.
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Avatar_m_tn
Such hard challenges for you both, sorry you are facing them. Having a knee replacement right after tx sounds like a nighmare. My guess would be he is suffering from lingering depression either caused by tx or hcv or both and on top of that having his knee replaced. All of those things are depressing! You probably are having some depressive issues yourself having to deal with all the stress of these health issues plus having little kids at your age ( I am 51 too). I suggest you two get some good counselling to help you cope with these big burdens that are straining your marriage. It could be some medications are in order at least for awhile until things level out. Being sick and being a caretaker are both difficult "jobs" If he is willing to do some counselling that would be ideal but if not you can go yourself and that might help you. Good luck, remember this too shall pass.

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Avatar_n_tn
I thought my family understood what I was undertaking in TX'ing.
I explained and gave them the paperwork that was given to me for family. But even I did not and had no way of knowing what Tx would be like.
My first shot kicked me to the curb but since then the only real bad SX I've had was an outbreak of a rash that lasted for about 3 wks. Fatigue is an issue but how can someone else tell you have it?
I have tried not to complain mainly because I know it can and does get so much worse for some, so I've just tried to do as much as I can around the house because at some point I may really not be able to do anything at all. I've had occaisional headaches and some nausea but you know you tend to look sick with that.With fatigue and muscle weakness --not so much. I guess it would be a bit confusing--as I am able to watch TV and joke around but am physically unable to be their maid. Overall my Sx have been mild and I haven't complained much so I guess they think I'm faking it.

It's a shame because now I feel my integrity,has been questioned and now I'm leaving. I wouldn't stay if he apologised and begged.
Yes I have a place to go, and until I finnish Tx I will just be taking the essentials and move out later.

I just can't wait until they are forced to take care of them selves. It IS a lot of work to run a household and I'm sure it was easier for them to expect me to do it.

I have an ex-husband that wants to buy me a house, and at some point down the road I would love to let him do that for me but NOW-I couldn't imagine looking for property.
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Avatar_n_tn
Thank you for your kind words and affirmation. It means a lot to me.
I will still be around here and posting as often.

They have agreed to let me keep my key and come and go to get things that I need and move out after TX when my energy returns. They are keeping my cell on (family plan) and car insurance. Of course I pay for this but they could have shut it off.

I am bitter, and I let him know that our relationship is irrepairably damaged.

I sent him the link with Steven Tylers statement, that Tx almost killed him.
Thanks again for your compassion.
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Avatar_n_tn
My husband is on his third treatment.  I give him his daily shots of Infergen, keep up on HepC news,  run interference to keep our lives somewhat peaceful, rub his aches,  and let him know he is my hero.  I told him that if he would do the treatment, we could just hunker down for a year and do what it takes.  He is doing his part; taking shots that feel like he is shooting up with Draino, swallowing all the pills and having the surprise of new side effects on a daily basis.  Although he is at 191,000 at 8 months, he is going to keep going.  I can
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