Do not worry dear,
things are not always on our side , by this action he broke your heart. But keep on the treatment and you will be fine with or without him . God helps you. Hope you all the best
So glad things worked out. If I would have responsed to the original post, my take on it would have been a little more forgiving. Not everyone can deal with illness and/or disaster the same way. I don't think anyone should hold that against them. I would have forgiven him and locked the door behind him.
Very glad you two are back together.
Good update. So funny responding to a year old post.
Thanks for updating us. I'm glad to hear things are going better. Best of luck on that PCR. Be sure to let us know when you get the results.
jd
hey shelly,
glad to hear everything worked out.
as for the arthrirtis, many people have the joint pain during and post tx. including me. i hope it gets better as time goes by.
good luck on your 6 month test..
I really dont come to this Web Site much anymore even though it was a great support. I went in for my 6 months blood test last tuesday no results yet. So I was compelled to check in here and saw my old post. Yes, he did come back a month later we did a lot of talking before I let him come back. He said he would rather be with me sick then with out me. And he had been staying with his bother and one of his sisters. My husband said he really did have a good life. April was our 20th anaversity and we are still together.It is better now we still have our little arguments but who dont. By the way the treatment left me with arthritis has that happened to anyone else? Thank you all Shelly
I think it Mudders who we are responding to this time around.
true this thread is a year old and has been brought back to life. true that it stinks when a loved one leaves, especially when you need them the most. but maybe it was unbearable for the spouse. there are always 2 sides to the story. these drugs can make you do and say some awful things. i'm lucky my wife didn't leave me when i was tx'ing, i flipped more then once and couldn't beleive what I said.
i'm not saying it was right or wrong for the husband to leave but maybe there was more to it and tx was the straw that broke the camels back.
No matter when this thread began, apparently it struck a cord with someone enough to compel him or her to respond to it recently and thereby open up interest again. Perhaps that's an indication of how important the subject is to those of us who live with and/or fight HCV and all of its nastiness.
I hope RALPH44, the original poster, found hope and help and support.
hey on my side of the story, i have this friggin disease, i hate it but i gotta live with it, i have one of the most understanding guys i could ever imagine, he listens and craddles me when iam depressed and he loves me so much, he has gone so far to cry and tell me what i mean to him,, We have only been married 5 yrs and apparently i had this disease before we got togather but i had no idea,, The doctor called me in ofc and suuggest i take the test, so i did and the hardest thing for me was to tell my husband and fear of him leaving me, he is still by my side today and he meant the vows of life thru sickness and health and all the other stuff.. i could never imagine haveing someone so self centered on themselves not caring and be loving to the one on tx, yes its hard, but for me i couldnt have made it without my hubby by my side even though i relapsed, he is my soul mate and he took care of me and cook and brought it to my bedside and all the stuff... iam just suggesting if a person really loves u he or she will understand and get guidance to help them thru this dificult time...
Ralph44 started this thread nearly a year ago.
Bill
Wanted to throw in my support. Some people just stink. Who knows why. YOU DON'T! Remember that. My wife had issues and left as well. They are HER issues, not mine. I didn't cause them and I can't fix them. All I can do is try to continue to be a good person, not take home thorns when I can have flowers and ask for guidance from God. You too!
From Texas
Joey
Take care of yourself, you can still forgive the idiot, but take care of yourself. See yourself as your own best friend and what would you tell that best friend to do.
You need to hang with people that care about you as much as you care about them and have the strength to see you through the tough times.
I always give them enough rope to hang themselves and they do, so I'm not ever gonna be in a relationship again, cuz I cant pick em. But I have been able to surround myself with loving ppl. Please take care of yourself.
M4now
It has been almost a year since this thread was started. Did he ever come back? Well I hope it all worked out for you.
I tend to agree with Texas714. Probably because I'm a Texas woman. That doesn't mean I, personally, agree with taking him back. I wouldn't but...
Do what is best for YOU.
my bedroom has an office for my hubby to go when he needs quite time.we have 4 kids and the youngest got diabetes 1 week before tx started.It just seems i can't do anything right and then he tells me i make him feel bad for me being sad about things sometimes.I do everything i can for him he also has diabetws.this is the first place that has a lot of info.I just have no family or friends close by and i needed someone to talk about this.He says 16 yrs of this **** is enough so i don't know how things will end up....thnx for listening
C'mon, you guys...Humans are imperfect. Maybe the guy has his limitations, and just doesn't know how to ask for a "time-out". We arent all enlightened beings, brimming with compassion and understanding. Definitely take care of yourself and finish treatment though, and then address this issue.This **** is rough on everyone.
I just joined this today and i want to say thank you.I am the spouse.My hubby has it and i am about to leave him.I say this not because i don't love him but the meds make it darn near impossible sometimes to help.It seems everything i say or do is wrong and i can do it anymore i am sitting here crying as i write this.i am a grumpy person but my hubby got mad at me last night for being quite.any advice plz
Give it time. Work on yourself right now. Keep coming to this forum.
This has turned out to be a very interesting thread in that there have been so many different opinions on what you should do.
Its difficult enough to go through treatment without having problems with your partner. My ex-husband and I split up before I started treatment, thank god. I can't imagine trying to go through this with him around. On the other hand, it can't be easy for anyone living with someone treating and I can see where a partner could feel the need to get away to work things out. A separation until you have completed your last 15 weeks might benefit both of you. Just make sure you complete your treatment, don't whatever you do cut it short.
Don't make any rash decisions. Wait until your treatment is over and both you and your husband are thinking with clearer heads.
If you do decide to give it another go, you'll end up going back into the relationship that much wiser. You'll have a better understanding of what you really need, and what things you just can't tolerate. Check out your local ALANON group. They'll help you decide what's best for you.
Wishing you strength,
k
Things will get better. Once you get SVR and still have the money from your inheritance - take it and do something good for yourself. Oh he'll be back telling you all sorts of sweet things but dont' fall for it - sometimes the worst things that happen to us end up being the best.
I bet in a few years when you are happy and in love with someone who treats you like the princess you should be treated like - you'll say wow, those internet people were so BRILLIANT!!!!!!!! ;)
Seriously though - you are better off without him. Let someone else clean up after his third DWI...he sounds like a weezle and he'll find someone.
Just don't let it be you. You deserve BETTER.
thank you for your thoughts and support, my girl friend stayed with me this weekend, had to go to my dentist today i was to get a crown had to tell him just to do the filling could afford the crown. He was so sweet said I could pay alittle at a time he would do the crown anyway.
When I read your post about your " husband" and I use that term loosely....that he was leaving you if you didn't quit your last 15 weeks of treatment I was in disbeliel !!!! I was diagnosed in 2002 with HepC on a fluke I was scheduled for a total knee replacement I went to a blood center to have my own blood reserved for surgery.
I was later informed I had Hep C !!!! I was in total shock to say the least. I had my knee replaced went through 1 1/2 years of rehabilation, then went through 1 year of the interferon combo treatment, that's 1 shot a week and 6 horse pills a day.
My Husband of 35 years stood by me every step of the way !!!!! he fed me when I couldn't feed myself, he bathed me when I couldn't do it myself.
That's what those wedding vows meant !!!! thru sickness and thru health !!!!! You should not even hesitate about kicking your husband Out, Out, Out !!!!!!!
Love doesn't Hurt...... honey he is showing you with every fiber of his being what kind of man he is. When people show you who they ARE BELIEVE THEM !!!!!!!!! Go on and finish your treatment, start your life anew, cancel his insurance and don't look back. Find you a man that will love you I mean Really love you, in sickness and in health.
My husband is the one going through tx. It's difficult. When we're in the waiting room and listening to others -- many have spouses that left them after 20+ years because they couldn't take it. I could never understand that. It seemed so awful to leave someone when they are so sick. The tx is brutal.
It is hard when they don't want you to talk to them, to keep the lights off, to stop checking on them, when they don't want to eat. When you want them to eat, to do something, to get out of bed, to not be winded when they walk such a very short distance. It's me watching for signs of something worse happening, and him telling me he's okay. He isn't. I know when he's crashing, and if he is I insist we're going to his doctor. Then he gets transfusions.
But, the point here is this -- in the waiting room people tell me that they know it's affecting me as well. It is. I'm scared he's not going to make it. I'm scared that this isn't going to be successful -- he can't tolerate the Ribavirin. Are they going to quit the tx? I don't know the answers to this stuff. Not knowing and worrying is stressful -- for everyone. Income is less because of this illness. But that's nothing compared to the loneliness of having a spouse going through tx, and the worry.
One day I was driving back from the airport, I dropped my mother off who had been staying with us to help out. When I got to my exit, I literally had to talk myself into taking it and not running away. I wanted to run away so badly, and I had no idea I felt that way. I felt so guilty, and at that moment I understood why people left the ones they loved. I took the exit, and I cried all the way home (it's an hour drive). I cried for 2 more days before I called my doctor and asked for anti-depressants, because I need help dealing with the reality of this. It's hard. I can't change this bad stuff, and I love my husband. I hate seeing him like this, and it's not easy to live with him. He mostly wants to be left alone, and then sometimes he feels like he's lonely and I ignore him. There's a lot of no-win situations. I know he feels bad. I know when he's grumpy with me it's because he feels so bad.
Sometimes I hover over/around him. Sometimes I beg him to take a shower/bath, or to change his clothes, or I try to change his bedding while he's up. I listen to him trying to be 'one with the universe' in an effort to not feel so much pain.
I think it's awful to leave someone when they're in the midst of this treatment. I can't imagine abandoning him while he's going through this, and I think we found out about it too late. I think he's not going to beat this. I'm really scared.
Maybe talking about this and anti-depressants can help you two? If they can't, then in the long run, you're better off without him. Don't let him take everything else from you too. I don't know who you have to lean on.. but you need someone.
This disease is insidious and the treatment is brutal.
I wish you the best!
P.S. I'm new here.