Need some advice...

Ok, So i've been with the same guy for a few years he knows I have hep c and understands. (he is negative for it btw) But currently we have drifted apart not really together any more, and I'm kind of falling for someone else. and this guy he's super health orientated  (he's a kick boxer) and he really really really likes,cares for me, the feeling is mutual. I know it's unlikely to transmit through sex, we use condoms anyways, but still I feel like I should tell him...should I wait? wait until it gets more serious..? I don't know what to do and I don't like keeping secrets but like everyone says theirs a huge stigma out about hep c and I'm scared about how he'll react...

[nygirl7]

My OPINION is to tell the truth as he might feel later if it all is working out that you lied by omission.  Impossible for anybody here to really say though because we don't know him and while it is very very unlikely to pass it via sex remember to continue to practice safeR sex practices - just to be safe.

[jmjm530]

I think as long as you've been using condoms then a reasonable decision is to wait until things get more serious before you tell him. Condom use means virtually no chance of transmission. Fact is there is a stigma attached to HCV and some of us therefore prefer only to tell those that need to know. Should things get more serious, or should you move in together, then the discussion becomes more appropriate. Meanwhile make sure to keep personal items separate such as toothbrushes, razors, hair brushes, nail clippers, etc. What I used to do in a similar circumstance was to keep a new, unused toothbrush in the bathroom and the toothbrush I used daily in a bedroom drawer. Same with disposable razors. That way there was no chance that someone accidentally would use them.

-- Jim

[oneatenuff]

If you're scared how he will react now or later, tell him now and get it over with.  Yes there's stigma, but that doesn't mean everyone will run from you.  Depending on the person, they might run a lot faster when (if) you decide to open up about something you've been hiding  (and that might take another month, could take two, it might not ever happen.)  If you don't tell him now and wait until later - after taking other precautions - it will probably register with them that you didn't tell them due to fear of something.  

Face and deal with this fear now.  He's a kick boxer - I bet he will appreciate and admire that quality in you  (to face and deal with your fears.)  And if he doesn't, his loss. Your win.

My take.

Good luck

[GSDgirl]

I have to agree with oneatenuff.  I would tell him, if it is going to be a problem it is better now than later.  Plus the x BF might just blab anyway.

Denise

[jmjm530]

Just to play devil's advocate here, why do you feel it necessary to disclose if for no medical reason? Isn't that in a sense feeding into the stigma concept as much as if you didn't disclose by in a sense making both the disease and  transmission issue more than it really is medically, of course assuming condoms are used? In this case I think trust works both ways and since there's no medical reason to disclose, she needs his trust first. And that's exactly how she might explain it to him if and when she someday does disclose and he asks why he wasn't told before.

-- Jim

[GSDgirl]

I would rather that come from me.  What happens when you fall madly in love and he/she dumps you because you are sick (with anything).  Some people can not handle infirm, sick, or what ever one calls it.  My brain still shorts out sometimes LOL.

None of us asked for this disease or the treatment that will the viri.  But I would rather spit it out and watch for the reaction, I have done it with people that I know have a chance of finding out.  And she said that he really, really likes her, so why set yourself up for being hurt?  Not because of the Hep but because of being "sick" cause that point will come.

Did I make any sense?

Denise

[oneatenuff]

Jim, I think in her case  (if I saw a medical reason)  it was her peace of mind, mental health, getting something unpleasant over with.    I don't think disclosing in her case will feed further into a stigma concept.  

Think about this scenario:  you're with the woman you really really like, you've been having safe sex, wearing condoms, you walk into her bathroom, see her toothbrush on counter  (she accidentally left it out.)   You use it, she walks in, she reaches up in a reflex and takes it out of your mouth.  

Might happen, might not, you might ask questions, might not.  If it did happen, I would be uncomfortable and wouldn't know what to say about the toothbrush if I had not disclosed yet.