SEXUAL TRANSMISSION AND RELATIONSHIPS

why are people so afraid of transmission by sex when all the documentation i have read says it is such low risk?

my girl just backed off    we were getting really close and then
i told her of my condition
at 1st she seemed ok then   nothing    i think last night may have been the last time i will hold her

i told her before we had sex and before we even kissed

tho i have known her for years and we are really fond of each other .
i cant under stand the stigma  
plz if anyone knows something i dont   post it  is there some new study that says it is sexually transmitted easily?

[koala68]

First, I think you did the right thing by telling your
girlfriend. Honesty is key.

But people are afraid of the unknown. I was under shock when I first learned I had it and now everything is fine and get treated for it.

You are right. Transmission risk is extremely low, virtually zero in monogameous relationships,
but you cannot expect your partner to not step back at first especially if she knows nothing about hepC (as probably 95% of the population). Allow her some time to "digest" the news and get a better understanding about what it means.

Getting sick can happen to anyone. There is no "good" or "bad" disease. No matter what it is, if she get sick one day  she would probably be happy to have you as a partner who can also stand by her side when this happens. If she really loves you she will get back with you sooner or later. On the other hand, if she drops you because of ignorance, then she would have dropped you anyway for any other reason.
Good luck!

[Forseegood]

hi, sorry youre having such difficulties with this woman, I hope you can be okay despite this situation...one thing that I have to keep learning is that, usually, the only people we can really change is ourselves...you might give her all the objective data you can conjure up, but she might insist on believing what SHE CHOOSES to believe, lotta people like that in this world...I just hope youre alright...maybe time to focus on yourself and things you need to do...best wishes to you...

[donnadonna]

I have been with my husband 21 years. I probably have had Hep C the whole time (since High School when I had kidney stones removed and had to have transfusion)but he was tested a few years ago and did not have any signs of hepatitis C. But some people just don't understand. My mother-in-law use to always give me a kiss on the cheek good bye when we visited, but since the day I told her about my Hep C. She just gives me a hug. Not that I don't totally understand, it is just that everyone is different and you can't change that. I would move on ward and up ward. She just wasn't the right one for you or she would not have left so easy. Just my opinion.

[SandyBreeze]

I agree with the posters above.  You've expressed your true feelings and was honest with your condition.  The ball is in her court and it is going to be just that, Pariah.  She may or may not have 'backed off' permanently; She might just be taking the time to process the information.  She may only want to maintain the friendship and you're the one that will have to process that.

As far as your question, pariah127: "plz if anyone knows something i dont post it is there some new study that says it is sexually transmitted easily?"  As long as the sexual activity does not include blood exchange by both parties is can NOT be transmitted. Pleriod.  So it is NOT 'easily transmitted sexually'.  It is rare from what I've been reading and what my hepatologist discussed with me.  Perhaps, it is the 'rare' that remains in her mind.  In the heat of the moment, I suppose she may believe something remote could/may occur.  

You, pariah, may have to let this go.  As the poster said above, you can only control how you're feeling.  

[dlr2007]

Hey, hang in there. You already know I think you did the right thing and admire you for it. I hope she comes around- it is really so hard to catch thru sex- look at all the stats on it. But you can't make someone believe something they are just too scared to wrap their mind around. I know you have a lot of emotion invested in this woman, but I really believe that things work out in the end even if it hurts in the meantime. Perhaps her inability to look at this rationally would be bad for you. If you did get into a serious relationship, you might feel like you could never bring up your hep c again. What if you had symptomsd you were worried about, or had to do treatment? Would you be forced to downplay it just so it wouldn't remind her of your "condition"? When I was in that awful relationship that I sharted with you, I drank like a fish and really convinced myself that it was fine, my liver was "all better"- denial is a destructive thing.
  You sound like such a good person and I know recovery from addiction is hard all by itself. It will be OK no matter what, just keep close to people who are good for your recovery and don't lose sight of how lucky us former junkies are to even be alive today! -Dee

[Mike23]

thanks kalio, that really sucks but at least now i'm more informed ;) good luck with your situation buddy.

[Kalio1]

  Hep C is much harder to contract sexually than Hep B because it is a blood born illness and Hep B can be transmitted through bodily fluids and blood, which makes a big difference.
here is an excerpt from an article about Hep B:
  
"NEW YORK - Hepatitis infects up to 320,000 Americans annually. Hepatitis B is so infectious that someone can get it from a recently used toothbrush if the bristles contain blood from the infected person's gums. (and WET KISSING - ed)
  
It's also easy to get from sex, tattoo and body piercing tools, a bite from an infected person and contaminated needles, according to the Hepatitis Foundation International.
  
"Like HIV, hepatitis B is spread primarily through blood and body fluids, but it's 100 times more communicable," said Dr. Martin Levy, chief epidemiologist for Preventative Health Services at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services."  

[ScaredinNY]

You have to give her some time to adjust to this.  It's not exactly something that is expected.  She's probably confused and yes, scared.  

Please be certain that you did the right thing by telling her FIRST.  Now, just see if she can adjust to it.

[jmjm530]

You're fast becoming our in-house "HCV innocent bystander" expert:) Thanks for hanging out to contribute and congratulations again that things worked out for you.

-- Jim

[ScaredinNY]

Well, I can't just abandon everyone after you all have been so nice to me!  I don't have much of anything to contribute when it comes to discussing techincal aspects of HCV, but if I could at least be of some help on topics like this, I'll give it a shot.

[Mike23]

Hey, I'm really sorry to hear you going through this, if she's the right one then she'll come back. Who knows, she might be doing a little research on it herself right now while she takes some time off from you. If not, maybe it wouldnt hurt if you were to talk to her and present some information about it. I'm actually a little intimidated by women now for this very reason. I assume that you all are talking about hepatitis c in saying that its not easily sexually transmitted, could anyone tell me if this is the same for hepatitis b?

[Kalio1]

As you are probably aware, there is a vaccination for both Heb B and Hep A. To eliminate her concerns, she should be vaccinated.

In fact, everybody should, it is a miracle there is a vaccination!