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Avatar universal

Will things go back to the way it was

My husband has hepatitis c and is on the last 4 shots.Sept will be it.It has been one of the hardest year that we have had to go through.This has been a real test.Right now we are not talking and haven't been for a while.He doen't talk much about anything,I thougt we would be doing this together because I am giving him shots.(he can't do it)he is taking an antidepression which seems to help,but he just doesn't seem to care about anthing.This treatment has worked 100%.I feel so sorry and bad for him,I love him very much,but I feel bad for us because things have changed with us this last year.I feel I have givin him the best and all the support I have to give and I am drained.I think the familys needs just as much support as the one taking the med.I know in the end this will be all worth it,but will things go back to the way it was.We used to be best friends and now we are to strangers living in the same house.how long will it take?If there is anyone that can help that would be great.I can't seem to find anyone.
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439539 tn?1233465815
I sent you a message.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It just seems like he and I are doing bad then everythings gos bad the bills are getting behind i can't find a job and I can keep going on and on. but what's the point.I think at this point nothing will make me more happy then to hit the lotto.We really have hit bottom.and I don't know what to do now.I have no family that can help I don't have a family.I don't have anyone I am a lone but that's how it is.Things have got to go up I keep telling my self,something really good unexpected will happyen.I only have hope that's the only thing that keeps me going from day to day.I hope this day will be better then yesterday.I believe in the divine intervention.and I do believe in angles,I just hope they hear me I sure have prayed hard enough.
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439539 tn?1233465815
It sounds like you guys had a good relationship before he treated.Correct me if I'm wrong.I felt the same way you say you are at this time.My hubby walked out.I done it alone for three months.He called one morning and ask to get back .We did.Two years later, decided yesterday, it is getting better.I am sorry, I let my life get so low as far as the feelings, I let overpower me.Either you love him or you don't.He loves you or he don't.At this time of treating tho I would say with knowledge of this forum-your hubby is in a fog.He can't talk about to much with clarity.The meds have consumed him.Overpowered him.
Do you have a picture of you guys ? Put it where you both can see it everyday.Think hard before you make any decisions you'll be sorry for.You said, you love him, and were happy.Give the meds time to wear off.If you don't see an improvement like SnoWav said, is coming, then rethink your decision.Right now, you need time and a friend.You need him and he's just NOT able to be there at this time.I sure hope you find answers.I hope you guys find each other again.I do know one thing.If we would have had any infidelity in our relationship, we would NOT be together.Good Luck,
Tammy
Helpful - 0
476246 tn?1418870914
I'm sorry to hear how hard this is on you. You changed. We all change and we keep changing. The world is full of change and so are our lives. So don't rule out that you will change even more and why not to your better and happier self. Life is ups and downs and sometimes we have to hit the ground, before we can come up again. Take one day at a time and don't expect drastic changes. You didn't change from your old self to your new self over night either. It came gradually. So from being up and going down gradually you can go the other way, too. If you can, go away for a few days and treat yourself to a massage or a spa. It always helps, I know. It's good to get away sometimes and tank up for new energy. Don't close the door, even if it seems shut at the moment.

Please excuse me if I have said anything that might offend you.

My prayers are with you.

Marcia
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can't see that far in the tunnel,there seems to be no light at the end of it.I have to comformed to his way of life and that has changed me.I don't feel anymore and I am tring and have been for awhile.I know the grass is greener on the other side cause it's sure is dead on this side and life is to short to be this unhappy I feel like I have wasted my time all these years I turned down a wrong road somewhere because I sure don't feel like I should have gone down this road.I wanted so much more out of life and I think all this has made me open my eyes.If he would just talk to me about us and how bad things are,but he won't and every time I try to talk about things he  just sit there and gives me a dumb look,so I just don't talk to him.That's a nice life to live
Helpful - 0
99052 tn?1270983520
my wife went thru 48 weeks first very dark times along with everything the worst for me was she lost her humor nothing could bring a smile ,after TX in just a few days the smile returned and things just got better and better. a yr latter I did my 48 weeks again dark times a couple of weeks after finishing I was dancing on the streets in Florence soooo good  we both bounced back quick to the good life. She cleared I diden't   50/50  hang in there it will be good times again soon
Helpful - 0
439539 tn?1233465815
Remember when you guys first married and had a daughter and were happy ?It's been a long haul with your husband treating.It sounds like you guys had a close relationship before and he closed off from you, family, the world.What I've read here that's normal part of tx.
YOU- Deserve SO much, just standing by his side.He knows your there.
YOU- Have taken on the WORLD all by yourself.Mother, Father, Breadwinner,Decision maker.I have been through some trying times these past two years and it will GET Better.
YOUR NOT by yourself-you have a daughter that is picking up on your sadness and that makes her sad.
Right Now, your family needs YOU.YOU need a day, a week, to get yourself togeher.
YOU sound tired...Tired not being the right word.
Think what you would be without him.
Would it really be better to be withou him?Is greener grass on the other side?
OR
Does that grass need to be mowed too?
I hope the best for you and yours.I really do.It sounds like you love him very much.Here is something a forum member wrote awhile back- meki- I recommend reading this to your husband and daughter.God Bless you girl.Tammy

This is meki's experience WHILE treating.

To: meki's response
Stay far enough away that your noise doesn't affect me, or your perfumes or colognes don't overpower me... Or so that you don't hurt my aching bones --- or steal the air that I feel that I can't get enough of. Stay far enough away so that I don't feel like growling at you for absolutely no reason, but for some reason seems to be the most important thing at that moment to me.

Don't talk to me... Because nothing you're going to say is going to make much sense to me in the first place, and it makes me angry that for some strange reason I feel like I'm in a bubble and can't communicate properly back to you and I'm frustrated.

Don't touch me because it hurts - because right now my skin is on fire and it itches and there is nothing I can do to put that fire out or scratch that itch.

Don't play loud music or turn up the tv to blaring - because I'm sensitive to sounds and lights.

If I'm in a dark room - leave the lights off. If I'm in a bright room - leave the lights on. Sudden changes in lighting or temperature take on a whole new meaning for me --- and it's usually painful or very uncomfortable.

If I seem like I can't hear you - or I  take forever to answer your question - don't take it personally - I may not be able to push past the fog in my head. I hate that I can't talk back to you - or carry on a full conversation. In my head I'm feeling guilty as it is and frustrated that I can't... Because it seems like it should be there - right on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't seem to find it. And I don't know how to find it. I don't even know where it is. So please don't just stand there waiting for my answer, I can't give it to you.

Hold me when I ask for it - because I need it desperately right then.

Love me no matter how much I yell or scream - or just lie there looking sicker than a dog.

Cook for me - even though I tell you I can't eat it - maybe an hour later I'll be able to taste it - or maybe it will not make me throw up again or I won't be queasy for the next 24 hours and it might be alright.

Know that sometimes no matter what you do - because you're not me, going through these things, you just can't possibly understand it.

Understand that none of this is personal... Or maybe that it's more personal than anything I've ever done before.

Know that I am doing this for you.



Read this to Him and see if one of the sides of his mouth doesn't curl up a little.
Hope this helps your soul.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel as a care giver and having one more shot to give my husband,I feel like the stress from the whole year has finally got to me.I feel like i have been run over by a truck phy.I feel like i am done.I have walked a mile in his shoes and now I am very distant from him the way he has been to me the last year.I don't care anymore.I have lost my best friend and it has open my eyes to maybe he was never my best at all.We don't talk about it or amything.It has taken a year to get to this point I have gotten used to no sex and sure didn't think it would end like this I feel I'm to young but,now I am having chest pains and life is getting to me and he acts like everything is ok.I think if he would talk to me maybe we can work things out,i am not saying a nother word to him about us anymore I think if he messed around on me at this point i don't think  i would care that much.I have really gotten used to being by myself and it's ok.I am only 52 years olds.but my body feels like i am 80,stress sure does has a way of working on you.I am happy for him the treatment is working but i don't for see things going back to the way it was.I look at very different now.I don't really care about getting help for us because i don't really care anymore.we will just go along and act like every thing is okey untill one of us dies.this is life I have learned to live with.If I can't talk to him so I am talking to this forum to get it off my chest before the stress really gets to me.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think everything will be okey
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You know ,I do love my husband and I do feel bad for him,but I feel after all this I am not in love with him anymore,I have 3 more shots to give him.I would never leave him,but I'm not feeling it anymore.We have been like two people living in to different worlds,and now I am suppose to go on a family vac and I don't want to go.I really don't want to go with him.I have gotten to the point where I don't care about anything,it's almost like I'm taking this med.It put me in a place that I just don't know how to get out of,and maybe he will go back but I don't know if I can and I am a very strong and postive person,but this is alittle to much for me.I know in the end we will have to seek help.This is really taken a lot out of me stress ,it will kill you in the end.Talking about things with him just dosn't work so I just leave him alone in his own world and try not to stress him or bother him about anything because right now he just dosn't care about things.I have conformed to his way of life.We still have a 13 year old daughter  and it's like I am a single parent trying to raise her and keep this house and the bills and I am looking for a job and I just feel like I can't take anymore,but I guess I have to,they say what ever doesn't kill you it will make you stronger.and I quess I'm not dead yet.I keep praying and have alot of hope,That's all I have.Thank you for just letting me get this off my chest.That helps alot
Helpful - 0
471113 tn?1245108820
Wow so sorry for what you are going thru... I think we forget how much of a toll this takes on the ones that love us as we go thru this journey.... I know for my husband and I, we went thur an adjustment period and it is still not easy.. I know how your husband feels.. you do feel alone... even when you are not. I know for myself I don't feel like making plans or really care if I do much of anything. It is not depression it is just what it is on tx... it messes with your head.. the outcome is unknown... you pray like hell that you can get thru this and be done. I think if we knew for certian that we would be cleared of the virus after tx it would much easier to deal with.

My heart goes out to you... just keep patience.. and cont' to love him unconditionally as much as you can. He needs that now more then ever and be sure to give yourself some much deserved breaks.

Peace and Blessings.
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
A friend of my wife’s confided in her and said that her fiancé was txing.
He told her he felt alone. Her response was, but baby you are not alone, I am here for you. I explained to my wife “feeling alone” is exactly how he feels. He is stuck in the Dark World of Tx.

You should encourage your husband to visit this forum.
I would come here daily and read. This was a one of the tools that got me through tx.
I found comfort in knowing that “I was not alone.”
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This has taken to long to find this web site only if I could have found out when we first got started on this I think it would have made it just a little bit better ,no alot better,but I will tell my husband's doc. about it so maybe it will help other people.
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Avatar universal
what a miraculous forum this is.....
Helpful - 0
179856 tn?1333547362
portann

I once yelled at my daughter for breathing too loudly.  This isn't an exaggeration it's the truth. Thank God my family was warned at how insanely grouchy I could get because the "riba rage" totally would come over me as if I were just going to explode at times over NOTHING.  

The night I yelled at her she looked at my son and they started to laugh and laugh and commented at how really crazy the meds made me. Well that just almost set me off even WORSE but I knew I had to stop and count and realize that it would soon be over.

To this day my family is just happy that I succeeded in treatment - all else has gone by the wayside.

Just make sure your spouse understands.........it's not them it's the meds and yes, we know we are crazy but just can't help it.

You'll be fine.
Helpful - 0
85135 tn?1227289772
I was like you when I treated. Towards the last half of tx, I tried to remember to thank my wife for her help in my tx. It seemed to help a bit.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
sorry i missed this thread last week....i simply can't believe how mean i've been to my husband since i've been on treatment. It's so sad because he's almost an angel. I'm sure your husband knows that you are, too, but it sometimes seems imposssssssibly hard to forgive and forget when the going gets so shockingly nasty.

My doctor said the number one side effect of tx is divorce!

i was warned about depression but haven't felt particularly depressed since starting tx 12 weeks ago. Instead, I feel intolerant and angry with my husband for absolutely no good reason. It's as though every little slight by him from decades past pops into my barely thinking brain and makes me hate him!!  And he totally doesn't deserve this (or almost totally).

We've kept the dx and tx a secret and my resulting isolation really adds to the pressure and makes him the only target of my frustration.  

We've recently starting going to the movies regularly and it's a wonder how it clears the air between us and gets us to a better place. Watching videos at home doesn't really help in the same way. Also, I've started playing online card games on Pogo and that shuts me up while lying in bed, instead of fighting. Still, I wonder if he will ever be able to forget all the dreadful things I've said when tx is over. Isolation has really brought out the worst in me because I'm usually outgoing.

Wish you the very best - you're wonderful to do the injections for him.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This helps alot more then you all will know,I haven't had anyone to talk to about this because no one understands.This is really good to be about to get help and get this off my chest to people that do understand.I have a lot of hope that things will go back or close to the way it was.Thank you so much
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ricky – Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings so honestly and eloquently. I know my wife can identify with many of the things you express. At times, I have also been a hermit, and the treatment has meant huge adjustments in our relationship. The experience is so strange and singular. And it doesn't help that many guys are not particularly good at reaching out to begin with.

My thoughts are with you. My wife likes to say, "boy, I know I promised for better or worse, but no one told me about this!" I hope things do return to normal.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Treatment was the most difficult experience of my life. I lost close friends and my girlfriend and had fights with family members. As "FLGuy" suggests, dont expect a change overnight and I'd say think more in terms of months than weeks. Meanwhile, you might want to see a therapist yourself to help deal with what obviously is a very stressful situation for yourself. Also, when he does come out of it, there's not guarantee that he will be the same person as before. It may be better for both of you than before, or it may be worse. Hope it all works out.
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Avatar universal
Just another little observation.  AD's are in many ways are a wonder drug for some.  One of the side effects can be your emotions become almost flat - no feelings one way or the other.  They help with the ability to cope but in doing so can take away other emotions that are important for maintaing balance in a relationship.  I can't take them - they make me feel like the life has been sucked out of me.  Perhaps after tx he can ease off the AD's and once the tx meds start leaving his body, he can resume a happier attitude. It's not unusual for those on tx to "hide".  It's a very lonely, quiet life of desperation at times.
Trin
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96938 tn?1189799858
For many people, treatment can be a very long and dark tunnel. When one person is on treatment, the entire home can be affected as you have seem.  Hopefully the end of this bad stuff will be the beginning of better stuff.  The shades of the treatment drugs fade over time, it's not necessarily immediate.  He should begin to come out of the darkness within a weeks or so after finishing, but don't expect a full morph overnight.
Helpful - 0
179856 tn?1333547362
Hang in there and don't give up it's almost over.

Things (and your husband) will get back to normal eventually - the meds do take some time to get out of your system but once they do, I expect you'll see him start to come back.

With this disease it's so HARD to tell what a person is going through both physically and mentally (emotionally) - it's such a long hard road. I became a literal hermit almost towards the end of my 72 weeks. I was so miserable and grouchy and didn't care much about anything at all because I was just so damn worn OUT from it all.  But...life does return....you just have a little more time to hang in there and I know you can do it.

One day soon you'll be complainning because he'll be talking so much you can't stand it - watch!

Good luck.
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