Will this day/night ever end???

Anybody out there???? Been going non-stop since Monday morning. Bad anxiety attacks all night.
Sleep is impossible. Had hoped to go into this day rested and ready to step-up to the plate. Well, I've had no sleep or rest but I'm still gonna step up now. Anxiety attacks really bad. Thought at several points my heart was gonna pop out. Meditation isn't working. Any suggestions???? Have to leave here in about an hour in order to get to appt.  What can I expect after my first dose today?
I have a list of questions for today but hell, they never answer. Just dance around the topics and spout out statistics and numbers. How about the truth. Need to know my enemy if I am to defeat.
Will also request all lab copies today. Do I need to get anything else?? ANy questions I should ask and have answered??? Waiting!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the support. Be in touch soon.. Becky

[moondog52]

Well, I'm up too late. slept most of the day. Yes I would request a copy of all lab work
Not being familiar with your condition I can't say what to expect, but you should be asking those questions today for sure. A tuseday would not be my preferred choice
if you are talking about Hep C. For me Friday's are best so  can rest the weekend
before work.

And in any case I would recommend someone close by ... to observe and help.
Reactions to Hep C treatment differ. For some it's not  a big deal ... for my it was
a very high fever. But I didn't really hear the doc's assistant say   "take 2 Tylenol PMs"
before the shot.

Let us know how things go tomorrow, ok?

[goldenrule]

i took xanax for panis attacks. are you on an antidepressant??

[meki]

First

CALM DOWN

You'll give yourself a coronary --- or hemorrhoids at the very minimum!!!

OK - not really LOL!

But seriously "what will be - will be"...

You know you have the disease - you know the treatment stinks - so why are you putting yourself through all of the misery on top of everything else?

Think of it as an adventure.. OK yeah... a kinda stinky adventure... But an adventure, never-the-less. It's a road you have to go down in order to get to the end result.... SVR.

Get a really good book... start a blog online --- find OTHER things to keep your mind busy... Heck - come clean my house LMAO!

Don't worry.

The first dose:

Take a tylenol PM... Poke yourself (after wiping with an alcohol pad) push the plunger...

It'll feel weird --- because YOU will be sitting there waiting for the world to end.

And unless you're allergic or have the absolute worse reaction... It won't....

You'll be on pins and needles.... That fly zooming past your head will feel like the biggest kamikaze pilot every.... Every sound or visual will feel multiplied... You'll be in near panic... Will you feel weird - are you going to get high off of it? Are you going to have massive side as soon as the needle touches your skin?

But really - nothing happens.... So you beat yourself up - wondering.... WHEN IS IT GOING TO START?

Truthfully?

Well to be honest --- go to freaking bed. It's BORING...

You might get chills - feel like you have a fever --- or like you've got an instant cold.

You might feel NOTHING at all.

For most people who do have sides (a lot of folks don't have ANY sides at all) it doesn't start right away.. It's a gradual cumulation of stuff...

This won't be pleasant... But don't put yourself in a panic....

MAKE SURE YOU ASK YOUR DOC for something to control the anxiety -depression... My suggestion is ATIVAN or LORAZEPAM or XANAX... or you could do Prozac, Celexa, Welbutrin, etc.

That will help massively...

Did you take your tylenol pm yet? LOL! As soon as you take your shot --- go get ready for bed.

You're probably going to be very disappointed.

You might only get a headache --- and you'll feel silly cause you were so worried.

TRUST ME on this - cause that's how it happened for me.. LOL!

Anyhow - make sure you Journal your thoughts, feelings, physical sides, what you ate - the time you took your shots and pills EVERY DAY....
That way you can track everything --- it helps at the docs too...

Hang in there - the ride is just about to begin.... and you might be one of those super lucky people who have no sides. It could happen.

Remember to stay well rested --- get a heated blanket --- cause no matter the temp - you'll probably be cold --- and alternately hot... so have a fan too.

Also - keep extra hydrated ---- they say as close to a gallon of water a day that you can get.

You'll be ok --- Alright?

We all feel like this the very first day...

I wish I could go back and tell myself --- on my first day --- to just freaking chill and sit down and watch a movie.... Cause all that worrying was a waste of time... I could have seen something good. LOL!

Anyhow --- SUPER HUGS --- -let us know how you do... And good luck sweetie.

It's going to be a long ride.. But YOU can do it.

We're all here to support you.... and remember --- ask the questions...

Make sure your doc is willing to treat any side effect you're going to have --- if you have any....

Stay calm --- breathe --- read a book - see a movie - play solitaire -- clean your house....

Oh yeah --- gingerale and crackers... Make sure you have those. LOL!

Hugs over and over again.

Meki

[Becky D]

I'm a geontype 1b with stage 3 liver damage. In remission from pancreatic ca. I am currently on disbility and wont come up for reval until 2012. Guess they didn't expect me to make it. I live alone and my kiddos are grown with families of their own. Although they are aware that I am hep C pos for about one yr. they don't know that I have seen liver doc. the test results or that I am beginning tx. today. I think according to all I've read and understand that I will be at best on wk.ends if I take shot early during wk. since work isn't an issue at present but keeping tjis from my family is another thing. they just aren't ready for another round. It's been a tough time all my kiddos these last 4+ yrs so don't want to burden or worry them. How long before I can't hide this from them??? I ran really high fevers with chemo and WBC's always bottomed out. Don't know what to expect. But I know I am alone and will have to deal with this myself. Atleast for now.  Hate the unknown. But then, don't we all. Thanks for your advice and support.

[HassanHelmy]

Looking for advice! I am 43 years old; last month during a routine check up, although my AST and ALT are within normal range, I find that I am HCV positive, I made PCR-RNA test, the counts were hi; 1,400,000 IU/ml. The genotype is 4a. Should I start any thereby?

[Becky D]

Thanks for the laugh. Really needed it. You do have a way with words. Would love to come clean up your house. Any reason to get away works for me... Tahnks for the kind words, advice and laughs...

[nygirl7]

I made the day after my shot "Day of Rest" day for myself (actually I carried it over into Sundays too hee hee - I just told my family if I was going to do treatment they'd need to understand that this was a PART of the treatment and my body HAD to rest all day afterwards).

I went out beforhand and bought all sorts of goodies (cookies, ice cream things like that) - sat in bed with my remote and heating pad and then watched tv ALL day long and dozed in and out whenever I felt like it and basically celebrated on Saturday that I made it through shot night.  I celebrated with my great pals Ben & Jerry who no matter how bad I felt I could ALWAYS count on to make me feel better ;)  oh yes and my friends Mr. Mallomar and Ms. Oreo as well :)

I NEVER had one bit of flu symptoms until much later in treatment.  I almost gave myself a real breakdown though being so worried about that first shot that I slept for 18 hours straight (i heard I never even moved) and just woke up very lethargic.  But none of that fevers or anything and I'd worried SO much about it I can't tell you.

Chances are you will be just fine - after doing "chemo chemo" this interferon chemo will most likely be a real BREEZE for you.

I'd expect that your kiddos will figure it out sooner rather than later though but if you make it through ok and don't loose your hemo numbers and get the dread anemia you might be able to hid it longer.  There were people here at my job though who never had ANY idea that I did 72 weeks of treatment (I guess they just thought I decided I hated my hair and was pulling it out or something) at all.

How old are your kids?  Mine are almost 16 & 19 and I wouldn't want to have to tell them if I had to do this again for example but...since it's NOT cancer maybe you can discuss it with them and save yourself the misery of trying to hide it?   I'd hate to think of you not having any support during all of this.

Debby

PS Doctors really don't help us with our questions that much - make sure you take notes with what he says so you can refer back to them.  Make sure he will prescribe RESCUE DRUGS (ie: Procrit, Neupogen).  Make sure you get a hard copy of every single test result for yourself so you can spend hours obsessing over comparing the numbers like the rest of us (we can be bad that way...really obsessive hahaha) and make sure you have lots of ice cream in the fridge - then you'[ll be way ahead of the game.  :)

ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nygirl7]

oH YEAH if you can get him to prescribe Ambien for the shot night that might help you out if you are a nervous wreck.  I'd take my shot and two tylenols.....then it seemed it started to kick in about four hours afterwards so about 3 1/2 hours after the shot I'd take the Ambien and knock myself out. Of course it doesn't really help you sleep much later on in treatment when your full of riba but...for the first few it might be worth asking for?

[Becky D]

Thanks for your help and suppot. Not feeling very good right now. No sleep, ragged nerves and a very weak stomach. They offered to give first inj there at office or let me do it on my return to home. I elected the latter. Wondering if I should take it today since I really don't feel that well. Maybe just nerves and a little fear or a combination of that plus  I feel like ****. Hard to say from where I'm sitting. Maybe it would be ok if I laid down a bit and tried to rest and took inj. later???? Didn't think to ask. Does it matter what time of day you take it?????? Gonna try and rest. Don't like to think fear governs my ability to reason with logic but whatever it is thats making me feel bad has real sx and I don't really know if I would take this the first time when feeling bad and unsure of cause.... What do you guys think. I'll be on later........... nygirl7, God bless you for your time and concern. You are a jewel. Enjoyed your advice and found humor in it as well....

[debnevada]

Once you get the first one over, you'll feel a lot better about the process. GAR UN TEED

[Toby G]

Hi Becky, im a nieghbor of yours from Granbury, TX, notice your from Glenrose, we may both see same doctor,DR. MONSOUR. Got hep C 1a, and been on peg/ribo for 45 weeks, got just afew to go!
Anyway, Dr gave me Zannax fo anxiety attacks emergences only)  but rarely use them, he also prescribed Ambien, to put to sleep because of anxiety, not ambien CR, just ambien, works verywell for me, also have to take bloodpressure pill while im on treatment since the anxiety seems raise my bloood pressure, its called cozzar. oh ya, the ambien now has a generic which I use and cant tell difference! good money saver!

[Becky D]

Good to hear from a nearby neighbor. So glad to hear that you are nearing the end of tx. That must fell really great. Yes, we see the same Dr. I also see Dr. Barnes, Internal Med. and Dr. Hal who is my oncologist.  Not currently taking any meds for sleep, depression, pain or anxiety. Don't know how long that will last but I'm gonna try. Right now I feel like I feel like I've overdosed on speed or damn close. Wow. What a weird feeling. Thats why I'm not sure I should take inj. and ribo today. Tried to lay down but that was impossible. Took a hot bath and thought I was gonna pass out. Took Phenergan for nausea and I think it made me more nervous. What a vicous cycle. Think I maybe nervous becuz I live alone and feel somewhat afraid to take strange inj. for first time while I'm alone. As I explained earlier mum is pretty much the word. Noone to call so I'm on my own.... I am on myspace cuz I can keep in touch with friends and family in Cali among other places and also to keep tabs on my kiddos.... If you have a profile you can go to browse and put in Glen Rose Zip, 76043 and search around 10 miles. My last name is Davis. My profile tells a little about me and my quirks and personality..Also have lots of pics up of kiddos. If your not on there then I'll try and find you on this thing again. Really get lost trying to find my way around this forum. Would love to chat anytime. Could really use an understanding friend right now. Need all the help I can get.... Thanks for your reply, info and concern..... See ya

[beckyv102]

In answer to your question about what time of day to take the shot, I recommend evening.  My husband finished the treatment last year and I would give him his shots a couple hours before bed.  If your going to get any sides it usually takes a few hours before they hit, so if you do your shot in the evening you may just sleep right through them.
I'm thinking the reason you're feeling so sick today is the anxiety you feel about the shot.  If you wait until tomorrow to start you'll just have one more day of anxiety and will probably feel just as bad tomorrow.  The only reason I would put it off is if I thought I could get my doctor to prescribe something for the anxiety and possibly something for sleep.  
I'm anxiety prone myself, so I feel for you.  I don't think there's any shame in asking the doctor for something to get you past this hump.  Maybe if you called his office he could call in a prescription for you?

[Becky D]

Thanks for your concern and words of encouragement. The first step is always the hardest. Disn't feel good at all. But you guys are probably right in saying that it had alot to do with anxiety and fear of the unknown. Doesn't matter how much knowledge you have pertaining to something the actual experience will always override everything you think you know. The truth is facing the fear puts fear to  rest. I waited until 10:00p to see if I was feeling better and wasn't so that was my cut-off. Took the injection in hopes that you guys were right and if you were then all the waiting in the world wouldn't help things. Did take 2 tylenol 30 min prior to injection and also took phenergan about 30 mins. ago. Really sick to my stomanch but I have been since yesterday. I took your advice beckyv102. Took injection late so maybe I can sleep through the worst of it. Nygirl, also took your advice and stocked up on comfort food. Sure wish I could get rid of the nausea so I could eat some of it.. And as for your advice Meki, I took a deep breath and slowed down confronted the unknown and think I might just have today licked.  debnevada, your right, the first shot will probably be the hardest and I made it past that hurdle. Thanks again to all replys and support. NYgirl, hope your blessed and comforted as I am typing these words. Goodnight to all. You reamin in my prayers. Will let you guys know how tomm. works out.  XOXOXO from Texas.........

[l-horn]

You'll be all right. As I always say, if it was that hard, no one could or would do it but people do, all the time, and worse.

[chevyelcam79]

Hi Becky,

I have 1A and fortunately had a very low vl starting out.  I am located in Maryland and am going to Johns Hopkins University for tx, btw, wonderful docs!  I like u was terrified to do the first one and actually have suffered from periodic panic attacks for years.  Have scrip for xanax as needed.

The first shot felt really really weird, not the medicine going in but just the fact of doing it (had experimented with iv about 23 years ago), is this going to get me high?  LOL!!!  Nothing to it but the anxiety of doing it!  I took my riba prior to doing the shot and an ibuprofen and a xanax (just in case).  About 1-1/2 hours later I did get really cold (oh, did the shot right before bed (about 9)) then woke up in the middle of the night hot.  MEki is right, blankets and a fan!  You never know.  The next morning I was a bit achy but nothing that I couldn't handle (had monthly cycles that were worse sometimes).

Well, I do shot #13 this friday night.  STill kicking, havent missed a day from work besides reg doc appts.  Yeah, I dont feel the greatest some days.  LEgs are the worst thing, just achy.  Really feel it if I overdo it (like last night walked about 3-1/2 miles).  Oh, I did have left shoulder pain for a couple of weeks but gone now.

Hemoglobin is down to 11.5, WBC 1260 and BP drops sometimes.  Doc said that I will feel better when I stop the shots but not much I can do about it right now.  Dealing fine!!!

I am one of the very fortunate ones.  I was UND at weeks 2, 4 and again at 12 so I only have to do this for 24 weeks.  Prayers that you are fortunate also!

Anyway, I understand you are as scared as I was.  Heck, it took me 6 years to decide to treat!  But knowing that there are people out here that are not "sick as a dog" should give you hope and the strength to drive on and don't ever let it get you down!  Keep moving!  Strong willed!

You've got the right place, many many many very good opinions here!

Best of luck!

Shari

[lalas0]

I think I had all the side affects associated with ribiviron and peg. I found taking the injection at night on weekend helped but I had to go on disability while on treatment because the side affects were so severe. I had to keep one end in the pot while the other end was in a bucket. But I made it thru 2 six month treatments and might be going for a third one with new Dr. my viral load just got worse it didnt work for me. I have genotype 3a which is suppose to be one of the easier ones to get rid of buuuuut tell that to my liver. plus I injected 3 times a week with

[lalas0]

pegalated interferon

[Becky D]

So sorry to hear that tx hasn't worked to  this point. Something good will come out of this. You will be in my prayers. Eveyone here is. Tues night and Wed were relly bad. You can check out thread on pressure in head and ears to get the details. Wow, sure hope next tues is better...... take care and let me know how things are going for you.

To all, Thanks for all the feedback. It is greatly appreciated... God Bless