can I tell to my friend?

[ziffy1]

Hallo,As I find this website so friendly,I want ask a question that could be inapropriate but I lot of time I felt like don't be loyal with some friend.From when I meet my partner ,him suggest me to don't talk abaut my healt with nobody.I know that his advice is for be safe,you know the people don't want face with such prob.but I don't feel onest,especially with strict friend.And I don't feel myself,sometime my head is on such worrys and I 'd to show smile.Now ,here in Englang,I knew I italian woman, we are friend but I scare to tell her abaut hiv infection and hcv,plus all abaut the therapy.She work with my partner ,I worry that she can talk with other staff.I  really need to confide with somebody.are you experienced some of this issue?can you give me one advice?thank you.ziffy1....PSmaybe I could tell her only abaut the HCV infection or only abaut a treatment of liver prob,I'm not sure to tell her abaut HIV....

[ziffy1]

Hi Dee you are right ,infact today I've saw my friend in question,and I'ven't told to her about it.just about the anemy and the pills that are to strong for my stomac.I had great time without, after, be sad for that.yes was a very good advices,so I hope to hear again from you.All the best ziffy1

[ziffy1]

Hi, sorry but I saw you answer yesterday and tonight I've tryed to let a message but my connession was bad.Anyway,here I'm!I'm happy when I hear that all the pain,fear ,ecc.can work as you are clear now.well done!My partner is been so busy but the first  day off,probabily thursday,you can bet that I make him to read the post.Yestrday, when I talked about my concern,him say that if him was  me don't even try to do the terapy cause the side effect.I know that could be the worst advice, but are days that I continue to tell him about the side effects and about that in England we haven't the possibility to do the triple,not yet till next  year..So even him are concern abaut what should be the good choice:Try to clear the virus,but with  a lot risc or leave  for now,Maybe if I became ill starting the treatment!But today I 've the Ideas more clear:I'm going to start the treatment .Of course,at the nex appointment with nurse or doctor I'll talking  abaut the possibility to doing the triple,here,and about doing the IL28 test,that will show if I will responding well at treatment..Are you just in 2 drugs therapy? don't you doing interferon?way?Ill wait your answer ,if you can please.anyway thank you a lot.Take care....ziffy1

[sunshine415]

welcom aboard our friend.... I've read each post and as you can tell , which when I found this one... I can't stop talking about to my spouse, it's such a warm ,standable,friendly place to be ,for we are ALL going and doing this together,,, so glad you joined tooo.... remember anything on your mind , just write it down on the post or even to a certain person. and you'll have it all vented out until another question or just a lovely hello is always nice too.. welcome ..... glad to have you here.........deborah

[Dee1956]

Hi there and welcome, I agree with what everyone else has said especially where crossroadsec advised you to guard your heart.  There were times where I thought someone was my friend only to find out that I wish I had never told them because they don't understand.  The wonderful thing about this forum is that there is always someone willing to listen, comfort advise, suggest.  I wish that there were people I did not tell as all they do is drain my energy.
Take care
Dee

[Diane12855]

I did 48 weeks of just Pegasys and Riba. I did reach SVR and am almost back to normal as far as the side effects go. It was really hard at the time, but I am SSSOOOOOOOOO glad I did it.

It may help you some if you could get your boyfriend to read some posts on here so he'll know what is coming. My husband's understanding was vitally important for me.

Diane

[ziffy1]

Hi Diane and thank you for you answer ,I've reflected about and yes,you make one more point...better using the time with my friend for don't think at the hard time.If I going to tell her maybe I can get some attention but it's not what I looking for,maybe she could understand my pain?I don't think so,even because my friendship is based on going in centre ,taking coffee and she talk a lot.she suffer of sime kind of depression but I don't feel so much her,for be onest is very difficolt that I felt somebody,in the last few years.maybe because I've lost so many friend and with them are different.This forum make me free to talk even of what I shame about.Yes Diane thank you and take care.Are you clear now?and had you done the triple therapy? please answer me maybe in the message.big hugs...ziffy1

[Diane12855]

All the responses above are good advice. I just wanted to give you my experience in case it is helpful. I did the 48 week tx and I did tell lots of my friends, but I didn't find their knowing to be of any benefit. They'd ask how I was doing, but there was no way that my answers were understood and when I'd tell them about a new side effect they would think the previous ones were gone... or I'd have to give details I was tired of having to give. By the time I had been on tx for a month, I quit talking to anybody about it besides the people on this site, because they are the only ones who really understand and who could give me some pointers as to how to deal with it. It's just one of those things that is impossible to understand if you haven't been there.

Diane

[suezeeque]

Well, I just have to say, your English is WAY better than my Italian!  ;)  In fact, I'm not able to speak any other language despite the fact that I live in an 'officially bilingual' country!  English and French.

So you're certainly far ahead of me in your second language ability.  :D

As for getting 'professional help' I say - Why not?  If you think you could benefit from it, do it.

[ziffy1]

yes you right,judgment cause always pain,and I'm alredy one that immage the worst.I don't show to much my illness so the people don't immage,but in the same time they aspect from me more.I'm from north Italy and the person are open but evrywhere it is some false lad and often they care too much about the people thinking.Even me, in my home town,evrybody know part of my past,was tought years and I'm sure that a lot are surprise to see me alive!!I'm surprise too.and contrary at you,I'm the cause of my situation.I'll try to take the most of my life what scare me is the psicologic side,are you well?  I haven't suffered a lot in my life maybe I just don't know the real pain!!!
thank you,Karen,I'll continue to writing,then.....all the best and be strong,ziffy1

[crossroadsec]

Good call. Although my friends in Europe were much more open to it, they are also long time friends. They're my biggest encouragment. Others.... I keep it to the very close friends.
I do talk to others... I llive in my hometown and everyone knows there's somthing going on. I just suggest it's like chemo and let it go. I was born w/ one kidney and eveyone knows. I think they assume it's related to that.
Gotta guard your heart. Criticism and rejection can be painful.
And Yipper! this bunch is always here. And we don't mind hearing all your little stories about ur aches and pains.  lol We share and compare!
Karen :)

[ziffy1]

Yes,You make me reflect abaut my relationship with my friend and I think I'm not going to tell her abaut it,not for now.As I've explained is not a normal situation that we are friend,both of us are far from home,from friend and sometime it's hard be close to people with different backgrounds,Or maybe is more easy rapport with people with the same.What you think if I search some professional help?anyway I've this forum with all of you and are amazing to me!! Take care,ok?!!!

[ziffy1]

Thank you yes sad but true.I felt alredy that all of you areamazing and I'm so happy to have find this forum.Can be very usefull;
                                    all the best,mate

[ziffy1]

HI and thank's for answer.yes good point,probabily it's something that I've to decide with him,sometime I'm **** off with him because in the past,like you said,I don't care abaut of what people could think or say,I'd always talked with all my friend abaut my healt(even because most of them was in the same healt condictions)Sad many of them past away,I'm moved in England with my new partner and was as start again,no more drugs,new life and him so differrnt that all previos lads.could u  understanding me?In some way that is worked but all have a price.I'm not a lot friend,I'm far of my country,sons,parent.And I don't work.at the begin because of the language,now for healt.I don't feel that I can work full time.I tryed some voluntaring work but I let, cause one day I feel well and the nex not.and I can't say to them way,so I feel that they think I'm not a reliable person..That drive me mad,is orrible sensation.Anyway I'm not going to tell to this frien,not now. Il try to find some counseilling or some psicologist.What you think?Sorry if I'm so long. Hope you are well,are u in tratment? from when?All the best

[ziffy1]

Hi,for be onesr when I'd wrote my post I thought:"I bet all aswer will be : If you feel her a very friend is better you can talk with her" and maybe that could make me feel as I'm not the really "onest friend".Hard to explain!! but, surprise,not one of the aswers say to me that!! .Contrary evrybody say the same,more or less! Dont tell her if you don't feel her could understanding. Infact, is the situation that lead me to tell her because I'm far from home,my "old" friend(sad to say but most I 'd lost),so it's not a choice that me and her are friend but the situation.I know some english people but is difficult to became  close cause the language.My partner is always busy ,him start to work at 11AM(when wake-up) and have a small break at 4PM till 6 and then work till 12 a night.Him think I'm too tragic the fact to starting this therapy,him say that I feel alredy bad before starting.My parent is too old and too far..Sister? I've got one and is enought! always judged me,so I felt alone but I've find all of you and that give me a lot of answer.And this is one.thank you for stop me.big big hug.Take care

[suezeeque]

My advice is, if you don't feel perfectly comfortable telling a person, don't.  There's a reason you don't feel comfortable.  

I've told many people but the ones I don't feel 100% comfortable telling, I don't tell.

If you just need to talk, this board is a great place to get stuff off your chest without worry about judgement.  :D

[JasmineT]

It seems unlikely any good would come from telling, it may be on your mind often but others will not know who to process the information.  It may best if you just tell a close family member you can talk to, a sister or parent maybe.  Everyone on this forum will also understand more fully what you are going through than others around you.

[desrt]

Almost everyone here will tell you, "Don't tell." I always talked about it to everyone, but I seldom care what other people think ;-)
If telling might effect your partner or his work, then this is something for the two of you to decide. If your friend notices you not feeling well from the treatment, you can always say you are doing treatment for a 'liver problem'.