Aa
depression
I have 2 much on my plate boyfriend very abusive i cant take it anymore seeing phyc on mon for my depression meds for treatment he was supposed to drive me now he says he wont i live out of town now what? we just lost our greyhound this is bad lupus coming on strong cant leave my little doggy no where to go and i feel like a truck hit me and my heart is shattered this is insane how much can one person take he is so mean my face is covered in red spots just to make it better hey cry baby i know but really some people just have no love i get more understanding from complete strangers than him i want to just cry i just don't know what to do i feel like my whole life has been stolen how can someone live without getting an once of affection or kindness i need to be in a warm loving supportive environment to be emotionally strong enough in treatment don't I? i may put off treatment until i sell the house he leaves me no choice i cant live in anymore meanness man i am sorry guys just had to let it out
You are very welcome this is why we are here after all, some of us years after we have treated. Some people think we are nutso for still being around but.......we understand it anyways.
I am glad you are getting so far so quickly. You just have to remember to take it all one day at a time, one minute at a time for a while. It's all we can do in life after all. Believe me there are folks on here who understand exactly what you are going through and have been through similar things......and that is why we all hang out together in here even if it is the internet - we are really friends and family.
Keep on going IV!
I am glad you are getting so far so quickly. You just have to remember to take it all one day at a time, one minute at a time for a while. It's all we can do in life after all. Believe me there are folks on here who understand exactly what you are going through and have been through similar things......and that is why we all hang out together in here even if it is the internet - we are really friends and family.
Keep on going IV!
Thanks guys. I got to my appointment. He did take me. I should let u know it's all except for a couple times, verbal, emotional abuse.It is such a touchy subject I feel nervous just as I write to you about it Emotional abuse is worse i think. Harder to prove and harder to get over..You cant even imagine how bad the screaming, banging slamming, throwing stuff, he is like a human volcano that erupts spontaneously without warning.Needless to say me and my little doggy our nervous wrecks. Anyway back to the doctor stuff.Saw the phyc yesterday. Got the green light for the treatment. He asked me if I had put plans in place if he gets out of control. I have. A sis in the city I think I can count on.?? A friend from a church who could take me to a shelter.My best friend who is very sick himself told me I was welcome there. I stayed there once before when things got really bad. I had a narcotic bowel that time. I don't think you have heard of it but let me tell u it is agonizing and I almost didn't make it through. It was my best friend who helped me with that.There was no room for me there but he made room for me in his tiny little room, put up a cot for me. His family made me like a daughter.I am blessed in more ways than I realize and that is so hard for me to see when I'm down. I will try to stick to the doc stuff today.He gave me Cymbalta and congratulated me on being so prepared and informed. Told me to go back to my family doc and insist on the blood work he denied me for my lupus again and for him to call his office if there is a problem. They need to know where my Lupus is now and then during treatment so they have a comparison as it is a balancing act. with the meds. One to suppress the immune system while another boosts it. Zero tolerance to the spouse for any yelling etc.Tell him to take a time out. The big problem here is also the lack of space. It is like a tiny bach suite here. Tiny house so nowhere to go except outside and that can be a problem in Canada on the prairie.Thanks again everyone. I am focusing on me for the first time in my life. I am so grateful to have found such caring people like yourselves I wish all the best for you. I will try to keep everyone updated on any new info I get regarding treatment meds etc. and of course you are all in my prayers. Blessed to have u. Now if I can just get my insurance to cover the Cymbalta its pricey but I'm worth it right? Take care guys and thank you all for the support. Hugs
It seems to me as if you own the house outright if it's in your name. I know a fellow who convinced a woman to put her brand new fancy car in his name for insurance reasons or something and then he just took it and left........and there was nothing she could do about it. If he is abusive towards you and makes threats then you can get the authorities involved and stay at a shelter until they do so perhaps?
You have to get a handle on the depression though unfortuantely as everyone else has said you really can't do treatment while you are going through all of this it will be too much for you to handle - even if you can find a doctor who would be willing to give you at interferon at this stage....it's very worrying you really need a good medication right now to help you get through all of this.
I hope you can find a way to get to the doctors to get one asap.
All of our fingers are crossed for you!
You have to get a handle on the depression though unfortuantely as everyone else has said you really can't do treatment while you are going through all of this it will be too much for you to handle - even if you can find a doctor who would be willing to give you at interferon at this stage....it's very worrying you really need a good medication right now to help you get through all of this.
I hope you can find a way to get to the doctors to get one asap.
All of our fingers are crossed for you!
I hope you got to your appointment okay today? Please let us know. Don't let *yourself* down. Do these things for YOU. Hope things go well with the doc and the lawyer.
Trish
Trish
There are also battered womens shelters. I dont know how long they give you to get your life in order. Im sure they dont accept dogs though. How are you paying for treatment and your doctors? do you have medacare or medicade I get the two confused. There are men/people who are incapable of loving anyone. Some of them are only capable of loving theirself. Why my own mother inlaw called her son a ah the word will come to me in a minute. You see my husband Tom Beat Allison (his 12 yr relationship) he was arrested for domestic violence with vicky (his 3 year relationship) and Racheal (his 1.5 year relationship) Then he moved on to me his lucky first wife. Ofcourse I did not know this prior to our marriage. A Nar-Sa-Sist thats what his own mother calls him. hum. After the first physical attack. She told me Allison was an enabler. Im sure all of us were an enabler. For putting up with his mouth for more than 2 seconds before showing him the door. His mother is the biggest enabler of us all. She sends him large ammounts of money so he can start his life over. Buy clothes and such , after he looses it all thru drinking, loosing jobs and apts (through drinking) going to jail be it for drinking, or domestic violence. And even if he is sobber for 7 months at a time or one month @ a time he was still mean everyday with his words, and threats, and threats of violence. Unlike you instead of getting depressed, or feeling inferior. I silently stewed. I thought about (breaking the law?) 101 ways to commit M--der and getting away with it. I was going to wait and let the health insurance my husbands x-company provides pay 4 my treatment. Just because my husband knew he had hep C. Before I met him. But in the end I find I can no longer toleraite his mouth and his fists. or anything else he does. I have my farm (though Im behind on the bills and looking for work) If elec gets shut off I can live w/o. I can cook and heat on firewood. Im eating a deer I accidently hit with my van. The f----ing water is even close to shut off. I have a pond. I will drink it if i have to. My cable, land line phone, and internet was a gift from a friend. He ment well for me and my husband. But now he cant afford it. And I have to pay the next Bill. I may have a job , but if I dont I can live w/o all this. With all that said. I feel Great . and although Im obviously filled with hate/rage towards My Sweet Loving Man. lol. I wake up every morning happy and I look at all the beautifull things here on this farm, like my Cat (The Nut ) Peanut is her proper name. the horses, the bug music, the mountains. the clouds, the sound of frogs, all my other animals. The peace and serenity around me in my little world. Let me know how it goes with Your home. what the lawyer says. Oh just got off the phone with friends in texas. If that house is in your name its your house. You could open up for a lawsuit, but im thinking if he owes goverment. and is filing Bankruptcy surely he has not included a house in the bankrupcy papers. So this sounds like a win win for you. Get rid of him.
I see you said he put the house in your name. WoW. A abusive man said to my girlfriend in not so nice words. Woman go pay 4 my horse. And then he gave her the money. Her objection was she had no valid picture id. I just told her to do what her man says. I vouched for her id. they accepted her library card. She paid for the horse. A few months later when the relationship went further south and they ended it she was the proud owner of a horse. Because the horse was in her name. as bought @ the auction. Is your name the only name on the house as owner??? You say he is abussive. Has he ever hit you??? Threatened you? are you afraid of him? Get a restraining order or as they call them here in oklahoma a protective order. Verbal abuse is abuse. Often times the verbal leads to the violence... You said you can't work due to the lupus and HCV. I wonder if you are intitled to s.iis or sis or disability. Have you applied for that? it may be a way for you to eventually gain your freedom from a bad man. You might try to work p/t ? Could you find a female room-mate that did not mind sharing a room? Which might help you pay on your morgage Im thinking your in texas. My morgage is under 400 a month. I thank God I dont own in Calif or boston or someplace. that is real expensive. I bought my land before I met my husband. I have a restraining order against.him. I dont have a job as my husband did not want me to work. I was too untrustworthy etc. You should look up some of the domestic violence/spousal abuse web sights. There is such a thing as the controll wheel.You should feel better once he is gone. If he is beating on you call the police. and get a restraining order. if he is abusive get a restraining order. Hey we can still try panhandling @ Wally World. Here it pays well. lol.. Is your confidence intact. Where you know you absolutly live w/o him. on the restraining order all You have to do is go to the court house fill out some paperwork. you will probally see a judge that same day. have him served @ work? Pack his S--t up. set it out side and make him have a sherrif with him to come get his belongings. Your state is much better than mine with domestic violence issues. Do you go to church? maybe you could get some temp financial aide from them. out here we can get assistance 1 x a year with elec, or gas bills. out here we have septic tanks. I was able to rent a trailer space. But my husband beat her too the last time he beat me. So she left. But that would of helped me with half of my morgage in a perfect world. Good luck to you. If you ever need to vent I along with many are here to listen. ginger
Thank you As we speak I am waiting for an lawyer online to tell me what I am entitled to do as far as the house goes.He put the house ,very small like one big room really in my name because he owed so much $ to the government.(he is currently in bankruptcy) Like a fool I went along with the idea and he promised to continue working full time and pay off the bill. I did most of the renos with the help of family. He is trying to force me to leave and soak all the debt.Which right now seems like the only answer but where do me and my doggy go when u cant work? Hes got me between a rock and a hard spot. I am almost 50 I cant go bankrupt.I even told him that we could work out some sort of deal. He thinks my contributions which have been costly and hard work are worth nothing.I used to install vinyl siding working construction so I did do alot new windows doors floors etc now that contribution must be worth something.I know u r right and i am going to do what is best for me from now on and stop this wishful thinking. Thank you so much u give me courage and insight and I am so grateful I am going to ask someone here in town to take me to the nearest bus depot Monday and do what you said be honest with my doc and find somewhere to stay so this treatment will work. I really wish I could give u guys a hug thanks for the advice and the words of encouragement I needed. I promise I wont let u down..Thanks again bless u
I would also suggest that you ask someone else for a ride to your appointment. All they can say is yes or no. Offer to pay for gas and their time. This guy has power over you and he knows it and uses what power he has to control you and pull your strings and he likes it. So take your power back and come up with your own solutions. Start with coming up with a solution to get to this doctor's appointment. Everything starts with one small step. Again.....good luck to you with all this. Rooting for you.
Trish
Trish
You are NOT a cry baby. You are a human deserving of others support and love. Whatever relief it brings rant away. Dump your boyfriend, he's a jack***. Why is he around? You are stage 3 hep c. You have some time to delay treatment. Make a plan, work it. The goal is to create the conditions for you to start treatment. You are tougher than you think, you've shown it already.
Dogs are life!
Like a detachable appendage. Haha, how's that for an analogy?
Amazing critters.
God bless.
Dogs are life!
Like a detachable appendage. Haha, how's that for an analogy?
Amazing critters.
God bless.
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Some people operate on the principle that bad love is better than no love and they don't even know it. You need to ask yourself if that's what you're doing. And let me tell you, that's extremely faulty thinking. "Bad love" is abuse. And to think that there will be no love if you give up the bad love is also faulty thinking. You need to be your own warm loving supportive environment first and foremost. And then you start adding others to your life who are healthy and positive and treat you with respect and kindness. Believe me, it is worth weeding out the ones who don't and the ones who don't treat others that way. I have known people in my life who treat me well but treat others poorly and it' s worth weeding out those people as well. Build a circle of people in your life who are healthy and positive to your world. Small healthy circles are better than large dysfunctional circles. Get rid of the bad love.
As for treatment, If this fellow will not take you to an appointment before you start treatment and it affects you this way, imagine what it will be like as you go through the various side effects that treatment can bring your way. It's worse to go through treatment living with someone who doesn't care about what you're going through than it is going through it alone, as in living on your own. You build up a different support system, such as this forum and others in your life but primarily, your support system is yourself and you will be amazed at how strong you can be. You will also be amazed at who your supports turn out to be. I learned not to count on anyone at all but to simply ask and then be grateful if the answer was yes. Primarily, I counted on me and knew there was a core group of people I could count on for the major things. I also had a counsellor and a local Hep C support group. There are supports that you can put in place for yourself. This guy has already shown you that you CANNOT AFFORD to count on him as you go through treatment. He will NOT be there for you. To think otherwise is wishful thinking.
Treatment is a serious undertaking and you want it to be successful. Part of that success is sticking to your treatment drugs and dealing with side effects which may be mild to downright debilitating at times. You want to be in as good a mental shape as you can to go through this.
I would strongly recommend that you consider resolving your life situation first and then go through treatment. When you see the psych on Monday consider being completely honest with him and perhaps he can help you see a psych who will help you resolve your life situation first before you go into treatment.
Good luck to you.
Trish