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does it really ever get better?

My wife has three more weeks to go on her treatment and the mood swings anger and irrational behavior is getting worse. I love my wife very much but I dont know how much  more I can take. she is violent rude and tonight she left
with her dogs and said she was getting a motel for the night because I didnt read her mind and make dinner excatly the way she would have done it. I dont mean to sound like I dont have compassion for what she is going thru,but I am just about over the edge. I got laid off from my job on friday and she had some kinda problem at work on thursday and she would not even talk about it. he said she didnt understand it so how could I possibly .I am so tired of being treated like I am nothing. I have tried to be understanding but there seems to be a double standard. she works late that's ok. I finally have someone interested in my music and they want to hear some things from my catolog and I am trying to put it together,I am told they aint gonna listen anyway? I really think maybe Im going crazy, I just want to run away sometimes and I know that is wrong but I thought a marriage was an equal partnership not a dictatorship maybe I am just whining for nothing I dont know
44 Responses
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80575 tn?1207132364
depressed husband says that he (she?) lost their job.

Maybe he's job seeking?
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
Actually kickingboxmom caught it first.
If she is a Troll, we have to give her credit. She took us all Hook, Line, and Sinker.
Helpful - 0
602261 tn?1252583158
You are correct sir. Perhaps this is a troll attempt or a gimmick who knows? Why post and then never really reply? Strange. Good catch on the gender I would have never noticed.
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206807 tn?1331936184
      I was thinking the same thing last night. More food for thought, did you notice depressedhusband’s profile say's Female?

Merriam/Webster---“A Male Partner in Marriage”

This was either a mistake in the profile or a Troll.
Helpful - 0
602261 tn?1252583158
I'm lost. This guy starts these threads and gets a mass amount of replies but does he ever answer?
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
“Think about having her read this thread”
Do keep in mind, this may backfire and result in a serious @ss Whooping.
Helpful - 0
80575 tn?1207132364
Hi depressedhusband.  

Straight up, it's the drugs talking.

I've written this here before....about 20 weeks into my first tx, one day I became enraged over nothing at my wife and two pre-teen kids.  In nice clothes I stomped out to my garden and began weeding it by hand while shouting nasty things.  About two hours later I was covered in dirt, exhausted and came in for a shower and apologies.  My behavior wasn't anything like that before tx.

Now here's the opposite view of your present situation....My wife didn't want me to start a second tx because of all the crazy mood swings on 1st tx..  Somehow she thought that I should just "suck it up", be a man, take the drugs and behave myself.  On 2nd tx (Vertex Prove 3) about half way through I came to this board and asked for help because she showed NO understanding of what I was going through.  Something really helpful happened....a guy named Willy50 suggested that I have her read the thread.  She did and began to understand what it looks like from my shoes.  I'd like to suggest that you have your wife read this thread to see how much you love her and that there are people here who have experienced the same things.  BTW; I don't agree with many of the above people who deny that it's the drugs talking.  Everyone reacts differently to this poison and it doesn't make sense to make a general statement.

Here's a couple other things that I'd like to suggest for your family:

a.  Why don't you do something just for you.  My wife took the kids out to dinner & a movie a few times WITHOUT me.  I appreciated the quiet house and they appreciated not having my grumpy axx around for a few hours.

b.  Will your wife's doctor prescribe something to help calm her down?  On my 2nd tx Dr. Paul Kwo at IU Med. Center was very aggressive at treating side effects.  He tried different things like Valium which at the end of a long day was a pleasant way to take the edge off.  Oh by the way, right after tx stopped, so did the Valium.  At the risk of starting a pot thread...that also was helpful to take the edge off.  Drugs aren't the only avenue to take the edge off either.  I went in for a weekly massage and at the risk of dry skin enjoyed a hot tub 2-3 times per week.

She has 3 weeks to go.  About 2-3 weeks after stopping each treatment, I began to feel alive again inside.  I love music, especially rock-n-roll, however during tx I just couldn't bear the noise.  Each time after stopping tx, about the 2-3 week mark I noticed that the beat inside of me came back and on came the stereo.  What I'm saying is that you are almost there and you'll get her back.

Here's something for you to look forward to.  I completed my second tx (Prove 3) almost 16 months ago.  I found out that I went UND on this tx between week 1-2 and remain UND at my last blood draw which was 12 months post tx.  I'm cured and have my life back.  

Oh yeah, my wife and are are back to our normal issues (nothing's perfect, right?), my kid's are now teenagers which create so many active discussions in the house.  It's back to normal in my house...you'll get there too.

Think about having her read this thread.

Take care.

miked



Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
Whoa, I didn't see that one coming.


About Me: Female, - , member since Jan 2009
Helpful - 0
439539 tn?1233465815
"I think we pretty much covered it from every angle"

Look at depressed husbands profile and I think we may have another angle to look at..I'm sorry if I'm wrong.

Tammy
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206807 tn?1331936184
Your welcome. Hopefully this thread will be put to rest. I think we pretty much covered it from every angle.
Helpful - 0
577132 tn?1314266526
Yes, thanks for lightning the thread up!

Helpful - 0
149675 tn?1416673133
funny!!! Thanks for injecting a little humor into this.

The bottom line is no one knows what the relationship is really like. Everyone is speculating. I just presented facts that the medicine does indeed do this to some people and some relationships.

If there was a problem before this will only make it worse. My wife is close with me and supportive and was ready to head for the hills at one point. She said I do not think this treatment is worth it.

thanks again for the joke. Old classic but a good one!
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
He could try this

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,

“You Can Be THE Man of Your House.”

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You  will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating my  meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are  going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will  wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will  massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."

Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
The question was “does it really ever get better?” I don’t think anyone can give an answer without looking at her past behavior.
He also went into detail describing his relationship thus opening up for our opinions. Everyone that responded saying her behavior is caused by tx is also giving their opinion. My opinion (which was asked for) is, I doubt things are going to get better.
He asked a treatment question and it is getting answered.
However, there is 2 sides to every story and we are only hearing his version.

Helpful - 0
577132 tn?1314266526
With respect to all, this IS a Hep C Help Forum.  Not a relationship/counselling forum.  

The question was asked "can the meds cause this behavior" and I believe this is the answer we should be endeavoring to respond to.

Whether we "buy" what this person is saying is irrelevant, they have asked a seemingly sincere treatment related question.

They have not asked us for our opinions on their relationship, nor have they asked for our opinions of their significant other.

Who are we to judge?
.
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
Everyone seems to be focusing on the effects of treatment and over looking her prior mental condition.

“If  this were the first time she said she hates me,I would say okay it's the meds.but it is the third time the other two before the treatments”

She told him twice prior to the Meds, She Hates Him

.”It seems as long as I just do whatever she says things are fine”.

This is pretty much self-explanatory

“And she has always been a very controling person”

Refer to above

“She lost her mom last year and was devastated when her mother cut her out of her will.because she sold her mothers home and had her deamed mentally uncapable to make her own decsions.”

Let’s see’ she deemed her mother mentally incapable to make her own decisions and sold her mother's house. Afterwards she was devastated because of being cut out of the will???????

”I  didnt realize that i you dont do what she says she will make you”

Refer to above

I am not buying it
Helpful - 0
320078 tn?1278344720
I can only tell you my experience. Yes the meds effected my mental health!!!!!!!  It would be either crying, or raging mad.   If someone had cut me off on the road, I would chase the car.  If my husband said how do you feel?  my answer would "how do you think i feel?"

My mood was like a roller coaster and Kenny (my husband) never knew what he was walking into,

I like Dragon, gave husband and my children the literature to read.  The support of my family and friends got me through treatment.

Good luck!!
Helpful - 0
577132 tn?1314266526
Actually, I felt like I was suffering from drug induced psychosis on my first treatment.

It is not possible to quantify someone else's experience so please do not try to tell me what I did or did not experience.

Also, for women, the treatment drugs also affect our hormone production and levels.  You have heard of PMS, yes?  Mix that with an historical tendency to mood swings, some severe serotonin depletion in the form of interferon, riba,  and lack of sleep, and a good helping of cortisol from emotional stress and worry about whether this treatment is going to work or not and you are looking a pretty potent molotov cocktail just waiting for a match.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
"Drug induced psychosis" is an exaggeration.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Interferon is a nightmare, truly a torturous nightmare. I always tell my family before the first injection (been treated many times) "Say goodbye to me, because Mr. Hyde has come to stay for awhile." The psychological side effects are truly that bad. A drug induced psychosis is not an exaggeration.
Helpful - 0
149675 tn?1416673133
Ron,

I appreciate your point of view, but I am not trying to sympathize with this woman. My point, as is others here, is to point out to Depressed husband that the Meds really do make people do these things and act in bizare ways. This medicine is strong stuff and can effect some people much worse than others.

I am not speculating and am stating fact. I am not sure where you seem to come from to be convinced it is not the meds and she is a lunatic.

Maybe the woman did have previous mental health issues. This medicine will only make those problems worse.

I thank God that I talked to my wife completley prior to treatment and all the way through.She has been part of the process. She understood as much as a person who has not treated can what is going on. She said she will stick with me all the way through "In Sickness and in Health" until death do us part. We took our marriage vows seriously. She did not "run like hell".

I do not know depressed husbands life story, and do not pretend to know it. Maybe he has some issues that actract him to abusive relationships. I have no idea. I am not a shrink.

I was merely pointing factual information about how interferon can and does cause this in some people. This is not a phenomenon that only effects the hep C community. This has been documented in cancer patients as well as interferon is used as a cancer treatment also.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
We should suffer the ones we love if for no other reason they most likely, through the years, have suffered us."Love is patient, is kind, is not self seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs." This treatment is brutal and not understood by those that have not experience it. jerry
Helpful - 0
288609 tn?1240096756
The meds can effect your mental health and if you have any prior issues it will exacerbate them. When I go into a rage even over small things it is so hard to reverse it. I need to go off and be alone. Is there any family or friends that can help you with her and give you some time off? She needs AD if she is not on them or to bump them up. She is so close to the end try to stick it out and allow for some time after TX for her to get better. I read that the first month off of TX is worse than on TX. Hopefully afterwards she will realize how unreasonable she was and be thankful to you. If it still is not working several months after TX then would be the time for you to decide to stay or go.
I had a friend where his wife left him during TX and I felt as did his family that was the wrong time to go. They no longer speak to her and she is one of my best friends. She now regrets it but it is to late. Protect yourself and try to make an agreement that when she starts to get unreasonable or cruel that you or she can walk away for a time out.
I wish you the best
Connie

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634590 tn?1293774093
im on week 19/24. i experienced the same mood swings, i.e anger, disopointment, depression and sometimes crying. i have started antidepression for last 15 days and now im feeling very good. consult your doc for ADs. he will help better. And also dont mind any word and act of your wife. Things are not in her controle.
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