down 8 of 48,8 wk. vl down ,feeling confused

hey guys,

I havn't wrote for a while, I went to my dr. after my 8 wk. ck. up. I was at 7million 5 hunderd thousand and blah, blah. Now I am at 43 thousand @ 1. The Dr. said I am doing very well on this treatment. I on the other hand , am getting very emotional. I am not trusting any one except my parents and children. My fiance is for getting about mt tx. and feels that I am using my illness as excuses in life. I am tring so hard to do everything myself, I don't want anyones help. I am not very happy with life right now. I wish I could just go away, far away with my two dogs, my two children ( even though they are 18 @ 21) but still very close to me and my parents whom I love and adore so much. these people that I just mentioned is my heart and my life. My fiance is good, but not compassionate enough. He was rasied with an english father and a danish mother. I on the other hand am Italian and I am very compassionate and loving. Oh well in the words of the rolling stones " You can't always get what you want " Sorry about my babbling, I am just so sad. 40 more weeks to go.


                                                  Thanks to all who truley listens and cares about other people

                                                                       Debbie

[jools57]

Hang in there...it is very hard for some people to understand what we are going thru while we are treating...especially if we don't have too many physical sides...they think we are ok...but treatment is rough emotionally along with the physical...I'm glad you have your parents, and kids, and dogs...
you can babble here anytime!!!...i do it too...you do have people who will listen and do care here on this forum...so feel free to visit here often....you do need other people to help you during this time...so dont try and do it all yourself...that will drive you crazy...i hope your fiance will step up to the plate, and be more understanding...
wishing you all the best...blessings, julie

[debnevada]

Deb:

Are you taking an anti depressant? sometimes that can help with the symptoms that you are describing; i have experienced that lack of trust in people as well on treatment and it's specifically tx induced.  Prozac has helped round the edges but i still have a little bit of it.  

Truly, the only folks who know what you go through are other folks treating.

We understand, Deb. Maybe show that post from a few days back or sometime last week where everyone was giving advice to the girl who's spouse was giving her a hard time? I thought that was particularly good because this group here, this stoic group, wrote with eloquence about what this is like.

We are here for you, Deb and most of all, we understand what you are going through.

deb

[Myown]

Sorry to hear you are not feeling well. I understand the emotional rollercoaster. It's horrible. I wonder if I will ever feel like I used to.

Its important for your fiance to understand what you are going thru. Deb, if you are going to spend your life with this man, let him know he has to learn to show a little bit of compassion. We all have things we go thru in life, tx won't be the last of our tribulations unfortuanately, so make sure your fiance understands he needs to be there for you. But Deb, even if he is there for you, he still might get on your nerves. My husband is always there for me and is a living doll, but he still gets on my nerves and I know its me not him. I'm hoping that after the 6 month post tx that all the meds will be out of my system and I will feel better emotionally. If not I feel sorry for my husband.

I am sitting here contemplating emailing my friends and telling them I want to have a break from emailing or talking to anyone for a month. I just don't feel like being around anyone at this time. In my case its me, in your case maybe if your fiance was a little bit more attentive you might feel alot better. Either way deb, you're not alone. We all understand what you are going thru.

I hope you feel better soon.

[cajunlady]

debnevada is right.  Most of us feel the feeling you are experiencing right now.  I fought going on the anti-depressants at the beginning of my tx.  What a mistake.  It is what kept me a little more sane.  I was able to easily get off them when I finished tx.  They will make a world of difference for YOU and all family/friends around you.  Keep the chin up girl, it gets rough and rocky sometimes.  We are here to listen to the (what you call babble) that is what this forum is all about.  So, anytime you need support just click on in, someone will be here.

Good Luck with the fiance.  You know this is just one trial in you life, you are still young.  Will he be there is something else happens, and will he be supportive.  You need someone in your life that can give compassion as well as take it.  Just my opinion here.

Good Luck,
Cajun

[glucklich]

treatment can be a bear. Roller coaster and all. Just know that it ends and you maybe get to be whole in that end.

[GrandOak]

The good news is that the frist 6 weeks is when our bodies go through the most dramatic response to the meds and usually stablize for the remainder of tx.  Hopefully the same holds true for you and the worst is behind for now.  

[HappyDeb]

Thank you so much for your hearts of support and knowledge. I am going to see my Dr. tomarrow to discuss my feelings. The only thing I did not like was they said maybe we will take you off of tx. That will flip me out even more. I want to get rid of this demon in my body. I will not let them take me off tx. It is my decision and I am going through this 100%. I am usually a very strog person, I just crashed alittle. I have to pick myself up brush off the dirt and keep going.I spoke to my fianc'e and he said that he was sorry and understands. We have had alot stress latley, we moved , worked packed , unpacked, had our children visit us etc..... I have been really good, but he crashed first, and said that I had all my sh-t in a closet and I snapped because we just moved in , not everything is in it's place yet ,and he is taking up more room then me with his clothes !!!!! 3 closets to my one. So I went alittle nuts. We just spoke it out and I made him understand. He will be going to the DR. with me tomarrow so he can listen to what is happening to me, and understand better. He wants to support me he says not debilitate me with the virus., He wants me to have a great additude, well so do I  and I told him that. You know men sometimes think to logical then emotional like us girls.Oh well that's why we have to communicate and make them know that we are almost always right !!!!! LOMA_SS OFF !!!!

                                      thanks for making me babble my dear friends, love ya and peace

                                                                  Debbie