feeling mentally stuffed at time's affecting my personality too

hello to all you wonderful ppl out there,

I think i have to start admitting that i may be experiencing mood swings and as a consequence, experiencing mental probs'... it could be affecting the likes of my kids. At times i can really get really snappy, i mean being a single dad of 4 and having to bring them up alone is frustrating enough, but this is like adding insult to injury and don't know if i should mention it to my clinical hep c nurse.  I'm worried if i tell him that i feel like im changing and i have less mental tolerance toward my kids that he may withdraw me from my treatment.   I may dummy spit at them (curse at them) but i do soon get over it though, but this may be the beggining of becoming a monster to their eyes or anyones eyes.
  does anyone out there have such feeling, and perhaps have an opinion? Do i just go with the flow until i have no other chice but to whisper this to the system?
             thnx
        Bless ya all!

[strator]

Shadoww

[Drarig]

I'm glad you posted that about snapping at your kids -- I have always been stressed, but now since on treatment, I sometimes feel like a rabid dog.  Not depressed, but just get mad easy.  Sometimes no patience, whatsoever. I've also been brain dead at work -- things I've been doing everyday for 18 years, & now I have to stop and think about how to do them.  What's that saying - she's a couple clowns short of a circus?  Well, that's me the past month...

[52TELE]

Hi shadoww. four kids for a single dad is a difficult proposition at best for someone without HCV and treatment. Have you had the oportunity to talk with your kids about whats going on with you? I sometimes cant be completely honest with my 15 yr old , but he knows what I'm going through and never fails to suprise me with the compassion and willingness to help me in any way he can.
I  , like lots of our other friends here , take AD's to help deal with this whole thing. Our brains and our sense of well being need a break from this medication induced nightmare called combo therapy. The meds stop our bodies from producing the seratonin that it needs and the result is anxiety and depression. A lot of your "snappy" feelings are a direct result of the Ribavirin you take daily. Cut yourself some slack , see your doc about the way you are feeling. Lexipro and Paxil are both great AD's that seem to work for lots of us.
Ask your oldest for some help. They might suprise you.(or not)
Take care shadoww and let us know whats going on.

[shadoww]

hi there Kalio1,
  I dunno about asking for that now as he may want me to get into specific if i ask about antidepressant...but i will as, and see what happens, just hate popping more pills, im already on 1200 (6 tablets a day)...and in answer to ur question i do tell em that i have a low tolerance with behaviour, but u know how young teens and younger kids can be... Can be hard at times, just dont want it to get to the point where i get locked in a hospital lol...

[SnoWav]

My doc wanted to pass out the anti depresents like candy,I just mentioned I was feeling a little on edge but I diden't need any if anything the TX mellowed me out some .Rasing 4 kids alone wow We raised 5 but are a super tight family, for sure Im counting my blessings.Good luck and hang loose there is nothing more important than family.

[Paris47]

There was a hep c letter 'way back' that I printed copies,
sent them to my family so they could understand me, and what
I was going through. Every time I get close to over-reacting,
(almost daily) I remind myself of that letter. And additional
meds are helpful, at least for me they help, doesn't cure my
mood swings but helps to make them less drastic. Haven't broken
any furniture since week 1 of tx, & I am on week 11.
good luck.

[goldyn]

I have 5kids myself and i know how hard it can be , im on ativan its not an ad so you can take it when you just need to mellow out it also helps you sleep too.....

[FlGuy]

Don, I'll say it again, writing should be you occupation. As for noggin location, yours is clearly no where near the rear.

[lilmoma]

Hey, I know EXACTLY what your talking about.
Gosh I feel like my reputation may never be the same with people at work, they have really witnessed me "go off"
I did call my nurse, she called in some AD for me, but whew!!!!!! I cannot take that junk!!! I had a doc appt so we talked about it, and decided that AD will not be for me, so instead he prescribed some "anxiety" stuff, you know, to take that EDGE off,.....so far, it is helping, nothing is gonna make me like I was, except to be done with tx but that is gonna be awhile yet I do shot 15/48 tonight.
I hope this helps you, ADs are NOT for everyone, and your doc can help you make good choices.
I got alot emotional support from this forum while I was going beserk,....alot of good people.
lilmoma

[Alady1620]

Are you on antidepressants?  If not, you need to get on them.  Not just for your own sake but for your children.  Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor about this.  He can help you.

Do you have any relatives or friends that can babysit for you on your worst days?  If no, maybe you should find a nanny.  You have your plate full right now.  

[Mister beagle bailey]

Hi,

You come from a beautiful country, hang in there things will get better.  There's so many ups and down, but just look at it that it's one shot closer to the end.  Have a good night.

BEAGLE

[friole]

shadow -- lets see (1) tx (2) 4 kids (3) single parenting (4) did you say teenagers (???)
Any one of those things could just throw me over the edge.  My hubby and I used to kid each other and say, as mad as we got with each other, we didn't dislike each other enough to leave the other with the kids (taking them was not the option!).  Having 3 kids with mental problems, I had mucho experience with anti depressants and must say they do help.  Please consider them.  
----Please Vent Here----

snowave -- How are you??? Someone posted that you had replapsed, but if you ever posted, I missed it. I had admired how you kept up your excercise and spirit thru tx, and have wondered how you were?  If you have relasped, I am so very sorry.  I cannot imagine how depressing that would be. Please post,
Kathy

[commanderinchief]

Hi all you good people. I just am finishing my first week on peg-intro/ribavirin today and just need to find people who share this thing we want to rid our bodies of. I've read a lot of the postings and have come realize things will get worse for me before they get any better.
One thing my PA said was she would put me on a low dosage AD because the seratonin is depleted by the treatment.
I also have been getting regular headaches tho mild so far and more sensitive as well. Haven't gone off on anyone (yet). Lucky for my family, I live in another state but I still see them regularly. My youngest son is 19 and has seen his girlfriends mom go through the full 48 weeks of treatment. Hard to get much info on how she's done except to say she slept a lot. Sounds like depression to me.
I'm also having a hard time dealing with the secrecy I keep about my condition. I want to tell others but fear I would be treated like a lepper. I'm afraid to start a relationship with anyone as well. How do you tell someone you'd like to get to know better that you have Hep-C and in treatment?
There is such a stigma attached to this, it's no wonder we don't become more snappy without being treated. I know there is a certain % of people in treatment who comitted suicide. I wonder if there is also a % of homicides as well? Anyone know?

[jmjm530]

<I want to tell others but fear I would be treated like a lepper.

You could be. Personally, I've only told two relatives and two close friends. I haven't heard from one of those friends since the fifth week of treatment when things got bad with my side effects. Sometimes healthy folks just can't deal with sick folks for whatever reasons. I'm self-employed so no one to tell there, but others have had problems after disclosing things at  work, so think hard before telling a co-worker. On the other hand, if side effects get bad, you may have no choice, since your performance may need an explanation, at least to your boss. Tricky. Others, have had more positive experiences and I'm sure they will chime in.

<<I'm afraid to start a relationship with anyone as well. How do you tell someone you'd like to get to know better that you have Hep-C and in treatment?

From personal experience, I'd suggest take any relationship you think might go somewhere a lot slower than maybe you did in the past.

That way, by the time the need to disclose comes up, you've already formed a bond with the other person and probably can talk things through a lot better, including the explanation that this is not considered a sexually communicable disease, and any steps you might want to take including using condoms.

My understanding is that you're under no obligation to tell anyone -- including someone your're having sex with -- especially if you use a condom. Still, I could understand someone getting really pissed off at you if they find out after the fact. That could end up being a deal breaker.

And truthfully, in this day and age with all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases, discretion with sexual partners and use of condoms is probably a good idea hep c or not.

BTW I was in no shape to date during treatment but hopefully you'll fare better than me. Meanwhile, you've got a lot on your plate since you've just started so don't try and worry about too many things. Hopefully, you'll clear this virus and the whole disclosure issue will become academic because you won't have it any more.

All the best.

-- Jim

[FlGuy]

"One thing my PA said was she would put me on a low dosage AD because the seratonin is depleted by the treatment"

That's somehting tha I haven't heard before, but it makes sense. Maybe also related to sleep issues???

[Mister beagle bailey]

WELCOME to the forum, MR. PRESIDENT. (always wanted to say that)

I have told only my closes family and friends about having hep C.  Your right, you don't know how people will react.
You will have all the support you need here with people who care.

BEAGLE :)

[friole]

greetings and welcome to the forum.  THings may get worse, as you have suggested, but they may not be too bad.  I am on week 44 and things haven't been too bad. You mentioned your son's girlfriend's mother and the sleeping.  I don't think that is depression but rather anemia.  This is something you need to watch for because about 40% of us get it.  The ribavivin destroys red blood cells and they can't carry the oxygen necessary.  The indicator of this oxygen in the blood is the hemoglobin - shown as HGB on the CBC.  The normal range is between 14-18 and it is not uncommon at all to drop to 10 or 11, and many times lower.  The old standard of caare was to reduce the ribavirin dose, but that can lead to reduced chance to clear the virus, so another drug can be introduced to increase red blood cell production.It wuld be a good idea to ask your doctor if he will prescribe these "rescue" drugs if you need them.

I have not told very many people I have hep C because of the stigma attached.  It is a very personal choice.  I admire those who are open, but that was not my choice.  
Good luck

[shadoww]

Hi again,

       Just wanna begin by thanking everyone for sharring their experiences with me/us. It's great to know that i'm not alone, well not wishing or being pleased  that ya'll have hep c and going through the same sh!t as I. Just glad that i can come here and just tell u the truth and know that u ppl have been there and done that... and know what ya'll are talking about makes me feel better about it.
            thnx guys
            God Bless ya!

PS; LILMOMA, we share the same number of shots, lol...it's Friday here in Australia, and tonight before i hit the sack, well, i need to inject myslef 15/48...one would think seeing i basically went through 360mcg/1 for the first 12 shots the pagassy 180 would be a breeze, i dont think it works like that..

oh, as for talking to my 15, 13, 11yr old daughter's my strange behaviour and why i get on da rag, mind my French, well been there done that...my son is like 9 so he behaves himself, but kids will always be kids
       bless them all

[NYgirl]

One of the unfortunate side effects of the RIBAVIRIN is something that we call Riba-Rage in here.  Snapping (and that's putting it NICELY) on loved ones is the biggest symptom if you ask me.  Why I was just HORRIBLE...it was like I would just FREAK OUT and go "why are you breathing so loud?" or some other dumb thing that made NO sense to be yelling about.

One of the best things I did on treatment was to have a group talk with my family and explain about this riba rage I might experience.  Now when I start to go nuts for no apparent reason they have the ability to laugh and walk away and know it's nothing personal at all.

I am on Paxill and it's helped me GREATLY. I can't imagine ANYONE trying to make it through treatment without a good antidepressant. The interferon DOES affect us.

So that is two out of two meds that will cause these problems.  Know that you are NOT alone in this and that we understand.

Talk to the doctor and see what he will do to help.  Most doctors want to alleviate all the side effects as much as they can.

Best of luck.

[shadoww]

hi there all again,
  Forgive the slowness in response it been absolutely crazy here. I convinced one of my 2 older daughters to take one day off a week to get their hair completely changed and coloured, lol. Other one followed suit right after school of course, meaning i had to spend another bloody 2 hrs sitting in a girly hair salloon...but made me feel good, now whenever i feel down in the dumps i can look at what made me a lil happy" their sexy hair" lol.....
   Today is like Saturday morning here, and im prolly like 20 questions or w/e down this list and i might not even be noticed, but i had to respond to (hippygem), and thank the rest of u for being there...
              bless ya all!

PS; In answer to your question "hippygem" I'm from Sydney Australia, came to this country when i was like 2 from Italy, 36 years afo, seperated with the 4 kids and have been for 3 years if not more "not complaining" as u well know the system here look after single parents, blah blah.  Ive had hep c geno type1a for 14 years with a vile count of 269,000..12weeks into my shots( the 360mcg shats) i was cleared....what treatment are u are, and how long have ya had hepc, assuming u have?

thnx, all the best M8

[shadoww]

i meant 1 day off school, not a week...lol
but u prolly already figured that out, perhaps i should re-read before i hit enter, but heyyy i took my 15th shot last night... woke up early and its still early and im experiencing a brain fart, well actually im feeling speedy a lil in my thought, pattern of thing, weird, lemme tell ya...k, im off and gonna read the rest of the forum ...
byesss