getting too hard

[audreywald]

Tomorrow will be shot #6.

It is getting so hard to go through this. I feel like giving up. Sick all the time, it is a big deal if I can walk around the block. Every week it is more doctors and more sides. I am getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Does anyone else ever want to give up?

[britpeter]

I actually do mine on Mondays so you are a day ahead of me, likewise I have not had such a bad reaction this week and even listened myself to "Don't Give up" yesterday. Stay positive, I am sure it helps.....

[audreywald]

Thanks, I just saw your post. We both did number six on Sunday, and I am not too bad today, how about you? I actually did some cardio excercise, makes me feel almost human again!

We MUST remember it is not horrible all of the time!!!

[cuteus]

I began with 376,000 iu vl 6 months ago, at 11 &1/2 weeks was 5,700.  not a 2log drop but close, i guess.  I am now cleared at the 26 wk mark.  I would have been discontinued if not cleared at 24 wk.  Geno 1 is tough, if his Insurance will pay, maybe the doc will go for it.

Good luck

[britpeter]

I tried 2 post yesterday but it was full. I have just injected #6, & I said yesterday and I'll say again DON'T GIVE UP! In fact the song of that title by Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush may well give you some extra strength to carry on. Don't forget mission....." SLAY THE DRAGON."

[scruffy]

As you probably know they look for at least a 2log drop in viral load after 12 weeks of treatment. Hope is not lost however because maybe they will suggest an alternate dosage or drug combo and if your hubby can afford to wait they are working hard to come up with better treatment. I wish you and your hubby well.

[audreywald]

We are on exactly the same schedule, Brit. I did number 6 last night, and so far so good. We need to remember that not every minute of every day is terrible. There ARE times I feel almost normal..

Chevygal, my dreams have gotten VERY interesting. Some of them are downright enjoyable, maybe is it the hidden part of the mind that takes me to fun places I cannot visit right now.

Also I dream of my dad a lot, (who has been gone 18 years) and I am quite sure he is coming to my dreams so much to give me comfort.

[DownThisRoad]

Week 6?  You can't give up at week 6, you've only just begun.  You can't give up at anytime during your treatment.  Remember, you started out to treatment your disease and give the medicines a fair chance to clear this virus for you. Right?

Yes, I for one have thought of 'giving up' many times during my treatment.  I am on week 42/48 and looking at an extension of 6-8 weeks once my 48 weeks is here.  I have to remember that I am treating and started this treatment in order to rid myself of this disease.  I would NEVER stop this medicine, no matter how wierd or hard it gets.

I want to treat, to get rid of my illness.  Hang in there, it gets better and it gets worse.

[audreywald]

DonL - good suggestion, in the light of day I can think more clearly.

Brit - tomorrow is number 6 for me too! What time do you do it?

Edgar, as always, you make sense. My own riba reaction is not a fun think to expreience.

CommDude - thanks.

Cindee - I LOVE that poem, and it is perfect for right now, for all of us on tx, this is HARD stuff. Quitting is out of the question before the 12 weeks. Having come this far it would be horrendous to stop before we know if we are responding.

Everyone:  thank you again, I would find this so much harder without all of you.

Audrey

[audreywald]

It's cool.  In the light of day it does not seem like such a big deal.

[honey1616]

Oh yeah I can see where raheem is coming from as alot of times people don't realize about the thread situation.  And also at times making a gesture or comment in writing can sometimes seem harsh when it was never meant to be.

[mrBenny]

raheem, I've been reading this board since August (last two months of tx torture), and I have a sense of some of the personalities here.  You're a laid-back, levelheaded guy, and placing your comment in that context makes it seem quite innocuous to me.  

I don't think there was a bad guy here.  Audrey wasn't being malicious in any way, but she got a lot of support, so I thought I'd even it up a little and throw some your way.

[Teres]

Glad to hear that you're feeling better. Stay with it, as many of us all do. The light at the end of the tunnel gets closer and closer. If you need to talk, you can try me at teres_perez***@**** . I don't check it that often, but if I know that people are writing, I will have a reason to do so.

[Tony-z]

Just remmember all, that while on TX many times we can't see the forest through the trees......................


              Tony

[DonL]

Audrey - don't worry about it. At 6 questions and 50 responses, we have 300 posts per day. As long as all of us are aware of our limited resources, the point is to use all of these to get and give help. You need two posts, you take two posts; you feel you can piggyback on another post, do it. We rarely fill up, but we do run out of questions on a nearly daily basis and everyone is used to searching the existing questions for other threads. (When I piggyback on a thread, I put the topic in the Comment to box to make it stand out. No has complained, so I assume that people don't mind.)

Raheem, I understand why you mentioned it. It is hard to remind people of these things without sounding like you're coming on like the board police. From time to time, I have contemplated posting complaints about all CAPS (STOP SHOUTING AT ME!), spelling and syntax so bad that I can't turn it into English, and one giant paragraph that I can barely read, but I haven't been able to figure out how to mention it without coming on too strong (that is, until now). (I am a professional writer so these things are to me what "hammer dimples" in a board are to a carpenter or lumps in a sauce are to a chef. However, not everyone cares as much as I do.)

There's too much ribavarin floating around and too many frayed nerves. This is one large community with a lot of different personalities and all of us (even me) have to relax a little more than normal.

So, is there any way we can make suggestions to people without coming on too strong? I suggest prefacing it with something like "A gentle reminder--think about this because..."

[BD146]

HI AUDREY..... STOP ANTICIPATING HOW HARD AND DIFFICULT THIS IS ALL GOING TO BE....WE REALLY DON'T KNOW....ALSO THESE TEST ARE VERY IMPORTANT.....I HAVE HAD ALL OF THESE TESTS AND REALIZED AFTERWARDS THAT THEY WEREN'T AS DIFFICULT AS I HAD PREDICTED....WE COULD BE LIVING IN A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY WHERE ASPIRINS ARE CONSIDERED A LUXURY....THESE TEST ARE FOR OUR WELL BEING AND NO ONE ELSE'S....DO IT FOR YOU... DO IT FOR GENE...DO IT FOR LUCAS...IT'S A WISE INVESTMENT....

AS FAR AS BABY PICTURES ARE CONCERNED.... THAT'S OK TOO....YOU WILL HAVE YOUR SHARE OF PICTURES IN THE FUTURE....DON

[britpeter]

I've got #6 tomorrow. The last fortnight has been increasingly difficult 4 me too but like nearly all the others say.........DON'T GIVE UP...in fact you may even find the song of that title by Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush to be inspiring as well as helping you have the strength to carry on. Don't lose sight of the mission; To slay the dragon!

[berlynn]

I can't believe that it is almost 2AM and I should be trying to sleep...but I'm sitting here stuffing Vanilla Meringue cookies down like there's no tomorrow...and I've only gotten thru 2 threads....no wonder I can't keep up with y'all.LOL>>>> berlynn

[berlynn]

..."seriously goofy" .....both at the same time/??/isn't that like  "jumbo shrimp".....LOL

[berlynn]

Again today

[Commdude]

Meant the first half of the previous post or Raheem.   Could be the the ole reba rage kicking in?   Sometimes, the most trivial things can set people off...even at this site.  Whew..and there have been heated debates here at one time or another...some of which wound up pretty hilarious after reading through the complete threads.

Everyone's been known to do that....except for seriously goofy people like Indiana...

Have a nice day!

[Commdude]

So did you have a question out of the six per that are allowed per day that you did not have an opportunity to ask?  Doesn't seem as though you did.

Chill out, man.  Board police are OK, but c'mon...her topics were unrelated.  

If you are not so harsh on people, it might make it better for you if you seek advice on this board as well.

Tomorrow's another day....and then as such  another opportunity for you to begin a new thread.

Audrey...hang in there.

We all go through, and have gone some rough times during TX. The side effects come and go.   Even a week from now, you might feel on top of the world....then the next week something else pops up.    The meds do some strange things to us mentally and physically, but it does get better, especially when it's all over.  

Like climbing a mountain, one foot in front of the other.

[cindee]

I'm sorry to ear you are having a tough time. I had a horrible time on tx. OH I WANTED TO STOP MANY TIMES. There were times when I wanted to take all my meds and put them on the bricks outside and just stomp them! You've got to fight this nasty 'ole dragon with all you have!!!! Here's something I kept by my side the whole time. I hope it will help you.
DON'T QUIT
WHEN THINGS GO WRONG AS THEY SOMETIMES WILL, WHEN THE ROAD YOU'RE TRUDGING SEEMS ALL UPHILL, WHEN THE FUNDS ARE LOW, AND THE DEBTS ARE HIGH, AND YOU WANT TO SMILE, BUT YOU HAVE TO SIGH, WHEN CARE IS PRESSING YOU DOWN A BIT, REST IF YOU MUST, BUT DON'T YOU "QUIT".
LIFE IS HARD WITH ITS TWISTS AND TURNS, AS EVERYONE OF US SOMETIMES LEARNS, AND MANY A "FAILURE" TURNS ABOUT, WHEN HE MIGHT HAVE "WON" HAD HE STUCK IT OUT; DON'T GIVE UP THOUGH THE PACE SEEMS SLOW, YOU MAY SUCCEED WITH ANOTHER BLOW.
SUCCESS IS FAILURE TURNED INSIDE OUT, THE SILVER TINT OF THE CLOUDS OF DOUBT, AND YOU CAN NEVER TELL HOW "CLOSE" YOU ARE, "IT MAY BE NEAR WHEN IT SEEMS SO FAR"; SO STICK TO THE FIGHT WHEN YOU'RE HARDEST HIT, IT'S WHEN THINGS SEEM WORST
>>>>>>>>>>THAT YOU MUST NOT QUIT<<<<<<<<< PRAYERS, Cindee

[audreywald]

When do you start? I will send extra good thoughts to you. Your warmth and kindness means so much to me. I hope you let me be there for you when you need it.

Love,  Audrey

[audreywald]

Thanks. What day do you do your shot? Mine is tomorrow. I am a little extra freaked because it is my dear friends birthday and I forgot, I had it on my calendar but forgot to lokk at it. AND she had ovarian cancer 2 years ago and now they found precancerous cells in her cervix or uterus.

My husband built her a nice computer, we were going to sell it to her really cheap, but I think now we will give it to her as a birthday gift.

I want so much to be a good friend to the people in my life but sometimes it's even hard to remember basic stuff lately; like remembering my antidepressant in the am with my riba. I guess this must be brain fog.

Is anyone becoming majorly sensitive and kinda down?