having days where I feel so angry

[Sunny37]

I am in awe how fast my anger and frustratons and short temperedness has hit me...I wakeup fine in morning and once I take my 3 riba  feel like my brain is short circuting and I get pain in my neck and head feels funny and I am aware of this but can't control it. The sad part is my husband isn't understanding the toll this is taking on me....on week 17 of 24 and am at a loss what to do.....its so frustrating....both the doctor andnurse have tried to explain to my husband this can happen but he just doesn't get it,......I almost feel like quitting because I am tired of felling crazy and wanting to be by myself!! Any suggestions? or just perservere and hope I have a marriage left.

[JodyLynn]

One word PROZAC...ive taken many things and for anger and frustratons prozac is the one to take, trust me.

[Mr Liver]

It's next to impossible for someone to visualize and empathize to any degree close to what the reality of tx can be like. They can try hard, bless them. But they'll never know the depth or level of all of the possible combined sides. Anger and extreme irritability can be signs of depression and in this setting they usually are. Interferon can cause chemical changes very rapidly in the brain. Things will be said that are never meant to be. You have to be careful with letting the situation worsen. I apologized to my S.O. more in one year than I had in all the years together (30). I definitely could have been on a higher dose of AD. Apologies and excuses only go so far. Affter awhile it is hard for the other spouse not to start to take it personally. You probably wouldn't be surprised that this therapy has broken up long marriages and relationships over the years. One of the few drug regimens where the partner or caregiver can have a rougher time mentally and physically than the patient. You have to eliminate the anger as best you can. Get together with your prescribing doctor on the issue and see where to go from there. Some need higher doses of AD and some need a wholesale change to a different AD. Or add it all to the mix.  Outbursts of anger, being overly-critical,complaining, etc, are nothing new to tx. But I would stop short of calling it normal. It is the natural result of IFN, but usually if dosed properly with AD it becomes a much easier symptom to handle. If this was done currently on a higher percentage basis there would be many fewer discontinuations of therapy cases. The result will be that more would go on to possible SVR. Mental problems account for one-third of all discontinuation of therapy. So you must always watch your mood closely.

Best regards,
Mr Liver

[meki]

He can't get "it" unless he's been through 'it'.

Just like trying to tell someone what this chemotherapy is like... It's impossible - they have to have experienced it.

So try to remember that... He can only comprehend so much.

And --- what you're feeling is normal..

Ask your doc for XANAX --- Lorazepam - or an SSRI...

They help tremendously!

Good luck --- keep watching comedies - especially STUPID ones....

Write a blog or a journal.

(http://www.blogspot.com) is an excellent blogger and easy to use.

Just hang in there --- 7 more weeks only to go.

Hugs,

Meki
Ps. We do understand.... LOL! Been there - done that.

[Terrylee8]

I too am 17 weeks into treatment and I take 40 mgs of Prozac.  It has been my savior.  
When people ask me what it's like when I say I have "chemo head" I tell them that I feel like I'm at the bottom of a swimming pool and very tired and that I have drank a cup of bleach.  That works for the physical part, they can never understgand the mental sides without experiencing it.  Ask you husband to post a request for how we are all feeling and we'll set him good and straight.

[hitherdither]

This is what my husband is most worried about. And it didn't help that the nurse practioner told us that some couples choose to separate during tx.  He's really worried about that. I myself would never leave my husband when this will be the worst thing he'll go through. We've been through alot together over the years anyway.

I'm having problems right now. I'm obsessed with all this I think. I'm on the computer a lot trying to gather info on the Hep C. I can't sleep at night worrying and I'm always on this site looking for new things and hope.  And, I've gone to other sites and some of it is pretty scary.  My husband is going on about life telling me to stop worrying.  I'm the worrier tho. It's in my nature which really drives him crazy.

[moahunter]

It's hard with family, this drug almost seems to just exagerate your worst traits, especially for me, iratibility. It is difficult for them to understand this is not me, it is the drug.

Before jumping to anti-depressants though, you may want to try a sleeping pill. I found in my case the anger was linked to not getting good sleeping (waking up at all hours of the night, etc).   For me, just taking a pill one night a week on the night of the injection has helped me a lot. Less invasive than an anti-depressant, so maybe worth trying first.

[darcar]

hi ...
my bf of two years is on tx for the two years i know him.
i never knew him off tx!!
i ask..what is he like off of it?? he says ...much more energetic..more driven..
much less sleepy....much less moody.
i think the nurse practitioner was out of line even to suggest that some couples seperate during tx...without telling you to do so..she sounds like it was suggestive on her part to do so.
I say HD to try to relax...trust the docs..trust the people here as well...they seem to know better than the docs! lol  ...hey...they are experiencing it all firsthand..and that is why i brought my questions here too...nobody knows better than people who have been or are going thru it themselvses.
even the docs/ nurses...cant really comprehend what it is to actually go thru tx..if they havent themselves .
I ask my questions here because these people can understand it better than i ever will.
When i first started dating my guy...i was worried too..but not much anymore even though he has an advanced case of liver disease./ cirrhosis.
He seems to know how to take good care of himself now..gets the rest..eats good..
just doesnt push himself beyond what he can / cant do.
In some ways...he looks healthier than me! lol
Only now and then i get a little panicked such as recently we found out he had very high triglycerides and that was new and i worried if it was a sign of something getting worse.
we just sort of go with the flow...the ups and downs..the rollercoaster of tx.
Some people might not be able to stay together thru tx...its individual..
Just do what feels best and right for you and your husband.
Take it a day at a time.

[darcar]

and hey...
SOME PEOPLE DONT STAY TOGETHER WHEN THEY ARE GOING THRU TREATMENT...BUT ALOT OF PEOPLE DONT STAY TOGETHER AND THEY ARE NOT EVEN ON TREATMENT! LOL
ITS CALLED LIFE!
LIVE AND LET LIVE.

[hitherdither]

Lol darcar. I know what you mean. I'm not worried about that part of it myself. It was a little offending that she would tell me something like that not really knowing us, having only met that one time.  I will take it with a grain of salt.  Right now I'm keeping the panic at a level. Just comes and goes.  I commend you for staying with your boyfriend. Not too many people would do that.  My husband and I've been through alot over the years.  We've been together about 14 years and just got married 2 1/2 years ago.  During the years we've been together his son was electricuted and lost both legs and was burned pretty badly. That was a battle in itself and we've had our bad times but we are still together and I would never leave him.  I've had people...shallow people...tell me they would never go through with a person what I've gone through.  Guess they don't really know what real love feels like, huh?

[darcar]

IF there is one thing drives me crazy is people trying or implying telling me what to do with my life.
im a grown woman and i know my choices and i make them...
yes..i have people say they would never do this or that..things that i do or have done..
but its my life..my choice. right?
same for you HD...just trust your own gut instincts and drown out the "noise" of people like that nurse practitioner.
my guy is lucky to have me and yet i feel lucky to have him..so i guess we are lucky to have each other ! lol
he is a handful...but yet the funniest man ive ever known.with a big heart of gold.
i take it one day at a time...living and let live.
to each his own and to thine own self be true.
You and your  husband sound very tight and have indeed already weathered alot of difficulties.
and i know you will get thru this together too.
Keep the Faith..
love
Darcar

[Liz50]

I can so completely relate to your situation--in a flipped version. My hubby is on tx and he is the one with the anger probs & horrible mood swings. He takes it all out on me, so the comment about divorces, separations being common really hit the nail--although I love this man and am in this marriage for the long haul--the daily outbursts, the mood swings & most of all the anger just wear me OUT. Understanding that it's not "him" is helpful, but at some point it just doesnt make on iota of difference. The things he says and does are so painful. I cry most every day and not because he's so sick, but because he's so mean and doesn't even see it.
But, then , in the last 20 monhs we've faced Liver Cancer, the tests to be listed as a transplant patient, the surgery (after a 10 month wait) the recovery, a hospital borne infection that nearly killed him, recovery from that, and then the return of the Hepc. Anybody would be depressed. I sure am. So since he won't go on anything I am adding another AD to my current one, hoping that will help me cope better. Also, I have to take antianxiety meds before he comes home each day--just to handle what may come. My whole life has revolved around his comfort and health for so long..... don't even remember what he used to be like. Sad, I think I liked him once. I'll always love him, but  there are days....

[hitherdither]

Liz I haven't gone through this yet. I'm only anticipating but I'm sure we'll be able to relate. My husband is really and easy going kind of person by nature and I'm wondering if that makes a difference?  He never says anything to hurt me and he's always had tons of patience.

I'm sorry you're going through this and sounds like you've been through alot too.  How long have you been married?

Is it the pills or the shots that make them like that?

[Sunny37]

Thanks so much for your comments and kind words I can't begin to tell you how it feels to know that I am not in this alone!!! If I didn't have this site and your words of wisdom I would be truly lost :) I am sorry that any of us has to go through this .....but I guess the end is in site and will try to hand on till the end.....you are all so kind and hope your situations stay managable as well :) Its funny Liz .....I CANNOT imagine my husband on tx.....we really would get a divorce :).....just kidding.....he is just alot less patient than I and I'm finding this difficult :)
Terry lee.....what genotype are you? have you found this manageable?
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart!!!

[Terrylee8]

I'm Genotype 1, txing for 48 weeks.  It's been managable so far.  This week has been the worst yet.  I am retired and I don't work and I take prozac so it's doable.  I think that those who work on tx are a special breed for sure. I don't like tx but I can do it.

[darcar]

hi all..
my Bf is by nature from what he told me ...very hyper  and type A to begin with ! lol
and of course, not mr patience ..and im sure his irritability/ anger was there on a lower level too..
but with the tx ..the riba rage..the interferon interference   ...its worse..according to him.
he can be fine and then just snap!
like i said..he doesnt direct at me...but i am not happy to be around him raging or ranting about this bs or that....and its always something or other.
i also told him i dont want to be around his cursing and swearing, and to zip it .
he has actually gotten better with that at least when im around! lol
i think that was more habit than anything else.
yes.im glad to see that there are others here too who can relate to it.
i have not even told my family what he has because i think they would freak and imagine its like he has some disease he should be quarantined.
they just think he has liver problems from drinking too much...i didnt tell them bout the HepC.
i keep that private for MY peace of mind ..i tell them what i want and dont want..for my own benefit.
not all people are as open minded .
as for is it the pills or the shots that affect the moods...from what they tell me on here..its BOTH.
i can imagine if i were going thru this ..id be miserable , cranky, bitchy and not too easy to be around either.
the moods while they are not abusive to me..are understandable.
just my experience.
hugs,
darcar

[JodyLynn]

I'm so glad i'm divorced lol.

[Liz50]

My hubby by nature is a real type A--but also very laid back about a lot of stuff. At least, from what I can remember, the last couple of years have been pretty weird. He is always telling me to "calm down",  "chill out", "get over it"---and then he gets a migraine on this stuff (I've had them my whole life) and he is freaking out. I just never know who he is going to be. My daughter taught 1st grade & she is going to make me a chart where he can come in each night & out up a face on a chart to indicate his mood. She said it worked well with 6 year olds. LOL
I'm about out of patience and steam.....I know this week he plans to insist that one of the Hep docs see him even tho his next clinic isn't until November. At that time I really hope he addresses the issues of depression & rage and don't just gloss over it like they usually do.

[Sunny37]

All I can say if I do say so myself .....I am normally the most laid back person you will ever meet....this particular side effect has surfaced over the past 2 weeks...not really nice to deal with :) I can't imagine what this does to someone who has anger issues to begin with. I have to really talk to myself sometimes and remind myself I am not acting normally (for me anyways)  its a tough battle.

[hondapatches]

My hubby has been through this now for the 3rd time, he doesn't understand it either.
He thinks I'm supposed to run around and keep up with everything. Some men are in denial they really don't want to think that you are sick.
But I tell you they have always put me on 37.5 mg Effexor and I tell you what it is a great boost for me. I also take ambien at night for sleep. I have always taken the ambien but the Effoxor only while on tx. The last two times it has saved my sanity. I couldn't do it without it. My son is 16 he has hcv also and he has been very rebillious. Now he is in a juvenile place called Harris County Youth Village, and my daughter 27 is a brittle diabetic. She just went into a sezure this morning, and I couldn't go to her because of this tx. They took her to the emergency room. So believe me I would be in a rubber room if I didn't just let things roll off my back, take my effexor and leave the rest to the lord.
Live, Love, Laugh
Patches

[meki]

Sunny - just remember journal your progression... every day, if you can.

Anger is often just another step in understanding this disease within ourselves.

I mean - seriously you are taking a treatment which affects your quality of life --- and you won't know if it will work until AFTER you're done with it --- and it has caused all sorts of problems for you.

Anger is sometimes justified.

But ---- laughter helps combat anger... Even anger caused by this medication.

Know that you're not the first and not the last going through this tho...lots of sweet, wonderful people are going through it... I mean - ANDIAMO also is going through it ---- he keeps saying he doesn't understand why his wife is putting up with him... So -- it's not just you.

You'll be ok - it just takes some time, some modification and some stupid silly movies to keep you rolling through... whatever you can watch. I suggested Kung Fu Hustle on LadyWhy's movie list - go take a look at that list... and maybe add a few of your favorite belly laughers.


Hugs to you sweet thang --- keep holding your chin up --- even if you feel like boxing everyone's ears! LOL!
Meki

[shastri20032003]

I have finished 24 weeks of SOC for geno 10a=3....but the sense of irritability is lingering on in  in my head 2 weeks after tx..I still get quickly irritated
Before tx I was a short tempered guy..but tx seems to have made it worse though I have tried my best to control it
My 11 year old sometimes fails to understand why her  Dad acts the way he does but I had the sense to precaution her about it before I started tx
Luckily I had precautioned  my staff at work about the same  otherwise they would have left me in a days time after starting tx!