Hi everyone By now most of you know Audrey has stopped treatment I am happy for her but sad for me She was my rock and now i sit here crying because i don't know anyone else. Audrey has promised to be there but I know once treatment stops you try to forget for awhile that you have this horrible dragon I had to stop tx last year after attemting suicide and then tried to get to my guns when it didn't work. I am on week six and am doing ok except for the small bout of pnuemonia. I am not suicidal or depressed but i really don't have anyone who undersstands what we go through i have 5 kids still at home and they all have thrie own problems because they are teenagers and don't care about anything else lol my husband trys to understand but when he sees me doing most of the normal thuings that a mom has to do he doesn't realize the pain I'm in and probably never will. You know what I'm going thruogh and GOD knows i need help sorry if it sounds like i'm a baby but this is the only way i have to vent Audrey and i corresponded everyday and i am going to miss that so please help me get through this
Sorry to butt in...This is a reply to the following post on a previous closed topic:
Sorry to get off topic, but does anyone have any information on the probabilities for SVR if test results show undetectable virus at week 12.
I suspect that the odds jump dramatically but I haven't seen any statistics that isolate on the success/relapse rates for people who are undetectable early in treatment.
I have a couple. The first link will take you to an excellent flash presentation at Medscape. You do have to sign up first to see it, but it's worth viewing. I give it 5 stars for content and a .10 for entertainment value, but you'll get your questions answered....
I've included a few more that I've saved my favorites.
I put this one (the flash) in tinyurl format 'cause it's really long. Hope you can link to it.
<a href = "http://tinyurl.com/2kwzp">Flash Presentation</a><br>
If you can't get to the site, or don't feel like signing up, <a href = "http://images.medscape.com/pi/editorial/cmecircle/2003/2234/trepo/slide10.gif">here </a> is the link to a success chart.
<a href = "http://hepcvets.com/info/2003/sept/hepcinfo645.pdf">EVR from HepVets</a><br> is another great link.
I am not going away. I still have hep C; and I have hep C with symptoms. That is why I went on the meds in the first place. A lot of what I have experienced on tx is what I was living with anyway, tx made it worse.
Hep C has made me unable to work. I also do not know from one day to the next how I am going to feel. I change plans a lot. I need a few hours every day to just rest, and this is pre treatment. I lost my last job becaue I became too ill to show up everyday.
Hep C is indeed a dragon. The symptoms I live with and will probably have to continue to live with have crippled my life. I am going to live the best life I can, but it will not be what I hoped for. It will probably always be limited.
ANYONE who has a chance of this or worse not happening to them needs to fight. I will continue to fight. I will always know what it is like to live with a chronic and limiting disease, and I hope to always offer my love and friendship to you.
So, please believe me when I say that we are still fighting the same battle. You are younger than I am and I do not want you to ever have to get to where I am.
Yes it hard enough to deal with all this tx stuff and with 5 teenagers-WOW- I really don't know what to say about that situation. I have (1)16 year old (and he is a good kid), football team, weight lifter and does well in school and he still bugs the heck out me- little things like stuffing wet towels under his bed, putting his dirty clothes behind his TV, sticking gum under his PC chair ect. ect. It's really nothing but when your on all these meds, feeling like(you know), little things become big things. All you can do is just keep telling yourself this will soon be over, and it will. If your religious put it in God's hands and Pray, have Faith and you'll be fine. I go to Church every Sunday, I'll say a prayer for you Sunday at Church. Are you on AD's, if not you "SHOULD" be. It won't be a miracle cure it just sort of makes things a little easier to handle and deal with when you are on AD's. If I had 5 teenagers living here I would be on Qualudes. Good Luck, Don't give up, we are always here to talk to, try to make you smile, and give you a shoulder to lean when you need it. But most of all don't give up- Good Luck-- Harley Dude
BULLSHIT!! You DO have friends here. You can ALWAYS post "Anything" you want to here.....There are MANY here who are always willing to help you with whatever the problem is.
You have MY E-Mail address now. Do NOT be afraid to write me .....Not EVER. The whole reason I stay around is to help YOU...and folks like you. You can write me anytime. I also take phone calls if needed. I have helped a LOT of people get through this stuff on a personal basis. I am done but I ain't gone.....not yet.
I am around all the time....hovering in the outskirts. You see me on your IM screen. Holler at me anytime you want to.
You are NOT alone sweetie. I know what it's like.
Well if you don't know anyone Hi I am Layla. Now you know me! It must be very rough on you right now. The people here are great and can be an invaluable source of support. It does help to talk about things with other who can share your first hand knowledge of this desease. With 5 children and a husband you are still having to do allot. I have a rough time with just my hubby around at times so imagining 6 to care for is almost exhausting. I hope your staying in close contact with your doc in regards keeping a watch for depression. I also hope we see you around more often. As you see Audrey is staying (yipee!)but I am sure everyone here will be there for you if you need it. LL
You did the right thing in reaching out.
Remember that going through tx alone is a choice.
I am glad that you are asking for help. That is one of the first and most important steps.
And no, Audrey will not abandon you. That is not her style.
Never hold anything inside. Let it out and let it go.
There will always be someone at this forum who will be able to identify with your feelings who may just have the answer.
But you must give us the chance to be here for you.
God bless you and your family.
You are in my prayers....Edgar
I am new was a little bummed to hear Audrey had to stop treatments. I have been reading this forum and am familar with what is going on. I don't know all her circumstances but I understand what a hard decision that had to be. I am 4/24 and doing pretty well. I understand your depression and I also need support and can be your support. Everyone here is so kind (most of the time) LOL And so honest. I need that because we need people not afraid to tell us straight up when its a matter of life or death. I have fatique. However, I had fatique before the treatments. I took naps daily. It is worse now of course, but I am still working. I don't work full time. I have 3 jobs that I do some from home and some from other offices. My 3 day a week I would like to drop but I need the money. I am a single mom with 1 nine year old boy. Five kids-WOW. You must be a saint. I need to find something more I can do from home to makeup that income. I to have had a hard time with depression in the past and have been on AD's a loonnnnng time. This has me somewhat worried. Since my doc doesn't pay attention. i have an appt to see a new doc on the 13th. My doc said hear is your tx see ya in 6 months. NOT GOOD! I need to stay close to you people. My e-mail is ***@****. I would love to stay in touch with you. For both of us. Are most people working or have you had to stop or reduce hours? Since I have always been tired I wonder if I will have energy after treatment I have never had for years. It is so hard because like everyone says you kind of waiting daily to see what will happen and how we will feel. Audrey best to you. Hope you stay close. Helen we are all in this together. You have alot on your plate so stay close so we can all watch each other. Thank everyone for all you have to share.
Bill, just stick with the companies in the US, Don't deal with any overseas,mexico,ect.- If you can contact them by phone, and E-Mail- and are in the US they'll be OK. I did hear that they might pass a law soon where you won't be able to purchace some of the meds they are selling online at the present time- I believe alot of under aged kids are getting certain ones just to get high off of. This will all probably come to a stop sooner or later. See Ya - Harley Dude
Thank you everyone so much your thoughts make me cry . I do have a shrink monitoring me. Iam not on ad yet but will probably be the next visit. Been to sick to go this week. But i am going I promise Indiana i know you are there and thank you for all the funny e-mails they really do make my day. I am here for anyone who needs me also i can help too. I was helping Audrey and she me Iwill help all of you too. I just feel like i lost my best friend, I know i didn't audrey i know you are still here and i thank you. I am just a little down right now maybe when i go back to work tomorrow i'll feel alittle better. my e-mail is ***@**** for any one who needs help. once again thank you for letting me know i am not alone.
5 teenagers??? Oh wow...I probably would be long gone so you are doing so good to be on tx with a house full!! Could you use all the hands in the house as an advantage...Like everyone has a job whether washing clothes, cooking dinner, clean up etc.. and then after they have done their part to help at house...They can plan something that they are wanting to do. Just a thought...I have 3 girls and they always want shopping money, to go somewhere and you can do this to your advantage and before you know it...You are sitting on couch and watching them all work!! Well...anyways...it sounds good I know. We are all here for you so don't be all down,,,You haven't lost audrey as she is sticking around and you have added a forum!!
Thank you so much for putting me straight I have not lost a friend and I will keep in touch through the forum and i have your e-mail addresses I was just feeling sorry for my self when I should be glad that soon Audrey's suffering will ease. Today I went back to work after the pnuemonia and believe me I t was hard I live In texas and the temp is already in the upper 80's no air conditioning on the buses but i can come home between 10 and 1 and take a nap. Had to get my blood done and tomorrow is shot no 6 Happy Birthday but i will survive and will continue to fight this I will check the forum everyday and offer all of you support to I am sorry to here you have relapsed cindee but I hope the trial will prove successful and not put you through to much torture. Yes my Children do help but they are a tough group I have a bipolar son with add and his own depression so It's drs for him al the time too. I think my other ones are just acting out because they are frustrated that I am so sick. I know have the mouth sores too they really hurt since I have a top plate and will not go to work with out my teeth lol. Indiana thank you for being so straight forward I am not alone my friend Chevy gal if you and Audrey were close then maybe i'll be able to relate to you too. I hope so. I have just benn feeling the stupid sx alot lately and i'm afraid of what might happen if I lose anymore support. Here i go again feeling sorry for my self There you go shebee Gotta suck it up lol. Thanks again aqll of you and I love you too. we will do this I will do this!
I'm here for you. I have you on my buddylist......You can email me if you like > ***@**** < I have been dealing with tx pretty good these past few weeks, but, i know things may not always be this way. You must be the rock of your family, stand strong, ask for help, have family conferences, everyone needs to understand how you feel......My prayers go out to you and everyone having a difficult time.
I'D LOVE TO BE A SPECIAL FRIEND FOR YOU...IF YOU WILL HAVE ME? my e-mail is ***@**** PLEASE KEEP IN TOUCH... I'M UP THRU THE NIGHT ALOT OF TIMES TOO. IN CASE YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. E-MAIL ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER TOO. YOURS, TRULY, SANDI
i think it's time to lay it out to your family and tell them they must now pick up the slack so you can get the rest you need to be better. they are in there teens and can pick up alot of the responcibilities...IF YOU KEEP DOING ALL FOR THEM, THEY WILL NOT REALIZE YOUR SICK,,, SHARING THE HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES will also help them grow in areas like maturaty, thinking about others beside thereself... these are good things for husbands and kids to come to tErms with.
you have to cut back and rest alot... you are sick... you have a deadly virus... you want to be around for them later...IN ORDER TO SUCCEDDN YOU MUST HAVE REST...
time for tough love...THEN GET YOUR BLANKEY AND REST...IT'S ALOT EASIER THAT WAY...
the worst thing that can happen is the house will be a mess for a year, cause no one cooks or cleans like you do...but,this is not a life or death issue and is soon remedied after your off tx and feeling much better...
allow yourself to pamper yourself...this is your time ...and it's for thier good in the long run, TO LEARN TO CARE FOR OTHERS AND DO RESPONSIBLE THINGS...
THIS IS TRAINING THEM FOR THE REAL LIFE...
PLEASE CALL OR WRITE ANYTIME, YOUR LIFE IS VERY VALUABLE AND THAT IS OBVIOUS TO ALL ARROUND YOU, MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS TELL YOUR SELF THE TRUTH...THEY NEED A HEALTHY YOU... EVEN IF THEY MUST WAIT A YEAR FOR MOM TO GET BETTER...
I have stayed at work, 37 hr week, minus time for appointments and remember 1 day I felt crappy enough to call in sick. Luckily, no ad s so far after 40 wks and I'm also a single mom planning a big birthday soon, for which I might need a second job to have the extra cash. don't know if I'll have the energy though. Hang in there with us.
Helen, Hi my name is Cindee and I will be here for ya! You can e-mail me @ ***@**** I am here to help anybody I can, even tho I have replased after 48 wks of combo. I go to Duke the end of April for a clinical trial study. I will not give up the fight. And you listen to Indiana, he has been a MAJOR help to me. He e-mails me the funniest jokes and keeps my spirits up. He is a wonderful man and I truely love him. He is a God send! I will keep you in my prayers. Much love, Cindee
Chevy, Hey girl! I am soooo sorry you are having a rough time right now. But try to remember, "this too shall pass". Even though I'm done w/ tx. and relapsed, I am still battling the ole' nasty dragon. He wants to win, but I swear I will not let him. My fatique is horrible. I stay in my "shell" most days now. I have to make myself go to doctor appointments. I hate to even think of getting dressed...and those are the days I HAVE to go out( to doctors). I wish I could wear my PJ's all the time. I stay up all nite when I have an early doctor appointment, because I'm afraid I will over-sleep! I haven't talked to you in a long time.....but girl just please remember I LOVE YOU. I always read your post, you always make me laugh! I want to Thank-You for that. I wish I could come over and wrap my arms around you and tell you it will be alright. Too bad they don't put us all in a big house so we could be together!!! lol I am praying for you always, remember that too! Cindee
Audrey, I am so sorry to hear you are off tx. Just wanted to suggest...are there any big hospitals close to you, that might would offer you a clinical trial? Only a suggestion. I will be praying for you, and you keep your faith, don't you dare give up. I know you are a fighter! I absoutely HATE HEP C !!!! It's not fair to us, all the **** this horrible disease puts us through. I thought for sure I would beat this, first go-round, but looks like I didn't. I thought, just maybe because I have turned my life around and have been clean for almost 11 yrs and living for the Lord, that I would defeat the devil. I still feel so stupid, trying to do things now that came easy before, w/o having to think!!! (like spelling or trying to converse w/ ppl over the phone) I have to sit at the computer many, many times and try to think of how to spell a word!!!! It's like I have to reach so far into my brain, to spell even the easiest words. Before I post I go back and read my post to correct any mis-spelling. Some days I don't come on line, because I'm too tired to think! I know you will always be here, just like me. I will be looking for your posts, as I always do. You have always been so much help here. You hang in there, and remember I love you very much! Prayers to you, Cindee
Harley Dude, Hey there! I really understand about the little things that get on our nerves. As you know I took in my 10 yr old g.daughter right before Christmas, because her Mother is a crack addict. I love my g.daughter so much and have always been a big part of her life. She gets mad at me all the time, and I don't understand it. She told me tonite as I was tucking her in bed, "you treat my dog better than you treat me!" Talking about HURT. I know I have spoiled her, but I couldn't help it! Now that I have to go to Duke Hospital..she is going to have to live w/ my parents as soon as school is out. I wish I had the $$ to take her to a physcologist. Oh well, I'll stop whinning now! lol You take care and let's both "try" to not let the little things, rent space in our minds. I will if you will...."pinky promise"? I love ya bunches and you are always in my prayers, Cindee
Hi everyone. It is my 2nd day off meds and obviously, as you all know, it will be awhile before I start to feel better. I have to chuckle when people ask me, are you better yet? If it were a question of being ok the next day, the meds would be a breeze, right? It is still very very hard and I am sure it will be for a time.
I will not forget about all of you. You are my brothers and sisters in a way that my blood siblings cannot be. Hep C is a major part of my life, people who do not have it have a hard time understanding that. It impacts my plans, my day to day activities, my goals - only here can I get and give the understanding that heppers need and deserve.
So how is everyone? Helen, my hotmail is not working right now, but you are very much on my mind and in my heart. Edgar, you got it right, I will not walk away from you precious people.
Chevy, my girl, what can I say? I wish I could give you all a hug. Or as my 11 year old grandson says when he is feeling affectionate:
Hi, treatment can really suck sometimes but you can do it. When I was on treatment it always felt like there was a piece of plastic wrap between me and the rest of the world. Usually the only time I felt there was no invisible barrier is when I talked to the people on this forum. What would we all do without this place? Here no one has to feel alone. There are some thing
sorry i posted all those postings in a row. i don't know how that happened? i wasn't even done with the post!!! i think my computer has caught the brain fog from me............is this stuff contageous? sandi
WELL TODAY WAS SHOT NO 6 BAD BAD and on top of that it is my birthday what a way to celebrate lol I am not feeling good right now but will let you know how it goes tomorrow Luvd it's ok got your message and already e-mailed you ,Chevy thanks i'm gonna need you I think and everyone else I'm glad your all here you are wonderful people and i want to be here to help you too. See ya in the am
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