just found out my boyfriend has hep c

[guitarstargirl]

our family recently discovered that my boyfriend has a drug problem.  he's now in rehab (he relapsed after OD'ing in december which was when we found out about the drug use).  they had him tested since he was using needles and we found out today that he has hepatitis c.  i'm petrified that i might have it.  i don't have health insurance but i'm going to try to find free testing next week (since it's the weekend now).  i read that there is a low chance of getting it sexually with a monogamous partner but i'm still very scared and feel alone.  he and i have been together for 7 years and we were going to try for another child next year (once he's been in treatment for over a year).  i just feel like everything i wanted in life has been pulled out from under me and i just need some reassurance right now that things WILL be ok.  thanks.

[Diane12855]

"i hate talking to people!  i like things to seem like they're ok and i hate telling people what's really going on (it feels like i've failed at life/parenting/being with my partner).  all i want is a normal life and it seems like it just isn't going to happen."

Sometimes what is best for us doesn't come "naturally" because of our past life. If you didn't feel free to talk to your parents about personal things when you were growing up, it will be very uncomfortable to talk to strangers about it now. Just push yourself past the discomfort, and you will discover a room full of very understanding people who can give you the best advice based on their own struggles with the same thing you are struggling with, and you won't feel so alone any  more. Struggling alone is the very worst thing you can do for yourself, your kids, and your relationship. Please, make yourself go to a meeting, and you'll be so glad you did.

[d1555]

i agree with writeltdown ,your chances of getting is low to nil.

[WriteItDown]

I was with my husband for YEARS before we even found out he had Hep C.  He did not give it to me, and frankly I think your chances of having it are very, very low, and the kids even lower. Try not to worry!  

I agree that him getting off drugs is the biggest challenge and the most important thing. Hep C moves very slowly so likely he will have plenty of time to treat it later when he's stable and sober, and by then the newer drugs with very good cure rates will be available. He will be able to treat it and cure it!

Talk to other people! You are totally normal and will be able to have a normal life. You have not failed. You are going through a challenging time and you will get through it.  Most everyone on here did.  Keep on posting, and best of luck to you.

[d1555]

you'll be find just don't be afraid of it just be careful when its that time of month and don't use each others razors or toothbrush,my husband has a hep c test and it all ways comes back that he doesn't have it,don't be scared of him just be careful.good luck and best wishes

[guitarstargirl]

i haven't started going yet but i'm going to.  i hate talking to people!  i like things to seem like they're ok and i hate telling people what's really going on (it feels like i've failed at life/parenting/being with my partner).  all i want is a normal life and it seems like it just isn't going to happen.

[spectda]

Are you going to al-anon, it sounds to me like that would be very helpful to you.

[guitarstargirl]

yes.  he's in an intensive out patient program ($7000 geesh!) that is 6 days/week for 4 hours/day plus family has meetings twice a week (and we go to 3 AA/NA meetings per week outside of the program).  i'm just so worried about him.  i don't want to tell him what i'm thinking because i don't want it to affect his recovery.  i'm really afraid that his diagnosis is going to put him on the wrong track again but when i found him using again 2 weeks ago (which is when he enrolled in the program finally) i made him go to his parents house where he has no contact with anyone he used with and he'll be staying there until i feel like he's ready to come back home.  he stays here two nights/week and i don't leave him alone when he's here (he says i'm "mothering" him and it's driving him crazy but i think it's worth his annoyance).  his recovery is our main priority right now (his parents and mine).  i'm just so stressed out.

[Bill1954]

I think it’s important to understand his drug use probably poses a much bigger immediate threat to you both than the HCV does. He needs to first manage his dope; that has to come first. Is he working with NA or anything? Better odds for long term recovery through programs like that, than dealing with it on his own, eh?

Any other family close by for you to lean on?

One thing at a time, step by step, day by day.

Welcome again, and good luck—

--Bill

[guitarstargirl]

thanks!  i've been crying all day (like i said, we just found out today).  the worst part in this for me is not being able to talk to him much about it.  i'm afraid that if i tell him how upset i am that it might make him relapse (or want to).  i'm also afraid that if i don't have it, it will affect our relationship.  i'm afraid that i'll be too scared to be intimate with him again.  i'm afraid that i might say something i shouldn't.  i'm afraid for our children (we have a 9 year old and a 6 year old).  i'm afraid for him.  i'm afraid that i won't have as much time left with him (finding him pretty much dead 5 months ago really messed with me as i'm sure it would anyone).  i hate being afraid!  i'm trying to remember that the fears are irrational but it's really hard to do!  

[d1555]

hi,ive had hep c for a long time,my hubby and my daughter did not get,i was told years ago that my hep was gone so i never told my family about it till 2 or 3 years ago i found out it was back,if use never had blood to blood its very unlikey your got it.don't worry 2 much about it.

[Bill1954]

Hey there, and welcome.

It’s unlikely to transmit this sexually, as you already are aware. So many of us were diagnosed after being married or with someone for years, and the significant other remains negative. It *can* happen, but it’s unusual.

In the future, refrain from sharing razors, nail clippers, things that have the potential for transmitting blood. Toothbrushes should be separated probably, although I’m unaware of any documented cases of oral transmission.

You might try contacting your county health department and asking if they offer screening; sometimes they do. If not, call the local hospital and ask if they have any community health programs for uninsured.

There is less than 5% odds of maternal transmission from mother to child, if that’s an issue for you.

Will your boyfriend eventually want to consider treatment? If so, he’s welcome to join the discussions here; there are some fairly knowledgeable members available to help him through the maze :o).

Good luck to both of you—

Bill