seeking support

Hi,my husband was diagnosed with hep c recently and he just started the treatment a month ago.We just got married a few months ago and i have a great little boy who has
special needs of his own as well.My husband is now his father and we are struggling with many issues and i want them to spend time together but he is sick most of the time,he gets alot of side affects which leads to aggression and more.It is hard for me to understand it and im not perfect ,i miss his happiness and laughter and smiles.We need him just as much as he needs us.I started of fighting with him when he would have a fit or temper.He has become different and sometimes i fear that he does not love me or my son anymore,manytimes icould not handle him and i got weak depressed and almost left never really doing it though.I need help and ideas on how to help him and my son and i on how to adjust so we can all be in this together.Any ideas?

[chicagogirl]

My hepatologist strongly suggested starting on an antidepressant before starting treatment; and I have no history of depression either.  Treatment affects the central nervous system.  These side effects need to be managed.  I suggest an antidepressant.  If the starting dose doesn't do the job, then increase the dose.  Don't go on too long with a husband who is difficult and aggressive; treatment or not.  Good luck.

[meandhepc]

I know someone on this board will know an addy for "Caregivers for people with Hep-C" These support groups will be great for you to talk to, someone going through these hard times as well.
I wish you all the best.

[Galen]

I am sorry you are having to face this, but please know that your husband may not be in control of how he behaves right now.  Interferon causes cognitive disfunction and depression, not to mention we feel like hell a lot of the time.  Plus, we are just plain scared.  That does NOT lead to good feelings for those around us.  Please try your darndest to be understanding and supportive.  Talk to him about his abrasiveness and if he won't listen talk to his doctor.  Talk to the doc anyway so that you can understand better.  Lastly, stick around here and try to get your husband to do so, also.  We are a great support team and it can help immensely to know you are not in this alone.
Galen

[Tosser]

Communication with your husband is crutial at this time, but you will have to let him meet you on his terms right now. He needs your support to get through the side effects of the treatment. Also, feel him out to see if he needs you to get him help with his down moods. We all go through these times, and you aren't alone in your difficulty in dealing with this, but these Hep-C treatments(tx) can cause a person to react very differently to situations than they would normally. Remember, his situation with this virus and treatment is going to be temporary, but if you feel you are nearing the end of your rope, then I think you may need to get some professional help in coping with these changes. You might even start at his Doctors office. Talk to the nurse about what you think he is feeling. Hopefully, if that sets off some alarm, she will find out what to do to help and call you back, and if you know your pastor pretty well, and your husband agrees, you might even meet with him for support, prayers and possible family counseling. Be sure to take care of yourself for your family, and try to stay positive. Your husband and son need you to be the strong one right now. You can get through this and I think your husband will see what a wonderful person you are, and he will return the favor to you and your son. Our prayers are with you...stay here and READ all of the previous posts you can. You'll find great inspiration, as well as what to expect. YOU CAN DO IT !
Tosser
PS. I'm on Pegasys/combo,in week 11, age 47, and have a beautiful wife and two beautiful young daughters.

[jessinfaith]

i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented on my post ,tosser you touched my heart and i pray blessings for you and your family,and everyone else thanks for the knowlege.Please feel free anyone to give me advice and support.

[DownThisRoad]

And oh by the way, tosser is getting ready to go on a nice vacation with his loved ones and have fun.  Right tosser?

jessinfaith,
This is not an easy way to start off your new marriage whether you and your husband have known each other forever or for just a short time.  I'm sorry you are having to go through this right now. You sound like a very caring wife and wonderful mother to your son.

Life on treatment gets a little scary as well as monotonous. Its not easy at all for people who are taking the medication, nor is it at all easy for the people who share their lives with them on treatment.

People who have hepC are usually not feeling well on a day to day basis, as you have just learned. They may or may not carry around a heavy burden within themselves because of the disease. Most people do.  Then when you add treatment; the medications that we have to take are very strong to our mind, body and system.  Tricky at least and brutal, at most.

Find a quiet time (maybe when he is waking up from resting) and go quietly and sit or lay beside him.  Tell him that you don't know exactly how he is feeling but you know that it is extremely difficult for him, difficult for you and your son, and all different for him now.  Tell him you are there to support him, how much you love him, how much you are looking forward to your new marriage, and how much you love your son.  Talk about the ups and downs of life a little and you are prepared to help and assist him with everything, good or bad from now on. I'm almost positive that he will say kind and gentle words to you.  He may even break down and cry.  Let him cry or say what he wants to.  Just listen and see what he tells you.

Find a support group (internet or otherwise) that you can relate to and talk to people who understand and are going through what you are.  That will allow yourself to do a couple of things.  One, speak with others and they may have better ideas about how to help and support your husband or two, let you know that you are not alone in this fight for your family.

I hope Shebee will see this and answer your post and comment back to you.  She will say something that you will understand and she will also give you some support and guidance. Her husband has had quite a rough time with his treatment and they are getting ready to push ahead with round 2. As a caregiver and wife, she possibly may be on of the strongest people on this forum.

Give your husband a big hug and hug your child everyday. Don't give up on your husband and stay right by his side, through good days and bad days.  He will love you more for it, you will love him forever too.

[TomWill]

I have been married to my wife for 31 years, and I can tell you tx has been a very difficult time for both of us. I have angry outbursts for absolutely no reason. My wife has learned not to take any of it personal. There are times I just need to be left alone. I surely don't want to be this way and it is not my normal nature. We kind of kid each other that for us to communicate I only need 2 hands. Left hand up means I want to eat, and right hand up means LEAVE ME ALONE. Ha! Ha! I am through almost 7 months of treatment already and the virus has been undetectable since week 8. I would urge you to keep the faith and find some support during your husbands tx. Keep your eye on the prize and that is for your husband to be cured. Over 50% of us are cured. Here is hoping he is one of them. Your son will adjust and so will your husband give them some time.


Tom

[terriri]

Hi Jessinfaith, I am very sorry you are going though this confusing time with your husband. TX is soooo hard on the family & you can be sure your husband has a lot of guilt at times over his behavior. I don

[skagway]

search around and find the big list of sides effects, go over it with him   that could help both of you. there is  meds to help with mood changes, they change with out any reason at all, even he will not know why. if he would read the web sites it will help him, it did me--------roy

[Galen]

The hep song site is at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/hepsongs/
You will need to join the site (post a pic of yourself too!!) to join the chats.  Hope to see you there!

[Indiana]

I wandered over there after I got home from the marching band practice. It was a little late but I couldn't get it to work. I even tried other chat places in yahoo and they wouldn't work either. I must have something set wrong. That or it's BADGER SABOTAGE....again.

[DebbieDo]

I enjoyed the chat last night...Galen, i know now where i saw your pic, it was in the photo gallery (Hepsongs).....
              Deb (oldyoungchick50)

[Galen]

You do have brain fog!! lOL

[oldhippiechick67]

I went there at 8 Mtn time, and 9 & 10 and didnt see anyone!  Maybe I did something wrong too??  Lets try again tonite and every nite?  Any takers/talkers??   Augs/OHC

[Galen]

There were a bunch of us there at 9:00 Eastern time.  I had suggested the time change for those of us in this time zone as 10 is too late.

[whybabe]

How old is your son?  If he is old enough to understand what his dad is going through, if so, be honest with him so he doesn't feel affraid or blame himself.  Children are alot smarter than we think.  You will receive alot of great advice here and from people that have lived it, so stay focused and educate yourself about the treatment. God Bless!
Deb

[LvdByGod]

where is everone going to chat. is that at hepsongs? do you have the link address? i'd love to chat.

[latrobe]

that was something last night--my computer nearly popped a circuit with all the great energy...i could hardly keep up. anybody thinking that will happen again??
macky

[Indiana]

So what does it mean if you hold BOTH handa up at the same time?? ....."I'll make my own damn sandwich"?

[TomWill]

Two hands up means incoming aand I have to block the bread she just threw at me.

Tom