smile!

Hey guys.
I sit at my desk every single day and minimize and maximize this forum. i dont know what im doing? dont know what im looking for everyday. i read panic, comfort, truth and denial. i get overwhelmed sometimes with all that is going on.
I went on vacation to florida last week with 2 other couples and their kids and had the best time, i had a glass of wine or margarita everyday and ate out almost every night, I DID NOT
care, well i did...but, did it anyway, i am not on tx and have no damage. PLS noone get mad, im just stating i had a good time.
I work full time and live healthy with my fiance' and 2 kids, his and mine and we are a good little family, i just wanted to let loose after being dx for almost a yr and being so tight lipped.
BUT. i just want to say that i lurk everyday and read so many minds everyday and for those i see comment on each and every posts with great advice ie: Mike Simon, and a few others, i cant remember right now, i just admire so much and thank you for your posts to mine.
this is crazy what is going on in our bodies and its sad to everyone that has any disease, no matter how contracted.
i feel for all of us and i just wanted to say i think of you guys every single day and my hand is always on your hearts.
everyone: have a good day!
:)
meshell

[newgirl]

Funny, I was about to write to Nann thanking her, then I saw your post. So...thank you both.  I was just about ready to quit treatment this morning.  I have a rash all over my eyelids that won't go away, my entire body itches so terribly badly, my hair is so thin and scraggly, I am pale, irritable and so tired that I get dizzy. I switch back and forth between wanting to beat this thing and not really caring one way or another.  I work 11+ hours a day and by the time I get home, I just want to crawl in a hole for the rest of the year.  And yes, I am on an AD, I am just having a moment.

So anyway, I started crying when I read Nann and Meshell's post. Mainly because I needed a little reminder of comfort...of people who have it much worse than I, of people whose lives truly are on the line, of people who can put all their worries away for a long weekend and enjoy the sun.  I needed some reminders that life does exist outside of this little hepatitis bubble, whether in Iraq or on the beaches of Florida.  Thank you both for your emails, they truly brought light to my day.   Nann, I will pray for your son and for you as well.

[MeShell]

all i can say is that i admire your courage greatly!

[madbyron]

In all seriousness, working 11+ hour days is probably more than you can handle right now. If there were a way to shorten your workday/workweek, I'd do it. I know everybody has different experiences on tx and some can continue their everyday activities without much interruption, but from what you've said about how you feel, you're doing too much, especially if you're questioning your ability to complete a full course of treatment.

Newgirl, you've come an awful long way and it's natural that the further you get into the tx cycle, the more the toll starts to mount. You're doing remarkably well, but I think you need to give yourself more time to rest, recover and just plain veg. Apologies for the unsolicited opinion.

[TravisB]

Madbyron is right: No matter how important your job is or seems to be, there is no way you should be putting work before health at this point.  TX is the most important thing you have ever done and if successful will have more positive impact on your life than a 1000 jobs.  Cut back so that you can preserve your energy for the hard months to come even if you have to take another job, go into debt, whatever.  None of it matters like completing TX.  This is especially true because you cleared at 12 weeks and are now very likey to rid yourself of this scourge if you can stay healthy enough to complete the course  

Lots of jobs ut there but you only get one body in this life.  Make sure you put that first. Travis

[newgirl]

Thank you guys for you kind words...I think that I am just having one of those gloomy, pity-party days that seem to be more frequent now that I am really in the thick of things.  I know that I should cut back my hours, I will really try, I just feel extremely trapped in my job right now.  I needed all of these little pep talks more than you can imagine...I know that my boyfriend is more than sick of hearing all of my woes.  Thanks again, sometimes you guys are my life line to sanity!

[Eyedeas]

We're all dealing the best we can with a rotten situation.  Newgirl, I worked the same kind of hours all the way through tx and think it's the only thing that kept me going.  Weekends on tx were the roughest of course, but I think it was partly because I had time to feel bad.  During the week I didn't.  So, I guess it's whatever it takes to get us where we are going!

Your Brother In Arms

Kim

[tuna]

Love it!!!! pitty party!!!

[doll face]

We all have pity party days and that 's okay I had a major one this week. Then we get reminded of life outside our circle.We need to have those days though sometimes, we are going through a lot. No one but ourselves know how hard some days are, so if we need a pity party for just a few moments or a day or two once in awhile I say that's okay,as long as we snap out of it and move forward when we are done.As long as were not making anyone join us.

[Galen]

Boy,do we all know that feeling!  I've worked throught tx, but I shortened my day to a max of 8 hours and schedule at least a couple of short breaks into my day.  Even then, by 3:00 I've had it and want to go home.  There are long dark days in tx when you are sure it will never end, but it will and it is going to be the most important year of your life, so take care of #1 right now.

[Steve']

Hi there I can admire your working through this, but holy cow 11hr days no wonder you're so tired, anyone even people not on Tx would be tired as heck...  Stay with it newgirl, I'm 3 weeks into Tx myself & I have made a deal with myself "(strange huh) to finish this deal, no matter what...

Keep focused & relax if you can...  bye for now..

[Tos356]

Dang...people! I don't see how you all can work a full day on Tx. It has zapped me of all my energy, but I'm afraid to even tell the MD. I don't want them to take me off. My work is fairly demanding. I am an automotive technician (mechanic),I run out of energy after just two hours and have to stop. I get so weak and shaky that I can barely stay concious long enough to grab a snack or meal. Any body else had this experience, and is there a way I can beat this. The lab work hasn't sent up any red flags as far as my liver and blood is concerned. I'm on Pegasys and Copegus, into my eighth week and still having some bad sides. I'm a 47 year old male and use to be very strong, but I'm having a real rough time right now doing anything. Somebody here said its like going through life with your park brake on. I can relate to that. Good luck to all of you and thanks for your time!
Roger
Tos356

[Hepmom]

This treatment is rough.  Don't even think that others are 'stronger' or 'tougher'.  They're not.  The meds hit each person differently...and each week (each day?) can be different.  What really bothers me is the unpredictability of the whole thing.  Some days that are usually bad days, aren't.  And then some days that are usually OK, aren't.
I'm a bit of an outsider.  I don't take the meds.  I simply watch my daughter go through it.  It's hard.  
Keep close to these guys.  They will pull you through the tough times!  -e-

[Ambush]

Hi.  I don't have the physical demands you do with your job ~ and I applaud all the people who work full time.  I do find that I get shaky and weak if I try to eat on a "normal" 3X a day schedule.  I feel a little peppier if I eat small amounts much more often, which can be difficult if you are at work.  I carry graham crackers, fruit, cookies, carrot and celery sticks and any small munchies with me always.  Not easy because I don't feel like eating ~ and of course, buckets of water.  I was pretty wiped out for the first 8 weeks (on week 14 now) and all of a sudden things improved and I have leveled out energy wise now.  I'm not exactly spunky, but I don't feel like falling over very much anymore.  I hope you get the same surprise soon!  Good Luck.
ambush :)