Hepatitis C Community
wanna die
About This Community:

This forum is for questions about medical issues and research aspects of Hepatitis C such as, questions about being newly diagnosed, questions about current treatments, information and participation in discussions about research studies and clinical trials related to Hepatitis. If you would like to communicate with other people who have been touched by Hepatitis, please visit our new Hepatitis Social/Living with Hepatitis forum

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

wanna die

I just took 10 pills or ribavirin(400 mg) one shot,and will take my pegasys shot now..I wonder is it gonna kill me! Is it enough to kill me or just gonna be hospitalized and got severe anemia and bleeding!

I wanna die badly,my life is misery,my parents passed away last year after 2 yrs of suffering both from cancer,I live with my brother,he has beaten me directly after my both parents death and force me to break up with my boyfriend and I went into a nervous break down....then I get engaged month later to another guy and figured out I have hep c...now he broke up with me,I'm always alone,this medicine make me unable to be friendly or to talk or move,my full time job is Ruined uop,dun wanna go to work anymore,it's my 7th shot...my fiancé can't handle my pain,hates me,fed up and was never there,he broke up with me,it's not about him,I dun give a damn for him,he was already making me feel lonely all the time and never hugged me when I'm in pain,he is an ***,I'm extreme lonely and my life is misery. I'm in PAIN
Related Discussions
42 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
And now I'm home alone,no one will figure out if anything wrong happened to me
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Whoa    whats going on ...  talk to us
Blank
1658980_tn?1330715150
If this is true, if you can, please call 911.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Yep,it's true,but after thinking,I think the 10 pills will not cause something serious....i dun wanna call the emergency, eventually .nothing will happen to me and my brother will not know and my fiancé will not definitely know or care...they already can't believe I'm suffering from this TX and dying from pain.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
I am not sure what 2000mg of Riba will do ..prolly not much other than maybe make you sick...but more importantly what is going on  are you going thru tx. on your own   have you got somewhere else to go to get thru it.   Sounds like the bro and the B/F  aren"t helping much ?  What is the pain ?
Blank
1113735_tn?1273178030
Hi, it is not worth killing yourself.You need to live to do something for your self. This is your life. Your parents are gone, but you are not. So Keep on curing yourself, stop with self pitty, and think of all the people, whou would like to have a chance to cure themselves, but they cannot. They all wanna live. Think about it. You have a gift from God. Use it, and create somehting out of it.
Blank
1508600_tn?1289925850
Please call and get some help....you are worth it....I know you feel alone, but your not...people here will be there for you, just keep talking to us.....
Blank
1711722_tn?1356491154
You should call 911 anyway and get some help.  If you're set against that, please call the National Suicide Hotline, if only to talk with someone who can help: 1-800-SUICIDE.  MedHelp most likely has a suicide forum too.  God loves you, even if you don't think so.  Life is a gift.  I am so very sorry for your struggle.  Please call the number above and get some help.
Blank
1658980_tn?1330715150
It sounds like you need to be around someone that cares about you and away from your brother and fiance.  Is there anyone that you can call to get you away from there for a few days and maybe clear your head a bit?  Maybe talk to your doctor about your depression?
Blank
1658980_tn?1330715150
Would you mind telling us your first name?  It seems weird not being able to call you by name.  My name is Debra.
Blank
179856_tn?1333550962
Hell I took almost that much daily for 72 weeks and I'm still here.

Agree with the other guys please go get help - perhaps the interferon is causing your suicidal ideation please call your doctor immediately and tell him.
Blank
96938_tn?1189803458
Riba also comes in 400 mg pills, not just 200 mg.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I'm 25,and I'm from far country,not USA,I know I got the chance to be cured and to get TX,but I'm tired...I am fighting to survive and live..but emotional and physical pain is unbearable
Blank
1658980_tn?1330715150
The treatment drugs can cause both of those problems and your doctor can help with medications.  Are you able to call your doctor?
Blank
1744282_tn?1314068899
So do I but I dont try to kill myself because life is short enough as it is. You need counseling and help with your problems call a crisis line or battered womans shelter please or you can call me if you like and I will talk to you dont klll your self you may end up in pergatory or lost soul if it is true what the bible says. Call 911 Immediatly and tell them what you need they will get you help.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
If you're 25, there is a lot of life ahead of you and it's all for you to choose what to do with it.  So far it seems your life and happiness is way too dependent on other people.  I'm sorry about you losing both your parents, that's tough, really tough.  Sorry about your brother beating you also.  Getting engaged to a guy ONE MONTH after breaking up with the guy before...maybe a little quick eh?  So brush it off and brush him off and take some control of YOUR life.  If he's beating you, get to a shelter and they'll give you some place to be for awhile and help you with counselling to get your sh!t together.  I don't think you want to die at all.  I think you just want the pain and emotional suffering to end.  There ARE steps you can take to make that happen but handing your life over to other people who control all that isn't going to be it.  Talk to people who can help you, professional people.  You will find your own strength and happiness.  Trust me on this one.  

As far as your treatment goes, if you don't have much liver damage and you aren't too far along in treatment, then maybe....just maybe.....treatment can wait until you get your life sorted out and more under your own control.

Put one foot in front of the other and take the steps you need to.  Good luck with all this.

Trish
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks nygirl,then nothing serious will happen to me if u were really taking 4000 mg ribavirin per day..I was. Exaggerating then...I'll try bigger dose next time:) thanks all for your support,I'm just tired and in pain,and no one feel it or know about it...even my friends,each busy in his own life.

I'm from an arab country
Blank
96938_tn?1189803458
Just to explain my earlier post a little.  Riba is not just a 200 mg pill.  It also comes in 400 mg and 600 mg pills. So, it's possible that she ate 4,000 mg while eating 10 of them.

Thanks for the translate Trish, I was leaning to that as a guess.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Thanks trish,appreciate your kind words and support and thank you all for being here..this is where I feel safe,whenever I read ur posts and see the support all around,i feel here that there r ppl who can know what I feel...

I have mixed thoughts,I always have strong will for success and life..but now I'm collapsing,I'm giving up...I can't find anything beautiful,even my fiancé that I loved and tried much to lean on him hated my load and my tiredness. I'm sorry for being talkative,I'm just tired.
Blank
1658980_tn?1330715150
Since Im not familiar with life as a woman in an Arab county, any of the rest of you know what services are realistically available to her?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Doctors can help you with your feelings. They have medicine for that.   Let your doctor know how you are feeling and ask him also for another doctor to talk to.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I'll hit my therapist tomorrow if today passed well,thanks research monkey
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
this is where I feel safe,whenever I read ur posts and see the support all around,i feel here that there r ppl who can know what I feel...

Yes we do.   lots of good people here to help you thru...

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Sometimes....there comes a time when you need to learn to lean on yourself.  Other people want to help but they have lives to live also.  Even if they say they will help, when the time comes, sometimes it's a bit much for them.  

Sometimes it helps just to talk about it.  I hope this helped get it off your chest.  I think you need to really have the courage to make changes for yourself.  I don't know what is available to you in your country for supports, here there are women's shelters and counsellors. I think it's not easy being a young single woman in an Arab country...but there is always a way and I believe you will find it.  One step forward at a time.  Good luck.

Oh....and how many mg are your ribavirin pills?  FlGuy makes a good point...200mg or 400mg or...?  How much total dosage have you taken?
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I was a daddy's girl,and my brother had never been tough before their death...but it just happened that way,life turned upside down suddenly...no one to hug me and let me feel safe...

Wish I can be strong back,I already feel now terrible fatigue.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
It's 400 mg per pill..
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I can relate.....I actually "lost" both my parents when I was just a small girl and went without hugs most of the time from that point forward.  It was a terrible ache sometimes.  I did learn to be strong though.  It will get better.  Maybe your brother also misses your parents and is having a hard time handling it properly. It's okay to be weak from time to time...happens to all of us when we get worn down.  

Get some rest for yourself, call your doctor if you took too heavy a dose and glad to know you will talk to your therapist tomorrow.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
Ask your doctor for an anti depressant.

Taking extra Hep meds isn't going to kill you so I don't think you really want to do that. Sounds like you just need some attention. Try and find a live Hep C chat room. This type of forum with a delay isn't what you need.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

God Bless
Blank
1491755_tn?1333204962
Hang in there ! don't give up NEVER give up !  Please if your daddies little girl would he want this for you ?  NO he would NOT.  Please you will find happiness. TX is tough on us, see a doc as suggested by others.
Blank
789911_tn?1368640383
Yes, please dont try to end your life.  You are going thru with a major step  to become healthy!. It takes a toll on us to get rid of the virus but you will know how worth it  is very soon.   Once you are done with this you will be able to go on with your life and put this disease behind you For Good!   Hang in there and seek professional help also if you can to help you along.  We are all here for you.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Has anyone heard from this individual?  Is there a way for the list administrator to contact her/him to see if she is ok?  I tried to back channel and got no response.
Blank
1669790_tn?1333666195
Do hope she's ok and checks in today to follow up.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Please get to a mental health professional and get some help.  When my son was diagnosed with cancer I spent every waking moment thinking of killing myself.  Antidepressants helped quickly. Felt like a curtain was lifting. I got to live to see him become a healthy successful political activist making the world a better place.  In 2000 my husband died from cirrhosis caused by Hep C.  We got 3 calls for transplants but none of the livers were viable, Got back on meds for depression promptly . I did a year of treatment in 2005 followed by a year of almost 2 yrs of interferon maintenance. Was going to start to start Incevik this week and started Zoloft to hopefully prevent the awful anxiety and Riba rage I had on treatment. Just got my pretreatment labs back and learned somewhere along the way the virus cleared. I am so happy to be alive. I still have compensated cirrhosis but
without the virus I feel I have some quality of life left and an opportunity to give back. I lost several friends to drug addiction in the 70's and 80's and am so grateful something allowed me to get through those crazy times. I only briefly allowed myself to be in an unhealthy relationship. You have to get help so you can learn to care about yourself . There is no excuse for physical violence. None! Once the antidepressants start to work you will be able to start to work on your relationship and health issues. Learn to live alone and be happy before jumping into another bad relationship. With the right support you will get through the treatment. If you do not have cirrhosis talk to your doc about putting it off until you get your house in order. Life is beautiful and we all deserve happiness.  You can get there.  I am so happy to be alive. Just can't believe I cleared the virus.
Call a suicide or help line for abused woman and they will give you options for getting yourself in a safe and loving environment. Life can be wonderful.






Blank
Avatar_f_tn
James,Trish,marti,flcyclist,his3707,copyman,curiouslady and everyone..thanks for your words and support,it really means a lot to me,want to reply on each post..u give me hope,I know life is beautiful and worth living,life can be tough big time,but the best is yet to Come always..that's y we go thru this tough treatment to get a healthy life and healthy moments for the rest of our lives.

Live with an active body without pain is a treasure...I was hysterical yesterday,totally gave up and it was the longest moments ever..but thanks GOD,nothing serious happened,only some extra fatigue,headache and myalgia..I fell asleep or maybe fainted yesterday after hours of crying,emotional and physical pain..but here comes a new day,I'll go to my doctor now...wish that overdose won't affect the treatment in a wrong way.

Marti,u have been thru a lot,brave u r,god bless u,wish u happiness and healthy body and life.

The spirit of love and support here is a blessing,may GOD bless u all.

Thanks a dozen,
Nora
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
There r many names I didn't write,I want to thank each one of you,you are all amazing,and ur words are really helpful and sincere.
Blank
1491755_tn?1333204962
Hi Nora,

You can do this, you will get through this.  We care about you !!

James
Blank
1235186_tn?1339127464
nora,
i am so happy to see your posts have a different tone than yesterday. i sent you a personal message about the LORD. and today i see you are thanking GOD that is so comforting to know. please lean on HIM , HE will comfort you and give you a hope and a peace. praying for you.
debbie
Blank
1658980_tn?1330715150
Glad to see you feeling better today.  Don't give up!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Please ask your doctor about an anti-depressant. I'm happy to see you feel better.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi Nora....thanks so much for checking in and letting us know how you're doing, it's good to hear from you and see that your outlook has gotten brighter today.  We all have dark moments when life gets hard.  Please stay in touch..and keep moving forward a step at a time.  You can do it!!!  

Best to you, Nora.

Trish
Blank
1669790_tn?1333666195
Sorry yesterday was such a bad day, but hope you got in to see the doc and under some guidance to a get to a better state of mind.  Let us know how you're doing.  
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Just got to the forum today, and your message caught my attention, the response you have received is unreal.

This means one thing: YOU are not battling this alone, there are others that are concerned and worried about your well-being, and willing to be there for you, even if at a distance.

Riba is a very powerful drug, almost every side effect you feel during the treatment is due to Riba. I take 1000 mg a day, and I am so sick every single day. I can barely stand on my feet, I can't go out anywhere, I cry a lot......depression is the worst side effect.

Personally I take Paxil (antidepressant) on a daily basis because of depression I have been battling with for decades. I had a very difficult first marriage, difficult pregnancies, I lost my second son on my 7th month of pregnancy, I almost lost my youngest son at 18 months old, I got divorced, I lost my Dad to cancer, I found out I had Hep C, and a lot more.

I always asked: "God what else is going to happen to me?"

What I am telling you is, we all have our personal monsters we have to deal with, suicide is the easy way out, and never the answer. No matter what your religious faith is, Pray. Prayer was the only thing that helped me get out of that dark place. I found comfort in prayers because I realized things could have been worse, and for everything I lost, or suffered, God gave me something to be happy and thankful for. He always did, but I was to blind to notice it.

We need to realize and accept that the things that happen to us in life are not a punishment for something we did, they are just things that were supposed to happen, and they did. It was meant to be that way. I am sure that your parents are watching over you and hoping you realize that life is worth living, and that it's OK to feel the way you do, but never to give up Hope.

Everything will change for you, for the better......you just have to Believe. This treatment will soon be over, each day is one day closer to your goal of finding your health.

Keep your head up high, tell yourself every single day that you are the most important person in the world, and that you and only you are going to make a change for the best.

You are worth it. God Bless you.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Hepatitis C Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Hepatitis Answerers
96938_tn?1189803458
Blank
FlGuy
South, FL
1747881_tn?1358189534
Blank
hrsepwrguy
Greeley, CO
446474_tn?1404424777
Blank
HectorSF
CA
766573_tn?1365170066
Blank
Idyllic
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
Livelife777
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
dontworry_behappy1