I just want you to know I appreciate all of your support. For me it has never meant so much to me.
I rather not go into the details... but I can say that my last live cancer treatment did not help my situation and my circumstances unfortunately have worsened considerably and become dire now. I am still remain hopeful that somehow, someway, this is not the end of the road for me. I have told my doctor I want to continue to fight until all my options run out even if it entails high risky experimental procedures since I have nothing to lose. I have made clear I rather die fighting then be told "there is nothing else we can do for you, better get your affairs in order and prepare for the inevitable".
In the next few weeks I will repeat the liver cancer (TACE) procedure in hopes of eliminating what remains of the tumor that the last procedure was unable to kill.
I will also have a PET scan to search for tumors that may have spread to other parts of my body.
So I have been preoccupied with this recent turn of events and need to make end of life contingency plans. Therefore I have had to prioritize my time differently. So that is why I have not been around. I hope you can understand that this is the most difficult situation I have ever dealt with in my life and need to do everything I can to keep my inner hope alive despite the great statistical odds against me.
In no way is my absence online a disregard for all the prayers, well wishes, good vibes and support that I have received from so many of you. My appreciation of my good fortune of meeting so many caring and thoughtful will never diminish no matter what happens. That is something I am sure of and I want you to be sure of too.
I wish the best to all of you wherever you are on this hep C/liver disease journey. I feel fortune to be a member of such a great community of caring people.
UCSF liver cancer patient, undetectable HCV for 32 weeks, cirrhosis and HCC
In liver transplantation, the Milan criteria are applied as a basis for selecting patients with cirrhosis and hepatocellular carcinoma (HCC) for liver transplantation. I am currently unable to be transplanted due to my liver cancer being outside the Milan criteria for transplant. This is because even if I had a transplant, I still would die from recurrence of HCC soon after transplant and it would be a poor use of a donor liver. My outcome wouldn't change and someone else might die because I received the donor liver that could have saved them and allowed them to live 10-20 years.
"It ain't over 'til it's over"
"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours."
Yogi Berra - Philosopher and baseball great
UCSF liver cancer patient, undetectable HCV for 32 weeks, cirrhosis and HCC
San Francisco, CA
Thanx for the update on your situation. I commend you on your ongoing struggle and courage to continue fighting for life. Every moment we have is so precious and when I think of you I am reminded of that. This is the first support forum, I have ever participated in, and never knew I could come to care so much about strangers. I care about you. It's as if you were my brother.
I truly wish a miracle for you, so keep fighting,
Blessings~~ I wish somehow things will work out for you. Anyone can die from an accident on the street any given day. Please don't think you are less deserving than other patients just because you have cancer. You are a good fighter - live your life to the fullest and not one day less! Best wishes!!!
what can i say apart from what a warrior and what an inspiration to all of us. The world would be a damn sight better place if there was more people like you, i want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and just how much i admire you. Lots of love Jules xxx
We continue to hope and pray for you Hector. We are all hoping for a miracle and that somehow, some way, your situation will improve. I don't know how you've managed to stay so positive throughout this whole ordeal, but you really have inspired us to do the same. Nobody expects you to post here all the time because we know what you're going through. May God reach down and touch you and heal you. Reid
Thank you so much for continuing to post despite what has to be a devastating time. It is a shock to see this post since I think I can speak for many of us in saying that we have been right there with you with the hope that this would all work out. That your AFP would drop and things would fall into place for your transplant. I have learned so much from you and your heart felt, thoughtful and fully informative posts that I just want to believe this is not happening. I will continue to hope and pray for you Hector - that fat lady ain't sung yet.
Mikesimon's reply really resonates with me and I have to second it, but I have to add a little too. I'm sending good energy your way and I'm hoping as hard as I can for you to pull off a miracle, but I also want to say that I believe you have already achieved a sort of immortality. What I mean is that you have given generously of yourself to all of us (and probably to others in other parts of your life) and we all treasure those gifts and will carry them with us always. Most of us will be holding on to a portion of that gift all of our lives, while passing another portion on to help others. I think this kind of loving gift is the best chance at immortality anyone can ever have, and you've given so very much that you are long since guaranteed that immortality. I'm sure you are now being totally bombarded, surrounded and inundated with all the love and hopes and best wishes of the hundreds or thousands of people you have helped. Blessings upon you, Hector. All that loving energy just HAS to help.
Hey, hey HCC, how many kids have you killed today?
One, two, three, four! We don't want your tumor war!
Make love, not AFP!
Ill people of the world unite!
We have nothing to lose but our chains of pain and suffering.
"Fight The Power"
...Got so many forces
Stayin' on the scene
Givin' up all around me
Faces full a' pain
I try to play my music
They say my music's too loud (Grrr)
I tried talkin' about it
I got the big run around (Grrr)
And when I rolled with the punches
I got knocked on the ground
By all this bull$hit going down!
Count me in on the revolution, and down with HCC. Up with your warrior spirit, and unbendable unbreakable courage and undying hope. You have given so selflessly to others it's an unbelieveable concept that you could not catch a break for you. If our collective respect and yes love for you could do it, how wonderful would that be? I love your never give up, never give in
philosophy! And we never know, the doc's don't know, each of us having our own destiny. I believe hugely in miracles and continue to hope and pray for yours Hector! You get the best headphones that Sony makes and play that music to your heart's content, Please feel the comprehensive power of the group with you brother and keep on keepin' on!
I have just phinished reading the Post I had never wanted to read!I haven't gotten to know you yet and I pray phor the opportunity to share in your experience with ESLD and your amazing knowledge.
You will be here with us until you have done all the work you were destined to do..There are jobs that each one o us have to do that no one else can do and you will be here until you've done them.
I am sending comport to you with many prayers,stregnth and HOPE.
Keep the aith !
Hector I look for your post all the time. It lets me know you are still the fighter we all know you are. Hector, although we have never met I must say that I think you are one of the finest people I have ever had correspondence with. I know you have helped countless numbers of people here and elsewhere! I know I have told your story countless times to people I have met along the way in my Hepatitis C journey. Your story, like you, are very powerful in their own right. I know if it wasn't for you and your generous nature on this site I would not be undectable now. Thank you so much for your kindness and unselfish giving to me and so many others. God bless you man and I know you are giving it your all!!! You are the man in my book!!!!'
Hector you are truly a diamond in this rough world and I pray for you every day. I echo the sentiments of many in that you have become a part of my family. I pray that you are successful in your fight and hope to read your words of wisdom and guidance for many years to come <3 God Bless
Today I am a person with few words. Reading your post and then the lovely wonderful sentiments of all above made me cry.
People come into an out of our lives, we never know how they will touch us or even if they will.Y You have touched everyone on this forum.
You have given so much of your self on this forum it boggles the mind. You have made a difference in so many lives so much so that it is too much to count. If not for you, after I relapsed I doubt if I would have tried again. The first tx caused me to lose so much I did not see much point in going on. You were one of the first to respond to me when I came to this site lost and so down I did not think I could get back up again.
You helped to save my life.
We all love you, care for you, pray for you
You are in my thoughts every day.
I pray that all of our prayers can give you strength.
OK big H you started it off with your little song/rhyme so I thought I would throw one at ya!
I found out that I had hep c and I need help and a friend
I didnt know which way to turn or where to begin
Then I found this forum and I got a plan
I asked a few questions and then came this man
He gave me great advice and helped me figure out what to do
He helps everyone all the time like a Hep C Guru
I had 3 failed treatments and thought I was at the end of my rope
This man came back to tell me that there IS STILL ALWAYS HOPE
He has this fighting spirit like no one I've ever met
He will never give up, and on that you can bet
Well now our buddy Hector is being put to the test
And you can bet your a$$, that he is giving it his best
So now what can the rest of us do or what can we say
We will keep you in our thoughts each and every day
I know that that ain't much but its about all we can do
As we fight our war against Hep C we will be thinking of you
You have fought a hell of a battle and showed such courage and strength
And while fighting your own battle you still helped others at length
Well if and when I write a poem, there always comes a time
When my p brain just cant think, of another word that will rhyme
So its time to cut this off now and bring it to an end
But I'd really like to thank you, for being all our friends
I know, pretty lame but you started it!!! lol
Hector I just want to remind you there is still hope and to repeat your quote from ol Yogi that " it ain't over till its over " so please hang in there and know we are all still hoping for the very best results for you.
Take Care and THE VERY BEST OF LUCK with this battle!!!
Hector I just read your post. I am so thankful for your positive thinking. The God I know works miracles. I have saw it done before. I know that prays are answered and look up to heaven ask God for a miracle. Just trust in his amazing love and he will give you more strength to fight and keep going. He is with us all the time. There is a verse in the Bible that say Knock and the door will open seek and you will find. Another says if you beleive with all of your heart and ask never DOUBTING truly beleiveing he will give you what ever you ask for . Just beleive and I know he will never ever let you down. God bless you are in my prayers. We all lvoe you here and need you more than you will ever know you inspire us all and give us strength we did not know we had
Love and Prayers
Friday April 26th:
I will have a whole-body PET scan looking for HCC both inside and outside of my liver. It it has spread outside the liver and this would explain why my AFP is over 1,000 when there appears to be only a very small part of a tumor in my liver.
The results of the scan will determine whether I am terminal already (HCC metastasis) or if we will continue to search for unseen tumors in my liver, which if we can find it or them, may still be treatable and could be the way to being active again on the liver transplant waiting list.
That is my fiercest hope.
Positron Emission Tomography (PET) imaging have become essential diagnostic tools physicians use to reveal the presence and severity of cancers. Before a PET scan, the patient receives an intravenous injection of radioactive glucose. Many cancer cells are highly metabolic and rapidly synthesize the radioactive glucose. Information regarding the location of abnormal levels of radioactive glucose obtained from the whole-body PET/CT scan helps physicians effectively pinpoint the source of cancer and detect whether cancer is isolated to one specific area or has spread to other organs.
Wednesday May 1st:
Repeat TACE treatment in right liver lobe to destroy remnants of the only known cancer tumor that was treated about 6 weeks ago. Expedited scheduling due to urgency of my condition.
I am hitting the road running in hopes of learning what is causing my 1048.8 AFP blood level which is preventing me from being eligible for transplant.
Hoping too Hector - I can't walk by my computer without sending you prayers Friday is almost over here; you are probably having the SCAN now. I remember whenever I had my blood tests, I would try to visualise the blood purifying as it hit the syringe, hope against hope that it would produce a result that would defy what my mind's fears and negative expectations. I'm visualising the same for you now..... a small and humble contribution to someone who has shared so much of your journey to benefit others.
Hector, my husband and I both send our prayers and well wishes. Hopefully today's PET scan will go well and show no metastisis and hopefully the next TACE treatment will obliterate the last of that tumor. Love, positive energy, strength, and hope coming from Seattle to SF.
Can't say it as eloquently as so many others have said it here, but know that I ,too, think of you every day and wish that there was something substantial that I could do to help. You've helped me and so many others through so much. Will be waiting to hear your PET scan results and hoping against hope that you'll get a favorable result.
I echo the well written sentiments of all our friends here. Best wishes in your fight. I was however shocked to read your "end of road " comment. I just cant accept that the road ever really ends. You may be on a different road but a spirit so broad cannot cease to exsist. you have helped me more than you could ever know . Thanks!
Where is Clarence when you need him? Here we have so many people all fervently praying for you at once. Be sure to let us know if you meet any odd characters talking about earning their wings. Maybe it will be someone at the hospital?
There are several of us who have been around here for a very long time. Very few have exemplified the spirt of the fourms like you have with sincere, uplifting and knowledgeable information and guidance. Notably, you and that motorcycle riding lawyer. I looked at your profile and see you have 3,866 posts and I think I've read them all along the way. The most obvious observation is that the number is not nearly enough. So get yourself better and come back and finish the job
There are no words that can express how all of us feel. Deep in our hearts there is a special place for you and all our prayers are sent to you that you will overcome this just as you have overcome all obstacles that comes your way. This forum has never seen such an unselfish, caring, warm loving man as you. The help you have given so many getting through tx, and to those waiting is truly an inspiration. We are all here for you .
to what others already so eloquently have said, let me add my heartfelt wishes and prayers for turnaround in your HCC treatment. I am not visiting this site frequently, but thinking of you constantly. I hope and pray that the day will come when we all celebrate your new liver and you will be HCV and HCC free!
Keep fighting and let all the luck be on your side dear friend. Jeff
I had my PET/CT full-body scan today. All went smoothly. I am drink water like crazy to clear the radioactive tracer out of my system. I think I am still glowing. :-(
Monday clinical trial check-in. 34 weeks of Sofosbuvir + Ribavirin treatment. Still UND.
Wednesday we will repeat TACE (TranscAtheter ChemoEmbolization) again to kill remain part of tumor treated 6 weeks ago. Back into my liver through artery in my groin with catheters up into my liver until end of catheter is next to tumor then chemo beads are injected into tumor blood supply. Should be feeling better 3-4 days after treatment.
AFP 1048 2 weeks ago and still rising.
Have a good weekend everyone!
It is good to be alive!
Thank you so much for keeping us informed. I know it must be incredibly intense and draining. I can't say enough how much I admire your strength, wisdom and willingness to share and help others. I have learned so much from you. Keepa goin'!
hi Hector thank-you so much for keeping us informed like Idyllic i so admire your strength and the wat you always manage to find time to help those who are scared and need reassurance. Keep on fighting Hector we are all behind you. Much love Jules x
Hector, Hector, Hector...my friend, my hero, my inspiration, my guru. When I first came to this website you were the first to reach out to me and have always, and I mean always, been there for me to get me through fears and qualms and questions. I read your posts and have been following you on this thread waiting for good news.
As I sat here today with tears streaming down my face again I thought how selfish of me. But then I realized, no it's not. I would truly, truly miss you. You have become a friend. Think about you daily. Hector you are a warrior...you are the most positive person I know. I can't imagine not having you in my life.
There are miracles. I read that one book where it says God is just waiting to give you a miracle, you just have to ask. I have been doing that for the last two months and am driving my Doctor nuts...have gone from Meld 13-15 to 8. He is frazzled trying to figure it out along with other things getting better.
If anyone deserves a miracle it is you because so many depend upon you BUT also you deserve it....YOU Hector mi amigo...deserve to be illness free and enjoy the later years of your life. A road trip for FUN and laughs...you deserve it.
Hector....You know my plan is to get better, come to SF and pick you up and go on a coastal highway journey to visit some of our fellow posters....so I'll join your revolution Hector....remember I was at Woodstock and followed the Greatful Dead so I have been there....I told Advocate and OrphanedHawk that if I get through this I am going to be heard. I need someone like you who is already an advocate and medically intelligent to help. It's hard to say no to me in person...so Washington DC watch out...it is stupid that we are all having to go through this crap.
Keep Fighting Hector....Everyone is praying and believing for you. Our lives would be less with out YOU and we all know you wouldn't want that. Liked your song, Gene's poem and Cree said it well and so did everyone else. We are all sending you hoorah's...come on Hector....if anyone can beat the odds....it is YOU.
Love, Prayers, and Good Vibes coming to YOU. / Summer - (p.s. Let me know the meeting point for the revolution!)
There is nothing I could say that would not sound trite. You have touched my life, my friend, and as ceanathus says, I will carry that as long as I live. I don't know if this is the end or the beginning - that is beyond my knowledge. But of what I know, you are one of the greatest. Glow with pride, Hector
Hector I hope I am reading your last post correct, meaning that the scans didn't show up any new cancer so it's believed to still be contained in the liver......... Which would mean your still up to bat and have not recieved the 3 strikes yet......... Guy I don't care how you get on base, even a walk would be good at this point, just get there....... Best to you.
I've been away, and now swooping in to read your post and the 60 or so replies, with your updates on your situation.
There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. Your generous spirit will certainly live forever, and I pray that medicine, our prayers and the great spirit will bring you through this so that you can continue with your mission to teach, to support, to be a role model for us all. Whatever the outcome, you are surely an eternal being, and your love and light will always be present.
Joining with the others as we pray and hold the space for your healing. You are loved by so many, and I am one of those. Thank you for keeping us informed in the midst of these challenges, thinking of others, as always.
Lapis, beautifully said. Hector, we will be praying for you tonight, and every night until we get an update. You are surrounded by tremendous love and admiration. Amidst what is surely a painful time, there must be some comfort there. - H
You are a brave and generous person Hector.
I wish you all the best healing vibes and continued strength and stamina.
You truly are an inspiration and have so many people here that care very much for you.
Hi Hector, i havnt been on the forum in awhile also. I was drawn here to check up on you! You have all the support from the greatest people in the world right here! Im just one of many, to many to number, that you helped get through treatment, celebrated treatment successes and comforted treatment failures, YES! YOU Keep fighting! We all love you dearly! Dear Heavenly Father, you know all, you know Hector's situation, Please be with the doctors as they make decisions for and with Hector. Please be with Hector now more than ever, and bestow upon him your healing and peace that passes all understanding. Amen
Love you brother
After my last cancer treatment on March 13th and follow-up it was found that the last tumor wasn't completely killed. So I will had another treatment yesterday at UCSF in hopes of ridding myself of this darn tumor once and for all.
All went well.
I will stayed overnight at UCSF in the recovery room and will return home this afternoon.
Wish you good luck, Hector. Since I came around here while I treated I very soon understood that you were "the man whos answers were worth gold". When you answered my posts I felt privileged and that someone saw me, my struggle.
You stand out in here, even if I've never met you, I feel you have a strong spirit - good karma ;)
Hector, I think of you every day - and petition our Heavenly Father in your behalf. Remember that he knitted us together perfectly in our mothers' wombs, and knows each hair on our head by number, and loves us beyond our human comprehension. None of us is here by accident....our times and purposes are foreordained in the portals of Heaven. It's the great mysterious procession of life, generation unto generation. None of us can understand why the just so often suffer so greatly...and yet that is where faith enters the equation. Surely your own is being tested and tried beyond imagination...and hopefully strengthened in the process. Miracles still happen every day, Hector - and I still firmly believe that we're going to see one in your case. Meanwhile you're one hell of a warrior!!...so just stay strong!!
howdy from Texas!
Hector, I had to chime in with everyone!
group hug- group prayer- group gratitude. you have been a mainstay here for as long as i can recall and i been on here a long time. even tho i been off for a while (taking a breath in between tx)- i think of you often and keep you in my GIANT prayer-that-never-stops.
HEAL US- Oh heavenly Abba.
surely you can feel the lift of all the hands holding you up and the holy angel wings silently wrapped about your life- soft, loving, strong.
Get well soon! Keep the faith! We love you!!! Keep the music going...
Dear H, came in to check on you. Thank you so much for your update. I think about you often and come in to check to see how you are
You are such an inspiration to me and to everyone else on here.
I pray for you every day. You have been a miracle in my life. I know you will receive one as well.
Take care, rest...drink water :)
Thru tears, and scrolling down thru this thread, my prayer is to read
of success in eradicating your tumor completely, and you successfully getting a brand new liver.
You helped me get thru my treatment Hector: anything I can do to help, just let me know xoxo
Hector, just putting it out there for you!!!!!!!!!!' Thinking nothing but positive thoughts and sending peaceful energy for you!!! You are a very kind and giving person. I want you to know how much I appreciate what you have done ( so unselfishly) for so many!!!!!!
I have not been on in a long time. I don't have much to ask about now that I am post tx 9 months, and I don't have much to offer as we have so many far more informed members (like you) who have usually posted the best advice; no point in me posting anything.
I do think of you often, and as others have said, I pop in exclusively from time to time for the sole purpose of checking on you. I don't know what to say other than "ditto" on what has already been said in the previous 80+ comments (i.e., sending my prayers, best wishes, good thoughts, positive visualizations and whatever else we can possibly send your way). But I also want to reiterate my huge thanks for all that you do for everyone who comes to this site scared, worried and confused upon their dx.
With so many of us so fully vested in your success, I don't know how it can't happen! It has to happen! Keep us posted and know you have us all standing with you.
God bless you hector. You've been so much help to so many people. I am hopeful that you will have a miracle. What will all the new people treating do without your knowledge?. I don't think I could have ever been as strong as you have been. If there is a way to beat this, you are the one who will find the way. Thought and prayer are with you.
Can we PLEASE have an update from you.Just a few simple statements like how are you feeling?How are you passing time?What you enjoy eating these days...
With so much positive energy how can any negatives survive.It just can't.
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