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Is dating a person with Hep C possible

Hello, I just met someone who is just begining treatment with hep c.  I really don't know if dating or even being friends with this person is possible.  From what I read about the treatment therapy, the person in treatment has very a altered mind and mood situation.  And to add, confusion, short term memory issues etc.

It seems like she is not very "emotionally" connected.  She makes plans with me only to cancel them or does not follow through with them.  conversations seem to go all over the place. She is showing signs that she can get easily agitated.  I have concerns that she could snap with me?  Will she?

I really like this woman but I am not sure that I am getting to know the "real" person?

Does anyone have any sugguestions or insight on this?  should I just stay or leave this situation?.  
16 Responses
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148588 tn?1465778809
The Clash not The Kinks.
Helpful - 0
131817 tn?1209529311
Should I stay or should I go....da dah da da da dah.  Gotta think Kinks!  Geez, this is a tough one and I really want to agree you are in a tough place. As desrt says, leave if you have any doubts. As RGlass says, I agree and want to laugh, because that was me on tx. But to be fair, you may have found that love of your life as LL wants to allude too. Wow, lot's of choices. I think you just need to play it through and see how things work out. Week 4 of tx can be a rough one, usually anemia by that time.....and other sx.  You need to either be there or NOT be there for her, but please don't string her along. Tx is hard enough.
Helpful - 0
148588 tn?1465778809
"should I just stay or leave this situation?'

Leave. She can probably find someone else with fewer doubts and questions. People on interferon need support, not critiques of their conversations and their ability to follow through on plans.
Helpful - 0
250084 tn?1303307435
Hi, agree with all :}

  I admire that you wouldn't want to abandon someone in need, going thru h*ll! Tho, as above, if you 'just met', it's quite a lot to take on with someone you don't even 'know' yet.

I can't even imagine trying to START a relationship while starting tx, for either person.
  If you've just met....very possible as forsee said that she's under a lot of worry, stress, fear so that's the reasons for the 'red flag' behavior and the cancelling dates, etc. Obviously there is something there you like, so for now maybe be friends, see how this tx goes for her and  if she isn't a true 'Sybil' .....maybe it can develop into something anyway, or later. She has either 24 or 48 weeks ahead of her, maybe more (minus 4 of course), so it'll be awhile before she's 'normal' minded. It can be hard to keep the ones that love us now,lol, let alone falling in love with someone on this! IF it happens, tho....I'd say it'd than last thru anything!!

Good luck to you both, LL
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Good take on the situation!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Not sure how much of "RGlass's" comments were with tongue in cheek, or for that matter some of the other comments, including mine.

While it's true treatment effects us in many ways, I certainly would not advise anyone to abandon someone during treatment because things might get difficult. Like many here, I had a relationship that went south during treatment -- not to mention being abandoned by friends -- so certainly can't advise anyone to jump ship because of rough seas. Also keep in mind that what "RGlass" said has elements of truth -- the Sybil analogy :) -- it's not necessarily going to be that bad and in fact some of us are somewhat normal on treatment.

That said, you just met this woman so only you can determine if she is worth further emotional investment.

-- Jim
Helpful - 0
86075 tn?1238115091
I completely agree with Jim on this, you didn't make it clear whether she was already on treatment, or about to begin treatment. To be fair, I'm right there too, about to begin treatment, and this is no picnic either, my nerves are frayed to say the least, and I'm biting my own jaw shut...lol...

...there could be ALL MANNER OF THINGS HAPPENING...she might not be very interested in you....probably not really nice, but people will act spaced out and disconnected if they really want you to not contact them anymore because they are just not interested, or she could be very ambivalent and shy about pursuing something with someone at this stage of the procedings...

she could be feeling the effects of the drugs if she has just begun them....in which case, she could use you for a friend, if not anything else, as she's going through this hard process...trouble is, you really haven't laid the foundations of a good friendship beforehand, in which case you might not be up for the job to be a friend to her now, that's probably more up to you....

I don't know that starting a romance with someone who is just beginning treatment would bode well for any relationship, but stranger things have happened...so there could be many things going on...and we know far less then you do..best of luck.
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Avatar universal
So, I am right to think that her state of mind will get worse.  She has been on treatment for 4 weeks now.

I am not a glutton for punishment thats for sure.  This is why I am here asking for advise.  

I will perhaps agree and go with the sugguestion to speak on the phone and limit my "in-person" visits.  I know that I would not want to be abandoned if this situation was reversed.

thanks for your advise
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your so funny....that was good..Illl have to remember that..I love the humor ;)

thanks
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Avatar universal
cracking up! that was funny
Helpful - 0
96938 tn?1189799858
On the other hand....dating someone with short-term memory problems could have it's advantages. I can think of a few

'hey, you said your were buying'
'no, we didn't just have sex, we're just warming up remember'
'love you?, I didn't say that.'
'you said it just a few minutes ago, and that the loan would be in 20's'
Helpful - 0
206807 tn?1331936184
You stated you just met this person. Unless you are a glutton for punishment and having a relationship with Sybil appeals to you, My advice is to run for your life, block all of her calls, emails, text messages, move, and leave no forwarding address. People on tx are not like picking up a stray, cute Puppy to nurse back to health. It is more like picking up a full grown stray Pit Bull that has the capability to tear you apart when ever the notion seems like the right thing to do. You just met this person, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
Helpful - 0
392759 tn?1200786083
I started to get ****** liver b4 tx cause my liver was so sick puzzled me and the people around me.
We don't know her or what state her liver is in that could be making her loony. I'm so glad my kids at least kept loving me as I got ****** and then depressed while on tx,mind u I didn't start till they were both out of the house.
Talking to my friends and family helped me heaps through tx In fact if my kids didn't constantly ph me to tell me how much they love and appreciate me I could of just stopped every thing.
Please don't sacrafice your self on the hepc cross but you could talk to her on the ph etc if you think you can with out loosing yourself, or even want too while shes going through.
Tell her about this site at least. My mind was so instable I didn't find this site till after tx theres other sites as well the Aussie one that is full of good info, tho not as easy to get around as this one for me.
Wishing her luck and u 2
Aroha Linda ( O :
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Surf: It seems like she is not very "emotionally" connected.  She makes plans with me only to cancel them or does not follow through with them.  conversations seem to go all over the place. She is showing signs that she can get easily agitated.  I have concerns that she could snap with me?  
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Sounds like my last girlfriend, but didn't know she was treating for Hep C. :)
---------------------

Here's the problem. You say "someone who is beginning treatment". Has she begun yet or hasn't she started yet.

If she hasn't started yet, I somewhat agree with NY and Deb although I wouldn't be as hard on her as them since she might have a lot on her mind with an treatment upcoming.

However, if she is on treatment, then the question remains how much of what you are experiencing are the drugs and how much her?

Well, good luck. I have a hard enough time making heads or tails out of relationships  even when the other person is off the treatment drugs :)

Only advice is to maybe give it some space and see how things go. BTW you mention "she" and your name is "surfgirl", so I'm assuming this is a girl/girl relationship which I have even less experience with except, of course, in my fantasies :)

-- Jim
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Agrees totally with nygirl!  Some people are angry all their lives, don't confuse NATURAL mental imbalances with something else.
The Chinese call the liver "the angry organ" for a reason.
treatment as deb nyg says will make this worse.

Deb
Helpful - 0
179856 tn?1333547362
It sounds like she's already out of her mind and I'd run as fast as you can from that situation - there are plenty more fish in the sea.  If she's this nuts before treatment you can bet that the meds will make her even more so once they start to really get on board.

Good luck.
Helpful - 0
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